


Speed Date

by Everlark_Pearl



Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gay Male Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-15 16:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 111,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everlark_Pearl/pseuds/Everlark_Pearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last place Katniss Everdeen expects to find love is at a gay speed dating event, but when Peeta Mellark approaches her, they have a speed date of their very own and embark on a relationship that Katniss never could have predicted for herself. Modern day AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Speed Date

**Author's Note:**

> This is a piece I wrote for Prompts in Panem's "Modern Day" challenge. As I wrote, the characters started to really flesh themselves out, so I left a lot of the story open ended because I do believe that there could be more to this story. If there is enough interest in more, I'll definitely continue, so let me know your thoughts!

Katniss Everdeen was a very good friend. She prided herself on her dependable nature and loyalty, but the day her best friend Gale Hawthorne asked her to go with him while he attended a gay speed dating event in the city, she had to draw the line. There was no way she was going to spend two and half hours in a hotel bar without Gale with her. She often wondered if Gale remembered that she was single too.

It’s not like she never went to the gay bars with him. They did that all the time, but those nights were full of checking out probable suitors for her friend, together. They did the same for Katniss when they went to the local watering holes. This was different. He was asking her to stand around _alone_ while he had fun when he knows how much she hates standing alone in crowds.

“Come on! We can go to a bar with straight men as soon as it’s over.” Gale begged. His voice was loud and piercing while they waited in line at Starbucks. People were beginning to stare and Katniss was beginning to get fed up.

“Gale, why do you even want to do this anyway? If you want a date use alcohol and that made up story of saving that old lady from her burning home like other people would.” Gale had to be different. He didn’t want to meet just any man at any bar; he wanted to find his soul mate. It made Katniss want to gag.

“You know that’s not my style. We’ll go to the hotel first and find me a husband, and then we’ll go find you one. Not everything looks for love at the disease ridden petri dish fuck holes that you love to go to.”

“Why do you have to be such a Queen?” They had this argument all the time. Gale thought Katniss was crazy for thinking she’d find anyone of worth at a bar, and Katniss thought Gale was crazy for looking for a knight in shining armor. How could he really believe anyone like that actually existed?

“I’m just asking one favor! One! Come with me so that if it turns out to be bullshit I have an excuse to leave. We’ll pretend you’re my ride and you got sick.” If he groveled any more he’d be on his knees in the middle of the store embarrassing the both of them.

“Gale…”

“I’ll give you fifty bucks to sit at the bar and drink for two hours.”

“Fine.”

They got to the hotel at 7:00. Katniss said they left too early, but Gale insisted. He barged into her apartment at 6:15, and promptly freaked out when he saw she was still in sweats. From there, he took it upon himself to rummage through her closet and throw a black and yellow sleeveless, scoop neck dress onto her bed.

_“Gale, no... I hate that dress. It makes me look like a bumblebee.”_

_“Then why do you have it?”_

_“I was in the middle of a crisis, ok?  I’m not wearing it.”_

_“Come on, it’s hot. And wear your black heels, oh and use the black clutch purse!”_

_“Gale! You’re acting like this is my date night or something.”_

_“Sorry, I’m just nervous, and they close the doors at 7:30. I paid fifty dollars for this; I’m not getting locked out.”_

_“You better not even try to make me feel guilty over having to pay for me to get in too. This was your idea.”_

They called and asked if Katniss still had to pay to attend even if she wasn’t participating and were told she would if she wanted to get in. Otherwise, she’d have to wait outside of the bar. Katniss thought for a fleeting moment that she would be able to get out of it. Unfortunately, Gale told her he would pay for not only her drinks, but her ticket too. She was stuck.

She sat herself down at the bar after Gale left with the rest of the attendees to get started, and since Gale gave her money for her drinks, she ordered a martini instead of a beer and started to count down the hours that she had to sit there waiting for Gale to find Mr. Right. She never even notice the man approach her.

“You look a little out of place.”

Katniss looked up to see blond hair and blue eyes standing before her, sporting an amused expression and holding a bottle of Sam Adams.

“Peeta Mellark,” he said, extending his empty hand to her.

“Katniss Everdeen,” she replied, taking his hand. “Shouldn’t you be mingling with the rest?” He lets out a bellowing laugh in response to her question.

“Do you mind if I sit?” Katniss shook her head and Peeta sits down. “I’m not here for the speed dating, my brother is.” Katniss turns a little in her seat at this revelation. Peeta Mellark just became a lot more interesting. “I’m his excuse to run out of here if these guys aren’t up to snuff.”

“No kidding,” Katniss laughed. “That’s why I’m here too, but for my friend Gale.”

She looked at the man that was sitting next to her.  Piercing blue eyes, wide shoulders, blond curly hair that is just the right length – there was a curl that poked out and wrapped around the middle of his left ear that was so enticing she had to stop herself from reaching out and touching it. He was wearing dark wash jeans, and a dark blue, collared, button down shirt with the top button undone. It was nothing like the ripped jeans, backward baseball caps, and t-shirts she was used to seeing at other bars.

“Well it looks like we’re both doing our Good Samaritan duties tonight,” Peeta smiled. “Can I buy you another drink?” Katniss had heard this one before and her heart sank at the thought of Peeta only looking better than the rest instead of acting better, but rather than telling him to go back to whatever hole he crawled out of like she usually would, she picked up her martini glass and drained the remaining liquid in one gulp. She decided give him the benefit of the doubt, just that once.

“Yes you can.” Katniss nodded, setting her empty glass back on the bar. Peeta ordered her a second martini, but nothing else for himself, explaining that he was driving that night, so he only gets one beer.

“I’m sorry,” Katniss said. “I’m planning to drink my way through these next two hours.”

“Would you mind if I keep you company while you do it?” Peeta flashed another smile and Katniss had to look away. She had just met this man, but his smiles were already causing her stomach to do somersaults. She was usually immune to the charms of men in bars, Gale said it was the reason she was still single, but this Peeta Mellark was about as charming as they got and all he’d done was smile at her.

“Alright…” Katniss even smiled in return. She knew her smile wasn’t nearly as charming, but if she wanted to keep this one around she knew she’d better try to look personable.

 That was part of her problem. She would doll herself up, go to the bars, and when a man approached her she would immediately turn cold. She would agree to them buying her drinks, she would try to ignore them, and wouldn’t give them any sort of indication that she was interested. Most of the time she wasn’t, but there had been a few she scared off that she may have pursued something with if she could have figured out how to do that.

If she had enough liquor, she sometimes slept with one of the guys that approached her, but that was always where it ended whether it was her doing or his. She looked at her second drink and then back over to Peeta. Gale’s disapprovals were all starting to make sense.

“On second thought, I think I’ll be done after this one.” Peeta gave her a strange look, but didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he leaned over and got in close before he started to speak. The noise that had started with the commencement of the speed dating behind them was beginning to make it hard to converse.

“So how was your day?” he asked loudly. The normal thing to do was throw a one word answer his way and follow it up with asking how his day was, but for some reason, what was normal for Katniss and what she had been doing in those first few minutes were not the same thing.

“It was pretty rough, actually. My boss is a dick and just before I was getting ready to leave for the day he threw three new accounts that had to be added into our system before the close of business. He does that shit all the time.” Her brain was telling her to shut up, he didn’t want to be burdened with whining, and he was just being polite.

“That doesn’t sound fun at all, I’m sorry.” Why was he apologizing? “What is it that you do?”

“I’m a membership and billing services rep for Medical Mutual.” Peeta grimaced at her revelation.  “I hate it.”

“It sounds boring. What would you rather be doing?” He looked at her intently, as though he was hanging on every word she said, obviously great at pretending to be interested in what she had to say. Maybe that’s why she kept talking.

“Making music,” she never told people that. Not even Gale. The only thing he knew was that she liked to sing karaoke when they went out. “I love to sing. It’s a silly pipe dream, but if I had a choice, that’d be it.” She wanted to take that back. That wasn’t for him to know. Why did she tell him something she always kept so private?

“That sounds nice,” he smiled again and Katniss felt her cheeks redden at the way his eyes crinkled slightly when he did it. “It’s getting really loud in here. Do you want to maybe take a walk or something?”

Why would she want to do that? She could hear the news story clearly: _“Katniss Everdeen was last seen with a handsome, charming, well-dressed man at a hotel bar. Police are still searching for a body.”_ But Katniss wasn’t doing anything within reason that night.

“Sure,” Katniss replied, but she was not leaving until she told Gale. She needed at least one person who knew where she went. Peeta told her he’d be in the lobby, and she waited until the current round of speed dates finished and they were switching spots. Katniss ran in quickly, tapping Gale on the shoulder and telling him she was going out to take a walk but would be back at 10:00 so they could leave. He was instructed to call if he wanted to leave sooner than that.

She spotted Peeta in the lobby waiting for her when she exited the bar, and he smiled when he noticed her walking toward him. He took a step to the side and opened the door, motioning for her to go out first and he then followed behind, falling into step with her when they hit the pavement.

When he pulled a mint from his pocket and popped it into his mouth as he walked, Katniss pretended to ignore it but grit her teeth angrily. She though he must have been thinking he was going to get a kiss. She wanted to tell him that he’d better rethink that plan. Maybe this one was no different than the rest of them after all. He just dressed nicer.

“Do you want a mint?” he offered. Now he was trying to prep her for a kiss too. She declined and they walked in silence for several minutes. Now that they were away from the noise, she wasn’t sure what to say.

“What time is it?” She asked. “My phone is buried in the bottom of my purse and I don’t feel like digging it out right now.” She was regretting ever agreeing to take a walk now that it appeared he was expecting something in return for the martini he bought her. She thought she could get the time and say that it was a bad idea and it would be best to turn around and go back to the hotel. She’d rather have sat and watched Gale have fun with a different guy every few minutes than walk around with someone who was expecting a reward.

“It’s 8:15.” Peeta replied, looking at the silver watch around his wrist. That was it? It certainly felt much later than that. Now there was no excuse to begin walking back yet. She was just going to be honest. Let him know that she should have never agreed to go out there with him in the first place, because he had the wrong idea about what they were doing. What were they doing, anyway?

She didn’t say a word. They walked side by side, block by block until they reached a small park with a line of benches that overlooked the water. It was getting closer and closer to being time to tell Peeta off, and as much as she dreaded doing it, she couldn’t let him think his advances actually worked on her. What would that have said about her? He presented himself as interested in what she had to say and then swept her off to a private place to have his way? She sat next to him anyway, sighing at the relief it brought her feet. She wanted to kill Gale for telling her to wear those heels.

“So you know I have a brother. What about you? Any siblings?” It was an unexpected question, and caught Katniss off guard.

“I have a younger sister, Primrose. We just call her Prim. She’s in nursing school right now. She actually wants to be a doctor, but my family can’t afford to send her to medical school on their own, and they don’t want to make her take out loans. Her plan is to become a nurse, find a job and start a savings. My parents agreed to help her pay what she can’t cover. It’s the only way they’d ever be able to afford it.” Once again she was saying too much. Usually, she never said anything, so why was she sitting here on a park bench next to a man she had just met, telling him all about her sister’s schooling plans?

“Good for her,” Peeta said enthusiastically. He sounded genuinely interested, just like he did when Katniss talked about her job. “I’m the youngest. My oldest brother went into the family business, my middle brother, the one that dragged me to that hotel, he’s a hair dresser.” Peeta made a face after that. “I know. Walking cliché, right? He’s damn good, though. And me, I teach art.” Katniss was impressed. She wouldn’t have pegged him as an artist.

“What college do you teach at?” Katniss asked.

“Oh I don’t work at a college. I work at an elementary school teaching kids different art techniques.” He looked at her like he was waiting for her to look down on him for being less than what she expected, but she never did. It actually made her smile. “There’s a new program that they hired me for. It’s stressful because I have to come up with lesson plans to teach the kids these art concepts that they’d probably never learn otherwise, but at the same time I have to do fundraising in order to keep the program going and the classroom full of supplies in addition to keeping my job.” She liked listening to him talk. So much so that she didn’t want him to stop. “I basically have to find a way to keep getting a paycheck from the school. Without the fundraising they can’t run the program or pay me. My parents hate it, they keep telling me to stop pretending to be an artist and come and work with the family like I’m supposed to.” Katniss didn’t like the sound of that.

“What’s the family business?” She asked.

“We have a bakery.”

“So wait… your parents are bakers and they named you Peeta? What’s your brother’s name? Ciabatta?” It was a low blow, and she wanted to take it back as soon as she’d said it, but thankfully Peeta laughed and shook his head.

“Neil. His name is Neil. And my oldest brother is Spencer. I guess my parents ran out of normal names by the time I was born and just decided to give me a name that makes people think of bread.” He was smiling while he said it, but Katniss could see even then that there was more to all of that than Peeta was willing to reveal at that moment, so she didn’t push the subject further.

She looked down at the ground and noticed for the first time that Peeta’s shoes were awfully casual for the outfit that he was wearing.

“What’s with the Chucks?” Katniss asked.

“Well, I had a different shirt on that went with them a lot better than this does.” Peeta replied, grabbing the fabric of his shirt and pulling it a little. “This is my brother’s shirt, and kind of uncomfortable and stiff at that.”

“What happened to your other shirt?”

“He made me change it if he was going to be seen in public with me.” He shrugged. “He would have made me change my shoes too if my feet weren’t bigger than his.”

“Why? What was wrong with your original shirt?” She was not usually that inquisitive, but with the way things were going that night, it wasn’t surprising that she was asking so many questions.

“Oh, he doesn’t like my Hawaiian shirts. Especially the one that I decided to wear tonight. Blue, with orange hibiscus flowers,” He laughed. “I did it on purpose. My way of passive aggressively repaying him for making me go to this speed dating thing in the first place, but it backfired.” With every word that came out of his mouth, Peeta Mellark, and his life, got more and more intriguing, and Katniss became more and more interested. 

“At least you tried.” Katniss said, leaning forward a little to adjust her dress.

“Wait…” Peeta called out, reaching his hand out toward Katniss. “Eyelash.” Katniss froze as Peeta’s pointer finger came in contact with her cheek bone. He brushed it gently across her face and pulled away as realization washed over his face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Usually, Katniss would have agreed. She didn’t even like when a guy she was talking to would touch her shoulder while they talked let alone run their fingers across her face, but what Peeta did felt different. It was gentle and warm, and she didn’t mind a bit.

“It’s fine,” Katniss assured him.

“Well, did you want to make a wish?” Peeta asked as he brought his hand back to focus. She hadn’t done that since she was a child. Wishing that her father would come home from work with ice cream or that she and Prim would wake up Christmas morning to a puppy under the tree.

 _“I wish I had more time to spend with Peeta tonight.”_ She kept the wish to herself, and blew on Peeta’s fingers lightly, closing her eyes tight. She couldn’t explain it, but there was something about making a wish on a stray eyelash that lit a smoldering fire in the pit of her stomach. Why was she acting like Gale?

When she opened her eyes, Peeta was reaching into his pocket and grabbing another mint, and popped it into his mouth with a shy smile. She couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of him, and her breath hitched when he poked his tongue out and licked his lips.

The sound of Katniss’ phone ringing from the bottom of her bag snapped her out of the staring problem she seemed to acquire. It was Gale calling, yelling at her and asking her where the hell she was at. She pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at the display, seeing the clock for the first time since Peeta told her it was 8:15. It was 10:30.

They began walking back to the hotel quickly, ruminating out loud over how so much time could have passed so quickly. Katniss wondered to herself how so much time could have passed without Peeta trying to kiss her, too. Even though the idea of it angered her at first, when he didn’t try it, she found herself wishing that he had and wondered why he didn’t.

She spotted Gale standing outside of the hotel, but he didn’t look angry. In fact, he was smiling and in what looked like a very deep conversation with a blond that looked alarmingly like Peeta, but with shorter hair.

“Is that your brother talking to my friend, or do you have a doppelganger out there?” Katniss asked.

“That’s Neil.” Peeta confirmed. He waved at him as they approached, and Gale’s face looked confused as Katniss moved next to him.

“Who’s that?” Gale questioned.

“Your little friend’s brother… his name is Peeta.” Katniss answered. She introduced the two and got to meet Neil. Up close he looked less like Peeta. His eyes were smaller, and even though his hair was shorter than Peeta’s she could tell it wasn’t curly. Peeta put another mint into his mouth and shuffled his weight a little after he introduced them.

“He’s eating his mints!” Neil exclaimed with a smile. “He only does that when he’s nervous. You must make him nervous.” He looked at Katniss and started to laugh after Peeta told him to shut up.

“Neil and I are going to stop at Bounce for a drink, Katniss. Did you want me to drop you off at home first or did you want to come with us?” A gay speed dating event followed by a gay club? Any other day this would have be fine, but not that night. Not after spending the last couple of hours with Peeta. She didn’t want to have to say goodbye to him at all let alone leave him to go stand around alone again.

“I’m just going to go home; you guys don’t need a third wheel.” Katniss said. While Gale and Neil were trying to figure out the best route to get Katniss home and get to the club, Peeta spoke up.

“I can take her home.” She wanted to smile and tell him yes right away. It would have given her an extra fifteen minutes with him. Fifteen extra minutes to learn more about him. But she wouldn’t show him how happy she was, not yet. She stood by and let Gale handle it like he always did.

“Are you sure?” Gale asked, eyeing Peeta. “Can I trust your brother?” He said to Neil.

“He may be awkward and he may not get many women, but he _is_ trustworthy.” Neil attested.

It was settled. Gale and Neil were going to the club in Gale’s car, and Peeta was taking Katniss home in his car. Before Katniss got into Gale’s car, be grabbed her arm and pulled her aside.

“Let’s marry them.” He whispered. “Then we can be related.” She laughed and punched his arm, sending him off to his car with a promise that she would call him in the morning to tell him everything that led to her walk with Peeta.

She observed Peeta’s profile as he drove. Focused eyes, with eyelashes so long it would make any woman angry that they belonged to a man, a nose that wasn’t perfect, but turned up just slightly at the end, and plump lips that stuck out just a little in their relaxed state. Lips that Katniss suddenly wanted to put her own to.

Maybe Gale had the right idea all along. She was never out looking for husband material like him, but maybe it was time to start.  Maybe her days of flings and two month long relationships with non-committal men were coming to an end. She had never met a man she wanted to spend so much time with so quickly before. She kept forgetting that they just met.

When Peeta turned to her suddenly while they were at a red light, she jumped, so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize she was staring at him so intently and letting so much silence build between them.

“Can we be honest with each other?” he asked. The question scared Katniss, but she nodded. She needed to know what he was about to tell her. She figured it must be the part where he was going to tell her that he was married and never meant to lead her on the way he did. “I don’t really want to bring you home yet. Get coffee with me?”

Katniss stared at him again, fighting the smile that wanted to spring to her lips at the realization that their minds were on the same page.

“I’d like that.” Katniss answered.

“It’s just that… you look so pretty tonight. It’d be a waste if I just took you home.” Nobody had ever called her pretty before that night. Not even Gale. Sexy or hot, sure, she had gotten those before when out at bars, or when she asked Gale how her outfit looked and he thought that was what she wanted to hear, but never pretty.

They each got a cup of coffee and agreed to share a piece of apple pie. Peeta commented that she needed to try the apple pie at his family’s bakery -- it’s much better than the stuff they were currently eating. They talked about everything from music to their favorite toppings on pizza, and when the waitress came around with the check and made it clear that she was closing up, Katniss’ stomach dropped. It was the best evening she’d had in years and she didn’t want it to end.

She reached into her purse to grab a few bills to throw onto the table, but Peeta stopped her.

“Put your money away, I’ve got it.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off. “I’ve got it.” He gave her another one of his smiles, and threw the money onto the table. “Thanks for keeping me company tonight.”

“Was this a date?” Katniss asked abruptly. Part of her question was a joke, but another part of it was serious. What was were they doing? Was it Peeta being polite again by taking her out for coffee after having to spend her evening helping a friend who ended up just leaving with someone else in the end? She wasn’t mad about that, but maybe Peeta thought she was and thought taking her out for coffee would make her feel better.

“I don’t know,” Peeta answered. “You deserve more than coffee and pie on a date, but we can consider it an unofficial first date. I mean… if you wanted to go on a real date with me at all.” He popped another mint into his mouth, indicating his nerves, and the endearing way that he crumpled the wrapper between his thumb and forefinger gave Katniss the courage to respond with exactly what she was thinking.

“You’re the only person I’ve met in the last two years that I’ve wanted to go out on a real date with.” Peeta smiled even wider as he dropped the mint wrapper into his empty mug.

“Then have brunch with me tomorrow.” He said. “Afterward, we can go to the art museum.” Katniss couldn’t help it; she was the one smiling widely after that. Everything Peeta did was different than the other guys she had spent time with after all. Brunch and the art museum instead of dinner and drinks. Or drinks and more drinks.

“A real first date?” Katniss asked.

“Yes… a real first date.” Peeta replied. It took Katniss less than a second to tell him yes.

Peeta drove Katniss to her apartment and insisted on walking her to her door. He wouldn’t agree to just sitting in his car and watching to make sure she got in the lobby door alright, he wanted to make sure she got into the apartment alright too.

They stopped at the door to say their goodbyes, but Katniss didn’t want to say goodbye yet. She also didn’t want to send the wrong message by inviting him in either, so she gave him her phone number instead, and asked him to text to let her know he got home safely.

“I’ll come and pick you up for brunch at 10:30.” Peeta said. “Will that work for you?” She agreed to 10:30, but neither of them seemed to know what to do after that.

Finally, Peeta opened his arms and Katniss moved closer, letting him wrap them around her tightly. Without thinking, she moved her hands to his back and rested her head on his shoulder. It was the most intimate hug she’d ever had with anyone, let alone someone she had just met a few hours prior, but for some reason, it just felt right. It felt like it was where she is supposed to be. Peeta was the first to let go, and they stared at each other, not sure of how to end it. How can you end something you had no interest in stopping?

“I’m out of mints.” Peeta said with a nervous laugh, running his hand through his hair.  “I really want to kiss you, but I don’t want you to think I’m one of _those guys_.” He finally admitted.

“I don’t think that about you.” Katniss assured him. She moved up on her tip toes just slightly so she could reach his mouth and gave him a peck on the lips. She knew right away that was not nearly enough to keep her going until she was with him again in the morning.

It was clear that Peeta had the same thought when he leaned back in and placed a second kiss on her lips. It was slow and sensual, and like nothing she’d ever experienced. His bottom lip rested between hers and not once did he try to take it further than that. His hand cupped her cheek; when he pulled away, he left it there only briefly. He ran his thumb over her cheek bone, and Katniss was surprised at how it feels even gentler than when he wiped her eyelash away. Finally, he trailed his hand down to her shoulder, over her arm, and settled at her hand, lacing their fingers together before speaking.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Katniss.” His voice was wistful and Katniss knew that if she spoke at that moment, she would have sounded the same way.

She reached up quickly and ran her fingers through his hair, spending extra time on the left side where that small curl still wrapped around his ear. He gave her a crooked smile after she takes her hand away.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that all night.” She admitted.

They kept their hands clasped together even as he began to walk away, letting go only after he moved so far away that they couldn’t reach each other anymore. He gave one last wave before turning around and walking away – Katniss watched him as he went.

“Hey Peeta?” she called out. He turned around quickly, unable to hide the large smile that had spread from ear to ear. “Wear one of your Hawaiian shirts tomorrow.” He chuckled, but agreed before turning back around and walking away at last.

Maybe speed dating wasn’t so bad after all.


	2. Red Shirts and Waffles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's finally time to get this story rolling, and I am so excited about it! You may notice a tense change between the prologue and this part, and it was intentional. I'm still working on perfecting my 3rd person writing, so please bear with me. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Katniss hadn’t been this anxious since childhood. After getting home the night before, she didn’t let go of her phone for a minute anticipating the text she made Peeta promise to send so she knew he made it home safely.

Twenty minutes later, when the text from a number she didn’t recognize came to her phone, she knew exactly who it was. His message was simple, _“I’m home,”_ but while Katniss was trying to think of something clever to reply with, a second message came in, _“Can I have your address since I won’t have you to show me how to get back to your apartment in the morning?”_ She didn’t hesitate to give it to him.

His next message was a thank you, quickly followed by a goodnight.

It was that goodnight text that she was still staring at, focusing on the word and the smile emoticon that followed it. She had barely slept, waking every hour to stare at the clock, then again at the text, mentally chastising herself for smiling every single time she looked at the message. By 7:00am, she gave up on sleeping and hopped in the shower, knowing it was still far too early to call Gale, especially since he’d gone to Bounce the night before.

Standing in front of her closet in her robe, water dripping down her face from her hair, she realized that picking an outfit that felt appropriate was going to be impossible. Peeta had seen her dressed up about as fancy as it got for her, and it would do neither of them any good if she tried to pretend that way of dress was normal for her.

As she contemplated if she should dress in something that was much more “Katniss”, or if she should fish something cuter out of the back of the closet, she knew she was probably overthinking it, she did tell Peeta to wear a Hawaiian shirt – what could he possibly expect her to wear to compliment that?

Grabbing at the green and blue striped shirt, and dark wash jeans, she threw them onto her bed, trying to imagine what it would look like next to Peeta. It was a typical, every day outfit, and if she brushed her hair out and threw it into the normal braid she usually wore, she’d think it was just another work day instead of brunch with one of the most endearing men she had ever met. Maybe the outfit was too plain for the date. Where exactly was he taking her for brunch? It was time to call Gale.

“It’s about time!” Gale yells into the phone after picking it up, skipping any sort of formal salutation.

“I figured you would still be asleep,” Katniss says, plopping herself down on her bed. She gives her outfit a sideways glance as it sits on the end of the bed, and begins to wonder if maybe it would be better to wear something cuter, like one of those sundresses she wore when it got really humid outside.

“No, I couldn’t sleep for shit,” Gale sighs. Katniss had heard that sigh before. It was Gale’s signature -- I’m pretending to complain, but really I’m smitten -- Sigh.

“You either?” Katniss asks, smiling to herself.

“We’re not talking about that now, you promised you’d tell me everything,” Gale wasn’t one to waste time, especially when his best friend disappeared to take a walk with a guy he’d never met before.

She tells her story from the beginning, starting with the way Peeta approached her at the bar, and she stops with their walk back to the hotel – Gale is listening to the whole story without interrupting once, and Katniss knows that he must really be interested to not interrupt her during a story.

“And then when he drove me home, he said he didn’t really want to take me home yet, and then asked me out for coffee,” Katniss continues, stopping to leave Gale hanging for a moment. She hears him shift as though he is sitting up because the story is so interesting that it’s impossible to sit still any longer.

“Out for coffee?” Gale says sounding blindsided. “Have you ever had a guy invite you out for _coffee_?”

“Never,” Katniss confirms. “So we went to a small diner… that deserted one on 9th that we always wonder how it stays open.”

“I can’t believe you actually went.”

“I didn’t want him to bring me home any more than he wanted to take me home,” Katniss admits. If she were talking to anyone else right now, she never would have admitted that, but it was Gale. She tells him everything. With the admission, Gale doesn’t even have to ask if there was more to the story, he already knows.

“What happened when he took you home?”

“He invited me out for brunch and to the museum…” Katniss stops there.

“And?”

“And he kissed me.” Katniss says, pausing before adding the final detail. “No tongue.”

“No tongue?” Gale asks, “You mean he kissed you like a gentleman?”

“He kissed me better than any of the others have, that’s all I can say,” Katniss answers, laughing at Gale’s shock. “Did you kiss Neil last night?”

“As a matter of fact, I didn’t. Now I want to though, maybe he kisses like a gentleman too.”

“Since when does kissing without tongue make it kissing like a gentleman?” Katniss asks, shaking her head. She knows Gale can’t see her confusion, but it doesn’t stop her from making faces at him through the phone anyway.

“Because,” Gale says, sounding exasperated. “He didn’t force himself, or his tongue, on you. That’s kissing like a gentleman.”

“Well I hope he doesn’t act like a gentleman all the time,” Katniss deadpans.

“Katniss Everdeen!” Gale gasps, feigning shock. “Seriously though…” His voice grows somber, “This guy is going to take you away from me isn’t he?”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Katniss says, hoping Gale knew how hard she was rolling her eyes at him right now. “Besides, I was never yours to begin with.”

“You know what I mean,” Gale sighs. “Even when you do date a guy, I’m normally your number one.”

“So it’s alright for you to find your knight in shining armor, but I’d better never find mine because you won’t be my number one anymore?” She speaks through her anger without thinking about what she is saying, never one to even hint at having the slightest interest in finding any knight in shining armor the way Gale always had.

“What did you just say?” Katniss imagined Gale’s jaw was on the floor, and she wishes she could take back that last retort she threw at him.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yes you did!” Gale shouts. Katniss moves the phone away from her ear and is still able to hear him. “You called him your knight in shining armor!”

“Can we just forget about that for a second so you can tell me what I should be wearing to this brunch?” Katniss sighs, putting the phone back to her ear.

“You suddenly forgot how to dress yourself?” Gale asks. “Or do you just want to impress him so badly that nothing seems to be good enough?”

“Both?” Katniss laughs. “I’ve got that green and blue scoop neck shirt and some dark jeans out right now. Is that too frumpy for brunch?”

“It’s not really about being frumpy or not, is it?” Gale points out. “You’re scared he’s going to see the real you and not be interested anymore.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m sorry I made you wear that Bumblebee dress last night,” Gale apologizes, sounding guilty. “Wear your normal clothes and if he doesn’t like you anymore I’ll kick his ass.”

“You’d better not be lying about that,” Katniss says with a smile.

“Cross my heart,” Gale promises. “Let’s have dinner tonight so we can talk about things in person. I need to tell you all about Neil.”

“Alright,” Katniss agrees. “I have to go now, he’ll be here soon and I’m not dressed yet.” When she hangs up with Gale, she looks at her all too brief text conversation with Peeta once more before getting dressed.

Why was she so nervous? She has never been this nervous to go out on a date before, but something in the back of her head continues to tell her that this was no ordinary date. It wasn’t the type of thing she normally did with anyone, let alone a male companion that wasn’t Gale. Drinks, dancing, and back to his place were the type of date she was used to, and even then, it was a rarity.

The sound of Peeta’s light knock on the door made her jump in the kitchen as she nervously put dishes away that had been drying in the dish rack. Leaving what was still in the rack where it was, she took a deep breath and patted her pocket to make sure her phone was there and then glanced at the end table by the door to make sure her purse was where she usually kept it.

She yanked the door open to see Peeta looking down at his shoes. His curls were more unruly than last night, lying haphazardly from the crown of his head to his forehead, while the hair at the nape of his neck curled out in different directions. As he looks up at Katniss he shakes his head slightly, causing his hair to fall to the side, just above his left eyebrow.

As promised, he has on a red Hawaiian shirt with white hibiscus flowers, light khaki pants, and the same black Chucks he wore last night. The way he smiles at Katniss instantly puts her at ease about her own outfit. He doesn’t look disappointed at all. In fact, he looks delighted.

“Hey, Katniss,” Peeta says standing frozen in the hallway. Katniss briefly sees the mint in his mouth as he moves it from one cheek to the other with his tongue and she can’t suppress the smile any more. She takes a step forward and opens her arms, initiating a hug that has all of the intensity of their kiss the night before, but with an added layer of nerves.

“Hey,” Katniss says, pulling away. Just like last night, she can’t stop herself from reaching out and dragging her fingers through his hair, tilting her head to the right and smiling. “Let me grab my purse and we can go, okay?”

“My car looks nicer in the dark,” Peeta warns her, jogging to the passenger side door and opening it.

“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” Katniss answers with a shrug. She takes her seat in the car, looking at the inside in the daylight. It’s not a bad car – a bit old, but it isn’t falling apart. The interior is light gray, and clean, and the dashboard almost shined. It makes Katniss feel like a slob thinking about her car’s dashboard that had a fine layer of dust settled on it because she never washed it more than once a year.

“What’s that?” Katniss asks, pointing to a Hello Kitty air freshener that is hanging from the rearview mirror. She hadn’t notice it in the dark, but she can see it now as plain as day.

“That,” he begins, waiting for the car to start before he continues, “Was a gift from a student last Christmas.” He looks over his shoulder and into his mirror once before pulling out into traffic. “After break she asked me if I had hung it up yet, and I felt so guilty that I ended up doing it that day after school let out, and I’ve felt too guilty to take it down since, so I just leave it there. She was proud of it. Apparently she picked it out all by herself,” He shrugs and gives Katniss a quick glance before turning his eyes back to the road. “It made a five year old happy, so who cares?”

“You teach five year olds?” Katniss asks. She knew he taught children, but he didn’t say they were that young.

“Kindergarten through third grade, five days a week,” Peeta answers proudly. Even though Katniss barely knew him, she couldn’t help but feel happy for him because he was clearly doing something that made him very happy. It was making her think about her job and how much she hated it. It was making her wonder if she would ever talk about her job and light up the way Peeta was right now while he talking about his.

Suddenly, the car grew silent and Katniss began to get nervous. What if their chemistry and easy conversation from the night before only lasted for the night? While the atmosphere in the car isn’t uncomfortable, she was still struggling to find things to say to Peeta.

“You look nervous,” Peeta says when they stop at a red light. Katniss watches his hand as it moves forward to grab and mint, unwrapping it expertly and popping it into his mouth. “You can have one if you want,” he offers, pointing to the collection of red and white peppermints stuffed into the two cup holders underneath the car’s stereo.

“You look nervous too,” Katniss points out, looking at the mints and back up at him. Peeta’s nervous laughter seems to break the tension slightly.

“Why are we nervous?” At that question, Katniss joins in on the laughter, unsure of why they are both acting so tense when less than twenty four hours ago they were talking as if they’d known each other their whole lives.

The sound of the car behind them honking is the only thing that breaks them out of the trance they both seem to be in staring at each other. Peeta tears his eyes away and focuses on the road again, driving the rest of the way to the restaurant with a smile on his face and a mint tucked into his cheek.

The brown gabled roof, champagne colored siding, and brown trim on the windows makes the restaurant look more like a house than a place to eat. Katniss likes it, and even though she has seen this place in passing, she never considered eating here. She and Gale stuck to the same few places that they were familiar with, rarely venturing outside of that.

Katniss and Peeta look at their menus after being seated, and try to decide on exactly what to have. Peeta is the first to put down his menu, smiling wide and folding his hands over the laminated paper that listed the day’s brunch specials.

“What can I get you two to drink?” A waitress asks after she approaches their table.

“I’ll go with orange juice, please,” Katniss says, looking to Peeta and waiting for him to order.

“Hot tea, please.”

“So, you’re a tea drinking kind of guy?” Katniss asks once the waitress has cleared out.

“Yeah, coffee makes me gag.”

“But we just had coffee last night,” Katniss says suspiciously. She narrows her eyes at him and waits for his answer.

“I know,” Peeta chuckles and then shrugs; he knows he’s been caught. “Going out for coffee was the only thing I could think of on the spot when I was trying to think of ways to spend more time with you.”

“Well if we’re being honest, I don’t like coffee very much either,” Katniss admits. “I usually only drink it on days I can’t keep my eyes open at my desk at work.”

“And let me tell you, it was really difficult to not gag in your face last night,” Katniss observes the way his posture is changing as the conversation goes on. His hands are in his lap as he leaned over the table and whispered his previous sentence through the grin that was beginning to spread across his face. His eyes have a new clarity as he stares at her.

“I might have been offended,” Katniss jokes.

“Note to self: No more coffee,” Peeta smiles and finally drops his gaze, focusing then on the menu in front of him again. “Do you know what you’re going to order yet?”

“I was thinking waffles,” Katniss answers as she looks down at her own menu. She hears Peeta laugh again, and looks up to see what is so funny this time.

“Would you think less of me if I ordered the same thing? I’ve been dying for some waffles that aren’t frozen from a box that says Eggo on it for weeks now,” Peeta explains.

“Of course not,” Katniss says, shaking her head. “You can order whatever you want.”

“And the tiny bagels, I want some of those too. Will you share them with me?” Peeta asks, shaping his thumb and middle finger into a circle as he speaks. “I won’t be able to finish them all myself.”

“As long as you get cream cheese for them too,” Katniss replies.

“Deal.”

The waitress comes back a few minutes later, setting their drinks on the table and pulling her notepad from the front pocket of the brown restaurant apron tied around her waist. She looks at Peeta first, who puts his hand up and motions for Katniss to go first.

“I’ll take the Belgian waffles,” Katniss says, pointing to the words on the menu before handing it over to the waitress.

“Whipped cream and strawberries?”

“No, just syrup is fine,” Katniss shakes her head, the waitress then looks back to Peeta and waits for his order.

“I’ll have the same, but yes to the whipped cream and strawberries,” He shrugs when Katniss looks at him. “Hey, I don’t get this often, I’m going all out,” He turns his attention back to the waitress to finish ordering, “And a basket of the mini-bagels, with cream cheese.”

“I’m glad you wore a Hawaiian shirt today,” Katniss says breaking the silence that had fallen over the table after the waitress left to put in their order. Peeta’s reaction isn’t what she was expecting. His face drops and fear is suddenly apparent in his eyes.

“I didn’t tell you how nice you look today, did I?” Peeta asks, sounding ashamed.

“Don’t worry about it,” Katniss replies shaking her head, but Peeta doesn’t seem satisfied by it. He sighs deeply, bringing his hand to his hair and pulling his fingers through it nervously.

“No, I wanted to. I was going to, but then that car beeped at me,” Peeta rambles before taking a breath. “You look _really_ nice today.” His voice is still shaky. “You looked nice last night too, but you look more comfortable like this.”

Katniss isn’t sure why he is so upset for forgetting to tell her she looked nice, but she smiles at him in hopes it will put him at ease and let him know she isn’t upset about it.

“I’m not really one for dressing up; Gale made me wear that outfit,” She is relieved when she hears Peeta finally laugh.

“Well you know what my brother did to me,” Peeta says, grabbing his Hawaiian shirt and pulling it. “You really like it? Most people don’t.”

“I really like it,” Katniss nods. “I like the red,” She stops herself before she says something stupid about how nice it makes the color of his hair look, and decides to take the conversation in a different direction. “The red though… I hope it doesn’t mean you’re going to die by the end of the day.”

“Was that a Star Trek joke?” Peeta asks, dumbfounded.

“Not if you’re going to hold it against me.”

“I’d never hold it against you -- I think it’s awesome that you know that,” He reaches out across the table, putting his hand up for Katniss to high-five.

Their food arrives a short time later, and Katniss can’t seem to keep her eyes off of Peeta’s plate. When he notices, he offers her half of his whipped cream and strawberries, picking up his plate and scooping them off onto Katniss’ waffles. They mostly stay silent as they eat, speaking only to comment on how good the food is, and when Peeta finishes his waffles and pushes his plate away from him, he follows it up with a mint, but not because of nerves.

“Can you spare a mint? I’m not going to be the only one walking around with waffle breath,” Katniss asks.

“Sure, you can have one whenever you want,” Peeta answers, fishing a second mint from his pocket and handing it to Katniss. “Ready for the museum?”

\---

“Wait here,” Peeta says after he parks the car. He gets out quickly, and Katniss watches him in the mirrors as he walks around the to the passenger side, putting another mint in his mouth as he moves.

He opens Katniss’ door and puts his hand out, willing her to take it. As she places her hand in his, he pulls her up and out of the car gently; Katniss notices immediately how soft and comfortable his hand feels in her own and tightens her grip on him, silently asking him not to let go – instead, he laces their fingers together as they begin to walk in the direction of the museum hand-in-hand.

“Have you talked to Gale yet today?” Peeta asks. “I talked to Neil before I left for your apartment. He really likes Gale.” Katniss smiles at the revelation, and isn’t sure how to tell Peeta that she did in fact talk to Gale this morning, but it was mostly about him and the way he kissed.

“I talked to him this morning when I wasn’t sure how to dress for the day.” Peeta stops walking and uses his grip on Katniss’ hand to spin her to face him.

“I don’t care about your clothes, Katniss.” Peeta assures her. “I came and talked to you because there was just something about you that drew me in. I don’t approach women in bars like that; Neil can back me up on it. I approached you because I was drawn to _you_ , not your outfit,” He points at Katniss, and lets the tip of his finger come to rest just where the scoop neck of her shirt ends and her skin begins and he lets it linger, taking a moment to lightly drag his finger across the skin before pulling his it away abruptly and resuming their walk to the museum, leaving a trail of heat across Katniss’ skin where his finger had traced.

“I _am_ having dinner with Gale tonight,” Katniss speaks up a few minutes later. “When a date with a guy goes well, it’s dinner. If it’s a bad date, we go out for drinks.”

“That’s good information to know,” Peeta smiles.

“He sounded very smitten on the phone too this morning,” Katniss adds. “I hope your brother is ready for the likes of Gale Hawthorne. He’s looking for his knight in shining armor, and he takes that very seriously.”

“Ahh, a romantic,” Peeta says with a nod. “Don’t worry -- Neil is looking for his too.”

Inside the museum, Peeta walks ahead slightly; still holding on to Katniss’ hand as he leads her to an exhibit he says he has to show her.

“This is why I wanted to come here today,” Peeta says as he continues to walk. “I could have come alone, but I thought it would be nice to have company with me for once,” He stops and turns, coming to rest in front of a wall of what looks like pencil drawings, but with much more detail.

“Wow,” Katniss says, staring at the detailed pictures.

“These are etchings by John Taylor Arms,” Peeta tells her. Katniss squeezes his hand again, urging him to continue. “He was an architect, and spent a lot of his career documenting Europe’s Gothic churches.”

“They’re so detailed,” Katniss notes while squinting to see some of the finer points of the etchings.

“He used magnifying glasses and sewing needles to get a lot of the details.”

“They’re incredible. Can you do anything like this?” Katniss asks.

“I had to do some etchings in college, but they were nothing like this.”

“What is your _specialty_ then?” Katniss says, unsure of how else to word it.

“I paint,” Peeta answers. “Realistic portraits and landscapes, mostly. You know, people, places, events… that kind of thing.”

“So not those strange jumbled messes that I see when I look at some paintings?” Katniss laughs.

“No, nothing like that,” Peeta confirms. “It’s not all I do, but that’s my favorite.”

“They sound interesting,” Katniss says. She isn’t sure if she should invite herself to see them some time, so she doesn’t. She decides to give Peeta’s hand another squeeze to try and convey her interest in his work instead.

\---

Back at Katniss’ apartment, Peeta walks her to the door again, taking both of her hands in his and smiling nervously when they stop walking.

“Are you going to need a mint?” Katniss asks, trying her best to embrace Peeta’s quirk.

“I’m trying really hard not to grab one right now,” Peeta replies, jutting his tongue out and quickly licking his bottom lip, which causes  Katniss to say the next thing.

“Then don’t think about it, just kiss me.”

Peeta leans in quickly, capturing Katniss’ top lip between his own. He lets go of her hand so he can touch her cheek. The kiss is soft and lingering, but the intensity compared to the night before has increased considerably. With his hand still on her cheek, he sets his forehead against hers and breaks the kiss.

“You like pizza, right?” Peeta whispers, causing Katniss to laugh. That wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. “Pepperoni and olives? That’s what you said last night, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Katniss confirms, tangling her fingers in the back of Peeta’s hair to keep him close.

“Meet me for pizza Monday night?” Peeta asks. When Katniss nods he places another soft kiss on her mouth before pulling away. “I’ll text you the address and we’ll figure out a time,” he adds.

“Thank you for a great afternoon,” Katniss says, still holding tight to Peeta’s idle hand.

“Thank _you_ for going with me,” With that, he finally breaks free from Katniss’ hold. “I’ll text you later.”

With a soft goodbye, he turns and leaves, leaving Katniss standing in the apartment hallway once again, watching him walk away. She is beside herself, between his charm and the way he takes charge when planning dates, she’d never met anyone like Peeta, and she was loving it.

\---

“Can I get a side of cauliflower with that?” Gale says to the waitress at dinner that night. “And some cheese sauce?”

“You sure can,” The waitress answers, popping her gum and winking before she saunters off.

“That one needs some Gaydar,” Gale laughs, shaking his head. “So where was I?” For the last half hour, Gale has been talking about nothing but Neil. The way he laughed, and smiled, and smelled. He didn’t miss a single detail.

“Neil is a very animated story teller.” Katniss reminds him.

“Right! So he was telling me this story about being in the bakery when he was a kid… did you know his family are bakers?” Gale asks, talking a mile a minute.

“Yes,” Katniss rolls her eyes. “They’re Peeta’s family too, remember?”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting they’re brothers. This is too weird!” Katniss wants to tell him to shut up and continue his story. She wants to hear if Peeta is part of this childhood story, but she doesn’t know how to say it without it being obvious. “Anyway, Neil and Peeta...” Katniss smiles hearing Peeta’s name and listens more intently now that she knows the story is also about him. “They sprayed lemon Pledge all over the floor of the bakery and took their shoes off to slide across the floor like it was their own personal ice skating rink.”

“How old were they?” Katniss asks, laughing at the image of a young Peeta, sliding across the floor of a bakery in his socks.

“Neil said he was about six, so Peeta was even younger than that,” Gale explains. “But Katniss, you had to see him tell this story. He didn’t just tell it, he acted it out. And the impression he did of his mother nearly killed me,” Gale is gushing, and Katniss isn’t surprised by it. It’s common for Gale to gush after having one good date with a guy. It certainly didn’t make them soul mates, and most of the time Katniss sat across from him while he carried on and rolled her eyes at how ridiculous he sounded.

Today was different, though. Today she wants to follow up his gushing with some of her own. Maybe she can tell him a little bit about Peeta’s paintings, or his knowledge of the artist whose exhibit he took her to see that afternoon, but she waits, letting Gale tell her all about the brother of the man she wants to gush about.

“He’s a really great guy, Katniss,” Gale says finally.

“He sounds like it… so is Peeta,” Katniss adds.

“That’s right! You had another date with him today,” Gale swirls his straw around in his Coke before taking a sip. “How was it?”

“Would saying it was incredible make me sound as douchey and you just sounded a minute ago?” Katniss teases. 

“Embrace your inner douche, Katniss. So it was incredible, but why was it incredible?”

“I don’t know,” Katniss shrugs. “He was just… sweet and in control of everything. He actually planned a day for us.”

“Unlike those other assholes you’ve dated that can’t come up with a date beyond budgeting how much it’ll cost to get you drunk enough drop your pants,” Gale nods, understanding exactly what Katniss was trying to say but always being able to say it better.

“And he’s planning a date for Monday night. He wants to take me out for pizza,” Katniss says unable to suppress the grin anymore.

“Did he kiss you again today?” Gale asks as he props his head on his chin.

“He did,” Katniss confirms. “No tongue again, but it was longer and so much hotter.” She sighs as she remembers it, quickly clearing her throat when she realizes that she was starting to act too much like Gale for her liking.

“I’ve never seen you act like this over a guy,” Gale says then. “And you’ve only been on two dates.”

“I have no idea what’s wrong with me,” Katniss replies. She feels embarrassed for acting like this in front of Gale, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Katniss. He must be something special, and you shouldn’t be embarrassed by feeling something for him,” Over the years, Katniss could never imagine a time when she would actually feel at ease when Gale started talking about feelings and romance. But tonight, sitting in this small restaurant, everything he was saying resonated with her for the first time.

“You’re making sense to me right now, and I don’t know if I like that,” Gale’s laugh causes Katniss to laugh with him.

“He still hasn’t gotten my approval yet, so don’t go falling in love with him until I can size him up for myself,” Gale warns. “And don’t give me that shit about being a big girl; I’ve seen the guys you’ve dated.”

“Well Peeta is nothing like those guys,” Katniss says.

“We should do a double date sometime,” Gale suggests.

“Let’s hold off on that for a little bit so we can make sure you still like Neil in a week,” As romantic as Gale is, he is also very fickle and what one day seems like Mr. Right to Gale ends up becoming Mr. Wrong just as quickly. “And let me have a few more dates with Peeta on my own before you try to scare him.”

“Fine,” Gale says looking down into his Coke and stirring it with his straw again. “Go have your pizza with Mr. Wonderful, but you better call me as soon as it’s over and tell me about it.”

 


	3. Find Your Tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks so much to everyone that has reviewed! I try to answer every review that I get, but sometimes I lose my place, so if you reviewed and I didn't respond, it's nothing personal. I'll try better this time :)
> 
> I also wanted to mention that this story WILL get smutty, hence the M rating. I wanted to give that heads up now before I suddenly throw readers into a full on smutty chapter.
> 
> Enjoy chapter 3!

“This place is like an actual pizza parlor,” Katniss says as she stands in front of the ordering counter with Peeta. She stares at the simple menu that is fastened to the upper wall just above the long, rectangular, steel ovens. Peeta chuckles at her amazement.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been here,” Peeta moves next to her, bringing his hand to rest in the middle of her back before beginning to rub small circles. “Although, I guess not many come here at all anymore,” he adds, looking around at the deserted dining area. “It’s a shame -- this place has the best pizza I’ve ever eaten.”

They order one large pepperoni and olive pizza with extra cheese and move to get their drinks before heading to the dining area and choosing a small, red booth that can comfortably seat one on each side. The table cloth has a red and white checkered design, and against the wall of the booth are shakers of parmesan cheese and red pepper flakes.

“This is so cliché,” Katniss notes when she sits down. “Normally, I don’t like cliché, but this is awesome.”

“I don’t either,” Peeta says as he sets napkins and plates in the center of the table. “But every time I come here I want to go to a drive in movie afterward.”

“Have you managed to find one of those hidden somewhere too?” Katniss asks.

“I have,” Peeta smiles, “But it’s 40 miles away. It has never seemed worth it to make the trip – nobody I’ve ever known was interested in doing something like that. It would feel weird to go alone.”

“Well, I’m interested,” Katniss reveals. Peeta’s smile lights up his face, and he nods as he lets the information sink in.

“Then we’ll have to go. I’ve been trying to get someone to go with me since college,” He says.

“What was college like for you?” Katniss asks, tearing the paper from her straw and dropping it into the red pebbled cup in front of her.

“Not so bad,” Peeta starts. “The classes were interesting. The people, though? Not so much.”

“Sorry,” Katniss apologizes, looking down at the table.

“It’s alright; I’ve never hidden that I couldn’t find much in common with any of the people there. I couldn’t even relate to the art people like me. It just felt like it didn’t matter what you were there for, after your classes were done for the day everyone became a partier, and I never was, at least not at those kind of parties, so it was difficult to find people that I could call friends. I had a lot of acquaintances, though.”

“Were you an art major?” Katniss asks.

“I started out as a general art major, yeah,” Peeta begins. “Then I changed to art education just before my sophomore year.”

“What made you switch?”

“The summer after freshman year, I volunteered to teach a basic art class for toddlers at the library, and it hit me over the course of the summer that this was something that I really enjoyed doing.”

“Teaching children,” Katniss says out loud. Peeta nods at her.

“Nothing has ever felt so right,” He says, stopping briefly to look at her. “Well, almost nothing.”

Katniss can feel her cheeks heat up under his gaze, but she can’t seem to get herself to look away. She clears her throat and tries to speak, but can’t think of anything else to ask, either. Thankfully, Peeta begins to speak again after a minute of silence and staring.

“It probably sounds silly. I mean, it was a volunteer program for 2-3 year olds, but I really felt in my element there.”

“I don’t think it sounds silly,” Katniss finally manages to speak, though her voice sounds uneven.

“After I graduated, I got my teaching certificate that summer and an internship that fall. I interned for a year, did teacher’s assistant subbing around the school district for the next year and then got my full time position at the start of this current school year.”

“So this is your first year teaching alone?” Katniss says with a smile.

“I’m a rookie,” Peeta confirms.

“That’s impressive,” Katniss admits. “It makes my story sound even worse than it already is.”

“Try me,” Peeta says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“There isn’t much to tell,” Katniss begins. “I lasted one semester in college and dropped out.”

“What happened?” Peeta asks gently.

“It just wasn’t for me. I couldn’t imagine loving something so much that I would spend another four years in school learning about it, and the rest of my life working in that field, so I just decided it’d be better for me to go into the real world and make a living earlier than everyone else around me.”

“What about music?” Peeta mentions, and Katniss is floored that he actually remembered what she told him about how she would be a singer if she could do anything in life.

“Music doesn’t pay the bills,” Katniss reminds him.

“Yeah, but music education does.”

“So I should follow in your footsteps?” Katniss snaps. “You teach art, I teach music and we live happily ever after?” Peeta’s eyes widen at her sudden change in demeanor, and he puts his hands up in mock surrender.

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it; I was just giving a suggestion. Every time you talk about your job you sound miserable, I just think you should so something that makes you happy.”

“Well you hardly know me,” Katniss says, her voice still defensive.

“You’re right -- I don’t, so why should you listen to me? I’m sorry; I wasn’t trying to tell you what to do.”

“It’s fine,” Katniss sighs. “I’m just so sick and tired of people acting like my job doesn’t matter because I didn’t go to college.”

“Your job matters plenty,” Peeta tells her. “I have a college degree and my family, my mother mostly, doesn’t seem to think my job matters at all. It matters to me though, and it doesn’t make me miserable like working at that bakery for the rest of my life would, so I try to ignore it.”

Just then, a woman walks toward their table holding a pizza stand with the pan of pizza resting on top. She sets it down in front of them along with a long, steel spatula and tells them to enjoy their meal before walking back in the direction of the kitchen. As Peeta dishes out the pizza to their plates, he begins to speak again.

“Did you get your current job right after you left college?”

“No,” Katniss says, sprinkling parmesan on her pizza. “I worked in retail at first.”

“Ouch, I’m sorry,” Peeta says with a grimace.

“I also had roommates from hell. Kind of like your college buddies. They were all business by day, partiers by night,” She explains. “And I’m not a partier either, though Gale will try and tell you otherwise.”

“We’ll save that for another night,” Peeta laughs. “What did your parents think about you not going to college? Mine would have disowned me, despite the fact that they expected me to graduate and come work for them anyway.”

“They were supportive,” Katniss says. “After a year, when it was clear I didn’t want to go back, they let me have the money they put away for my college fund. It wasn’t much, and it probably would have only gotten me through a year of school at most, but it was something.”

“Did you finally get away from your roommates with it?”

“No,” Katniss shakes her head. “I gave it to Prim.”

“Prim,” Peeta says, as though he’s trying to remember. “That’s your sister, right?”

“Yes,” Katniss nods. “I figured she’d need it more than me. Especially with how long she’s going to be in school. She was able to go to school full time and not need a job to help with tuition for the first year because of it, so I think it went to good use.”

“I can’t believe you did that for your sister.”

“You wouldn’t do it for Neil?” Katniss asks.

“To be honest? Probably not,” Peeta replies. “I love my brother, but if my parents gave me that kind of money I could be driving in a car right now that isn’t 11 years old.”

“I can understand that,” Katniss says. “I just used public transportation for a while. I got my job with Medical Mutual after a year in retail. After I got a salary increase after being there for a year, that’s when I finally decided I could afford an apartment on my own. No more roommates from Hell.”

“Why didn’t you just live with Gale?” Peeta asks.

“No, no,” Katniss laughs and shakes her head. “We would’ve killed each other. Now, when we start to get on each other’s nerves, we can just go home. It would have been a disaster if we had to live in the same apartment and not have space of our own beyond our bedrooms.”

“Point made,” Peeta laughs.

“Now, I have a place of my own and an eternity of pushing papers, but time at the end of the day to play Guitar Hero in my underwear,” Peeta’s eyes widen at her statement, and suddenly Katniss realizes what she just said to him. She’s just about to try and cover her mistake when Peeta begins to speak.

“I LOVE Guitar Hero!” He exclaims, smiling and shifting in his booth seat. He seems to be ignoring the underwear comment and Katniss can’t be more relieved. “How are you at _Through the Fire and Flames_?”

“Not that great,” Katniss confesses. “I can play it on medium, but only with hyper speed set to 5. I get confused when the colors are too close together. What about you?”

“Sometimes I can get through it on expert, but just barely.”

“Well aren’t you a nimble one?” Katniss teases.

“I haven’t played since college though -- I had to sell my X-Box and games.” Peeta says with a shrug. “Bills.”

“I’m sorry,” Katniss says.

“Do you play a lot of video games, or just Guitar Hero?”

“I like Skyrim,” Katniss answers. Peeta’s smile tells her that he does too. “I play whatever is fun, though I’m not big on the war games that are all the rage lately.”

“Like Call of Duty and stuff?”

“Yeah, but I do like World of Warcraft a lot,” Katniss says.

“Now you’re just lying to me,” Peeta says, mouth hanging open.

“I’m not! I just got my Draenei Mage to 85 a few weeks ago,” Katniss answers proudly.

“You’re ridiculous,” Peeta shakes his head. “I haven’t played that since college either. Had to sell my computer, too, so my account has been frozen for years. All of my game playing is done at Neil’s now when there is time.”

“What did you play?”

“I have an Undead Rogue that I got as far as level 42 before I stopped playing. It was hard to find time to play with classes and a part time job, but I did love to play when I got the chance.”

“I never really tell people that I play,” Katniss admits. “The few times I did people looked at me funny and asked if I was the kind of player that ditched work and stayed up for 4 days straight playing, then they tried to tell me it would ruin my life, so I just stopped telling people about it.”

“That’s stupid,” Peeta says. “It’s just fun to play during free time. Not everyone takes it to the extreme.”

“Yeah, I know, but if it doesn’t involve a party and a label that says Budweiser, they won’t understand it.” Peeta’s laugh is so loud and from the gut that Katniss can’t help but grin at him like a fool. Remembering his comment from earlier, about almost nothing but teaching having ever felt so right, and the look he gave her after he said it, Katniss tries to think but can’t come up with a time where anything in her own life ever felt this right.

The same woman who brought their pizza out to them comes back with the receipt, and asks if they’d like to take the rest of the pizza home with them, leaving quickly to grab a box for the food while Peeta looks over the check.

“Let me pay for half of it,” Katniss says. After learning that Peeta had to sell his X-Box and laptop to make ends meet, she feels bad that he has paid for the last two dates and is about to pay for a third. She can pay her share, and she doesn’t want him to feel like he has to do these things for her in order to impress her.

“No, I got it,” Peeta waves her off, pulling out his wallet. “I invited, I pay,” He throws the money on the table and sets the tip under the shaker of red pepper flakes. “Do you want your mint?” He asks, pointing to the two mints that were set on top of the receipt in the tray.

“No thanks,” Katniss shakes her head, still feeling bad that he paid for the entire meal again, but she can’t help but laugh when Peeta quickly swipes the mints from the tray and shoves them in his pocket. He stands up and puts his hand out for Katniss to take and he pulls her from the booth the same way he pulled her up and out of his car before the museum the other day.

They walk hand in hand to Katniss’ car silently, enjoying the warm air that indicates a quickly approaching summer. When they reach the car, Katniss turns around to face Peeta standing in front of her.

“So, if you count our unofficial date to the diner, this is our third date,” Peeta says, keeping Katniss’ fingers linked with his, but reaching back to place the pizza box on the hood of her car with his other hand.

“That’s very true,” Katniss nods, smiling. She wants to reach out and touch his hair again, she wants to touch his hair all the time – slip both of her hands up to his head and tangle all of her fingers through the loose curls that seem to have a mind of their own, but she doesn’t. She continues to watch Peeta, whose mouth is surprisingly empty right now. He hasn’t even reached for his pocket full of mints all night.

He abandoned the Hawaiian shirt tonight and instead showed up in a gray t-shirt with a picture of a Stormtrooper and the words _“Support our troops”_ written underneath it, along with dark jeans and the same black Chucks he’s been in since the day they met. Katniss wonders if they’re the only shoes he owns, or if he just really likes them.

“Well, I don’t know if you have any rules about this, but I feel that things are going really well,” Peeta shifts his weight quickly, looking down at his pocket before shaking his head and looking back up at Katniss. “And I was just wondering if you, you know, wanted to make this official or something.”

It wasn’t the smoothest way a guy could ask someone to be his girlfriend, but she has to give Peeta credit. He’s the only guy that has ever asked her to make things official. The others always assumed. And the fact that he didn’t grab for a mint the entire time was more reason to give him credit.

“What’s does ‘or something’ entail?” Katniss jokes, grabbing the front of Peeta’s t-shirt and pulling him closer. Finally he is close enough so she can touch his hair. She runs her hand through the unruly mop quietly, pulling her hand down across his cheek. He looks up at her with sad eyes, and she realizes that she hasn’t answered him yet. With her grip still on his shirt, she pulls him even closer to her, moving up to align their lips. Hovering over his mouth, she whispers, “That’s a yes.”

She stands taller and places a hurried kiss on Peeta’s mouth, pulling back and staring at him. She watches his eyes as they change rapidly – relief, happiness, and something else she can’t quite figure out. His breathing is ragged as he looks fixedly back at her, and then his body, and his mouth, is on her, gently pushing her back against the car. He places his hands on the top of the door on either side of her as he secures her lip between his and bites gently, and so briefly, that Katniss isn’t sure he truly did it. He pulls away with an audible sigh and immediately reaches into his pocket, losing his fight with the mints that have been taunting him since they entered the parking lot.

“Sorry,” Peeta says after he’s come to his senses.

“Don’t apologize, you’re allowed to kiss me whenever you want,” Katniss says, patting his chest. “It’s still really early, you know…” Peeta looks at his watch and nods. “I have an X-Box at my apartment, and all of the Guitar Hero games. Want to come over and play for a bit? It might be fun to finally have a partner that enjoys the game as much as I do.”

“I don’t know,” Peeta says as he looks back at his car like it’ll give him a reason not to go. Katniss can’t help but notice how distant he has become since their kiss ended and she wonders if maybe he is getting the wrong idea from her invitation.

“I just want to play the game with you, Peeta. Maybe have a beer,” Katniss assures him. “I want to see you try to play _Through the Fire and Flames_ on expert.” He laughs at that and crunches the mint between his teeth.

“Alright,” he nods. “And I hope you mean it about the beer.”

“I have a fridge full,” Katniss smiles. “And we have leftover pizza. Just follow me in your car. The apartment next to me is vacant, so you should be able to get away with parking in that spot. It’s right next to mine, 2B.” Peeta nods again at her instructions and reaches over, opening Katniss’ door and watching her get in, handing her the pizza box after she is seated. When he closes the door, he turns on the spot and begins to walk toward his own car to follow Katniss to her apartment.

Peeta looks nervous when he walks into the apartment. His hand is in his pocket immediately, grabbing a mint and removing the wrapper. He stands in the living room while Katniss moves to the kitchen to put the pizza away.

“You can sit down, you know,” Katniss calls from the kitchen. “You want that beer now?”

“Yes,” Peeta calls back. “Please.” Katniss is peeking out of the pass through window in kitchen as Peeta sits down on the couch and looks around. The couch is black suede with two cushions and it’s pushed up against a single red wall that is surrounded by two white walls, one to his right and another straight in front of him where the TV is set on top of a small stand with three sections. The first is full of games in the familiar, green, X-Box cases. The second, a cable box, and the third is the X-Box itself.

Katniss returns a moment later holding two beers. She hands one to Peeta and sets hers down on the glass coffee table in front of Peeta’s knees.

“Don’t worry about coasters,” Katniss says, walking to the corner of the living room and pulling out the plastic guitars. “Did you want to play head to head?”

“Sure, that’s fine,” Peeta nods. He sets his beer down next to Katniss’ and scoots back on the couch, rubbing his hands over his jeans and clutching his knees. “I didn’t really imagine you’d have a living room like this.”

“I wouldn’t normally, but Gale got a little design happy.”

“Oh, is he a decorator?” Peeta asks.

“No,” Katniss laughs loudly, handing a guitar to Peeta. “He’s an electrical engineer; he’s just obsessed with HGTV and thinks he’s Vern Yip.” She walks over to the TV stand and grabs a game, showing it to Peeta. “Have you played the newest game yet?”

“No, I haven’t played much since _World Tour_.” Peeta answers.

“Well, it’s not exactly new anymore. It’s been out since 2010, but this is the last one they made. Want to try it out?”

“Sure,” Peeta smiles and takes swig of beer. Katniss sees him melt into the couch a little more, clearly starting to relax.

“Actually, wait,” Katniss says. “I’m putting on _Guitar Hero III_ first -- I want to see you try _Through the Fire and Flames_ on expert, remember?”

“You’re really going to torture me like this?” Peeta whines.

“You shouldn’t have said you could play it on expert. Get ready,” Katniss turns around without waiting for Peeta to respond and puts the game in, moving around the coffee table and sitting next to him on the couch and watches as he bypasses all of the startup menus and finds the song.

“Do I have to do the whole song?” Peeta asks.

“No, I won’t torture you that badly,” Katniss assures him. “I just want to see how it’s done.”

Peeta nods and selects the song, sitting quietly while they wait for it to load. The drum stick countdown begins and Katniss stares at Peeta instead of the screen as he hits the strum bar once and throws his hand up to the neck of the plastic guitar, frantically hitting buttons in correspondence to the colors on the screen. When the intro of the song finishes, he quickly moves his hand back down to the strum bar and continues the song for a couple of minutes.

“Can I stop now?” He asks, continuing to hit the notes.

“Fine,” Katniss says and he puts the game on pause, taking his hands off of the guitar and flexing them.

“That gets painful,” Peeta laughs.

“That’s really amazing,” Katniss nods in approval. If she had more to drink or wasn’t so confused by Peeta’s nerves since their kiss in the parking lot, this is when she would mention that she’d like to see what else he could do with those fingers. Instead, she gets up from the couch and switches games without another word.

They play head to head for almost an hour, going back and forth with every song, evenly matched with skill simply because Peeta has never played these songs before. Katniss knows that if he had been familiar with these songs, he would have mopped the floor with her.

The leftover pizza box sits open on the coffee table; bits of crust litter the inside along with their empty beer bottles.

“Let’s make this one a tie breaker,” Katniss challenges. “Whoever wins gets to choose what we play next.”

“Alright,” Peeta smiles. “I wish I didn’t have class in the morning, I’d ask for another beer and just call a cab to bring me home.”

“You take that one beer and driving rule of yours very seriously, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Peeta nods. “I have no interest in a DUI, I’m a teacher.” Katniss understands, which is why she doesn’t argue and try to convince him to have more, but she also wishes he’d have another beer or two so he could loosen up and not be so nervous. She pushes the thought to the back of her mind as they get ready to play the tie breaker song.

Peeta wins easily, and Katniss shakes her head at his smug look.

“So let’s play band mode now,” Peeta says, taking advantage of the terms of their game. “I want to hear you sing,” Katniss stops in her tracks at Peeta’s request.

“No way,” She shakes her head, folding her arms over her chest.

“Come on,” Peeta coaxes. “You made me play that damn song, now I want to hear you sing.”

“Peeta…”

“It’s just like karaoke,” Peeta points out.

Katniss contemplates his request. She did ask him to play something for her earlier, so it was only fair that she return the favor now. And he’s right, it is just like karaoke. It wasn’t like he was asking her to sing him an original song a capella.

“I just don’t normally sing for anyone,” Katniss says. She’s not arguing anymore. She is simply being honest.

“You’ve never sang for any of your ex-boyfriends before?” Peeta’s question reminds her of the decision they made earlier. Peeta was her boyfriend now, and while she has never sang for boyfriends before, she suddenly wants to sing for Peeta.

“No,” Katniss shakes her head. “But let’s do it,” she smiles at him and he beams back at her. “You can pick the song.”

As Peeta looks through the list of songs, Katniss finds the microphone for the game in a basket that is also set down in the corner of the room near the guitars. She plugs it in and goes and sits back next to Peeta on the couch.

“How about this one? I tried to find one with a female singer,” Peeta says. He has the song “Again” by Flyleaf highlighted and Katniss shrugs, wanting to get this over with.

“That’s fine,” Katniss says nervously.

“You can at least take solace in the fact that since I’ll be playing too, I won’t be staring at you while you sing like you stared at me while I played earlier,” Katniss’ cheeks grow warm for the second time that night. He noticed her staring.

They load the song and get ready. Peeta is perched at the edge of the couch, guitar propped on his thigh, and Katniss sits further behind against the back of the couch so Peeta can’t sneak any glances at her while she’s singing.

Katniss stares at the green line as it moves across the screen and the words _“Get Ready!”_ pop up just before the vocals enter. Peeta keeps his eyes fixed on the screen as he plays the notes, not breaking his focus once when Katniss begins to sing.

At first, Katniss can hear her heart beating in her ears, but as the song goes on, and Peeta doesn’t call attention to her singing, she relaxes and even begins to have fun. Before the song ends, she scoots closer to the edge of the couch and plants her feet on the floor, mimicking Peeta’s position.

When the song finishes, Peeta still stares at the screen that now simply displays their scores and accuracy percentage. His shoulders are moving heavily with each breath he takes. When he turns to face Katniss, his mouth is hanging open slightly, and his eyes are clouded over with the same unreadable expression from the parking lot.

“That was beautiful,” Peeta says. “Why are you so embarrassed to sing in front of people?”

Katniss doesn’t answer – she puts her head down and looks at her feet on the floor, but she can still feel Peeta’s eyes boring into her.

“Come here,” Peeta says. His is voice low.

“What?” Katniss looks up at Peeta -- his eyes are fixed on her so intently that it makes her shiver.

“Come here,” he says again. Katniss turns her body toward Peeta’s and moves closer to him. He reaches out, snaking his hand behind her neck and pulls her mouth to his quickly, kissing her deeply. He pulls back, opens his eyes, and takes a second to rub his nose against hers.

He moves in again, but this time, he pokes his tongue out from between his lips and lightly drags it across Katniss’ bottom lip. Katniss opens her mouth and moves her own tongue out, meeting his before pulling back and wrapping her mouth around his, sucking gently.

Back and forth they tease each other with their tongues and mouths, alternating between kisses and swirling their tongues around each other, tasting each other. Peeta pulls away first, keeping his hand firmly planted on the back of Katniss’ neck as he sucks on his lips and hums a sound of satisfaction from the back of his throat. Then he is pulling her to him again, closer this time as his mouth covers hers and he slips his tongue in deeper than before as though he is content to explore every inch of her mouth.

Katniss lets him explore, willingly surrendering and giving him the lead. He’s less nervous like this – these rare moments where he lets himself behave exactly how he wants to. She can feel the heat growing deep in her stomach and she tangles her fingers in the cowlick at the crown of his head, pulling his head back, and her mouth from his so she can trail a small line of kisses down his neck, but he pulls her back up and claims her lips again.

He pulls away unexpectedly, taking his hand from Katniss’ neck and pulling her hands from his hair.

“What’s wrong?” Katniss asks, observing the way his face looks nervous again.

“I should probably go now,” he answers, rubbing his palms against his jeans again.

“You don’t have to,” Katniss says, standing up to walk after Peeta when he jumps up from the couch as though it just caught fire.

“Yes I do,” he says, grabbing for the doorknob. “Class in the morning,” He turns around after he pulls the door open and looks at Katniss from the doorway. “Thanks for inviting me over.”

“It was fun,” Katniss says, though her statement sounds more confused than anything.

“I’ll call you tomorrow during lunch, okay?” Peeta says with a nod, lifting his eyebrow as if he is urging her to agree and not be upset.

“Sure,” Katniss nods in return, eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Bye,” he says with a wave, turning quickly and walking to the steps. Katniss closes the door and throws herself onto the couch, bringing her knees up to her chest. Why did he suddenly get so distant again? It was the second time it happened that night, and both times it felt more like he did it on purpose rather than being naturally shy.

She grabs her purse off of the table next to the couch and fishes her phone out, pulling up her text conversation with Gale. She promised that she would tell him about her evening and she still was going to, but she also needed his advice.

She types _“Call me,”_ into her phone and sends it to Gale. She is going to give him 15 minutes to call and if he doesn’t, she’s silencing her phone and going to bed.

He calls two minutes later.

“What were you waiting by your phone or something?” Katniss asks when she picks up.

“I was a little bit, yeah,” Gale answers.

“Where’s Neil?”

“He’ll be here soon, he had to close tonight,” Gale says.

“I’ll make this quick then.”

“No you won’t,” Gale scolds her.  “You’ll tell me everything.”

“Fine,” Katniss grumbles before she decides to tell him everything in a very condensed fashion. “ We went out for pizza, he asked me to be his girlfriend, I told him yes, he pushed me against the car and kissed me like he meant it, bit my lip even,” Katniss says, smiling at Gale’s silence. “Then he came over and we played video games for an hour or so, he heard me sing and then he shoved his tongue in my mouth.”

“Well then…”

“I do have one thing that is confusing me though, and I’m being serious now,” Katniss says, keeping her tone low so Gale understands she’s done joking around.

“And you think I can fix that for you?”

“You’re a guy, so maybe you can,” Katniss says. “Every time he kissed me tonight, it was like he wanted to take it further but something kept stopping him and he would force himself to stop. He got so spooked after our kisses here at the apartment that he practically ran out the door.”

“Maybe he just isn’t ready yet,” Gale says simply.

“It didn’t look like he wasn’t ready when he was leaving,” Katniss says.

“…gross,” Gale says, just above a whisper.

“I’m just letting you know so I can tell you that you’re wrong.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m wrong, I have a dick too, and they have a mind of their own,” Gale explains.

“So what you’re saying is…”

“His dick is ready, but he isn’t,” Gale deadpans.

“So I shouldn’t be offended?” Katniss asks. She was at first – even though he had asked her to be his girlfriend just a few hours before, his leaving in the middle of a moment like that made her feel like he actually didn’t like her.

“Why? Because he wouldn’t sleep with you on the third date? Is that what those pieces of shit you dated before Peeta made you think? That you aren’t appreciated if he’s not sleeping with you?”

“Of course not!” Katniss says defensively. “I don’t really know what to think. He left so fast.”

“Don’t think anything. Give him time,” Gale advises. “And go on a double date with me and Neil. You have to, you’re official now.”

“When?”

“I’ll talk to Neil and let you know, but we can go to that awesome Mexican place. It’s pretty laid back so we can all just hang out.”

Katniss had to admit, it did sound nice. An evening out with her best friend, her boyfriend, and his brother in a laid back environment where she could order a Margarita and laugh at Gale’s attempts to scare Peeta. She still didn’t want to do it yet, though.

“I’ll talk to Peeta too and we’ll all decide on something, alright?”

“And don’t avoid my calls to try and get out of it, you guys are doing this,” Gale lectures. He knew her too well. If there was something she didn’t want to do, that’s exactly how she handled it. She ignored it. “Neil is here, so I’ll let you go have wet dreams about blondie.”

“You’re a fucking pig,” Katniss yells into the phone before hanging up.

She wants to text Peeta and thank him properly for a nice evening – she was too confused before to say it the way she should have. She wants her nightly goodnight text from him, but he has been silent since he left; maybe he didn’t want to talk to her tonight.

As she brushes her teeth she hears her text alert ring from her bedside table. Knowing that it can’t possibly be Gale, there is only one other person that would text her at this time of night. Rushing to her phone, holding her toothbrush between her back teeth she looks at the screen. A text from Peeta with nothing more than a heart made out of a less than sign and the number “3” shines back at her.

 _“I was just getting ready to go to bed,”_ she sends back. She runs back into the bathroom and rinses her toothbrush and her mouth before heading back to her room just as her phone lights up again.

_“Sorry I left like that -- I didn’t want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you or anything.”_

_“It’s alright, I was just confused.”_

_“I didn’t mean to confuse you. You’re a very good kisser :)”_

_“So are you,”_ Katniss slips into bed and sets her phone down on the bedside table, plugging the charger into the bottom. _“Gale wants us to do a double date with him and Neil soon,”_ She sends after Peeta doesn’t answer.

 _“Alright… school lets out in two weeks; we should do it after that,”_ Peeta suggests. She knew he’d have a better answer than avoiding it. Two weeks gives her time to warm up to the idea and to Peeta even more before having to deal with the other two. She sends a text back telling him that she thinks that is the perfect idea, and her phone beeps less than a minute later with another reply. _“I’ll let you sleep now. Goodnight :)”_

Katniss sends a goodnight back and settles her head down onto her pillow, feeling worlds better than she did after Peeta left. He was still trying to be a gentleman, that’s all – there’s nothing wrong with that.

She is just clearing her mind and drifting off to sleep when she just barely hears her phone vibrating on the table again. Looking at the screen she sees it’s from Peeta again, and she’s not sure why he would be texting almost an hour after telling her goodnight.

 _“I can’t stop thinking about the way you taste,”_ The message reads. Katniss is still staring at the first message when a second arrives. _“And I can’t stop wondering what the rest of you tastes like.”_

If Katniss didn’t know better she’d think someone was playing a joke on her. Was this really the same Peeta that forced himself out of her apartment when kissing got too intense? She decides not to question it but to instead go along with it.

_“Don’t tease me like that.”_

_“Think about it before you fall asleep.”_

_“I already am.”_

_“Goodnight ;)”_

She didn’t know what had gotten into Peeta, but she did know that she was never going to tell Gale any of this.


	4. Mixed Messages

Peeta’s palms rest on her jaw, while his fingers are knotted through the hair that he released from the tight braid she had worn to the drive-in tonight. He inhales loudly through his nose and a moan slips out that causes Katniss to smile and pull away from his neck.  

“You sound pleased. Did you like that?” She asks. With his hands so wrapped up in her hair, she was able to move down to suck on the space just above his collarbone that is peeking out from the blue Hawaiian shirt he is wearing at her request.

“Mmhmm,” he nods. Katniss moves back to his mouth and lightly drags her tongue from his bottom lip, up to the top before closing her mouth around his, pulling away a second later.

“You taste good too,” she says, trying to remind him of the texts he sent her after their last date 4 days ago. They’ve been together all evening and he hasn’t mentioned them once, but he makes that same low hum in the back of his throat at the mention of it. Katniss remembers him making the other night, and she looks down to the front of his pants and sees the same swelling and tightness before looking up into his eyes and sweeping her fingers over his cheek.

He closes the space between them and claims her mouth greedily when he notices she’s seen his response to her, but hastily rips his mouth from hers and tries to smile -- it looks pained.

“I have to get going,” he says. Katniss doesn’t try to hide the disappointed look on her face this time. It is Friday night, and not even 11:00pm. Why won’t he stay longer? “I have a lot of stuff going on tomorrow, but I’ll give you a call.”

She could reach down right now and grasp his need – tell him in no uncertain terms that he isn’t going anywhere until they take care of his little _problem_. Or at least let him know that there’s no reason for him to leave right now, but it’s the look on his face that stops her. He looks scared, and Katniss can’t figure out why. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, but the expression on his face says otherwise. She moves off the couch to follow him to the door, trying to mask her discouragement by changing the subject entirely.

“You’re still alright with going out with Gale and Neil next Saturday, right?” Katniss asks, trying her best not to sound upset with him for doing this again. At least this time he wasn’t trying to run out the door.

“Of course,” he smiles, reaching out and grabbing Katniss’ hip, pulling her toward him. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Casual dress code,” Katniss reminds him. His hold on her hip is tight, but comforting, and is doing nothing to ease the confusion that is fogging her mind. What did this sudden burst of confidence mean? Is it relief that he was leaving? Does he not feel comfortable enough here yet? With that thought, Katniss wonders what she could say or do to ease his nerves, but her thought is cut off when Peeta begins to speak again.

“That’s encouraging, but I think I’ll keep the Hawaiian shirts in the closet that night and wear something more presentable.”

“I’m sure you’ll look great in whatever you pick,” Katniss says. She hopes that her words will coax him to come back into the apartment and stay with her a little longer. They could just curl up on the couch and watch TV if he wanted, it doesn’t matter right now. She just wants him to stay.

“Not when I’m standing by you,” he counters. He leans in for a quick kiss, hesitating when he pulls away to run his thumb over her cheek bone, and at that moment she knows he doesn’t want to leave any more than she wants him to go. So why was he? “Goodnight, Katniss.”

\---

As though on cue, not long after Katniss has gone into her bedroom to change for the night, a text from Peeta lights up her phone.

_“I know you saw what you do to me.”_

_“Then why did you leave?”_

_“Did you want to touch me, Katniss?”_

He didn’t answer the question, and if she wanted to, she could give an avoidant answer just like him, but at the moment, Katniss doesn’t care about retaliation.

_“Yes.”_

_“Tell me how.”_

Did he really just ask her that? Why couldn’t he just ask her to touch him while he was still here? Maybe he just needs to know that she was thinking about it to feel comfortable with it?

_“I wanted to reach down and touch you, and hold you in my hand to make sure you’d stay and let me take care of it for you.”_

_“Fuck, I’m still so hard for you.”_

_Then why did you leave?!_ She thinks to herself. She doesn’t answer for a few minutes, unsure of how to respond to someone that was just in her apartment with a need so great it would be apparent to anyone who glanced at him, but in the end decided to leave anyway. When her phone chimes again, she’s afraid to look at it.

_“I’ve got my hand wrapped around my dick right now, but I wish it was your hand.”_

He wasn’t going to let this go. While it confused her, she was glad he wasn’t stopping. She wanted him to ask her to come help him with it. She’d get in her car in her pajamas and look for his place in the dark if it meant helping him relieve the arousal he’s been sporting since he left, but she wasn’t going to beg. If he isn’t going to ask, she isn’t going to offer.

_“Pretend it’s mine.”_

_“I am.”_

_“Tell me what you’re doing.”_

She’s just beginning to think she scared him off when she hears her phone go off again. She grabs it hastily from where it lay on the comforter and opens the message.

_“My left hand is covered with lube, and I’m running it over my dick slowly, pretending it’s both of your small hands stroking me instead, one on top of the other. I’m thinking about your fingers grazing the head when you move to the tip, stopping my hips from jerking forward with one hand while you continue to stroke me with the other, teasing me, making me wait for it -- making me beg for you to make me come.”_

Was this really Peeta?His messages from Monday night were something else, but these are the hottest texts she’s ever gotten from anyone, let alone from Peeta. She’s not used to getting this detailed, but she wasn’t going to ruin it now.

_“Do you like begging for it?”_

_“I like it any way you want to give it to me.”_

_Just ask and I’ll be there,_ she thinks to herself before typing her next message.

_“You’re making me want to give it to myself right now.”_

_“Do it. Take your panties off and touch yourself for me.”_

She does as he says, slipping her underwear down and off her feet and settling in bed on her back. Before she can tell him she’s done it, her phone chimes again.

_“Call out my name when you come.”_

_“Only if you’ll call out mine, too.”_

_“I always do.”_

_\---_

“I’m glad we’re doing this double date with Gale and Neil,” Peeta says, glancing over at Katniss while they’re stopped at a red light.

“It should be an interesting evening,” Katniss replies. She turns her head to look out the window, not exactly thrilled about having to spend the evening with another couple, not when the last two weeks have been so confusing. Not when she isn’t sure where her own relationship is going.

After their intense text conversation last Friday, the texts came every night after seeing each other, but not once since Peeta started sending the texts has he mentioned it in person. Katniss refuses to bring them up first -- she doesn’t think she should have to. So now here she is, sitting in the passenger seat of his car, wondering why his behavior has been so strange.

She knows by now that it is more than him just trying to be a gentleman. They have been seeing each other for almost a month now and are still dancing around each other like the first night they met when they are together, and talking to each other like they can’t get enough of each other when they’re apart. Things just don’t add up.

“I wonder if Neil is going to bring Gale to meet mom and dad,” Peeta says. “He’d be the first one.”

“Really?” Katniss asks.

“Yeah, Neil has only been out of the closet for a few years,” Peeta reveals, grabbing for a mint from the cup holder.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that,” Katniss replies honestly. “I’ve only met him once but he seemed pretty comfortable with himself.”

“You’re right, he is comfortable with himself… it’s our mother that isn’t comfortable with him.”

“Oh,” Katniss says, looking down at her lap.

“For a long time she thought it was me that was gay,” Peeta begins, taking a deep breath. “She’d say to me ‘ _Only sissy boys_ paint,’ or _‘You cry too much, Peeta. Do you want to be a little girl?’_ and that was just when I was small,” he continues. “When I got older I was a ‘ _dirty faggot’_ , and when I was out with friends she’d tell me not to kiss my boyfriend in public unless I wanted someone to beat my face in. Sometimes she even offered to do it herself.”

_“What?”_ Katniss says. She can hardly believe what she’s hearing.

“So, of course, Neil heard all of the things she’d say to me. The last thing he wanted to do was to say _‘Guess what, mom? I’m actually the gay one,’_ so he didn’t for a long time.

“But you knew,” Katniss says. Peeta nods.

“He told me when I was a senior in high school. He had just started college and met someone there who he was really serious about. He told me first because he knew I wouldn’t judge him.”

“What happened?”

“Things fell apart with the guy, so he went back to hiding it until I was a senior in college,” Peeta explains.

“That long?” Katniss asks, shaking her head.

“He told everyone a few days before my graduation and it was a disaster. Nobody but Neil was there at the ceremony and our mother didn’t talk to anyone for weeks, even longer for me and Neil. Always me and Neil.”

“Why you and Neil?”

“Because we were the ones that strayed, and she figured out that I knew about Neil and was mad because she expected me to rat on him,” Peeta says with a shrug.

“What do you mean strayed? What about your oldest brother?”

“We didn’t want to be bakers,” Peeta replies. “Don’t get me wrong, I love to bake but if it means working with her until she decides to retire – which she never will – I want no part in it. Besides, I want to be defined as more than just the baker’s son and eventually the baker. Spencer is the brown nose of the family, anything to make mom happy.” He begins to chew on the mint angrily and immediately goes for another one.

“You don’t have to tell me anymore, it’s obviously upsetting you. Let’s just go and enjoy dinner,” Katniss encourages. She didn’t want this to ruin their night, and suddenly what she was upset about earlier didn’t even seem to matter anymore.

“No,” Peeta shakes his head. “If you’re going to start spending time with my brother then this is stuff you should know.”

“So what’s the story with the mints?” Katniss asks. If he’s willing to share stuff right now she may as well ask the question she has wanted to ask since the day they met. Thankfully, he laughs at her question.

“At the bakery, we always keep a bowl of mints on the counter for customers to take,” Peeta begins. “When our mother would start yelling, Neil would grab the bowl and we’d go into the supply closet to talk and eat them until things settled down. Neil grew out of it eventually, but it stuck with me. I started carrying them with me, and when things got too intense and I found myself getting anxious, I’d go for one and I have been  doing that ever since,” He shrugs. “Really poor attempts at a coping mechanism, I guess.”

The more Katniss heard about Peeta’s mother and the things she said and did to him and Neil, the less she liked her.

“What’s your dad like?” She asks, hoping he was nothing like Peeta’s mother.

“He’s a good guy, pretty quiet,” he shrugs. “But he lost his balls years ago at the hands of my mother – he can’t get a word in edgewise with her.”

Katniss can’t imagine what it must have been like for Peeta and Neil to grow up in an environment with a mother like that. Her mother always taught her and Prim to be strong and stand up for themselves, but belittling your children and devaluing your husband was not the way to do that.

“This is it, right?” Peeta says, slowing down the car in front of a small, Mexican restaurant.

“This is the one,” Katniss nods, picking her purse up from the floor while Peeta parks.

\---

“Did you want your jacket?” Peeta calls out. “It’s supposed to get chilly tonight.”

“Yeah,” Katniss answers, walking over to Peeta as he holds out her denim jacket for her to slip on. “It’s supposed to be summer, why is it so chilly?”

“I don’t know,” Peeta laughs, slipping his own jacket on. Katniss takes a look at him with the addition of the jacket. He has on his normal dark wash jeans, and a simple light blue t-shirt. The jacket is black – Katniss has never seen him in black before, and it seems to do something to make his eyes even brighter.

She wore a denim jacket over a thin black and white crew neck t-shirt, with cuffed jeans and a pair of white slip on shoes, and she takes a look at their reflections in the windows of the restaurant as they walk hand in hand toward the entrance – they looked good together. It’s not something she would normally do, but something about the way they looked together felt good; right.

They find Gale and Neil easily, sitting in a half booth in the corner of the restaurant. They are seated close together in the middle of the booth; Gale is holding one of Neil’s hands in both of his as he whispers something into his ear.

“Well they look happy,” Peeta notes as they walk toward the table. Katniss continues to watch as Neil starts laughing at whatever Gale whispered to him before turning his head and finding Gale’s lips.

Katniss can feel the jealousy bubbling in her stomaching instantly. It’s clear even from the short time she has observed Gale and Neil that their relationship is at a completely different level than her and Peeta’s. She never thought she would find herself wishing for the day when Peeta wouldn’t be too afraid to whisper something into her ear and let her kiss him in a room full of people without pulling away nervously or reaching for a mint instead of in a doing it in a dark, empty parking lot.

“Should we interrupt?” Katniss asks, trying to laugh away the pangs of jealousy that fight for her attention.

“Yes,” Peeta nods. “I’m hungry.” He walks to the booth and throws himself down onto the seat. The noise causes Gale and Neil to pull apart and look in Peeta’s direction. “Get a room.”

“Fuck you,” Neil says, shoving Peeta’s shoulder.

“That’s your job, isn’t it?” Peeta asks Gale. Gale laughs before looking for Katniss.

“Sit down, Katniss,” he says, pointing to Peeta. “I like this guy already.”

Katniss doesn’t answer. It was only a small exchange, but she has never seen Peeta relaxed enough to make a joke like that before. She knows it probably has to do with being around his brother, but she can’t help but feel bad that after spending so much time with her, he still can’t act like this when it’s just them.

Peeta orders his usual one beer, but when Katniss goes to order the same, he stops her.

“What about the peach margarita?” He says. She told him weeks ago this place has the best peach margarita in town, but when it came time to order, she knew Peeta wasn’t going to let her pay for her meal. Now that school let out and he isn’t working full time, she has been feeling even worse about allowing him to pay for everything.

“I don’t know, I think I just want a beer,” Katniss lies. She can tell Peeta doesn’t believe her.

“No you don’t,” Peeta argues. “I can spare the six bucks, Katniss.”

“Fine,” Katniss resigns. “Scratch the beer; I’ll have a peach margarita.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Neil asks when it’s just them again.

“Peeta insists on paying for everything when we go out,” Katniss says. She’s hoping that by telling him this he will help Peeta understand that it’s alright to let her pay sometimes too. “I’m perfectly capable of paying sometimes, too.”

“She’s right, Peeta,” Neil says. His face looks a little happier than it should for the conversation, but Katniss ignores it. “Let her pay sometimes, man.” He elbows Peeta in the ribs and raises his eyebrows when Peeta looks at him. “Okay?”

“Alright!” Peeta mumbles. “Can you please fuck off now?”

“Whatever you say, little brother,” Neil smiles and turns his attention to Katniss. “You have beautiful hair, Katniss.”

“Thanks,” Katniss says, putting her hand to the braid that hung over her shoulder.

“You should come see me at work, I’ll give you the VIP treatment,” Neil explains. “Shampoo, mini-facial, hand and arm massage, and a nice new cut. What would you say to an undercut and red dye?”

“No!” Peeta says firmly, and Katniss shakes her head.

“That’s alright,” Katniss says. “I’ll stick to what I’ve got.”

“Hey, don’t let this stick in the mud ruin the fun. I’ve been trying to get him to change that ratty mess of his for years now.” Neil says. The mention of Peeta’s hair causes Katniss to reach her hand up, and run her fingers through it, tilting her head to meet Peeta’s gaze.

“I like his hair,” Katniss says, speaking more to Peeta than anyone else. Peeta gives a weak smile at the statement, but doesn’t move. Katniss takes her hand out of his hair and folds her hands in her lap, remembering they are in public and that probably was making him uneasy.

She didn’t understand him. He approached her that day in the hotel bar, he asked her on the first date. Almost everything has been his idea for the last month, but he still won’t relax. What is he so afraid of? Katniss had no plans to go anywhere, if he is afraid of her leaving if he gets comfortable, there is nothing to be afraid of.

“Why doesn’t this place have cauliflower?” Gale asks suddenly.

“What is it with this guy and cauliflower?” Neil says to Katniss.

“He loves it,” Katniss says with a shrug. Gale huffs and sets his menu down.

“Isn’t it weird how the two friends ended up with brothers?” Gale asks.

“What’s weirder is that Katniss, you were only there for support, the same as Peeta, right?” Neil adds.

“I didn’t want to be there at all that night,” Katniss confirms, closing her menu.

“See Peeta, you bitched me out for dragging you there. Look at what you have now because of it,” Neil says, sounding like he’s proud of himself.

Katniss notices that Peeta’s original joking attitude has quickly disappeared after she told Neil he wouldn’t let her pay for things. She hopes he isn’t mad at her; maybe telling Neil wasn’t the right decision, but she was tired of him acting like he had to pay for everything.

\---

“So Katniss,” Neil says, taking a bite of his enchilada. “Has Peeta shown you his paintings yet?”

She looks over to Peeta and his head is down, pushing the chicken for his fajitas around in his plate, not even bothering to put them together to eat.

“No, he hasn’t,” Katniss answers, still looking at Peeta. She doesn’t like putting him on the spot like this, but now that Neil brought it up, why hasn’t he offered to show her yet?

“You paint, Peeta?” Gale asks. Katniss looks up at him with a glare. He knew that, she told him.

“Yeah, since I was a kid,” Peeta nods, finally tearing his eyes from his plate.

“You any good?”

“Well, I’m an art teacher at an elementary school, so I can’t be too bad.”

“But why haven’t you shown Katniss yet?” Neil interrupts. Peeta sets his napkin down in his lap and turns to Katniss.

“After dinner, would you like to come back to my apartment to see my paintings?” He asks. She screws up her eyes and looks at him, trying to make out what the expression is on his face; it’s not until she looks down and sees his hand on his pocket full of mints that she realizes Neil has just embarrassed him in front of everyone. She reaches out and places her hand over his, willing him to stop.

“Yes,” she nods. “That sounds nice.” She flashes a dirty look in Neil’s direction, but he’s smiling back at her. Her eyes move to Gale who lifts his taco up and salutes her with it before taking a bite.

They did this on purpose. She was going to kill Gale for telling Neil that she and Peeta hadn’t had sex yet, and then she was going to kill him again for hatching a plan to embarrass Peeta into inviting her to his apartment.

\---

“So, you guys know it’s my birthday next month,” Gale says as they walk to the parking lot.

“I didn’t,” Peeta replies. As the evening has worn on, Peeta has begun to relax a bit. He’s starting to joke more, and his face looks a lot less stressed.

“Well it is,” Gale replies, pointing to Peeta. “And I want you two to celebrate with us.”

“We’re going to try to book reservations at Pacifica for July 18th, but we can’t until we know if you two are coming or not,” Neil adds.

“Uh, I can’t,” Peeta says suddenly. “It’s the first fundraiser for the new school year that night, I can’t miss that.”

“They don’t last long, just come after. We’ll make the reservations a little later,” Neil replies. Peeta looks like he’s considering it.

“Come on, man. I know Katniss won’t want to go if you don’t,” Gale says.

“Really?” Peeta asks, turning to Katniss.

“Really,” she nods.

“Are you taking her to the fundraiser, Peeta?” Neil asks.

“No, I don’t want to subject her to that just yet,” Peeta shakes his head. “But the next one, she doesn’t have a choice.” He smiles at Katniss and she takes his hand, locking their fingers together.

They say their goodbyes and walk back to Peeta’s car – the ride to Peeta’s place is tense. Halfway through, Peeta grabs a mint from the cup holder.

“My place isn’t that great,” Peeta says.

“I don’t care about that.”

“Yeah, but…” he stops for a moment, as though he’s trying to think of the right thing to say. “It’s just not that great.”

“You said that already, and I still don’t care.” She reaches over and grabs his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he drives the rest of the way to his apartment.

\---

Peeta leads her up a narrow sidewalk, past a row of small, brown, one story units. They all look the same, though a few have flags hanging in front of the door. Peeta jiggles his keys and Katniss looks up just in time to see him turn right and stop at the front door of a unit that’s three away from the end of the row.

It’s void of any flags or decorations to set it apart from the others, and when he opens the door and flips on the light, Katniss walks into a small, studio apartment with paintings covering the walls.

She surveys the place quickly – right in front of her is a small couch bed with the mattress still pulled out. _That’s where he sleeps. That’s where he jerks off thinking about me._ She looks from Peeta, to the bed and he gives her an uncomfortable smile.

“Sorry, if I knew I’d have company I would’ve made the place presentable for company,” he shrugs.

“It’s alright,” Katniss smiles, continuing to look around. To her right is a small, walk in area with an easel, canvases, and paints.

“That’s my ‘painting room’ over there,” Peeta explains. “It’s supposed to be where the bed goes, but I thought it looked better this way.”

In front of the couch was a small, tube TV on a stand that looked like it had seen better days, and just beyond the small living room is an even smaller kitchen. She isn’t sure two people could ever fit in there. Aside from the paintings on the walls, the place was depressing.

“As you can see there’s not much room around here,” Peeta says, spreading his arms. “That’s why I prefer coming to your place. I don’t even have cable -- there’d be nothing for us to do.”

Katniss can’t stop herself from raising her eyebrows at him, challenging him to think of what they _could_ be doing here to entertain themselves; his face doesn’t change at all.

“So these are all your paintings?” Katniss says, changing the subject.

“Yeah,” Peeta nods. “It’s not an ego thing, I just have no place else to store them, so I just put them on the walls for now. I’m almost out of room, though.”

Katniss looks around the room. There are paintings of everything from dogs to trees; then Katniss notices one that strikes her as familiar. A small boy, reaching for a bowl on his tiptoes.

“Is that one Neil?” Katniss points.

“Yeah,” Peeta laughs. “Grabbing the mints for us. I still see that so clearly in my head, to this day.”

“These are phenomenal, Peeta.”

“You really think so?” He turns around and walks closer to her, watching her head as she nods. He grabs her hand and pulls her toward him until their bodies are flush. The kiss is instantly deep; their tongues find each other without delay, coiling around each other.

Katniss moves first and without thought, pushing Peeta’s jacket from his shoulders, hearing it hit the ground with a low thud. When Peeta doesn’t move to take her jacket off, she begins to do it herself, but is stopped by his hands gripping the denim firmly, and he pulls it from her arms with such force that it pushes Katniss backward onto the thin mattress of the couch bed.

She grabs for him, pulling him to the bed by the hem of his shirt, lifting it and touching his warm skin. He pulls the shirt up and over his head quickly, but Katniss has no time to admire the view before Peeta is on her, pushing her onto her back and covering her body with his.

They stay like this for a while, trailing kisses across each other’s faces and neck, periodically stopping to bring their mouths, and tongues, together again. When Peeta begins to thrust his hips into hers, Katniss finally finds her words.

“Touch me like you’ve been wanting to,” she murmurs into his mouth. His hand comes down and cups her breast, squeezing it gently a few times before moving it down further and under her shirt to squeeze again through her bra, moving his lips back down to suck her neck.

She can feel his hardness rubbing against her, and she reaches her hand down to palm the growth. He gasps at her touch and moans against her skin, but suddenly pulls his hand out from under her shirt and pushes himself off her, rolling onto his back next to her.

“We should stop,” he’s gasping for breath and staring at the ceiling.

“What?” Katniss asks, completely dumbfounded.

“This is not why I brought you here,” Peeta explains.

Katniss sits up quickly, pulling her shirt down forcibly, standing from the mattress, and picking her jacket up from the floor.

“You don’t have to leave,” Peeta says, still stairs at the ceiling. “You can stay tonight; I have some extra clothes you can wear. It’d be nice to share a bed with someone.”

_He expects me to share a bed with him after he rejected me again?_ Katniss thinks to herself.

“I want you to take me home now,” Katniss says firmly.

\---

Peeta pulls up to the front of Katniss’ apartment and parks on the street, shutting off the car, but neither one of the move -- they haven’t said a word to each other since Katniss asked him to take her home.

Katniss takes a deep breath, trying to decide if it would be easier to just get out and leave it at that, or say something to him. There was nothing wrong with what they were doing tonight. Why was Peeta acting as though there was? Finally, Katniss decides she’s held her tongue long enough.

“Why have you been acting so strange?” she asks, turning in the passenger seat to face him. The glow from the street light in front of them illuminates his face just enough so that she can see his eyes quickly dart to the mints he keeps in his cup holder, but he looks back up into Katniss eyes just as quick.

“There’s more to a relationship than sex, Katniss,” Peeta says. His voice sounds as though he believes Katniss doesn’t realize this.

“First of all, that doesn’t answer my question,” Katniss snaps. “Second, is that all you think I care about?”

“No,” Peeta sighs. He runs his fingers through his hair and it sends a pain to Katniss’ stomach that almost knocks the wind out of her. As mad as she is, the thought of not being able to touch his hair like that again hurts more than she ever thought it would. “I’m just saying that there is more that should be worked on first.”

“You know, under any other circumstance, I’d agree with you, but the way you talk when you’re not with me and the way you act when you are just don’t match up. You’re making it really hard for me to believe you.” Katniss says. “I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

“I just want to do this right,” Peeta replies solemnly.

“So pushing me away is the right way? Using me to get off every night, but never expressing yourself when you’re with me is the right way?” Katniss shakes her head. “I don’t know about you, but that sounds more like the wrong way.”

“Katniss…”

“Are you married?”

“What?”

“Are you married? Got a couple of kids somewhere, waiting for their dad to come home?” Katniss asks. “Was that your secret apartment you brought me to? Where you take all of your girlfriends you keep on the side?”

Maybe that was why he always picked off the wall places to go on dates; nothing too popular, a drive-in 40 miles away, his refusal to get too close to her when they do go somewhere crowded – maybe that was the reason. 

“Do you really think I’d go on a double date with my _brother_ if I were married?” Peeta shakes his head. “Is that the kind of asshole you think I am?”

“I don’t know, Peeta. How the fuck am I supposed to think anything of you when you keep sending me mixed messages?” She raises her voice this time; the overwhelming emotions that she has been battling all day have finally boiled over. “One minute you’re scrambling to leave my house, and the next you’re texting me about how hard your fucking dick is because of me!”

Peeta takes a deep breath and turns away from Katniss. She waits for him to answer, but all he does is stare out the window.

“See,” Katniss says. “This is what you do. You clam up, and I have no fucking clue what you’re thinking.” She waits again, but he still doesn’t speak. “You know what? Fuck this. When you figure out a way to make this work, you let me know. I’m tired of waiting for you to decide how to do this right.”

She pulls on the door handle hard; the noise seems to snap Peeta out of his silence.

“Wait, let me…”

“No,” Katniss cuts him off. “Don’t bother. I can walk myself to my apartment.” She steps out of the car, slamming the door behind her, and walks into the apartment complex without looking back.

 

 


	5. The Gospel According to Neil

If Gale could see her now, he’d surely laugh at her – curled up on her couch in pink pajama pants covered in polar bears, and a gray hooded sweatshirt, complete with the top pulled up over her head. She grabs the pile of crumpled tissues from the spot next to her on the couch and shoves them in her pocket, feeling paranoid that Gale will barge in a see her like this – crying over a guy. When had she gotten so weak?

She wants to ignore her phone when it begins to ring, the sadness she has felt all day is quickly replaced by anger when she sees Peeta’s name on the display screen. It’s taken him all night, and most of today to contact her, but here he is, ringing her phone at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Katniss turns her head to where her phone is set on the couch cushion and gives it a dirty look before grabbing it.

“Hello?” she answers, making sure her voice sounds every bit as angry as she was last night.

“Katniss…” Peeta’s voice doesn’t sound angry. It doesn’t even sound a little upset. All she can hear is dejection. However, rather than feeling sympathy for him, she can only feel her anger rising.

“Have you finally decided to speak?” Katniss asks. “Or are you just calling to tell me you have an STD or something?”

“Where did that come from?” Peeta asks, shocked at her immediate accusation. “Who said anything about an STD? I know for a fact that don’t have any, but what about you? Do _you_ know?” Now he sounds angry. “Have you gotten yourself checked after some of the pigs you’ve slept with?” He spits. “Your friend Gale should learn not to tell my brother everything.” Katniss can’t comprehend what she’s hearing right now. Gale told Neil about the guys she’s been with? What was he thinking?

“I’m clean…” Katniss murmurs, feeling ashamed.

“It doesn’t feel so good being accused of something untrue does it, Katniss?”

“Is that was this is about?” Katniss asks. “You heard something from Neil who heard something from Gale who likes to exaggerate everything about my personal life because it doesn’t match his vision? Did you actually think I had STDs?”

“No,” Peeta replies. “But I couldn’t be sure. I’ve been burned too many times to assume, and when he told me that I just thought – here we go, something’s going wrong again.”

“Again?” Katniss asks.

“Yeah, again. Thinking once more that a relationship is going to work and then having things fall apart,” Peeta explains. “I’ve been hurt too many times to jump into things completely, and I promised myself the day I met you that I would wait. I wanted to take you out, learn about you, let you learn about me, but that’s easier said than done.”

“Clearly,” Katniss says. The anger is gone from her voice now, but there is still a hint of sarcasm in her words.

“I shouldn’t have sent you those text messages,” Peeta admits. “I tried so hard to protect myself from getting hurt again, and tried so hard to fight how much I want to be with you that I created a problem far worse in the end. I thought maybe if I sent texts that it would ease the tension a little bit.”

“That just made it worse,” Katniss tells him.

“I know,” Peeta agrees. “I can see that now.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me this?” Katniss asks.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me anymore if I told you I needed time.”

“Peeta,” Katniss sighs before continuing. “If you need time, I will give you time. I’m not going to break things off because you want to take it slow.” Is that how she came across? Maybe Gale was right, all those pigs that she dated didn’t want anything more than sex, and maybe that’s what she has presumed to be normal all this time. Maybe it’s all she feels she deserves. So much so that she doesn’t even know how to react when someone is trying to take things slow.

“I just don’t want to make the same mistakes with you.”

“I understand,” Katniss says, nodding even though Peeta can’t see her. She is no stranger to mistakes – her whole life has been a mistake.

“Can I see you tonight?” Peeta asks. “I feel terrible and I just need to see you and tell you in person how sorry I am for putting you through this.”

“Sure,” Katniss says, trying to keep the smile from her voice. “Come over around six and we’ll order pizza and maybe watch a movie?”

“That sounds nice,” Peeta agrees. “I’ll see you at six.”

XX

Katniss opens the door at the sound of Peeta’s now familiar knock, smiling when she sees him standing there in a red zip up hoodie and a white t-shirt that is visible underneath. He is wearing a pair of black sweatpants with a red strip down the side of each leg, and for once, he is without his Chucks. Today, he is wearing a pair of black, slip on Vans. Katniss looks him up and down, appraisingly.

“Were you working out?” She asks. Peeta flashes a crooked, shy smile before looking down at his outfit.

“Uh, no. Just not having a very good day.” Katniss nods at his statement and extends her arms, showing Peeta her outfit.

“That makes two of us.”

Peeta puts his arms out, and Katniss doesn’t hesitate to walk towards him, nestling her forehead in his neck and feeling his warmth spread across it as she wraps her arms around him and clasps her hands together behind his back. He does the same, squeezing her tightly to him as he brings his cheek down to rest on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, swaying back and forth with Katniss wrapped in his arms. After a moment, Katniss pulls away, grabbing both of Peeta’s hands in hers, leading him to the couch. They sit, and Katniss curls up next to him, wedging herself under his arm. This is what she needed all day. The quiet comfort that he brings her and nothing more. When they are settled, Peeta continues. “I’ve had a lot of bad luck,” he says. “But this feels different, in a good way, and I want it to stay like that.”

“It feels different for me, too,” Katniss replies, stopping there. She isn’t sure what else to tell him. Does she tell him she’s never been in love before? Never believed she was capable of falling in love? Does she tell him she’s never gone on more than two dates with a guy before sleeping with him, and has never had a relationship last more than a few weeks? “So different that I’m not quite sure how to act sometimes.” She decides not to say anything more than that right now. If he needs time, then she did, too.

“Just listen to how you feel and let that guide you,” Peeta suggests. “That’s what I’m going to try to do.” He rubs his hand up and down her back. “We can still kiss, you know,” he hints. Katniss tilts her head up to look at him and smiles. He brings his lips down to hers, kissing her with slow, skillful movements. There is a comfort behind the kisses that hasn’t been there before, and the urgency of the kisses they had been sharing the last two weeks has disappeared. They were on the same page now, and Katniss was content to sit here and kiss him like this all night. There was no pressure to escalate things, no nagging in the back of her head telling her that if he doesn’t respond, he doesn’t care about you – the sound of Peeta’s stomach growling stops them.

“Oh yeah,” Katniss laughs. “We were supposed to be ordering a pizza.” Peeta smiles at her sheepishly. “We should order your favorite this time, since we got mine last night. Mushroom and onions, right?”

“You remembered,” he replies sarcastically, his tone a few octaves higher than usual, his hand over his heart. Katniss smiles, remembering the joking attitude he had with Neil at dinner last night. Maybe this was what he needed to feel comfortable enough to act that way with her now, too.

“You better get your mints out,” Katniss warns, grabbing her phone. “I’m not kissing you with onion breath.”

XX

“You can pick the movie,” Katniss says as she plucks a mint from between Peeta’s fingers. “All of my DVDs are on the shelf in the corner.”

Peeta nods and gets up from the couch, moving to the corner of the room nearest to the couch and crouching over to look at the DVD titles lined on the shelf.

“ _The Brave Little Toaster_?” Peeta asks with a laugh.

“Hey, don’t knock _The Brave Little Toaster_!” Katniss says. “Prim and I used to watch it all the time when we were kids.”

Peeta laughs and turns back to the shelf, pulling his finger along the cases as he reads them. He makes a noise that sounds excited as he pulls a DVD from the shelf and brings it over to Katniss, handing it to her.

“I know it’s not even close to Christmas yet, but I don’t think it needs to be to watch this one.” Katniss looks at the DVD case – _Christmas Vacation_.

“Good choice,” Katniss nods in approval. “Should I make some popcorn?”

“Will you still kiss me if I have popcorn breath?” Katniss pretends to contemplate the question for a minute before she nods.

“Sure, why not?”

“Then yes,” Peeta says. “Popcorn sounds great.

XX

When Katniss wakes up, the room is dark and the DVD menu is playing on a loop -- she doesn’t remember lying down and falling asleep, but she must have been asleep for a while because the arm she had curled up under her cheek is stiff and sore. The empty bowl of popcorn and beer bottles are sitting on the coffee table and with the glow from the TV she can just make out Peeta’s shoes set against the table’s leg. That’s when she realizes that he’s still here, and that she’s stretched out across the length of the couch, with her legs propped up over his lap.

His feet are planted flat on the floor, clad in just his socks, and his head has fallen back against the couch – he’s sleeping too. She moves her legs from his lap slowly and gets up from the couch, creeping across the apartment toward the kitchen with the bowl and bottles, setting them all in the sink.

She sits back down on the couch, pulling her legs up off the floor and propping herself up on her knees. She moves her hand to Peeta’s hair, brushing it off his forehead a few times before leaning down and placing a kiss on his exposed neck.

“Peeta,” she breathes in his ear. “Wake up, come on.” When his eyes pop open, and he pulls his head up and looks around, Katniss gets off the couch and grabs his hands, trying to pull him up. “Come on,” she says again.

“Where are we going?” he asks, still half asleep. Katniss doesn’t even let herself stop to think about her next answer.

“To bed, it’s late,” Katniss replies. She pulls his arms again and he stands up.

“You want me to stay?” He asks. It’s a silly question, as Katniss is already pulling him across the living room toward the hallway that leads to her bedroom.

“It’d be nice to share a bed with someone,” she says, repeating the words he said to her last night. She was too mad to see the truth of his statement before, but now that he’s here, the idea of them going to bed separately isn’t an option anymore.

They make it to her bedroom, and Peeta sits down on the edge of Katniss’ bed. Without thinking, Katniss moves to him and begins to unzip his hoodie, pulling it off his shoulders and folding it up, setting it on the floor.

“It gets kind of warm in here,” Katniss says, pulling her own hoodie up and over her head.

“Can we…” Peeta begins, trailing off and looking embarrassed.

“What?”

“Can we open the windows?” He asks. “Mine don’t open at my apartment, I miss sleeping with them open.”

“Sure,” Katniss smiles. She opens both bedroom windows while Peeta pulls his phone from one pocket, and the rest of his mints from the other, setting them on the bedside table. She can tell his nerves are back, but she doesn’t call attention to them. Instead, she moves back to the bed and pulls the comforter back, silently telling Peeta to settle in.

She isn’t sure what she’s doing, but for some reason, it feels right. Peeta wanted time, and she was going to give him time while trying to get him to realize that she wants more from him than she has ever wanted from anyone in her life. More and more she is starting to realize how calming his presence is to her, and she wants him to feel the same with her. She thinks about what he said in the car, that there is more to a relationship than sex, and she knows now that he’s right, but is isn’t the time to think about why she never stopped to consider that before.

By the time she walks around to the other side of the bed, Peeta has finally laid down, curled up on his side with his right arm pulled up to his chest. She gets into bed and pulls the covers up over them before lying on her back; they are silent for a moment before Peeta speaks up.

“Your bed is really comfortable.” At first it seems like a strange thing to comment on, but then she remembers his bed. The thin, uncomfortable couch bed mattress and she remembers the bar that jabbed her back in the short time she was laying on it yesterday. She wonders then how long he has had to sleep on it, but it’s just another thing to worry about later – now is not the time.

She turns her head to look at him, and he suddenly looks so content. His hair is falling over his forehead, but away from his eyes as they begin to droop lower and lower. Suddenly, she feels his leg snake between hers, settling there, as his left hand comes to rest on top of her hand that is draped over her stomach.

They were close without being too close; the comfortable intimacy relaxes Katniss in a way she’s never been before and she sighs contentedly as she stares at Peeta’s closed eyes. There are so many things they need to say to each other – so much to learn. But right now, none of it seems to matter.

“By the way,” Peeta says with his eyes still closed. “I like the polar bears.”

XX

“Do these fundraisers make you nervous?” Katniss asks as she secures the end of the towel wrapped around her head. The last month has flown by, and the two of them have fallen into an easy routine. Peeta landed a job teaching art classes for 5 and 6 year olds on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at the rec center for the summer, but on nights he didn’t have to teach the next day, he stayed at Katniss’ apartment without question. They barely even discussed the arrangement.

She hasn’t told Peeta yet, but she has never slept more soundly in her life than on the nights he stays with her. She’s giving him the time that he needs, and in return he’s providing her with a sense of security and comfort that she never knew existed.

She stands in the living room after her shower with her robe tied around her tightly, and her hair wrapped in a towel, watching Peeta as he sits on the edge of the couch, tying his shoes. He is about to leave for his apartment to get ready for his fundraiser, while Katniss finishes getting ready to meet Gale and Neil for his birthday dinner at Pacifica that night.

 “Not really,” he shakes his head. “It’s boring as hell, but I’ve never had trouble meeting donation goals.” He stands up and walks over to Katniss, pulling her toward him by her hips. “I’d rather go straight to dinner with you, though.”

“I’d prefer it that way, too,” Katniss agrees. “But I’ll see you later.”

Peeta leans in for a kiss, brushing his thumb across a drop of water on the side of Katniss’ face, when he pulls away he smears in across the tip of her nose and smiles.

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” he says. “Now go get ready, you don’t want to keep them waiting.”

XX

“Why did you take a cab, Katniss?” Gale asks.

“Because I know how you like to buy drinks for everyone on your birthday. I told Peeta to come here in a cab too.” Katniss replies, and looks at Neil. “He’s really a stickler for the one beer rule when he drives, isn’t he?”

“Very,” Neil nods. “It’s his job, he takes it very seriously. He doesn’t want to be the teacher with a DUI.” He looks at Gale and shakes his head in disapproval. “Meanwhile, this one here has been drinking since 5, so I had to drive here and implement a one beer rule of my own if I’m going to get him home.”

Katniss cringed. Gale had been drinking for several hours already, and she knew how embarrassing he tended to get when he drank too much. He giggles at Neil’s statement and leans over until his mouth is close to Neil’s ear.

“What’d you say about getting me home?” Katniss rolls her eyes and fishes her phone from her purse, staring at the screen even though there are no messages, hoping Peeta will text her to let her know he was on his way.

She looks to the large front windows of the restaurant and sees cabs dropping people off, none of which are Peeta. Gale and Neil have disappeared into their own little world again, whispering things to each other that she is probably better off not hearing. Gale’s voice addressing her causes her to jump.

“What?” Katniss says, leaning over the table to try to hear Gale’s question.

“I said,” Gale repeats, slurring his words just slightly. “What is Peeta like in bed?”

“Stop it, man. That’s my brother,” Neil grouses.

Katniss doesn’t know what to say. Why is he asking her this right now, in the middle of a fancy, crowded restaurant, with Peeta’s brother sitting right next to him? He’s drunk, that’s why.

“Did you hear me this time?” Gale asks. Katniss still can’t find the words to answer him.

“Drop it, Gale,” Neil threatens, but Gale ignores him.

“Is he good?” Gale asks. “He’s kind of quiet, so I wonder if maybe he’s really crazy in bed or something.”

“Gale,” Neil’s voice is on edge and his tone is a warning. Katniss looks at him and he gives her a sympathetic look. He knows.

 “No way,” Gale gasps as the look on Katniss’ face. He leans over the table even further and lowers his voice. “You guys haven’t fucked yet?”

“Jesus, Gale,” Katniss hisses.

“I thought you said he was staying at your place a few nights a week now?”

“He is.” Katniss looks over at Neil again, his head is down, and he’s staring at the table. “I don’t want to talk about it, alright?”

“It’s been how long now? Two months?” Gale asks. “Two months and he just sleeps at your place and nothing else? Bullshit.” Katniss has had enough.

“He doesn’t want to, okay?!” She says in a harsh whisper. The table falls silent – now it’s Katniss’ turn to stare down at the table.

“Not true,” Neil says, breaking the silence. Katniss looks up at him, but says nothing. “He’s falling for you in a big way, Katniss.”

“He has a weird way of showing it,” Gale interrupts. Neil and Katniss both glare at him, but say nothing.

“I take it you guys haven’t had a conversation about your exes yet?” Neil asks.

“Not really,” Katniss confesses. “He just mentioned he’s had a lot of bad luck.”

“Is that what he called it?” Neil says. “Bad luck?” He shakes his head and looks at his water, dragging his finger over the condensation that has collected. “I told him to tell you weeks ago, but I can see that he didn’t.”

Katniss wants to tell him to stop. It’s not his place to say a word, but if Peeta is still too scared to tell her, this may be the only way she finds out before she gives up. She nods at Neil, a cue to tell him to continue. He takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes, as though he’s choosing his words carefully.

“Peeta is incredibly powerful in all areas of his life but love,” Neil begins. “You should see him at those fundraisers, Katniss. I went with him once, and he’s confident, commanding, and charming. He can get the old rich women’s checkbooks out within minutes.” He laughs a little before continuing. “I was really hoping he’d bring you tonight so you could see that side of him. So you’d know that he’s more than just the nervous, mint popping kid he is when he’s with you.”

Katniss smiles sadly at Neil, but still doesn’t speak.

“In the classroom he exudes control and patience. He’s good at what he does – very good. However, in love? He has a track record for picking the ones that are completely wrong for him.” Katniss’ stomach drops at the revelation, and she has to look away.

“Oh.” It’s the only thing she can say after she brings her eyes back to Neil.

“He’s terrified, Katniss.” She chews on the inside of her cheek, trying to keep the question from coming out. It’s not Neil’s place to explain this stuff to her, but she can’t stop herself and the word falls from her lips anyway.

“Why?”

Neil’s eyes are downcast and he takes another deep breath before beginning.

“Let’s see,” he starts. “There was the girl who got pregnant and told him it was his until she admitted that she’d been cheating on him.”

Katniss feels her mouth go dry and remembers accusing him of having children. It was after that moment that he stopped talking to her, and she can’t help but wonder if that’s part of why.

“And that’s just the girl he lost his virginity to,” Neil continues. “She strung him along the entire pregnancy, and it was only when our mother demanded a paternity test after the baby was born that she confessed to cheating on him and knowing it wasn’t his.” He looks down at his water again and swallows hard. “He was 14 years old.”

Gale’s eyes grow wide at the news, but he remains quiet. Katniss can tell he regrets even starting this conversation now.

“14 years old?” Katniss asks.

“He won’t admit it, but I’ll always say he did it to prove to our mother that he wasn’t gay. He never seemed scared or upset by the idea of getting a girl pregnant. With him, it was more like he was saying _‘Look at what I did, mom’_.  Obviously, that backfired,” Neil continues. “Because when mom found out that it wasn’t his and the girl just strung Peeta along, she laughed at him. She told him only men could get a girl pregnant, and he wasn’t a man.”

“Why would she say that?” Katniss asks. She doesn’t know what else to say. What kind of mother would say something like that to their 14 year old son who got himself into a situation like that because of her in the first place?

“That’s just what she does,” Neil shrugs. “She does it to everyone.” Katniss looks down at the center piece in the middle of their table; she watches the fire dance around the wick of the candle that floats in a bowl of water. “That’s not all, though,” Neil interrupts.

“I don’t want you to tell me anymore,” Katniss says out loud this time. “But I can’t help but think this is the only way I’m going to find out.” Neil nods.

“There were other girls after that one of course, but none of them lasted very long. I don’t think he had a serious girlfriend for the rest of high school. He doesn’t talk about that time too much, but when he was in college he met a girl that he really liked. She wasn’t in college though, she was a few years older and she had a daughter.”

“No way,” Katniss says, shaking her head.

“I liked her at first,” Neil says. “I went to visit him one weekend and she was there with her kid and she was nice. Her little girl was polite and really loved Peeta, so I accepted it. He seemed to have things figured out.”

“But it obviously wasn’t figured out,” Katniss says.

“Well it was, but not by Peeta,” Neil replies. “Long story short, she used him for sex and money.” He shifts in his seat a little, clearly not comfortable talking about it. Katniss considers telling him to stop again, but she still can’t do it. “According to him, he paid her bills for her, bought her daughter whatever she wanted, and when he did that, everything was great. The minute he said he couldn’t pay something or couldn’t afford to get something for the little girl, that’s when the shit started.”

“What kind of shit?” Katniss asks.

“She’d threaten suicide, threaten to accuse him of molesting her daughter, that kind of shit,” Neil explains. “When things first started, she’d bribe him into paying for things with sex.”

“And he fell for that?” Katniss shakes her head, not sure if she should feel bad for Peeta or not.

“In the beginning he did, sure. He’s a guy, Katniss. When you have the promise of getting off whenever you wanted, and a partner that is playing you like that, it happens sometimes,” Neil lectures. “After she started getting crazy and Peeta was trying to break things off, he said that she would demand it.”

“Demand sex?”

“Yeah, I don’t know the whole story on why, but if he refused to have sex with her, or even tell her it was over, she’d then threaten take a bunch of pills, or cut herself,” Neil nods. “And she bled him dry. He barely had two pennies two rub together by the time she finally let go of him.”

Katniss thinks about his car, and how he mentioned wanting one that wasn’t so old if he had the money. She thinks about his apartment, the couch bed, and his small TV.

“Is that why he’s weird about paying for things?” Katniss asks.

“Sort of,” Neil nods. “That actually has more to do with the last girlfriend that screwed him over.”

“There’s more?” Katniss asks, shocked.

“Oh this is the icing on the cake,” Neil says. “Please don’t tell him I told you all of this.”

“I won’t,” Katniss shakes her head.

“The last girlfriend was the worst,” Neil begins. “She may as well have been our mother.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“She was a bitch,” Neil shrugs. “It’s really that simple, and I told him not to date her. She was just like mom, and I don’t know why he did it. She never had anything nice to say to him, she demanded he take her on expensive dates, and he couldn’t, so she’d berate him in front of people. Call him a cheap, worthless bastard, a creep, anything you can think of.”

“How long was he with her?”

“I’m not sure,” Neil says. “Six months, maybe.”

“Why?” Katniss asks.

“I asked him once, why he was still with her,” Neil says. Stopping as if he is trying to decide if he should finish the sentence. “He said that maybe that was all he deserved.” He looks sad as he continues. “He never brought her to meet our parents, but I did spend a lot of time with them and she was ruthless. She even got to the point where she’d insult his performance and size if you catch my drift. That was when it was really bad. I guess that was how you can hurt Peeta the most.”

“That’s how you hurt any man the most,” Gale chimes in.

“Not now, Gale,” Katniss snaps.

“And those are just the girls I know about,” Neil adds. “He doesn’t talk about it much at all, so I’m just telling you the parts that I know, so forgive him if he’s not quite ready to take things further, he hasn’t exactly had positive experiences in that department.

“He said he had been burned, but I really wasn’t expecting to hear all of that,” Katniss admits.

“He really likes you Katniss,” Neil tells her. “And I’m glad you’re giving him time to sort his head out, because for a while there, he couldn’t even think about intimacy. Too many bad memories associated with it.”

“I really wish he would have told me this before I yelled at him,” Katniss says more to herself than anyone else.

“Well I told him that he shouldn’t shut you out and then text you later to get off, that’s not fair.” Gale’s head snaps up from his menu at that and Katniss cringes. “You’re not the only one that makes phone calls after your dates, Katniss.”

“I can’t believe he told you that.”

“He didn’t mean to,” Neil assures her. “He didn’t call to tell me that, he was actually upset when he called. It was after we all went to dinner together. After he brought you home.”

“After our fight,” Katniss says.

“Yeah,” Neil nods. “I told him to call you that afternoon, too.”

“Thanks,” Katniss says, cracking a smile. She has a question though that she’s hoping Neil can answer. “He said to me that Gale told you I’ve been with pigs, and then you told him that.” She flashes a dirty look in Gale’s direction and he flashes one right back.

“Well you have been with pigs,” Gale says with a shrug.

“Shut the fuck up,” Katniss spits. “Neil, why would you tell him that when you knew he was already having trouble?”

“I should apologize for doing that,” Neil says sadly. “Gale let it slip that you aren’t the kind to date or get serious about people and I was seeing red, and instead of being logical about it, I told Peeta as a warning. He said you were different, and even though I wanted him to be right, after what Gale said, I had my doubts.”

“Oh.” She wasn’t sure if she should be mad at Gale for saying something like that to Peeta’s brother, or if she should be ashamed that Neil would doubt her without even knowing her.

“I just keep hoping you’re not another one to add to his collection,” Neil says. His tone is alarming and Katniss isn’t sure what to say. It’s Gale who speaks up.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Gale snaps. “She’s being more than patient with your brother. I would have kicked him to the curb long ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Neil says. “I’m just so tired of seeing him get walked on. I may tease him, but that’s what I’m supposed to do, I’m his older brother. In the end, I want happiness for Peeta just as much as I do for myself. He’s the only one that supported me when I came out, and now he needs support of his own.”

“Don’t worry,” Katniss says. “I’m not like that, and I can’t understand why anyone would want to treat Peeta like that.” She understood Neil’s anger perfectly. She would do the same thing is someone had treated Prim the way those girls had treated Peeta. In fact, she’d probably be even worse.

“Because he lets them,” Neil says. “It’s the same with our mother. He never figured out how to ignore her insults the way I did, or say anything to get her to shut up.” He looks up and he shakes his head quickly. “He’s here. But talk to him, alright?”

“I will,” Katniss nods, turning around to see the Maître d leading Peeta to their table. She can’t help but smile at the sight of him. He is trailing behind a little, struggling to button the jacket of his gray suit, tucking in the navy blue tie when he finally gets it.

“Did he know you were wearing that dress?” Neil asks. Katniss looks down and sees that her dress is the exact same color as his tie.

“No,” Katniss laughs, shaking her head. She can’t keep the smile from his face at how he looks. The Hawaiian shirts suit him well, but she wasn’t going to complain about him wearing a perfectly tailored suit, either.

“He cleans up well, doesn’t he?” Neil asks, noticing Katniss’ smile. Her cheeks heat up at his question before she nods. “I bought him that suit when he got his teaching job.”

“It’s very nice,” she says, standing up to greet him. She smiles and takes his hands, looking at him from head to toe, and he does the same. He moves in for a hug and gets close to her ear.

“You look beautiful,” he whispers. “And we match.” He pulls away and Katniss grabs his face finding his lips in the middle of the restaurant. When Peeta doesn’t try to pull away, Katniss deepens the kiss, sucking his bottom lip between her lips and then pulling away.

“What was that for?” Peeta asks, shocked.

“I missed you,” Katniss says. It wasn’t a lie, she did miss him, but it was more than that.  She had to do something to be close to him. After what she’d heard from Neil, she never wanted Peeta to think for a second that she would do anything to hurt him like the others did, and she hopes her kiss held all of the unspoken words that would satiate him until she could talk to him later.

Peeta’s smile almost lights up the dimly lit restaurant. He pulls her closer to him and hugs her tightly, placing a soft, but lingering kiss on her mouth when he finally lets her go. By now, the other diners are beginning to stare, so Katniss takes Peeta’s hand and leads him to the table. Neil is smiling widely, and Gale looks horrified. He has never seen Katniss act this way before.

The relief she feels that he actually kissed her back and even went in for a second is palpable. They had grown over the last month, even if it was a baby step.

“Happy Birthday, Gale,” Peeta says. He is still smiling widely as he scoots his chair in and sets a card down on the table. Neil is still beaming at the two of them when Peeta picks up Katniss’ hand and kisses it.

“Thanks,” Gale says, picking up the card. “You didn’t have to bring me a card, though.” He looks over to Katniss and then to Neil, unsure if he should accept the card given what he just heard. Neil gives the slightest nod, and Gale pulls the card closer, setting it down next to his phone.

“How did the fundraiser go?” Katniss asks. Peeta is in great spirits, so it couldn’t have gone badly, but she wants to hear about it anyway.

“Great,” Peeta answers, setting their hands down on the table, still laced together. “We exceeded the goal, so I’ll have money to get supplies for the new school year, plus extra.” He calls over a waiter to order a drink. “What’s everyone drinking?”

“Nothing more for me, I have to drive,” Neil whines. “But these two had Mojitos.”

“Sucks for you,” Peeta laughs, looking back to the waiter. “3 Mojitos, then. And a bottle of Merlot.”

“Peeta,” Katniss says, trying to tell him not to order it, but he looks at her with such a sweet grin that she can’t get the words out. “I’ll pay for half,” she offers. Peeta looks like he’s ready to argue, but Katniss raises her eyebrows and he closes his mouth.

“Alright,” Peeta nods. He looks up at Neil who is nodding at him, and mouths the words _“It’s okay”._

XX

“Why aren’t you closing your mouth?” Katniss ask as they stumble up the steps to her second floor apartment. “You’re not going to puke are you?”

“What?” Peeta replies. “It’s not closed?”

“No!” Katniss laughs. “It’s just hanging open like you’re catching flies.” She knew it was a good idea that they both took cabs to the restaurant. She has never made it out of one of Gale’s birthday dinners sober and now Peeta is 1 for 1 himself.

It takes Katniss double the time to get her door unlocked, and they both stumble into the living room, where Peeta quickly falls onto the couch, stretching out on his back. Katniss throws her purse on the coffee table and makes for her bedroom.

“Wait!” Peeta calls, stopping her in her tracks. “Where are you going?”

“To change,” Katniss answers.

“No, no,” Peeta says, putting his arms out in her direction. “Come over here and lay down with me.”

“I will, but I want to change!”

“I want you in your dress,” Peeta mumbles. Katniss walks back to the living room, slipping her heels off in front of the table before wordlessly moving to the couch.

“You’re hogging the whole couch,” she slurs, swaying a little.

“Get on top of me,” Peeta suggests. He puts his arms out again and Katniss grabs them to steady herself as she climbs on top of him and settles there. Their chests are flush together, but Peeta opens his legs and Katniss falls between them before he brings his knees in closer, securing her there.

“Hi,” Katniss laughs. “Your mouth is still open.”

“Is it?” He places his fingers on his lips and rubs them. “I can’t feel my lips.”

“Really?” Katniss asks, leaning forward and pushing up on his chin before placing her lips to his. “Did you feel that?” Peeta shakes his head.

“Nope,” he says with a smirk. “Maybe you should use your tongue.”

Katniss obliges, leaning forward again and meeting Peeta’s open mouth. She laughs at his inability to close his mouth and raises her hand further to move his hair off his forehead when out of nowhere, Peeta closes his mouth around her tongue and begins to suck.

“I still love how you taste,” Peeta breathes into her mouth. Katniss pulls away at the statement and eyes Peeta.

“You know, you can tell me that when you’re not drunk,” she says.

“Yeah?” Peeta asks, raising an eyebrow.

“In fact, I’d prefer it that way, so I know it’s not just the alcohol making you say it.”

“I wasn’t drunk the last time I said it,” Peeta reminds her. He reaches his hand up her back and finds the zipper on her dress. Slowly, he begins to pull it down, using his other hand to rub the skin that is now uncovered. “Is this ok?”

“Yes,” Katniss sighs. His warm hands feel so good running up and down her spine, there is no other answer. Their lips come together again, and neither one of them can stop the sighs that are escaping their mouths every time their lips are apart, and suddenly Katniss knows – they’re there.

But it can’t happen tonight, not like this. Not because of alcohol, and not when they haven’t even talked about what Neil revealed tonight. Without a single word uttered between them, they pull apart at the same time, panting and red faced. They stare at each other, a current of electricity between them, and shake their heads.

“I want to do this sober,” Peeta says. He makes the mistake of shifting at that moment, which causes his growing erection to push against Katniss’ pelvis. He moans when she pushes back on him as she tries to move off of him.

“Me too,” Katniss says. She has slid down onto the floor and Peeta cracks a smile.

“How’d you get down there?” He asks. He pushes himself up to sit and Katniss uses his knee to push herself off the floor.

“Bed?” she says, putting her hand out for him to take. He stands up and follows her into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed and toeing his shoes off when they get there.

“Shit,” he says, falling back onto the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Katniss asks.

“I forgot my bag at home,” he says. “My neighbor caught me when I got home earlier and she wouldn’t stop talking. I was in such a hurry when the cab driver called that I forgot to grab it on my way out.”

“You don’t have anything extra here?”

“No, I brought everything home today to bring fresh clothes back for this coming week,” he sighs.

“I’d offer you my polar bear pants, but I don’t think they’d fit,” Katniss jokes. “You really should just leave clothes here for good.” She walks over to him and pulls on his tie until he sits back up, staring at her.

His mouth is hanging open again and she shakes her head at him, using the moment to find the courage to pull her dress from her shoulders, shimmying until it falls down to her feet. She stands there for a moment, while Peeta stares at her in just a black bra and panties before stepping out of the dress and grabbing Peeta’s tie again, loosening it and pulling it over his head.

“You don’t have to wear clothes to bed,” she murmurs, going for his suit jacket next, pushing it off and to the floor to join her dress. Peeta reaches out and runs his fingers across Katniss’ stomach, causing her to laugh. “That tickles,” she says as she unbuttons his white dress shirt. He pulls his arms from the shirt and discards it with the rest; Katniss stops there, taking the time to let her eyes graze his chest admiringly, suddenly feeling more sober than she has since the wine arrived at their table.

“It’s alright,” Peeta says, grabbing her hand. “You can touch me.” His left hand is moving up and down her side now, as his right hand holds her left. “I want you to.” He presses her hand to the center of his chest and she sighs. Just as warm as his hands. She can feel his heart beating under her touch and he guides her hand down further, stopping when they reach his belt buckle. “Take them off.” He isn’t slurring his words anymore, and his voice is direct. She looks up into his eyes and there’s an intensity there that she’s never seen before, and she wonders if it’s the way intensity that sparked him to send those text messages. He’s still holding onto her hand wrist, despite his earlier instruction, and slowly, he directs her hand further and settling on the front of his pants before lifting his hips slightly to meet her palm. “Feel that?” he asks, not moving his eyes from hers. He continues to thrust his hips, purposefully rubbing himself against Katniss’ hand, never letting his eyes stray.

She pulls the belt from the buckle with her free hand unable to tear her eyes from his and she pops the button of his pants and drags the zipper down. Peeta lifts his hips even higher, allowing her to yank the pants from his hips, pulling them from his legs, along with his socks.

The gray band of his otherwise black boxer briefs rest perfectly on his hips, and Katniss doesn’t let herself contemplate her next move. She needs to feel him without the pants on. She settles her hand back over his erection and he wastes no time thrusting into it again, moaning as he does it. Her other hand finds his chest, pushing him back down on the bed and crawling over him, straddling his hips. He grips her back with one hand while propelling both of them back, kicking the covers down as he moves.

They slip under the sheets and Katniss takes his lip between her teeth, releasing it just in time to feel Peeta’s tongue trace the inside of her bottom lip. She involuntarily bucks her hips, matching his movement and sliding her middle over the bulge in his boxer briefs, and he moans into her mouth, following it up with a groan of protest when she pulls away and slides off of him, curling up on her side and resting her head on his chest.

Their hands meet and fall to the mattress, fingers laced together, while Peeta’s free hand ghosts over Katniss’s back, hesitating slightly before dipping down into the back of her panties and coming to rest on her ass. They settle in, trying to calm themselves down before they do something they’ll regret later.  

Eventually, their breathing slows and they begin to relax, wrapped up in each other. Neither of them moves again until morning.

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chaos, Passion, and Another Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter took me much longer to write than I anticipated it would. I've been itching to write it since I outlined the story and in the end that ended up putting some pressure on me to make it as good as it was in my head. I'm still not sure that I accomplished that, but there's really nothing else that I can possibly do to improve it.

_“Are you alone?”_

_“Yeah... Why?”_

Gale doesn’t waste time sending a text back; Katniss’ phone begins to ring less than a minute later, though she isn’t sure that she even wants to talk to him right now after how he acted last night.  It’s the urge to find out how bad his hangover is that gets her to answer the call.

“You’re up awfully early,” she says when she picks up. “After the way Neil had to practically carry you to the car last night, I figured you’d still be asleep.”

“Well he said you and Peeta weren’t too far off yourselves,” Gale replies.

“Mr. and Mr. Gossip over there, it seems,” Katniss notes, her irritation rising. She wasn’t going to admit that she woke up with a pounding headache. Thankfully after a few aspirin and a lot of water over the last two hours, she was feeling better.

“Speaking of that,” Gale begins, not noticing or caring about Katniss’ agitation. “That was some shit we heard last night, huh? About Peeta.”

“I’m not talking about this right now,” Katniss says coldly. “And especially not with you.”

The only person she wants to talk to about everything she’d heard last night is Peeta, and she is planning to do that today. Even if she doesn’t know how she’ll get him to talk yet without telling him that she already knows, it is a talk that they need to have sooner rather than later.

Peeta left early this morning, throwing the pants and dress shirt of his suit back on and slipping his feet into the shiny black dress shoes without tying them. He kissed Katniss awake, letting her know that he had to go home to get his car, his bag, and to make sure his suit was hung up, but he promised to be back by noon.

“Why not?” Gale asks. His own rising irritation is evident in his tone, and he sighs into the phone.  “We used to always talk about everything.”

“I’m not going to talk about Peeta’s business behind his back,” Katniss reasons. “Especially since he doesn’t even know that we are aware of it. I won’t do that to him. Last night was bad enough.”

“That’s never stopped you from talking about the guys you date before. What are you trying to protect him or something?” Gale scoffs. “Katniss Everdeen sweeps in and takes all of Peeta’s pain away? That’s a switch for you.”

“What’s the supposed to mean?”

“Aren’t you the one that usually dumps the guys you see after a couple of months?” Gale reminds her. “I’m just trying to figure out why you suddenly care so much when you never did before.”

“Oh, you mean why didn’t I care about the _pigs_ that you told Neil about?” Katniss snaps, remembering what Peeta said to her a month ago. She still hadn’t yelled at Gale about it, but if he wanted to go there now, she was ready to. “What were you trying to accomplish by telling him that, Gale?”

“I just casually pointed out your pattern to him,” Gale says. “He was talking about you and Peeta like you were about to get married or something.”

“So you tell him this and then try to act like the hero, sticking up for me when Neil begins to question my intentions? That’s real nice. Why do _you_ care so much?” Katniss questions. “Who are you actually calling the pig here? Them or me?”

“Katniss, you’ve never committed to a guy in your life…” Gale stops talking, but Katniss can tell he did not finish his sentence.

“What exactly does commit mean to you?” Katniss asks. “Going out specifically to find a husband? Vowing to marry the first guy that gives you any attention? Not moving your head in the direction of anyone else when you’re dating someone? Because that’s all I can think of – the things that _you_ do and I do not. I am _so very sorry_ that I’m not you, Gale.” She cannot hide the sarcasm in her words. “Forgive me for actually knowing how to exist on my own without yearning for a husband to validate my existence like you.”

“Katniss…”

“How long did you wait before you slept with Neil?” she asks.

“Katniss…”

“How long, Gale?”

“Three days,” Gale mumbles into the phone.

“And how many guys did you have before him? I’ve lost track,” Katniss retorts. “And remember that time you thought it’d be easier to just settled down with a woman? How many did you try before you realized that wasn’t what you wanted? How many did you lead on?”

“That’s not…”

“Shut up,” Katniss says firmly. “What does that make you, Gale? Is it alright for you because you can use the excuse that you were just out looking for your knight in shining armor the whole time? Is it alright because nobody can put up with you for long periods of time? Is it alright for you, because unlike me, you wanted to marry every single one of them? Or is it simply because you’re a _man_ and you have _urges_?”

“I was just trying to say…”

“What you were saying,” Katniss raises her voice, cutting him off again. “Is that I’m a pig because I’ve never had to lead anyone on and make them think I wanted more from them, even though the whole time I was only forcing myself to like them, unlike you. I’m a pig because I was content with casual relationships that I knew wouldn’t go anywhere. Thanks for being too much of a coward to say this to me before, and thanks for the support.”

“Because you always supported me, right?” Gale asks, raising his voice too. “Making fun of me at every turn for wanting to find someone that makes me happy, rolling your eyes when I tell you about how I feel, and pretending to gag when I mention falling in love?”

“Why is this a problem for you _now_?” Katniss asks, thinking back to their conversations and how they’ve talked less and less over the last month. “It’s Peeta, isn’t it?” When Gale doesn’t answer, she continues. “You’re pissed and you’re jealous because he’s taking me away from you, just like you said he was going to. But rather than being an adult about it and accepting that things are changing, you decide to be an asshole about it.”

“Everything is changing so fast, Katniss,” Gale sounds sad now.

“So you think that by trying to talk to me about how those bitches fucked Peeta over, and throwing old relationships of my own back in my face as a reminder that I don’t want to commit to anyone, it’ll honestly get me to reconsider my relationship just because you can’t cope with being number 2 in my life?”

“I don’t even know how to talk to you anymore,” Gale admits. “You are so different.”

“I thought this was what you wanted?” Katniss asks. “I am finally beginning to understand you and the things you’ve always said about relationships, but right now you’re making it impossible for me to even like you.”

“I just miss you,” Gale says. “I miss going to lunch or dinner with you whenever we wanted, now I have to schedule time with you because of _him_.”

“ _Him_. Your _boyfriend’s_ little brother!” Katniss shouts. “You told me to marry him the first night I met him!”

“That was a joke.”

“So you don’t want me to be happy, then?” She squeezes the bridge of her nose with her fingers before continuing. “Only you’re allowed that privilege, but at the same time it’s alright for you to call me a pig because I still want to enjoy myself? I guess I can’t win with you, can I? Because if Gale is unhappy, then nobody else is allowed to be happy either, right? Try worrying about being number one in Neil’s life now, and try getting over the fact that there’s someone else I care about in _my_ life now that isn’t you.”

She ends the call without giving Gale the chance to say another word, throwing her phone to the other side of the couch. How can he be so selfish? What gives him the right to want to rain on the possibility of her happiness, but expect happiness of his own? It is wrong, and it is a double standard, and Katniss thought he was better than that.

She has to talk to Peeta. Today. No matter what it means for their future. The fight with Gale has only made her resolve to move past the way they have been operating. Over the last month, things have definitely changed, but they were still dancing around each other. They were being too polite, too scared… too secretive. She gets up from the couch, leaving her phone where she threw it, and hurries to shower and change before Peeta gets back.

XX

Katniss hears his light knock – always in the same cadence – on the door not long after noon. She jogs down the hall while buttoning up her green, plaid shirt, pulling the hem down over her jeans when she finishes. She opens the door for him and smiles, wordlessly stepping aside to let him walk in.

“I hope you didn’t eat,” he says, walking into the apartment. She notices his hair is still damp, making the curls that frame his ears look darker. – He must have showered too. He’s in fresh clothes: his usual Chucks and dark jeans, and a bluish gray t-shirt.

“I didn’t,” Katniss shakes her head, rolling up the sleeves. “Mario Kart?” She asks, observing the winged blue shell on Peeta’s shirt with the words “Second is the best” written underneath.

“Yeah,” Peeta says with a light chuckle. “You play?”

“Sure,” Katniss says. “Prim has a Wii, and I was over there a lot over the summer last year to see her when she was home and we got around to playing it pretty competitively. She’s not coming home this summer though, so I guess there will be no tournaments.” She looks down, and for the first time, notices the other bag he is carrying. “What do you have there?”

“Oh yeah,” Peeta says, lifting the bag up to eye level. “Lunch. I hope you like grilled cheese.”

“Grilled cheese?” Katniss says, raising an eyebrow. “We could have just made some here.”

“Not these.” He shakes his head and walks over to the dining room table, setting the bag down. “These are gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches.”

“Gourmet?” Katniss asks. “What’s gourmet about them?”

“Well, I got you the buffalo chicken,” Peeta explains. “I remember you mentioning once that you love buffalo chicken.” He pulls out a Styrofoam to-go container with the letters “BC” written on top and opens it. Katniss is met with the largest grilled cheese sandwich she’s ever seen in her life. “It has breaded chicken, buffalo sauce, blue cheese and celery slaw on Texas toast, and,” he says, putting his arm in the bag again, pulling out a small cup. “Ranch dip, if that’s your thing.”

“Peeta, you didn’t have to do this,” Katniss says, peering into the container. It did look delicious.

“I wanted to,” he replies. “Everyone needs to experience a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich some time in their life.”

“Well, what’d you get then?” Katniss asks, looking into the bag. Peeta pulls out the second container with the letters “CM” written on the top, and a bottle of water that he takes long pull from before moving to the sandwich container.

“It’s called a Cuban Melt,” he begins. “This one has honey ham, roasted pulled pork, fried pickles, honey mustard, and Swiss.”

“These sound like the most ridiculous grilled cheese sandwiches on Earth,” Katniss laughs.

“They are,” Peeta agrees. “But they’re delicious.”

“Let’s go eat in the living room,” Katniss says, picking up her food container and walking toward the living room with Peeta not far behind. “Beer?”

“Yes,” Peeta nods with a smile as he sits down.  “Is that weird that I want one, even though I still have a headache from last night?” At the mention of last night, Katniss can’t stop her eyes from moving down to the front of his jeans, instantly remembering what he felt like grazing her palm – how hard he was when be pressed himself into her hand. She is just beginning to wonder what he did in the shower at his apartment when his voice breaks her out of her thoughts. “Katniss?”

“What?” She asks, tearing her eyes away and looking at his face. He doesn’t look confused. In fact, he looks like he knows exactly what she was thinking. He smirks at her, but it’s gone again so quickly that Katniss has to question if he really even did it. “Right, the beer.”

“Here,” Katniss says when she returns with two beers and aspirin. “Take those, and finish your water before the beer.” She sits next to Peeta on the couch, setting the container with her sandwich in it on her lap.

“Was this what your morning looked like?” Peeta laughs, dropping the pills into his mouth and grabbing his bottle of water to wash them down.

“Pretty much. Wine always goes right to my head.”

“I shouldn’t have ordered an entire bottle,” Peeta says.

“We shouldn’t have _finished_ an entire bottle,” Katniss corrects. “Plus the Mojitos.” She looks down at the large sandwich sitting in her lap and squints at it. “How do you even begin to eat one of these?”

“Just dig in,” Peeta says, grabbing the first half of his sandwich and taking a huge bite.

“Contrary to popular belief, your mouth is bigger than mine,” Katniss reminds him.

“So cut it in fourths,” Peeta suggests with a shrug. Katniss hops off the couch with her sandwich and heads to the kitchen to cut it.

“Do you want to cut yours, too?” She calls to Peeta.

“Sure, why not?” Peeta laughs.

She hands the knife to him when she returns to the living room, picking up a slice of sandwich and taking a bite. It is quite possibly the best thing she has ever tasted.

“This is really, really good,” Katniss says. Peeta smiles at her.

“I’m glad you like it. Want to try mine?” She nods and Peeta grabs a slice of his sandwich and brings it to her mouth, keeping his other hand under it in case it drips. “Bite.” She takes a bite, keeping her eyes trained on Peeta’s face. He’s looking right at her mouth, and when he pulls the sandwich away, she drags her tongue across her bottom lip, making sure there is no mustard left behind. Peeta’s eyes don’t move away once, and his own tongue creeps out of his mouth, licking his lips before taking a bite of the same slice.

“Shit, that one is good too,” Katniss says after she’s finished chewing. She waits for Peeta to swallow his bite before she asks her next question. “Do they make anything that tastes bad?”

“Probably not,” Peeta grins, grabbing for more sandwich.

XX

“Thank you, that was delicious,” Katniss says, closing the now empty container and setting it on the coffee table.

“You’re welcome.” Peeta leans back on the couch and stretches his legs. It would be so much easier to just ignore everything that is standing in their way right now. Kiss him and resume where they left off last night, but she can’t do it. She knows there’s no time left to put it off – it’s time to talk to him.

“You know,” Katniss begins, pulling her legs up from the floor and sitting cross legged on the couch. “Nobody has ever surprised me with lunch before.”

“Really?” Peeta says, sounding shocked. “Not even Gale?”

“Especially not Gale,” Katniss replies, trying not to let in the anger that she still feels from their fight this morning. “We meet for lunch sometimes, but that is about it.” She looks down at the couch cushion and brushes away a stray crumb from lunch.

“Were you and Gale ever…?”

“No, no!” Katniss answers quickly. “He had a period where he tried going straight for a while.” Katniss explains.

“Neil had a few of those.”

“Gale told me I wasn’t his type, not that I was offering or anything. He always says he’d marry me before he let me become an old cat lady, but he made it clear that was never truly going to be an option very quickly. I wouldn’t want that anyway.”

“Because you’re a woman,” Peeta laughs.

“Right,” Katniss says, joining in the laughter. “But what I’m trying to say is the guys I’ve dated in the past, well…”

“Were they really pigs?” Peeta asks suddenly.

“No,” Katniss shakes her head. “They were nice guys, but they weren’t the ones that’ll be settling down any time soon. The thing you have to understand about Gale is that he thinks anyone that doesn’t regard romance in the same way that he does is wrong.”

“Even you?”

“Even me,” she nods. “I’m not saying the guys I’ve dated have been princes or anything. We both knew things wouldn’t go far. Besides, I’ve never been in a relationship that I’ve wanted to stay in for very long anyway.” She sees Peeta’s face drop and he bows his head before speaking.

“Why not?”

“I’ve never found it necessary,” Katniss shrugs. “At home, Prim has this binder full of pictures of wedding dresses and wedding theme ideas. She watches those shows about weddings all the time too. It’s like, despite the fact that she’s working so hard in school, she can only dream of her perfect wedding.”

“And you don’t?”

“Never have,” Katniss answers. “It just always felt weak to me.”

“It’s not.”

“I know.” She wrings her hands together, trying to ignore how hurt Peeta looks right now. “I just don’t want to end up like my mother.”

“What’s wrong with your mother?” Peeta asks, tilting his head.

“Nothing at all,” Katniss says. “Unless you consider living only for your husband a problem.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s so much more to life than that,” Katniss begins. “She’s so in love with my father that at times it seems like nothing else in the world matters to her. Not even me and Prim. I can’t imagine existing only for one person.”

“I understand,” Peeta says. “But at the same time, I think it’s kind of nice that they’re still so in love with each other. I’m not sure my parents ever really were in love – at least not with each other.” He turns to face Katniss. “You don’t have to completely lose yourself if you fall in love, you know.”

“I know that too,” Katniss says. “But I’ve never been in a relationship where I felt like it was worth it to let things happen. Maybe that’s what Gale meant by pigs – guys that were clearly not going to commit. And maybe I picked them for a reason. Because I knew they wouldn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never tried to make the relationships work. Never cared to. And I’m realizing now that I was trying to do the same thing with you, and it was wrong of me to do that, and it was wrong of me to get mad at you for not conforming to what I’m used to, because it’s different with you. It has always been different with you, and I know now that what I’m used to isn’t going to work this time.” She didn’t realize it before, but she could see it clearly now. Things had been different from the day they met, and even though she never planned to tell Peeta this much, she couldn’t seem to stop herself now that she had started. “I don’t even talk this much, usually,” Katniss explains, smirking slightly, but it vanishes the minute she sees the terror in Peeta’s face.

He’s sitting cross legged on the couch now too, pulling at the hem of his shirt with both hands. He looks down, inspecting the fabric in his fingers as he sighs heavily and lifts his head.

“Do you think we’re worth it?” he asks softly.

She isn’t answering right away. Not because she isn’t sure, but because she can’t seem to get the words over the lump that has formed in her throat, and she can’t concentrate on anything but the burning sensation in her nose and the blur in her vision as the tears creep in. Was she actually about to cry? Clearing her throat, she mutters the answer in a choked voice.

“Yes.”

He furrows his eyebrows, clearly shocked by her emotion, but then breaks into a grin so large, Katniss wonders if he’ll ever be able to wipe it off his face. He leans forward and takes her head in his hands, gently pulling her toward him, bringing their lips together in a gentle kiss that quickly deepens, but there’s nothing about it that tells Katniss to stop it. It doesn’t indicate that things are going to escalate, the need behind it isn’t sexual – it’s emotional.

She hadn’t planned this. To be the one to share details of her past. That is what Peeta was supposed to be doing. When he pulls away, he looks at her and she can see his eyes have grown sad again.

“I’ve told you that I haven’t had much luck in relationships,” Peeta begins and Katniss braces herself, wondering if this was it. If all she had to do to get him to open up was to be the one to do it first and to let him know that she wanted this to work just as much as he obviously did.

“When I was a freshman in high school I had this girlfriend, Clove. She was a junior, but she seemed to like me. We started dating, well… I’m not even sure what we were doing could be called dating, really. I couldn’t exactly take her anywhere since the only transportation I had was a bike, but my dad brought me to her house a lot, or I’d go home with her in her car after school.”

Katniss nods, but says nothing else.

“I lost my virginity to her,” Peeta says. “And not long after that she told me she was pregnant, and it was mine.” Even though Katniss just heard this story last night, her look of shock is still genuine. Hearing this from Peeta was a lot harder to deal with than she thought it would be, and he had only just started. “I was ready to take responsibility. I mean, as much as I could at 14. I told my parents what happened. My father was disappointed, but my mother never really seemed to believe it.”

“What did you do?”

“I tried to ignore it. Neil always told me to ignore her. There were more important things happening, or so I thought there were. I took care of Clove the whole time, brought her everything I could, whenever I could and when she finally had that baby, and my mother demanded we take a paternity test, Clove broke down and confessed that she’d been pregnant before we even had sex, and was still seeing the real father. I wasn’t sure what hit me.”

Katniss reaches out and takes Peeta’s hand; she can feel it shaking and tries to steady it by placing her other hand on top of it. His free hand finds his pocket, pulling out a mint and popping it into his mouth.

“Sorry,” he mutters, showing her the wrapper.

“It’s alright,” Katniss says. He has been trying so hard not to rely on the old habit of eating a mint when he gets nervous, but today his nerves have already gotten the best of him. “Say what you need to say,” she encourages, not wanting him to try to change the subject.

“I mean, I obviously wasn’t ready to be a father, but to think the entire time that I was going to be and finding out just how wrong I was to believe it… that hurts,” Peeta explains. “And then my mother laughed about it. She said she knew all along it wasn’t mine, I wasn’t capable of getting anyone pregnant because I wasn’t a man, and I was never going to be one.”

Katniss shakes her head in disbelief. This is so much worse hearing it from Peeta. Having to see how upset it still makes him over a decade later is painful for her to see, but she knows this has to happen. It’s the only thing that’s keeping her from telling him that he doesn’t have say any more.

“And she’s why I did it to begin with,” Peeta admits. “Everyone knows that’s why I did it, even though I’ve never said that out loud to anyone before.  I wanted to prove that I wasn’t gay and that all of those names she called me were untrue. And I hate myself now for feeling like I had to do something like that just to prove something to a woman that’ll never support me no matter what I do.”

“I’m sorry, Peeta.” She doesn’t know what else to say. Neil had suspected this was why he did it, but Peeta would never admit it to him. The fact that he admitted it to Katniss is almost overwhelming.

“So after that I never really had steady girlfriends, but I made sure I slept with a few now and then so the whole school wouldn’t start calling me gay. It didn’t matter if you told people what you did or not, they somehow knew anyway, and that was all I needed at the time. For people to know that I was hooking up even if I didn’t have a girl on my arm between classes.”

“Your mother really made it that bad for you that you felt that you had to prove something to people that didn’t even matter?” Katniss asks gently.

“It felt like everyone mattered at the time,” Peeta says. “I know now that they didn’t. And I don’t know why I was so desperate to prove I was straight. Who cares?”

“Well your mother didn’t exactly make it easy for you,” Katniss reminds him. She tries to keep the anger that she feels toward his mother out of her voice.

“I’ll never forgive myself for acting like that,” Peeta explains. “For being ashamed and fearful of being accused of being gay.”

“You were young.”

“It doesn’t matter, I still did it. And then when Neil told me that he was gay, that just made it even worse, because there I was, trying so hard to prove that I wasn’t gay, and for what reason? My brother is gay and he’s not a different person because of it. It helped me understand that none of it mattered.”

“Well that’s good then,” Katniss says. Peeta nods.

“So after that I thought I’d try dating again. I waited until I left for college though, because I didn’t want to get into a relationship only to have to leave. When I got there, after a month or so I met Glimmer. She was a few years older, but lived near campus. I met her at the restaurant she worked at.”

“Really?” Katniss asks. These are details that Neil did not have access to.

“Yeah,” Peeta says, shrugging. “She was really sweet at first.”

“At first?”

“Only at first,” Peeta says with a bitter laugh. “She had a daughter, but I didn’t mind. She was a nice kid, very polite for being so young.”

“How old was she?”

“She was 2 when we met,” Peeta answers. “4 when we Glimmer and I finally broke up for good.”

“You were with her for 2 years?” Katniss asks. She tries to keep her voice even, because she’s not supposed to know yet exactly what Glimmer did to him, but she can’t believe that he stayed with her for that long.

“Just about,” Peeta begins. “It was one of those on again, off again things, though, so who knows exactly how long it was when you put all of the on again time together.”

“What happened?”

“After a few months, she started to talk about how she couldn’t pay her light bill, or her heat was about to be shut off, so I paid the bills with the money my parents would send me if she got behind so that her daughter would have heat or lights in the house.” He sighs and then continues. “Eventually I ended up taking over all of her bills and had to start using money that I made at my measly part time job to cover them, and when I finally told her I couldn’t do it anymore, that’s when she got even worse.”

“How can you get worse than that?” Katniss asks.

“Threats,” Peeta replies. “Threats that she’d kill herself if the bills weren’t paid, threats to tell people that she caught me touching her daughter inappropriately, which would ruin any chance I’d ever have at becoming a teacher.”

“Is that why you stayed with her for almost two years?” Katniss asks.

“I didn’t feel like I had any choice,” Peeta says. He looks away from Katniss, scanning the room around him, looking uncomfortable. With his head turned in the direction of the TV he goes for another mint and starts to speak again. “And then she started to take…” The words seem to die in his throat.

“What?” Katniss urges.

“She’d take advantage of stuff I liked to do in bed,” Peeta says quickly. “And then after, she’d say to me ‘Well, I did that for you, now you can do something for me,’ which meant paying a bill for her or buying her and her daughter clothes or a toy.” He grabs his beer and drains the rest of it. “I had to sell my computer, my X-Box, and all of my games in order to afford the bills near the end.”

It was all starting to make sense now. He’d said he had to sell his stuff to pay bills, he just never said whose bills he was paying with the money.

“She finally left when she realized she’d exhausted every last dime from me, and that I had nothing left to give her. That includes the savings my parents had built up for me when I was a kid.”

Katniss has no idea what to say. How can she possibly apologize to him again? What would she even be apologizing for? For the fact that he picked people that took advantage of his vulnerabilities? Do you really apologize to someone for that?

“You don’t have to answer,” Peeta says, almost reading her mind. “I just think it’s time you know this, since you think this relationship is worth it. I just hope you still think so after all of this.”

“I still think so,” Katniss nods.

“I didn’t tell you about Cashmere yet,” he reminds her. That’s right, the one that was like his mother.

“What happened with her?”

“She liked to insult me to try to get her way,” Peeta says with a shrug. He laughs that same bitter laugh from earlier. “According to her I couldn’t do anything right. She wanted me to take her to places like Pacifica every night of the week, and buy her purses and heels that cost a month’s pay.”

“And you couldn’t,” Katniss says.

“Of course not,” Peeta replies. “Not after Glimmer. And even if that hadn’t happen, still wouldn’t have been able to, and I didn’t want to either. I was only with her for a little over 6 months.”

“Was she always insulting you like that?”

“Pretty much,” Peeta says. “At the time, I thought maybe that was the kind of person I needed to be with. Someone that treated me like my mother. I thought maybe that was how people like them showed they cared.”

“No.” Katniss shakes her head.

“I get that now.” He squeezes her hands. “She truly insulted everything I did. I couldn’t satisfy her in bed, I didn’t make enough money to keep her happy, and I had an embarrassing job. This was back when I was still doing subbing at different schools, so that was embarrassing to her that I didn’t have a steady job.” Katniss shakes her head at his revelations. “She hated when I suggested we go to the art museum. The art museum is free, so why would I take her there? That was her reason for not wanting to go with me, so I’d just go alone. She said I was weird for wanting to go to a drive-in 40 miles away, so I never went. She would never agree to go to any of the places that I suggested, it always had to be her places, which isn’t a big deal, but of course they were always insanely expensive and I couldn’t afford them.”

Katniss thinks back to their dates. Brunch, the museum, pizza, the drive-in. All planned by Peeta.

“When you took me to all of those places, were you testing me?”

“I guess I was in a way, though not consciously. Every time I’d suggest a place I waited for you to refuse and suggest something else, but you never did. In fact, you’ve seemed to enjoy where I’ve taken you so far.”

“I did enjoy them,” Katniss smiles.

“Good,” Peeta smiles back.

“What happened with Cashmere?”

“I broke up with her; she went quietly but then wouldn’t stop calling me for a while. I never picked up her calls, so she’d leave a half dozen voicemails every few days. They started sweet. She missed me, she wanted to see me, and then they got increasingly nasty. She tried to act like I was the worst person in the world, and I believed her for a while.” He lets out a breath and his shoulders slump down. “That was exhausting to tell, but that’s really it. I didn’t date again until I met you. I just put everything into teaching.”

“I’m sorry,” Katniss says again. She wasn’t sure what she was sorry for, but she felt like she had to say it again and again. “You’re not a bad person, either. In fact, you may be one of the best I’ve ever met.” Peeta smiles and grabs her chin, tilting her head up and kissing her lightly. “Do you want to play some Skyrim? Maybe try clear your head and relax?”

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Peeta nods. He looks relieved and more relaxed than she has ever seen him, even after this last month of getting to know each other. Now that everything was on the table and they knew what their relationship meant, things were starting to truly feel genuine, and she can tell Peeta has the same idea going through his head, just by the look on his face.

XX

“Fuck, I can’t fast travel there yet,” Peeta whines, pausing the game. “Can I have another beer?”

“Help yourself,” Katniss says, trying to hold her smile back.

“Do you want another one too?” He asks. At Katniss’ nod, he gets up from the couch and heads to the kitchen. She watches him walk away, disappearing into the kitchen and returning quickly with a beer in each hand. But the only thing she can focus on is the front of his jeans again, thinking once again back to last night.

He sits down on the couch, handing a beer to Katniss, but she sets it down on the table, not worrying about opening it yet. She sits on the edge of the couch, watching Peeta as he pries the lid off the bottle and sets the cap and opener on the table. He leans back and stares at the paused game on the television, sighing and taking a sip of beer.

“I don’t really want to walk all the way to that city right now,” he says.  “I think I’m done playing. You should resume your saved game now. I want to see you play.” He finally looks over at her and sees her staring. “What?”

“Do you really want to watch me play a game right now?” she asks. She keeps staring, trying to convey to him what she’s thinking about. Him. His body, his lips, the way he felt, and the sounds he made when she touched him last night. He stares back at her, not speaking. “What are you thinking about?” she asks.

“You,” he answers his voice low. “Always you. How your hair smells, what your voice sounds like when you sing, how your fingers feel when they’re tangled in my hair,” he stops and looks down at her legs, slowly dragging his eyes upward until he’s back to her face. “And your ass in those jeans.”

She moves closer to him calmly, taking the beer from his hand and setting it down on the coffee table. When she returns, his hands find her jaw, guiding her to his mouth. She can immediately tell that this is nothing like the kisses they shared earlier.

Peeta plants a small kiss on her lips then licks his own. When she moves in to find his lips again, he pulls his head back slightly, forcing her to chase his mouth until he’s seated perfectly flush with the back of the couch.

Katniss pulls her legs in and moves up, pushing herself up on her knees and grabbing Peeta’s head so he can’t move again. Finally, he lets her kiss him, smiling against her mouth as they drink each other in. He begins to pull her toward him, and she has to put her hand on the back of the couch so she doesn’t fall over.

“Sit on my lap,” he says, pulling away. She swings her leg over his and climbs into his lap, finally running her fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with her fingernails. His hair is dry now, but she can still smell his shampoo as she moves her fingers through the curls that fall loosely over his head.

“You showered when you went home,” she points out, moving right back in to kiss him after she finishes speaking. She sets her knees down on either side of him and lifts herself up, bringing his head to her chest, kissing the top of his head. “I was thinking earlier about what you did when you were in there.” He looks up at her, his chin resting on her chest and smiles mischievously – he knows what she means.

“I didn’t do anything,” he answers innocently. He grabs her hips and pulls her down, lifting his own to meet her middle, keeping his hold on her, crushing them together. She can feel his hardness pressing into her again, just like last night. “Not without you there to help me,” he moans, pushing up and into her again. “I wanted to wait, torture myself a little bit. Twitch and come alive every time I looked at you. And then,” he says, kissing her quickly. “When the moment was right,” another kiss. He moves quickly, flipping Katniss over and pinning her to the couch in a sitting position.

He slides down off the couch and kneels in front of her, then without a word, moves his hands to the front of her jeans and opens them. She’s breathing hard as she watches him, that same darkness that she saw in his eyes last night is back now as he hooks his fingers in the top of her jeans, wiggling them down further to grasp the elastic of her panties, and with a hurried pull, drags them down, backing up and tugging the cuffs over her feet until the pants are off completely. His hands wrap around her calves and he pulls her closer to the edge of the couch.

She falls back with the force, unable to see Peeta anymore, but then hears his belt buckle. Quickly, she pushes herself back into a sitting position just in time to see him push his pants and boxer briefs down past his hips and take himself in his hand. She wants to move forward and wrap her own hand around his dick, but she can’t stop staring at him stroking himself, hissing when he drags his palm over the head. She remembers how he talked about wanting her to do that in his texts. He must like that.

He lets go of his erection and looks up, meeting her eyes. There’s a question there, and Katniss nods to let him know that it’s alright to keep going. He grabs her knees and spreads her legs, wedging himself between them and leans forward, bringing his mouth to her ear.

“I want to see how wet you are for me,” he murmurs. Katniss can’t hold back the moan that escapes from her mouth at the sound of his voice – low and unchaste. “And then I want to taste you.” He reaches between her legs and slips two fingers between her folds, dragging them upward and removing them abruptly. He moves away from her ear and looks her in the eyes as he brings his fingers to his mouth, shiny and slick with her need. He sucks them clean, eyes closed and humming from the back of his throat. With his fingers still in his mouth, he moves his free hand down to his dick, taking it in hand once more as he positions himself at her entrance and pushes in to the hilt in one barreling movement.

Katniss gasps as the sensation of Peeta suddenly filling her consumes every nerve in her body. He moves his hips back, withdrawing himself completely before advancing again until his hips can’t go any further. She begins to move her hips in unison with him; the only sounds are their moans and the sounds of their skin meeting with each thrust.

Her hands are planted firmly on the couch, keeping her body upright, staring right at Peeta as they work together. He looks down and groans at the sight of him disappearing inside of her over and over again. She can feel her orgasm building as she snakes her legs up and wraps them around Peeta’s waist, forcing him to go deeper. He wraps his arms around her back, bringing his hands to the back of her head as he begins deep, shallow thrusts while his pelvis hits her clit every time he drives into her.

She pulls her hands off the couch quickly, wrapping her arms around Peeta’s neck and holding on, tangling her fingers in the hair at the back of his head, moaning loudly while he hits a spot so deep inside of her she didn’t even know where she ended and he began anymore. She was there. With one last thrust toward Peeta’s hips Katniss’ walls came down around his dick. Her hands grip and pull his hair as each wave of release washes over her.

Peeta keeps moving, his moans getting louder and louder with each clench from Katniss. He moves to her ear, breathing heavily and letting each moan linger a little longer than he had been before he speaks.

“I’m going to come,” he tells her. She pulls on his hair, encouraging him. “Where do you want it?” he asks, his voice hushed and cracked. The words are out of her mouth before she can even realize what she was saying.

“Inside me.” He pulls away to stare at her, and she can see the question in his eyes. She nods her silent response, telling him that it is alright. “Come inside me,” she repeats, tightening her legs around his waist.

His movements speed up, slamming into her before dropping his head into the crook of her neck. She feels his dick stiffen even more inside her before he cries out, bringing his mouth down on her clothed shoulder, biting it as he comes. The sounds that are coming from the back of his throat as he bites down send a ball of fire straight into her stomach and she pulls his hair again as he finishes.

The room is quiet except for the sounds of their breathing – heavy and ragged. Peeta’s head is still buried in Katniss’ shoulder when he begins to laugh. Finally, he brings his head up, shaking it as he looks at Katniss with flushed cheeks and a smirk on his face.

“That was not how I imagined this would go,” he laughs, moving back to pull out of her. “Not how I imagined it at all.” Katniss joins in on the laughter at the thought of Peeta fantasizing about what their first time would be like, only to end up getting so caught up that they end up fucking on the couch quickly while barely undressing.

“How did you imagine it?” Katniss asks.

“Slower,” Peeta begins, grabbing the collar of Katniss’ shirt and pulling her to him. Their lips meet and open quickly in a playful kiss. His hands move down to the first button on the shirt, gently freeing it from the buttonhole. “I wanted to undress you slowly.” he pops another button. “Feel your skin.” His other hand moves under the shirt and across her stomach as he works the third button free. “You’re so warm,” he says, running his hand up her side as the fourth button is undone. As the last button is pulled, he pushes the shirt from her shoulders, running his hands over the bare skin there while Katniss pulls her hands out of the sleeves.

He’s quiet for a moment as he admires her. She wants to be embarrassed at the attention, but the look on his face stops her. He looks completely enraptured.

“I wanted to savor the moment when I finally have you completely naked in front of me.” His hands move around her back slowly, finding the clasp of her bra and unhooking it easily. She shrugs her shoulders and lets it fall from her body as Peeta’s eyes are immediately drawn to her breasts. He licks his lips before looking up at her. “I wanted to run my hands across your breasts,” he moves his left hand toward her, running it across her breast, letting his fingers linger around her nipple before trapping it between two fingers and squeezing gently. Katniss sighs while he moves over and does the same thing to the other breast.

“I wanted to watch your lips wrap around my dick,” he continues, bringing two fingers up and running them over Katniss’ nose, down to her lips. She takes his fingers into her mouth and begins to suck, swirling her tongue around them, imagining it is his dick. He moans at the action, pulling his fingers free and moving them lower, leaving a light trail of saliva down her chin, neck, and in the space between her breasts – that’s where he stops.

He replaces his fingers with his tongue, licking up in the direction his fingers just came from, not stopping until he reaches her mouth.

“I wanted to hear you whimper when I sucked on your nipples.” He moves his head away from her mouth and back down to her chest, placing soft kisses on the top on her breast, moving down to take her nipple into his mouth. He sucks on it greedily and traces it with his tongue. Katniss gasps at the force he’s using, letting it turn into a moan as the sensation of his mouth sucking on her moves straight to her core. “Yes,” he breathes, stopping briefly. “Just like that.”

She wanted to touch him. Stroke him the way she watched him stroke himself. Wrap both of her hands around him and drag her palms over the head of his dick, just as he described in his texts, just like he had done earlier. She wanted to see his face when she did it, and reveal in the sounds he made under her hands.

“Come here,” he says, pulling on her arms and dragging her down to the floor with him. He rips his shirt up and over his head at pulls his pants from his legs – at last, they were both completely naked. For the first time Katniss could admire him. The firm chest and broad shoulders that rose and fell dramatically with the force of his breathing, the arms that indicated power and flexed as he brought them down to her hips, and his dick, already half hard again.

She moves her hand out to him, but stops herself. Why was she being so passive right now? She’s never had trouble going after what she wanted before, but something about Peeta’s words have left her frozen, waiting to hear what he says next.

He grabs her wrist again and sets her hand on his chest, the same way he did last night. But this time he lets go.

“I want you to do whatever you want,” Peeta says. “Touch whatever you want.” He shifts to get comfortable and looks down at his growing erection. “Look at what you do to me, Katniss.”

She couldn’t resist any more; she drags her hand down his chest quickly and grabs hold of him, running her palm over the head and back down, squeezing her hand around the base and twisting her hand as she pulls up and pushes down, finding a comfortable rhythm. She watches as he grows in her hand with every stroke, listening to his pants, glancing up to see his chest and shoulders continuing to rise and fall with each inhale and exhale – every quaking breath is perfectly audible.

When she looks up at his face, he is staring back at her in amazement. His mouth his slack, which is only enhancing the sounds of his shaky breathing. It only seems to be getting louder and more intense as she works her hand over his dick. He shudders visibly when she adds her other hand, moving them together for a short time before she moves one down to cup his balls. She stares at his face as his bottom lip begins to tremble as a soft moan falls from his mouth.

“I’ve been waiting so long to feel yours hands on my cock,” he murmurs.

She wanted to talk to him the way he talked to her. Describe what she wanted to do to him, tell him how hard he already felt in her hand again, but she didn’t have the words like he did, she couldn’t get them out. Instead, she keeps pumping her hand over him, swirling his pre-come around the tip of his dick and delicately traces the underside of his head with her pointer finger, causing him to shudder again. She could feel her middle throbbing again too, knowing that now that they’ve started, it was going to take a lot to get them to ever stop.

“I need to be inside of you again,” Peeta groans, trying to keep his breathing even. He moves toward her, gently pushing her down to the floor and hovering over her body. She keeps her hands on him, stroking as best as she can as their mouths come together, tongues brushing against each other. He pulls away from her mouth and moves to her neck, sucking and biting downward until he is back to her breast. He flicks his tongue across her nipple and the blows on it, the cold sensation causing it to stiffen even more.

He covers her body with his own then, bringing his hands down to keep his full weight off of her. With her hand still wrapped around him, their foreheads pressed together and eyes locked, he speaks.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

“Do it,” he instructs, thrusting into her hand that is still wrapped around him. “Pull me closer and put my dick inside of you.” She guides him to her middle, feeling the head advance past her folds as she continues to pull him in. His hips begin to nudge forward slowly, teasingly. She wants to scream, tell him to thrust harder, faster, but he said he wanted to do this slow.

“Peeta,” she moans, bringing her hands to his back, feeling the muscles flex with his movements.

“Tell me what you want, Katniss,” he urges. “Don’t be afraid to tell me what you want.”

“Harder,” she says. He thrusts hard and slams into her once. “Like that?” he asks. He goes back to his slow rhythm and Katniss groans in protest.

“Tell me,” Peeta reminds her.

“Harder,” she says again and he rewards her with one more hard thrust before slowing down again. That’s when she understands. She’s not saying enough. She takes a deep breath and tries to find the words. “Peeta,” she begins, stopping briefly while working up the nerve to say the rest. “Fuck me harder.” He responds accordingly and begins slamming into her repeatedly.

“You like it hard, Katniss?” Peeta asks. “Do you like it when I fuck you like this?” She doesn’t know how to answer.

“Yes,” she answers, gasping after a particularly deep thrust.

“Then tell me,” Peeta commands. “Tell me what is making you so fucking wet.” She’s never done anything like this before. She had no idea what to say to him or how to say it – she has a lot to learn with Peeta.

“I love the way your dick feels right now,” Katniss says nervously. “You feel so hard, so big, so good.” She digs her nails into his back, his skin is scorching hot and there’s a thin sheen of sweat covering it. “I love the sounds you’re making, how loud you’re breathing…”

“Fuck, Katniss,” Peeta says. His arms are beginning shake from trying to hold himself up, so he move up, gripping Katniss’ knee with one hand and bringing to other down to her clit while continuing to bore into her as he stars to rub her nerve. “I want you to tell me when you’re going to come,” he instructs. “I want to see your face, and hear your moans just as they are, don’t hold back.”

Without another word, he looks down between them as he works her clit and pushes in and out. He soon finds a rhythm that causes Katniss to writhe under his touch. She wants to scream and cry out how good he is making her feel when she remembers that is what he wanted and she lets go, not caring how loud she is being, but at the same time thankful that nobody has moved into the apartment next door yet.

“I’m going to come, Peeta,” Katniss says, lifting her hips. He grabs her breast with his free hand and pinches the nipple, causing her to cry out even louder.

“Come for me, Katniss,” Peeta urges. He looks up into her eyes, willing her to let herself go, fall over the edge and collapse underneath him. She throws her legs around his waist again, the change of position seems to pull Peeta’s dick into her even deeper, and when he’s reached as far as he can go, she explodes, arching her back and calling his name as her body begins to tremble involuntarily with the intensity of her orgasm. It rips through her body, down into her toes. She can’t hear anything but the sounds of her own breathing and the strangled cries that almost sound foreign to her. She’s never let herself get this lost.

After her ears stop buzzing and her vision is back in focus she looks right to Peeta. She didn’t think it was possible, but his eyes are even darker than they were before. He moves back down on top of her again, finding her mouth.

“That was so beautiful,” he says against her lips. “You almost made me come just watching _you_ come.” His thrusts have slowed down now, and he moves above her with calculated movements. “I’m never going to be able to get enough of you.”

She knows what he means and she nods, too spent to say another word right now. Her legs have dropped from his waist and the only thing she can concentrate on now is the delicious feeling of him slipping in and out of her.

“I need to come now,” Peeta resolves. “I can’t take it anymore.” He lets his body cover hers gently, making sure to keep his weight as light as possible as he brings his arm around to her shoulders, gripping them for leverage.

Katniss reaches up to play with his hair again, smoothing it over his forehead as they stare at each other. The closer Peeta gets to orgasm, the softer his eyes become.

“I’m almost there,” he says.

“Look at me when you come,” Katniss says, finding her voice. She doesn’t want those eyes to leave hers, the vulnerability in them is palpable and she needs him to know that it’s alright; she wasn’t going to do to him what the rest did. He needed to know that this is where he belonged. He nods and pushes in to her one last time before his hips still and she feels his dick begin to pulsate, the warm sensation deep inside filling her senses – she can’t help but moan at how good it all feels.

He collapses on top of her, still trying to keep his weight off of her, but she doesn’t care. She wraps her arms around him and squeezes their chests together. He pulls out and rolls to the side, falling onto the floor on his back, looking up at the ceiling and smiling.

“I think we should send an apology note, maybe even a gift basket, to your neighbors across the hall,” Peeta says, trying to catch his breath. Katniss has to laugh. Not only at Peeta’s joke, but at how easy this all seems to be now.  She looks over to him and reaches her arm out, cupping his cheek. He places his hand over hers and rubs it with his thumb. “I have never come so hard in my life,” he says with a laugh.

“I guess that’s what two months of waiting gets you,” Katniss smiles back. “I think I went deaf during that last orgasm.” Peeta’s laugh echoes through the living room.

“We are never waiting two months to have sex ever again,” Peeta says. Katniss laughs again and nods in agreement. It’s not important anymore to remind him that it was his decision to wait, but if this was the result of waiting, she was fine with the end result.

“Your game of Skyrim is still waiting for you,” Katniss points out, glancing over at the TV on her other side. Peeta scoffs at her, scooting in closer and turning onto his stomach. He grabs Katniss’ hip, and rests his chin on her shoulder.

“It’s going to have to wait a while longer,” he says, moving his mouth down to suck on her neck.  “Because the only buttons I’m pushing for the rest of the night are yours.”

 


	7. Footholds on the Front Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the wait for this chapter. I know it hasn't been too long, but longer than usual. In addition to taking a small break from writing for Thanksgiving, I am also in the process of re-working the outline for the rest of the story, as the plot seems to be expanding without my permission ;) 
> 
> We are now into the second part of this story, chapter 6 was the conclusion of part one. New things will start to happen, and things will begin to truly start developing between Peeta and Katniss, moving forward so we can get to the third and final part of the story
> 
> I feel like nothing really happens in this chapter, but I know that I am wrong in saying that, because a lot happens, and there is an important talk that was being reserved for this chapter specifically, hopefully you'll all understand my reasoning for keeping it until this chapter. If not, I'll be happy to explain.

Katniss’ head rests on a pillow at the end of the bed; her back and hips, arched up to meet Peeta’s pelvis, her legs planted firmly on the mattress to keep her at his level. His left hand is gripping her thigh, pulling her closer to him while his hips thrust in a way that hits just the right spots inside of her.

Peeta looks down at her and exhales loudly, running his right hand up her stomach and stopping at her breast, taking it in his hand and squeezing before trapping her nipple between his fingers and rolling it along the pad of his thumb.

At the sound of Katniss moaning, Peeta grits his teeth and exhales loudly through his nose, a moan of his own escaping from the back of his throat. When he pulls his hand away from her breast, she groans in protest, arching up even more to try and coax him back to her nipple – but he shakes his head.

“Be patient,” he croons while drawing his hand down her stomach. “There are other spots I want to touch, too.” His hand stops at the front of her pelvis, his palm covering her clit. “Like right here.” He begins to rub his palm over the nerve in a rhythm opposite his hips.

His words grow fewer and fewer as the night turns into morning, trading restful sleep for short naps that do nothing to keep the exhaustion away. Katniss is bleary and sore, but she can’t seem to get herself to stop going back for more – she can’t stay calm around him anymore.

It has never been like this for her. Her need is unquenchable, constant, and completely out of her control. The control belongs to him – she’s putty in his hands, listening intently for her next instruction: “ _Put this pillow under your head and lift your ass off the bed,” or “Have you ever done this before?”_ At the shake of her head, he smirked, satisfied, muttering the words, _“You’ll feel every last inch of me like this.”_

She never could have imagined he’d be like this, even with the evidence right there when he sent her the texts all those weeks ago. He wants her to talk to him, tell him how he is making her feel and what she wants him from, but she is going to need more time for that. Her words are limited, and while she can say a few things to appease him, she can’t find the words like he does. They never seem to come out, even if she is thinking them, constantly getting stuck in her throat, or lost in a moan.

The sound of her phone breaks her from her thoughts, the faint sounds of _Blow_ by _Ke$ha_ wafting down the hallway from where her phone still sits on the coffee table in the living room. That’s Gale’s ringtone – why is he calling? To pick another fight?

“Ignore it,” Peeta says, his voice sharp as he continues to push into her. “You’re mine right now.” He presses his palm down harder on the sensitive nerve, causing Katniss to gasp and clutch the bed sheets. She had no plans to answer the phone. Stop this to pick up a call from someone that had insulted her less than 24 hours ago? Never.

“Don’t stop,” she pants, swirling her hips up into his palm for extra friction. Her phone rings again, the sound of the music once again breaking their concentration. Katniss squeezes her eyes shut and tries to focus on the feeling of Peeta filling her, the sensation of his palm rubbing against her, and the way his breathing is hitching from exertion.

The phone rings a third time. Then a fourth.

Peeta growls in frustration, stilling his hips and dropping his hands. He furrows his eyebrows together and grabs Katniss’ hands, ripping them from their grip on the sheets and moving his hands to her elbows. He pulls her up as he rolls back on his feet, folding his legs underneath him and placing her on his lap. She keeps her feet planted on the mattress as he begins to drive up and into her again, wrapping his arms around her.

Her legs are spent and she imagines Peeta’s are as well, but he’s so deep and it feels so good that she doesn’t protest. She pushes her feet against the mattress, slamming her hips back down, circling her own arms around him to keep her steady. Their bodies are slick with sweat, from the frustration or the effort, she isn’t sure.

“Come with me,” Peeta urges, humming into her ear to keep the sounds of her phone away. It’s still ringing, but the sound is so faint now that it doesn’t matter who’s calling. This is where she wants to be – wrapped in his arms, feeling his dick hit all the spots no one has ever gotten close to before. Her legs seize and her walls clench around him, hands and fingers splaying out in mid-air from where her arms rest around his neck.

He chokes on whatever he was going to say, losing it in a moan so loud it, anyone walking on the sidewalk next to the building can surely hear it. He is so shaky underneath her that the tremors begin to rip through her as he rides out his orgasm.

They collapse on the bed, panting and sweaty; too tired to care, and too delirious to notice that Katniss’ phone is ringing again until the voicemail alert echoes through the hall.

“That was Gale’s ringtone all those times,” Katniss says, hopping off the bed. “I should at least check the voicemail.” Peeta nods as she walks down the hall and into the living room, scooping up her phone from the table and looking at the screen – 8 missed calls in the last half hour, but only one voicemail.

 _“Katniss? I need to know where Peeta is,”_ Gale’s voice blares into her ear. He sounds weary and almost fearful. _“Is he with you? Neil has been trying to call him since last night and he hasn’t been answering his phone. If he’s with you, tell him to please call his brother.”_ And that’s the end of the message.

They can’t possibly be worried about Peeta. Common sense would tell them that if he’s not answering his phone, and she isn’t answering hers, then they must be together, right? She makes a face to herself as she walks up the hallway and back into the bedroom. Peeta is perched at the edge of the bed, naked, with his feet drumming on the floor. She stares at him as he looks down at his moving feet and yawns, opening his mouth wide, his eyes watering from the force. It makes her yawn, too. He turns his head at the sound and smiles tiredly.

“Gale left a really weird voicemail,” she begins. Peeta raises his eyebrows in interest. “He was looking for you. He said something about Neil trying to call you all night but you didn’t answer your phone, and he needs you to call him.”

“Shit,” he says, hopping off the bed. “I had my phone silenced.” He walks down the hall and Katniss spins around in the doorway, watching his backside move with his heavy steps. Suddenly, he turns around, catching her gaze. “By the way, those sheets are going to need to be washed.” He lets an airy laugh pass through his nose before he turns around and walks the rest of the way down the hall.

 Katniss hears him rustling through the clothes that are scattered on the living room floor; the loud clang of his belt buckle hitting the floor indicates that his phone was in his pocket. She steps through the doorway and finds her robe hanging on her closet door. Pulling it over herself, she inspects the bed. The comforter was kicked off at some point, and hopefully spared. If it wasn’t, she’ll have to make a trip to the laundromat to use the oversized washers and dryers.

She kicks it a little, bending over to pick it up and inspect it. It seems fine, but the sheets are definitely in need of a washing. She tears them from the bed and rolls them up, stuffing them into the laundry basket to be carried over to the laundry room at the end of the hall.

She can hear Peeta shuffling around in the living room, his voice muffled as he talks on the phone. She doesn’t want to interrupt, but she feels uncomfortable standing in the middle of her bedroom waiting for him.

When she reaches the end of the hall, she notices that Peeta has been cleaning up. Their clothes are off the floor, neatly piled on the couch in two separate stacks. Their beer bottles from the night before are also gone, and the sandwich boxes are stacked on the dining room table.

Peeta walks out of the kitchen – he’s put his boxer briefs back on. Gray, with orange trim. He points to the sandwich boxes, mouthing the words _“Where is your garbage can?”_ Katniss points to the cabinet under the sink, and Peeta nods, clutching his phone between his shoulder and his ear and picking up the boxes, depositing them in the garbage can.

He’s talking in a hushed voice. It’s not secretive, but soothing.

“It’s alright,” he says, standing in front of the sink, using his hand to hold himself up. “It’ll be fine.” His responses are short, but encouraging. He freezes then and swallows hard. “I don’t know, Neil. I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” He waits while Neil responds, his eyes nervously scanning the room. “You may be, but I’m not sure that I am. You know how Mom is.”

Katniss stares at him, and catches his eye, giving him a look that asks, _“What’s wrong?”_ He puts his finger up, and mouths back _“One second.”_

“That won’t work; you need reservations for that place.” He sighs loudly and rolls his eyes. “Hang on.” With the phone pressed into his chest, he runs his hand through the messy curls on his head and gives Katniss a half smile. “Want to have dinner with my parents?”

“Tonight?!” Katniss cringes, trying to keep her voice low so Neil doesn’t hear the entire conversation.

“I’m sorry,” Peeta whispers. “I really didn’t plan to subject you to them this soon, but apparently Neil wants to subject Gale to them and now he’s having a fucking meltdown and wants to back out.” He pushes the phone even tighter to his chest. “That’ll only make things worse, though. He wants the two of us there with him and Gale.” He chews the inside of his lip again. “For support.”

She doesn’t want to do it. The declination is almost out of her mouth when she sees the look on Peeta’s face. She can tell he doesn’t want to either, but this isn’t about him or her – it’s about Neil. She remembers what Peeta told her about Neil never allowing any of his past boyfriends to meet their parents.

“This is a big deal, isn’t it?” Katniss asks. She knows it’s a big deal, she doesn’t need Peeta to tell her, but she doesn’t know what else to say right now.

“A very big deal,” Peeta nods.

She doesn’t want to see Gale right now, but this dinner is just as much about him as it is about Neil. Neil. So protective of Peeta, so supportive. It’s because of him that last night happened; if he’d never told her about Peeta’s past, she never would have known where to begin to get Peeta to open up.

Katniss thinks about Peeta’s mother. The awful things she said to Peeta that spurred him to sleep with the first girl that paid any attention to him and at the same time instilled a fear within Neil so deep that he hid his true self for years. Neil needs support right now. Swallowing her pride, she nods.

“Alright, let’s do it.” Peeta smiles wide and brings the phone back to his ear.

“We’ll be there,” he says. “I’ll call you a little later to get more information.”

He ends the call and sets the phone down on the kitchen counter, moving to Katniss quickly and holding her head in his hands, kissing her deeply and letting his tongue linger over her bottom lip.

“Thank you,” he says in a hushed tone, looking down at her robe and frowning. “Why did you put this on?”

“I was cold,” Katniss explains. “All that sweating.” She snakes her hands down to the elastic of his boxer briefs. “And what about you? Why did you put these back on?” she asks, snapping the elastic.

“I wasn’t sure if Neil was calling with bad news,” Peeta says. “I didn’t want to be naked while getting bad news.” He looks down at his attire and sighs. “I do have to go home, though.”

“Why?” Katniss asks, her stomach dropping. Is he closing off again?

“Because I only have t-shirts and jeans packed in my bag. I’ll need nicer clothes for dinner.” The relief she feels is quickly taken over by anxiety.

“Where exactly are we going?”

“Capri,” Peeta says with a wince. It isn’t as fancy as Pacifica, but they have a dress code. “I’m sure my parents picked it, or more likely, my mother.” He runs his hands through his hair again and clenches his jaw. “They couldn’t just have a quiet dinner at home to meet Gale, it has to be some fancy restaurant.” She buries her face into his bare chest, wrapping her arms around him.

“Maybe it’s so your mother won’t say anything nasty?” Katniss suggests. She’s afraid she’s crossed the line until she hears Peeta’s laugh.

“That won’t stop my mother,” he says, getting quiet again. “Neil offered to pay for us tonight. As a way of thanking us for doing this for him.”

“We can’t let him do that,” Katniss says, pushing herself away from Peeta’s chest and looking up at him.

“I’ll talk to him when we get there,” Peeta assures her. “I can’t say it’ll work, but I’ll talk to him.”

XX

“I have to find something to wear tonight,” Katniss says, walking into her bedroom. Peeta trails behind, grabbing his toothbrush from his bag before heading to the bathroom. “Hey,” she calls out while staring into her closet. “Are you just going to run to your place now and pick out something to wear?”

Peeta appears in the doorway, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. He puts his finger up, letting Katniss know he’ll answer when he’s finished, and then disappears again. A few minutes go by with Katniss lazily looking through her clothes, feeling less and less confident about anything she owns. She never cared about impressing anyone before, but for tonight, it feels important and she isn’t sure why.

“I guess it would be best for me to go back to my place to get ready,” Peeta says, breaking the silence and causing Katniss to jump. She usually hears him walking a mile away, but she was so deep on her thoughts, she didn’t hear him come back in. “Then we can meet there tonight since I work in the morning.” Right, Peeta’s self-imposed rule of staying at his place on the nights he worked the next morning.

“Just let me know what time to meet you,” Katniss nods. She doesn’t want him to go home. She doesn’t want to think about him alone on that uncomfortable couch bed in that depressing apartment, but this was his boundary, and she agreed to respect it.

But Peeta doesn’t look very thrilled with his boundaries, either. He looks down at the floor and crosses one foot over the other, looking up and shaking his head to move his hair to the side in the way that he always does – the way that makes Katniss want to bury her hands in his curls and never let go.

“I don’t really want to go home alone tonight,” he mumbles, shaking the hair back again even though it hadn’t moved at all.

Katniss can’t believe him. After all the things he said to her last night, he’s getting shy over implying that he wants to spend the night with her again?

“Okay,” Katniss nods. She gives a soft smile, but doesn’t bring much attention to his admission, fearing it will only make his reaction worse. “Then stay here with me.” She shrugs and turns back to her closet before continuing. “We can go to your place together later so you can get dressed, we’ll go to dinner, and then come back here after. I have an alarm clock that can wake us both,” she laughs. “There’s no rule that says you can’t stay here when you have to work. You made that rule yourself.” She looks over her shoulder and smiles at him.

“I was just afraid of staying up too late and being moody the next day. When you work with 5 and 6 year olds, there is no room for a short fuse.”

Katniss nods in understanding. Her fuse can be short even with a good night of sleep.

“We have to sleep tonight,” Peeta warns her. “Not like last night.”

“Well, you just need to keep your hands to yourself and there will be no problems.”

“Me?” Peeta laughs. “I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me that grabbed my dick while pretending to be asleep.” He plops himself down on the bed and crosses his arms. And just like that, shy Peeta is gone again. Katniss puts her hands up in surrender.

“We _both_ need to keep our hands to ourselves tonight,” Katniss admits. Two nights without sleep just couldn’t happen. Not when Peeta has a full day of teaching art to young children, and she has to deal with Mr. Abernathy, her crab ass, poor excuse for a boss. She has no idea how he has a job in the first place, plus he’s a pain in the ass. Having to deal with him while sleep deprived could end badly.

She turns back to her closet then, moving article after article over to the right side, deeming them all inappropriate for their dinner tonight. She can see Peeta through the mirror next to her closet. He lies down on the bed and curls up on his side, still clad in only his boxer briefs; his eyes focused on the mirror, and on her face as she looks back at him.

“I can put fresh sheets on the bed, if you want,” he offers. He sounds so tired, but so content, and Katniss can’t help but smile.

“The extra sheets are in the bottom dresser drawer,” Katniss says, pulling out a mint green sundress and examining it. “The comforter fell off the bed, it’s on your side.” She freezes. Did she really just say that? She sneaks a quick glance a Peeta as he pulls himself off the bed. He doesn’t seem to be fazed by the implication, so she goes back to looking at the dress – it’s not good enough. Nothing is good enough. She lets out a loud sigh, shoving the dress back into the closet.

“What’s wrong?” Peeta asks, tucking the sheets under the mattress.

“I don’t know what to wear,” Katniss answers. She hasn’t felt like this since her brunch date with Peeta. That same uncertainty is plaguing her now.

“Something simple,” Peeta shrugs. “Blouse and pants? I don’t know. Neil is better at this than I am.”

“It’s too hot for that,” Katniss says, shaking her head.

“I have to wear a dress shirt and pants, so you should suffer, too,” Peeta teases. Katniss moves over to the mirror and stares into it. She looks beyond her reflection to Peeta’s. His back is to her while he walks from one side of the bed to the other, making sure the sheets are even before grabbing the comforter from the floor and throwing it over the width of the bed.

“I’m gross,” Katniss mutters. “Nothing ever looks good on me.” She immediately wants to take it all back. This is what happens when she’s too tired. Maybe Peeta didn’t hear her. She looks past her reflection again to see Peeta stiffen and turn around.

“Hey,” he says firmly. “That’s not true.” He moves behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, propping his head on her shoulder. “You are not gross.”

He reaches up and unties the robe before pulling it from her shoulders. She feels exposed, but the minute Peeta runs his hands over her hips and presses his chest against her back, it disappears.

“I don’t know how you can see this as gross.” His fingers brush lightly across her stomach, over her sides, and up to delicately trace the underside of her breasts before moving to her arms, and finally, down to her hands, where he laces their fingers together. “Look at you.”

But she’s not looking at herself. She’s looking at them. How natural it looks for his hands to be touching her, what their bodies look like together. She remembers that night in the window before their first double date with Neil and Gale. Even then they looked good together, but this was something entirely different. It wasn’t about their outfits, it was about them.

“There is one thing, though,” Peeta says, letting go of her hands. He gathers her hair in both of his hands and pulls it back into a mock ponytail, using his free hand to point to a spot just above her collarbone. “That.”

“Shit,” Katniss says, looking at the purple bite mark on her neck. She looks up at Peeta in the mirror.

“I am so sorry,” he apologizes. “If I’d known you’d be meeting my parents tonight, I never would have done it.”

She wants to laugh. How could he have known this would happen? It isn’t his fault. But what if his parents notice it? Or worse? What if his mother actually points it out to the entire dinner table?

“Just wear your hair down,” he says, moving her hair back down and over her shoulders. “See? It’s hidden.”

Katniss can’t hold the laugh in any longer. It was just their luck to have to do something like this tonight.

“That still doesn’t help me figure out what I’m going to wear,” Katniss says, shaking her head. “Maybe I’ll just go shopping. Want to come with me?” Peeta makes a face. “Stop,” she warns him, reaching down to pick her robe back up from the floor, slipping it back on. “That’s fine. You can just stay here, or go home, while I shop.”

“No, I’ll go,” Peeta relents. “Then we can go straight to my apartment afterwards and get ready there.”

“Perfect,” Katniss says, walking out into the hallway. She opens the closet outside of the bathroom door and pulls out two towels, throwing one in Peeta’s direction. “Come on,” she says when the towel hits the floor in front of him. “Let’s go shower.”

XX

The air is humid when they vacate Katniss’ car and begin walking towards the clothing store in the middle of the strip mall. She isn’t in the mood to deal with people at the big mall today, so this is the next best thing.

The truth is, she hates shopping. She bought her clothes online whenever she could, but that isn’t going to work today. When they walk into the store, Peeta falls behind while Katniss begins to browse the racks of women’s clothing.

Behind her, she hears the now familiar sound of a mint wrapper. She isn’t sure what he’s nervous about, but she goes for an outfit that looks like something her grandmother would’ve worn before she died. She plucks it from the rack and smooths it over her front, turning around to show Peeta.

“What do you think?” she teases. “Would your mother approve of this?” Peeta laughs loudly and shakes his head, before grabbing a sweater on the next rack that is no better than what she is holding.

“I think this is better. A sweater this thick in the middle of July is exactly what you should be wearing. Heat stroke is in this season.” He holds it to her chest and nods. “The sparkling wool they used really brings out your eyes. I think you should get it.” He sets the sweater back on the rack and shrugs. “Did that sound alright? That’s the kind of stuff I hear Neil saying all the time.” Katniss slaps his shoulder and pulls on his arm.

“Come on, let’s keep looking.”

They walk further into the store, stopping at a rack with light, sleeveless cotton dresses. Katniss pulls one from the rack and examines it. The material is light, while the neckline is high and round. She thinks it will probably cover at least some of the bite mark above her collarbone.

“I think I like this one,” Katniss says, holding it up so Peeta can look at it.

“It’s nice,” Peeta nods, glancing back over to the rack. He grabs the same dress, but in yellow, taking the white one Katniss is holding and replacing it. “I like this color better against your skin.”

“Another thing you’ve heard Neil say?” Katniss asks.

“No.” He shakes his head. “I mean it this time.”

“Should I try it on?”

“Sure.” Peeta smiles while she takes the dress back to the fitting room. “But you have to come out and show me,” he calls out, teasing her.

She emerges with the dress on a few minutes later, looking around the store, ready to yell at anyone who isn’t Peeta that may be staring at her.

“I really like it,” Peeta says, smiling as he walks toward her.

“Is it too short? I feel like it’s too short.” Peeta looks down at the length and shakes his head.

“It’s not too short,” he assures her. “It’s fine. Is it comfortable?”

“Very comfortable,” Katniss says, nodding.

“Then you should get it,” Peeta urges. “You look great in it, you’re comfortable, what can go wrong?”

He’s right. Between the store they’re in and the entire contents of her closet, it’s the only thing that has caught her eye all day. If she passed it up, she would probably end up back here later to get it anyway.

“Want a smoothie?” Katniss asks as they leave the store. “To tide us over until dinner?”

“Alright,” Peeta replies with a nod and a smile. They walk a few doors down and enter the smoothie bar. Katniss walks to the counter, but Peeta stays behind.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

“Nothing,” Peeta says. “I’ve just never been here, so I have to look at the menu for a minute. You can order, though.”

“I’ll wait.” She walks back and stands next to him, watching his eyes squint as he looks over the menu on the wall.

“What do you usually get?” He asks.

“Tropi-Colada,” Katniss answers quickly. “Pineapple, coconut, and banana.”

“That sounds good,” Peeta says, licking his lips. “But so does that one with the strawberries, banana, and chocolate. The Beach Bum.”

“Shit, that does sound good,” Katniss groans.

“Now I want both.”

“How about this,” Katniss begins. “You get the Beach Bum, I’ll get the Tropi-Colada, and then we’ll trade halfway, so we can have both.”

“Clever,” Peeta smiles. “Let’s do that.” He begins to move to the counter, pulling his wallet from his back pocket.

“Don’t you dare,” Katniss says, grabbing the wallet from his hand. “My invite, my treat.” She stuffs the wallet back in his pocket and walks ahead of him, pulling her own wallet from her purse and ordering. She turns to look over her shoulder at Peeta, who has stopped walking and is staring at her with a bewildered smirk on his face.

XX

Peeta unlocks the door to his apartment and pushes it open, stepping aside to let Katniss in first. When she steps in, she notices that the couch bed is still pulled out, and she turns to him with a smirk.

“Do you ever make your bed?” she asks.

“Not really,” he admits. “Only if I know I’m having company, which is usually never.” She knows he meant it to be a joke, but the end of his sentence upsets her. Why doesn’t anyone ever visit him? Is it because he didn’t want them here, or something more?

“Why don’t you ever have company?” she asks, deciding not to spend time wondering.

“Would you want to spend time here?” he asks, setting his keys down on top of the TV and walking over to the small area where his painting supplies are stored.

“I would,” Katniss retorts, walking into the room to see Peeta opening a closet. “Because you’re here.”

“Well, most people don’t think I’m good enough company to come to this neighborhood and sit here with nothing to do.” He pulls a pair of dress shoes off the floor of the closet. They’re different than the ones he wore the other night, not shiny.

Katniss can tell that this conversation is going to go to bad places very quickly if she doesn’t change the subject. They need to prepare for this dinner, not get into an argument about people not visiting Peeta. They both seem to be tired and getting crankier by the second.

“I really like that one,” Katniss says, pointing to a black and white Hawaiian shirt in Peeta’s closet. “Why haven’t you worn it yet?” Peeta looks back to the closet and grabs the shirt.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “You’ve never mentioned wanting to see me in a black one before, just red and blue.”

“Well next time, I want to see you in a black one.” She smiles, hoping her attempts to get his mind off of their last topic worked. Thankfully, he smiles back and pulls the shirt from the hanger.

“I’ll wear it tomorrow,” he says. He goes back to the closet, pulling out a pair of black dress pants and a white dress shirt. “This belt I have on now is fine, right?”

“I guess,” Katniss shrugs. “It’s black.”

“Should I wear this sport coat?” he asks, pulling out the black sport coat and holding it up. “I’ve never worn it; look it still has the tag! Neil bought it for me in another attempt to get me to lose the Hawaiian shirts.”

“We’ll see how it looks on you when we get ready later,” Katniss suggests. Peeta seems content with that, taking the jacket and putting it on the edge of the couch bed with the rest of the clothes. Katniss steps away from the closet and looks at the easel where there is a blank canvas set up. She wonders how long it has been there, and how long it has been since he last painted now that he spends most of his free time with her.

“So this is where you paint, huh?” she asks.

“Yep.” He moves past her, barely acknowledging her question.

“Have you been painting much lately?” Maybe she should drop the subject. His short answer and overly cordial tone are beginning to worry her. He can’t still be upset about their talk about people coming to visit him, could he?

“Not really,” he says, pulling out a large plastic container from the floor of the closet full of socks and boxer briefs. “Haven’t had too much time lately.” He still won’t look at her.

“I don’t want to keep you from doing something you love, you know,” Katniss reminds him. He didn’t say it out right, but she knows that he meant he hasn’t had much time because he has been with her. “In fact, I’d like to watch you paint some time. I bet it’s relaxing.” He looks up at her finally, as though he is shocked by her admission. “Why does that shock you?”

“Most people haven’t been as eager to let me paint with them around,” Peeta says. She knows who he means, but doesn’t push the subject.

“Do you have time to do something right now? Really quick?”

“I can probably do something,” he says with a nod. “It won’t be great, though. What do you want me to do?”

“Surprise me,” Katniss says, stepping back to let him gather his supplies and get ready.

After he is set, Katniss moves to the right of him and he begins to paint. He moves quickly, but Katniss can imagine that when he isn’t in a hurry, he takes his time, making sure everything is perfect and the way he wants it to be.

He hasn’t said a word since he began and Katniss notices the distance in his features when he paints – like he’s in some other world. He furrows his eyebrows and squints every now and then, but otherwise he is expressionless as he works, almost like he’s in a trance.

She begins to recognize what he is painting. The red wall behind the couch, the bare coffee table, TV stand with an X-Box nestled on a shelf – it’s her living room. He paints it as though it’s the view from the front door, so everything is there to see.

He finishes a short time later and drops his brush into the water, picking it up while Katniss stares at the painting. For something quick, it is still impressive. It makes her even more eager to see him do something with full detail.

“I love it,” Katniss says, not taking her eyes off the painting.

“Thanks,” Peeta says before walking to the kitchen to wash his supplies. He still isn’t acting right. Why had he suddenly gotten so quiet? He had been fine all day. Not knowing what else to do, she moves to the spot on the floor where she dropped her bags and begins rifling through them, not exactly sure what she’s looking for, but it’s better than standing around, waiting for Peeta to start acting normal again.

Silently, Peeta puts all of his supplies away and comes to the living room, throwing himself on the couch bed and pulling a mint out of his pocket. At the sound of the wrapper, Katniss lifts her head up to see him staring straight ahead at the wall, nervously pulling the empty plastic between his fingers.

Katniss sits next to him and stares, hoping that he will look at her, but he doesn’t.

“What’s wrong, Peeta?” He doesn’t look back. Doesn’t even answer. “You can talk to me.” They are silent for almost five minutes before Peeta speaks.

“Did we make a mistake?” he asks. He still won’t look at her, but at least he’s speaking now, even though she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

“A mistake how?”

 “I make a lot of bad decisions.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s like sometimes I can’t think properly.”

“Peeta!” The volume of her voice gets him to finally look at her. “What are you trying to say right now?”

“We spent all night having sex and we didn’t even protect ourselves, and I didn’t even care,” he says, looking away again. “I let my dick think for me… again. Like I always do.” She doesn’t know what to say, so she lets him continue. “This is why I was avoiding it for so long, because I make bad choices and I end up paying for it.”

Katniss can’t help but feel a little offended. What exactly is he implying? What does he think of her? She was naïve to think that just by having one talk, the issues from his past that still plagued him would be gone, but she didn’t expect this for some reason. But when she began to think about it more, why wouldn’t it bother him? Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes and counts to ten before speaking. Now is not the time to lose her temper and say terrible things she can never take back.

“I’ve never done that with anyone else before,” she tells him gently. Peeta looks back up at her, his eyes wide.

“Really?” She feels that nagging irritation in the pit of her stomach again, but pushes it away. He needs reassurance, that’s all.

“Really,” Katniss nods. “You’re the first one.” She hops off of the bed and swipes her purse, digging into it and pulling out a packet, handing it to Peeta. “And here is my birth control.” She makes him hold it, inspect it, just so he knows. “And today’s pill is missing. I took it while you were getting dressed this morning, because that’s when my alarm alerted me that it was time. I don’t miss or skip pills.”

Peeta nods, slipping the pills back into their case and handing them back to her.

“I know using condoms isn’t a guarantee against diseases, but Gale and I do get tested every year. It’s just something we’ve always done together.” She smiles at Peeta. “My last test was clean and I haven’t been with anybody since then, until you.” Peeta is quiet as he processes the information. “There’s nothing to worry about with me, Peeta.” This is her challenge. Her way of saying, I told you, now you tell me. It’s time for him to reassure her, too.

“I’ve only had sex without a condom with Clove, which is why I fully believed her when she said she was pregnant, and that it was mine. It just made sense,” he explains. “I got tested after Cashmere at Neil’s insistence, and everything was fine. I already told you I haven’t been with anyone since her.”

“I’m sorry,” Katniss says. “We should have talked about this before we did anything yesterday. It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not,” Peeta says, shaking his head. “It’s mine. I didn’t exactly make it easy for us to talk about this sort of thing, unless it was through text.”

“Not exactly the kind of conversation you want to have through text,” Katniss says.

“And you told me weeks ago that you were clean, and I have been trying all day to remind myself of that conversation. But the more I sat and thought about it, the more I realized that you told me that while we were fighting, and I just… I wasn’t sure. I should have trusted you more.”

“I can understand why you didn’t, though.”

“Things just always seem to go wrong in my life when sex enters the picture, and that’s all I could think about while we were driving here, and then when I was painting. My mind got away from me and I started to think about all of the things that could go wrong now, and the only thing I could keep thinking about was that we didn’t protect ourselves.”

He falls on the mattress and pushes himself back, curling up on his side. Katniss doesn’t hesitate to crawl toward him and curl her body into his.

“I have condoms at my apartment. We should use them if it makes you feel better,” Katniss suggests, but Peeta shakes his head.

“No, I believe you and I trust you.” He wraps his arms around her, and before they know it, they’re both asleep.

XX

When Katniss wakes up, the first thing she notices is how much worse she feels. Her body is stiff and sore, and she isn’t sure if it’s from sleeping on this thin mattress, or because her body is starting to revolt from all of the sex without rest. Her head is fuzzy and aching, and her eyes feel like they weigh thirty pounds each. She doesn’t know how Peeta could sleep on this bed every night. No wonder he liked being in her bed!

She slips off the bed, grabbing her bags from the floor. By the time she gets back to the bed, however, Peeta is awake. He sits up and stretches.

“That was the shittiest nap I’ve ever taken,” he grouses. “I’m getting too used to your bed.”

“Straight to sleep when we get back to my apartment tonight, then,” Katniss says, pulling her t-shirt over her head. Peeta pulls his own shirt off, but doesn’t move off the bed, choosing instead to reach over and grab his clothes that are still piled on the corner of the mattress.

When he finally stands up to put his pants on, he pulls the sport jacket over the white dress shirt and holds his arms out.

“What do you think?” he asks. Katniss studies him for a few minutes, and then makes a face. “What? Just tell me.”

“It’s really sexy,” she says with a shrug.

“So does that mean I should leave it on then?” Peeta asks, feigning ignorance. Katniss nods and then holds her own arms out; it’s her turn to ask how she looks. She is nervous about having to meet Peeta’s parents so soon, but tries to keep reminding herself that this is for Neil more than it is for them. She knows, however, that no matter who this dinner is for, she’ll be under the microscope as well.

“Perfect,” Peeta says.

“Does my hair look alright? I didn’t expect to fall asleep like that,” she asks. Peeta nods and shakes his own hair out, letting it fall naturally.

“Ready?” he asks, grabbing his keys from the top of the TV so he can lock up.

“I guess so,” Katniss says nervously, gathering her bags and purse, pulling out her own keys. “Hey,” she says, stopping Peeta. He turns around and looks at her, raising his eyebrows in question. “Are you alright?”

He takes a moment to answer, looking as though he is thinking about the question. With a shy smile and a nod, he signals to her that yes, he is alright, before pushing the door open.

XX

They spot Neil and Gale standing outside of the restaurant waiting for them. Neil waves to them, walking toward Katniss first and scooping her up in a hug that almost lifts her off the ground.

“Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know he wouldn’t have if you weren’t here,” he says in a hushed voice. He pulls away and smiles at her.

“You’re welcome,” she replies, watching as he moves over to Peeta and shakes his hand, giving him a one armed hug.

“You look like shit,” Neil says to Peeta.

“Thanks,” Peeta responds dryly.

“No, I mean your outfit looks good. I see you’re finally wearing the jacket I bought you,” he explains. “But you look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

“I’m tired,” Peeta confirms, saying nothing else. He looks past Neil and spots Gale. He puts his hands out and shakes Gale’s hand, then steps to the side allowing Gale to reach Katniss, but neither of them moves. They stand there and stare at each other, not saying a word.

“Well, let’s not keep your parents waiting,” Katniss says, walking over to Peeta and grabbing his hand.

Peeta’s parents are already seats, and Katniss clutches his hands tightly the entire walk to the table. When they arrive, a man that looks very much like both Peeta and Neil in different ways, stands up. Katniss watches as Neil introduces him to Gale, and then to her.

“Katniss, this is my dad, Colin,” Neil says. “Dad, this is Peeta’s girlfriend, Katniss.”

“Nice to meet you, Katniss,” Colin says with a smile. He seems harmless.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Katniss replies, letting go of his hand. She glances over to the woman in the seat next to him, not bothering to move a muscle to introduce herself. Gale has to lean over the table to reach the hand that she lazily holds out in front of her. Neil introduces her as Beverly, but says most people just call her Bev.

“Nice to meet you,” Katniss says, taking hold of Bev’s hand. Her handshake is non-committal and her gaze dismissive. She says nothing in return.

Neil sits down first, followed by Gale. Katniss moves a seat over and sits down, forcing Peeta to sit between her and Gale. It’s a childish thing to do, but she can’t give him the impression that they’re okay yet. Just because she agreed to do this, she isn’t going to forget what he said to her, or how he regards Peeta.  Peeta gives her a confused look, but sits without asking any questions.

Colin is charming and engaging, just like his sons. He spends at least a half hour talking intently with Gale about his job, seeming genuinely interested in what he has to say. It reminds Katniss of the night she met Peeta, and the way she talked to him about her job, and how he seemed to listen and appreciate every word she said.

Bev, on the other hand, doesn’t say a single word. She keeps an icy glare focused on Gale the entire time, doing the exact opposite of her husband. She’s scrutinizing every last word he says. It bothers Katniss, but if she says something, it’ll just be another action that will give Gale the impression that things are fine between them. She tries to ignore it, but she can feel her blood beginning to boil with each dagger Bev throws at Gale with her eyes.

“So how did you two get roped into coming tonight?” Colin asks, turning the conversation to Katniss and Peeta.

“We’re just here to support Neil and Gale, and have a good meal,” Peeta replies.

“Not to see your parents?” Bev chimes in, finally breaking her silence. “You just want a _meal_? Who’s paying for it? I’m sure it won’t be you, will it?”

Katniss can feel Peeta tense up next to her. She finds his hand under the table and grabs it, squeezing it to let him know it’s alright.

“I figured that coming to see you and Dad was a given,” Peeta retorts.

“Is it?” Bev says sarcastically. “When was the last time you called?”

“I’ve been busy,” Peeta says, squeezing Katniss’ hand in return.

“Oh right,” Bev scoffs. “With your _teaching_. But it’s summer now, so you’re unemployed, aren’t you?”

“No,” Peeta shakes his head. “I am teaching at the rec center a few days a week through the summer.” Katniss glances over and sees the look of guilt on Neil’s face. He knew this would happen.

“A part time job at 25 years old?” Bev shakes her head.

“Just until the end of August,” Peeta reminds her.

“And you, what do you do?” Bev asks, turning to Katniss.

“I have a name,” Katniss snaps.

“What was it again?” Katniss doesn’t answer. She sets her jaw and stares right at Bev, waiting. The entire table falls silent, waiting for one of them to break.

“Katniss,” Colin says when the silence at the table neared two minutes. “What do you do, Katniss?” She tears her gaze away from Bev and focuses on Colin.

“Membership and Billing Services Rep at Medical Mutual,” Katniss says.

“Interesting,” Bev sneers. “Do you have to have a college degree to do that?”

“No,” Katniss replies coldly. She knows what the question meant. _Did she have a college degree?_ She planned to say nothing more than that until she sees the way that Bev rolls her eyes. Peeta seems to notice it, too. She feels his hand come to rest on her thigh, rubbing short strokes over the fabric of her skirt, but it does little to calm her down. “Do you have to have a college degree to belittle your family?”

For the second time that night, the table falls silent. Bev’s face loses its smug expression briefly before she pulls herself back together and glares at Katniss.

“I’m going to use the restroom,” Bev says, standing up. Katniss stares at her until Bev finally turns her back to her and begins to walk away. There is a round of audible sighs once Bev is out of earshot. Peeta presses his forehead to Katniss’ temple and laughs, nervously.

“You did great; she hates you.” Katniss lets out a nervous laugh of her own and sighs. She should not have said that to Bev, but she just couldn’t take the condescension anymore.

Peeta continues to rub her thigh but moves beyond the skirt, creeping his hand under the fabric, moving his hand higher and higher with every stroke. When Neil and Colin begin talking, Peeta takes the opportunity to say something of his own.

“I’m already having trouble keeping my hands to myself,” he says, referencing their conversation from this morning.

“Shh,” Katniss says, feeling embarrassed. “Your Dad is right there.”

“I don’t care,” Peeta whispers, continuing to rub her thigh. “He’s not paying attention anyway.”

It’s not normal for her to accept this kind of behavior in public, but at the same time, it makes her feel good after all of the time Peeta has spent being too scared to touch her, or show any sort of affection. To anyone that looked, he was simply whispering in her ear. She remembers how Gale and Neil were huddled close together and wonders if she and Peeta look as happy as they did in those moments.

She glances over to them now and sees that Neil is still talking to Colin, but Gale is staring right at her and Peeta. She flashes him a dirty look before turning her head to find Peeta’s ear.

“Later,” she whispers, grabbing his hand and placing it back on top of her skirt.

XX

Just after they finish eating, Bev turns to Neil, setting an icy stare on both him and Gale.

“Tell me again how you two met?” she asks.

“I went to a speed dating event back in May and Gale was there. We didn’t really hit it off during our scheduled time at the event, but when we were outside waiting for Katniss and Peeta to come back, we got to talking more and that’s when we really hit it off. We had about 45 minutes to really talk to each other while we waited, and he invited me for a drink,” Neil explains.

“And what were _you_ doing at _gay_ speed dating?” Bev asks, turning to Peeta again.

“I drove him there,” Peeta says. “I was his excuse to leave if he didn’t like how things were going.”

“And that’s why Katniss was there, too,” Gale adds.

“And how do you know him, _Katniss_?” Bev asks, sarcastically using her name.

“He’s my best friend,” Katniss says. Bev laughs and shakes her head at the four of them.

“So you’re brothers, dating best friends… do you guys swap every now and then?” She laughs again, but nobody joins in. Katniss can’t take it anymore; this woman had no respect for anyone. Not anyone at this table and certainly not anyone in this restaurant if she can talk that way, that loudly.

Katniss slams her hand down on the table, which causes everyone to jump. Bev’s head snaps in her direction, and another glare spreads across her face.

“I don’t care how you talk to me since you just met me, but how can you dare talk to your sons like this?” Katniss snaps.

“Let it go, Katniss,” Peeta says gently, grabbing her arm.

“How is that any of your business, _Katniss_?”

“When you sit here for two hours and throw nothing but insults at your children, how can it not be?” Katniss says. “And Peeta is my business. He may let you talk to him like that, but I’m not going to let you talk to him like that.” Bev laughs at that and shakes her head.

“Now you have a woman taking care of you, Peeta?”

“Should I emasculate him until he’s too afraid to speak?” Katniss says. To her surprise, Peeta shifts in his seat and grabs her hand before beginning to speak.

“Maybe if you would try listening to us sometime instead of running your mouth, you’d be a little less miserable.” Everyone at the table knows he doesn’t mean just him and Neil. He means Colin as well. Katniss squeezes Peeta’s hand once and then drops it to stand up from her seat.

“Excuse me, I need some fresh air.” She pushes her chair in roughly, causing it to bump into the table loudly as she tears out of the restaurant in a near jog, throwing the front door open and pacing the sidewalk.

Katniss knew that Peeta’s mother was a horrible person, but the reality was so much worse than any story Peeta could tell her. Having to see not only her sons, but her husband, sit there embarrassed and dejected while she felt that she could say anything she wanted without consequence was awful. Even though she ruined the evening, Katniss could not sit there and let that happen in her presence.

“Everything alright?”

“Go back inside, Gale,” Katniss says, without turning around. “I really don’t have time for you right now.”

“I’m not going to do that,” Gale replies, stopping next to her. She stares straight ahead, not turning to look at him. “I spent five minutes going back and forth with Peeta to convince him to let me come out here to check on you instead of him. I just want to see how you are.”

“How do you think I am?” she yells, finally turning to him. “I’m standing outside of a restaurant, after I _yelled_ at my boyfriend’s mother the first day I met her, and I probably ruined everything.” Gale laughs and shakes his head.

“You just said what everyone at that table wanted to say, but was too afraid to.” He falls silent and looks at the ground, bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “You really do care about him, don’t you?”

“What? Have you doubted me?” Katniss replies sarcastically. She is in no mood to try to explain this to Gale again. “Why would you think I was lying?”

“Maybe I just didn’t want to admit it to myself,” Gale begins. “It was easier to deny that our friendship was about to change than to accept it was happening and be happy for you, and that was a really shitty thing to do.”

“Well, thanks for noticing,” Katniss replies sharply.

“Stop acting like that, I’m trying to apologize,” Gale says. Katniss looks at him expectantly. “You two were different in there tonight.”

“I saw you watching,” Katniss says, her tone remaining sharp.

“Sorry, I should’ve minded my own business, but you just… I’ve never seen you like that,” Gale explains. “Letting him whisper things in your ear and smiling when he did it, I was kind of floored.”

“Well, get over it,” Katniss says.

“I said stop acting like that,” Gale huffs. “I never really expected to see the day when you were alright with something like that, that’s all.” He shakes his head before continuing. “And the way you stuck up for him and didn’t let that woman shut you up like she shut the rest of us up…” He lets out a heavy sigh. “Will you look at me?” She turns her head and looks Gale right in the eye. “Peeta was in there beaming after you left. He got up to come and see if you were alright, but like I told you, it took me five minutes to convince him to sit down and sort on the bill with Neil so I could come out here to tell you that I’m sorry for doubting you and for letting my jealousy get in the way of being happy for you.”

“I probably shouldn’t have made fun of you all those years for hoping to find a good guy,” Katniss admits.

“Probably?”

“I definitely shouldn’t have,” Katniss says, correcting herself. “Not understanding that was my own fault, not yours. But I get it now. I get you now, and I really hope Neil is it for you.” Gale nods.

“I think he might be,” he says with a smirk. “And maybe Peeta is it for you.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we’re not anywhere near thinking about that kind of thing.” Gale laughs at her response and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“You guys had sex, didn’t you?” Gale asks. At the look on Katniss’ face, Gale continues. “I saw his hand going up your thigh. That’s territory you don’t touch unless you’ve been there before.” He smiles. “And I heard what you guys were saying.”

“Because you’re a nosy bitch,” Katniss replies. She can’t hold back the smile any longer, and Gale laughs when he notices it.

“Is that why you have this?” Gale asks, pulling her hair away from her shoulder and pointing to the mark on her neck.

“You noticed?” Katniss questions nervously.

“Only because I’m a nosy bitch, you hid it pretty well,” Gale assures her. “I’m guessing it’s also why Peeta looks like a zombie tonight?” Katniss laughs and nods.

“I feel like one, I’m just lucky to have makeup to make myself look a little more presentable,” Katniss says.

“All night?” Gale asks.

“Just about.”

“Was it worth the wait?”

“Yes, and then some.”

“Insatiable?” Katniss nods.

“It must run in the family.” Katniss covers her face and shakes her head. “Well, they are brothers, you know!”

“I know they’re brothers!” Katniss yells through her hands. “That’s why it’s weird to be discussing how high their libidos are!”

“Well, if you’re in this for the long haul, you’d better get used to it now,” Gale teases. “I may be accepting that Peeta is first in your life now, but I won’t accept discreetness when we’ve never had it before.” He has a point. Katniss didn’t gossip with the girls, she gossiped with Gale. If she stopped now, who would she have to talk to? She’s quiet for a moment, contemplating whether or not she should tell him anything.

“You should hear some of the stuff he was saying,” Katniss says finally.

“Peeta?” Gale gasps dramatically. “Our sweet Peeta likes to talk dirty? I’m going to need examples.”

“Not today,” Katniss says. “Let me get a full night’s sleep first, alright? But I will say that I never thought something like that would be as hot as it was.”

“So he’s not the same bashful guy in bed, huh?”

“Not at all.”

Just then, Peeta, Neil, Colin, and Bev come out of the restaurant. Bev doesn’t appear to be speaking to anyone; she simply walks ahead of everyone and stands on the curb.

“Is everything alright?” Peeta asks, looking at Gale. He puts his hand on Katniss’ lower back and doesn’t move. Gale nods to Peeta.

“Just fine,” Gale smiles.

“Well, it was nice to meet both of you,” Colin says to Gale and Katniss. “We’ll have to do it again,” he smiles at Katniss and she nods. They watch Colin join his wife and hail a cab, getting in quickly and driving away. Once the cab is out of sight, Peeta and Neil let out huge sighs and begin to laugh.

“I’ve never seen Mom quiet for so long in one sitting,” Neil notes. “I think you may be a keeper, Katniss. Peeta, she can put Mom in her place!”

Peeta wraps his arms around Katniss and squeezes her tight, then grabs her head and kisses her. She reciprocates, feeling the gratitude and appreciation on Peeta’s lips. She runs her hands down his chest and opens her mouth, letting his tongue sweep in quickly before he takes her bottom lip between his teeth and bites down gently, settling his hands on her ass. They don’t realize they’re still with company until Neil clears his throat loudly and Gale whistles a cat call.

“You’re coming back to my place, right?” Katniss asks, ignoring Gale and Neil.

“Yes,” Peeta nods. “I have clothes there that are fine to go to work in.”

“What about something to sleep in?” Neil teases.

“Oh, I don’t think he’ll need that,” Gale adds.

“Grow up,” Katniss hisses. This only makes them laugh harder.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so!” Gale calls out.

“Goodbye, you two,” Katniss says, rolling her eyes. She gives each of them a hug this time and waits while Peeta shakes their hands before putting out her own for him to take as they begin to walk to Katniss’ car.

Neither one of them were going to be able to keep their hands to themselves after that dinner.


	8. Dreams

“I wish they’d put their names on the buzzer list,” Katniss complains, walking through the lobby doors.

“Well, at least you picked the right one,” Peeta replies with a laugh. “You could have buzzed a scared, old woman who’d think we were trying to gain access to rob apartments.”

It has only been a week since they were last here, but Katniss wasn’t yet used to Gale living in a new place. She was used to the old apartment that she didn’t have to buzz to be let into, where the door was always unlocked and she could walk in unannounced.

But Gale lives with Neil now.

They announced in early August that they were looking for a place to live together. After tireless arguments over who would be the one to move and neither of them budging, they just decided in the end that it was best if they both moved into an entirely new place, together.

“Do you want to take the stairs or the elevator?” Katniss asks, after Gale unlocks the lobby door for them. Peeta motions to the stairs and they begin to climb them, silent at first. But soon, Peeta begins to speak.

“I still can’t believe they were foolish enough to move in together,” he says, confusion lacing his words. The statement shocks Katniss. She has never heard him say a single negative thing about Neil and Gale’s relationship before, not even last week when they were here for the house warming party.

_“Is your brother coming?” Katniss asks, handing Peeta a fresh beer._

_“I doubt it,” Peeta answers. He doesn’t sound disappointed at the thought, but there is something in his words that prompts Katniss to raise her eyebrows at him, urging him to continue. “If he isn’t here by now, he won’t be showing up. Probably because of what happened at the restaurant with you and my mother.”_

_“That was almost three months ago,” Katniss says in disbelief._

_“Yeah, but this is the first chance Spencer has had to give his opinion on the matter,” Peeta explains. “You poked the sleeping bear that is our mother and he has to stay the favorite, so not coming here tonight was his way of saying_ don’t do it again _. At least dad showed up.”_

_“Oh.” Katniss doesn’t know what else to say. She didn’t want to tell Peeta that she had no intention of listening to someone she has never met before, and that he is being childish not coming tonight._

_“He just expects you to do what his wife did the first time she met mom,” Peeta begins. At Katniss’ look of interest, he smirks. “She cried.”_

_“Well I hope you weren’t expecting that reaction from me,” Katniss laughs. Peeta shakes his head, and turns to the window behind them._

_“This is incredible,” Peeta says, amazed. He sets his hand flat on the glass of one of the two full length picture windows at the front of Gale and Neil’s new apartment. He smiles at Katniss and lowers his voice to a whisper. “Too bad you don’t have one of these at your apartment. We could put on a show.”_

_“_ You _could put on a show,” Katniss retorts, crossing her arms over her chest a giving him an incredulous look._

_“What? You wouldn’t want to?” Peeta asks, feigning disappointment, but soon begins to laugh. “This place is great, though,” he adds. “I think they’ll be happy here.”_

When did Peeta go from thinking they’ll be happy, to thinking they’re foolish? Katniss and Peeta’s feet hit the landing of Gale and Neil’s floor just as Katniss  stops holding her tongue.

“Why do you think they’re foolish?” she asks, matching Peeta’s stride as they make their way up the hall.

“They’ve been together five months,” Peeta explains. “That’s too soon to know that things won’t fall apart and that they won’t end up hurting each other. Then they’d have to go through the trouble of disengaging from each other after merging their lives together too soon.”

Katniss is taken aback. She and Peeta have known each other for five months, too. How long has he thought things like this?  She begins to think about his behavior over the last few weeks.

_Peeta walks out of the bathroom -- towel wrapped around his waist, a trail of steam following behind him from his shower. Katniss watches him as he sifts through his bag, pulling out a black and white Hawaiian shirt, dark jeans, and a pair of gray boxer briefs._

_“You know you don’t have to keep your clothes rolled up in that bag,” Katniss says, amused.  She hops off the bed and goes to her dresser, pulling open the very last drawer. “You can put your stuff in here; I can put the sheets I’ve been keeping in here in the linen closet.”_

_“What?” Peeta says. His voice comes out uneven and shocked. He turns around, gripping the towel around his waist._

_“I was just thinking that you could keep some of your clothes here in the drawer instead of your bag, and it’d give you more room so you didn’t have to keep washing the same three outfits,” Katniss replies simply before shrugging. It sounded simple enough, but judging by the look on Peeta’s face, it wasn’t._

Since that day, things have been different between them. Before, he was staying at her apartment almost full time, only going home every so often to swap clothes. Most of the time, he just washed what he already had in the laundry facility on the ground floor of her apartment. It seemed pointless to her for him to keep everything in a bag and go home to get new clothes when he got tired of the same outfits. She thought it was a good thing to do. Show him that he had a space in her apartment and also in her life, but after that moment, he seemed to have grown distant.

They spent a week almost completely apart just before school started at the end of August, only seeing each other for dinner at night, but going back to their own apartments after they were done. Peeta said that he had a lot of lesson planning to get in order and things to take care of before school started again, so he couldn’t have distractions.

_“You know how distracting you can be sometimes,” Peeta says with a flirtatious smile. “I can’t walk into school the first day unprepared to teach because I couldn’t keep my pants on.”_

But even after school started, he stayed away more. He never touched the drawer that was now empty in case he ever decided to use it; he stayed at his apartment more often again, reverting back to his original rule of staying at his place on work nights. He’d show up on Friday nights to take her out with his bag in his hand that told her he was staying that night, but on Sunday night, he’d leave again.

He even stopped showering at her apartment, leaving early to go shower at home, and arriving late with his hair still damp. He even still knocked on her apartment door despite the fact that Katniss told him numerous times that she leaves the door unlocked for him when she knows he’s on his way over. It was like he was doing everything in his power to make the distinction between his place and her place clear.

The bright spot was that even though they were spending less time together, they were always in constant contact. They would text when Peeta wasn’t teaching a class, they talked on the phone during lunch breaks, and she called him as soon as she left work every evening. She isn’t suspicious of him; she just wants to know what is going on and why he is suddenly so spooked.

But even after she has asked several times, he hasn’t admitted that anything is wrong. Katniss knows better, but she has no idea how to fix it.

_“He’s regressing,” Gale says matter-of-factly through the phone._

_“Okay, Dr. Phil,” Katniss replies sarcastically._

_“I’m serious, Katniss,” Gale says sternly. “I know you’re trying to prove to him that you are in this and that you care about him and won’t hurt him, but trying too hard to prove that is just as bad as not trying at all.”_

_“I didn’t really think I was trying too hard,” Katniss explains. “I just thought it made sense.” Her words come out almost frantic, as though she doesn’t know how to fix it. “I offered him a drawer; it’s not like I asked him to give up his space and come live with me or anything.”_

_“Well, it was obviously still a big deal to him. Just give him time,” Gale tells her sadly. “Don’t smother him.”_

But regardless of what Gale said to her, she has been worried about Peeta. Things really seemed to be turning around. He was talking and opening up, she even met his friends Delly and Thom, who he had just recently gotten back in contact with. He seemed to really believe that this was different.

What did he really think of her offering him a drawer for himself? Did he think she was a fool for doing it? It’s small, almost laughable, in comparison to moving in together, but it was still a gesture of permanence that Peeta didn’t seem comfortable with, yet. Maybe it was a bad idea.

Worst of all, it made _her_ feel like a fool. Opening up to someone the way she has with Peeta has been a chore, but she was trying – for him. The rejection stings more than she wants to admit.

“Is something bothering you?” Katniss asks, almost harshly as she struggles to keep the anger from her voice, but before Peeta can answer her, Gale is pulling the door open and waving to them with a smile. She pushes her anger away, deciding to enjoy the evening instead of being upset about what Peeta said. There’s no sense in worrying about it now, even if Peeta did pick the worst time to bring up this up.

After they step into the apartment, Gale offers them each a beer, almost running into Neil who is standing at the entrance of the kitchen with two, cold beers in hand, waiting for Gale.

“Have a seat at the table; we’re still cooking so if you want to talk you have to hang out at the table,” Gale says, popping the tops off of the beer bottles.

“Do you want any help?” Peeta asks, grabbing for his beer.

“Sit down, Peeta,” Gale says sternly. “You’re a guest.”

Katniss observes Neil and Gale after they sit down. They work in silence for the most part. Neil is cutting chicken breast into chunks, while green onions and dried chilies wait in front of him. Gale is situated in front of the counter on the other side of the kitchen combining wet ingredients into a bowl.

“What are you guys making?” Katniss asks curiously.

“General Tso's Chicken,” Neil replies quickly, grabbing another piece of chicken.

“Hey,” Gale calls out, grabbing Neil’s attention.  “Where is that quart container?”

“It’s under the sink,” Neil says, not breaking the focus he has on what he’s doing. Gale quickly opens the cabinet and pulls out a container, then finds a spoon in the drawer to his right.

“Do you want to taste test the sauce?” Gale asks. This breaks Neil’s concentration. He turns around and nods as Gale dips the spoon into the bowl, bringing it to Neil’s mouth.

“That’s good, baby,” Neil smiles after Gale pulls the spoon away. Without another word, they both go back to work. Neil resumes chopping, while Gale pours the sauce into the container before heading to the refrigerator for more ingredients.

Katniss can’t help but notice how seamlessly they work together. They are completely in tune with each other and she finds herself wondering if it’ll ever be like that with her and Peeta. When she glances over to him, his head is down as he picks at the label on his beer bottle. He notices it too -- she knows he does. He is thinking the same thing that she is. For a moment, they’re also in tune, but for all the wrong reason.

XX

“How’s the new school year going, Peeta?” Neil asks before taking a bite of food.

“Pretty great,” Peeta replies happily. “It’s a lot easier this year since I only have to get to know the new Kindergarten students. The rest are basically the same kids I taught and got to know last year.”

“Does that little girl still want to marry you?” Neil asks with a laugh. “That one who gave you the air freshener?” At Gale’s look of confusion, Neil quickly relays the story of how there came to be a _Hello Kitty_ air freshener hanging from Peeta’s rearview mirror.

“So, Katniss has competition?” Gale jokes, taking a swig from his beer.

“Not if she lets me give her that undercut,” Neil adds. Katniss crinkles her nose in Neil’s direction and shakes her head. “I used to have a crush on my teacher.”

“Which one?” Peeta asks, shocked.

“Junior High, Mr.  Brutus,” Neil replies with a shrug.

“Are you serious? That guy was a dickhead,” Peeta replies with a groan. “Didn’t he get fired for verbally harassing the basketball team?”

“Yeah, but the crush was long gone before then. I was in college when that happened,” Neil counters.

Peeta shakes his head and tries not to laugh, lowering his head and silently eating his food, subsequently ending the conversation. A thick and awkward silence develops at the table, and Katniss looks around for anything that can spark another conversation. She finds the only thing that she can think of a question about is the apartment itself.

“So,” Katniss starts awkwardly. “How did you guys find an apartment in such a great location?”

“Oh, some old guy died in here and we snatched it right up,” Neil says seriously. The table falls silent again, even the sounds of forks hitting plates comes to a screeching halt.

“He’s joking,” Gale chimes in a moment later, trying to hide his amusement. “Neil knows the building manager and mentioned to him about the vacancy, so we were able to place our application first and ended up getting it.”

“Was this before or after you decided to live together?” Peeta asks, sounding uncharacteristically cold. “Or did you catch wind of the vacancy and just moved in together because it was available?”

Katniss can’t believe what she’s hearing right now. His sour mood from earlier has returned, and she doesn’t know what to do to change the subject. When Katniss looks at Neil and Gale, she sees what she and Peeta could be in good ways, but it seems as though when Peeta does it, he can only see all of the bad ways.

“What crawled up your ass, Mom?” Neil retorts. His words sound like a challenge, and Katniss braces herself for Peeta’s response.

“I just don’t want you to regret your decision,” Peeta replies. Katniss can tell that he means well, but he is choosing the wrong time to bring this up. Her eyes flick to Gale, and she sees his eyebrows furrow in response to Peeta’s comment, and Peeta seems to notices it too, as he puts his hand up quickly, silencing any comment that Gale may have been planning. “I didn’t mean that to sound like I don’t trust you, Gale. I’m just looking out for my brother.”

Gale relaxes, but Katniss knows that it isn’t Peeta’s words that do it. It’s Gale’s knowledge of what Peeta went through, along with Neil’s tight grip on Gale’s hand that causes him to relent.

“I need another beer,” Katniss says abruptly, standing from her seat. She looks to Peeta and gives him a look, trying to ask him what is going on with him, but all she can get out is, “Do you want another one?” At his nod, she moves quickly into the kitchen, stopping in the middle to try to regain her composure. The sound of Gale’s voice startles her.

“The only reason I didn’t tell Peeta to go to Hell was because I love Neil and it would hurt him if I said that to his brother,” Gale says angrily. “But I’m telling you right now that I’m not going to treat Peeta like a wounded puppy the way Neil does. I’m not going to be as nice next time. If he thinks he can talk to us like that in our home, like he knows something better than the rest of us, he’d better be prepared to take what I have to say in return.”

 Katniss can’t argue, because she knows Gale is right. Even if she wanted to, he doesn’t give her a chance. He turns and is out of the kitchen just as quickly as he came in. She takes a deep breath, Gale’s words fresh in her mind and pulls two beers out of the refrigerator to bring back to the table.

XX

The rest of dinner proceeds without incident, although Gale is noticeably quieter through dessert. Neil and Katniss make small talk, and she learns that he made the Tiramisu from scratch.

“Can you make something like this?” Katniss asks Peeta. She places her last forkful in her mouth, savoring it.

“Sure,” Peeta says with a shrug. He smiles slightly in response to the look that crosses Katniss’ face.

“And you haven’t made it yet… why?”

“I… don’t know?” Peeta replies, unsure himself.

“Well, we should make something sometime,” Katniss suggests. “I’m not good at baking, but I can crack eggs for you or something.”  Peeta laughs and pushes his plate in front of her.

“You can have the last few bites of mine,” he says, smiling. He seems to be loosening up, though she can’t tell if it’s her suggestion or the beers he has consumed tonight.

“So Katniss,” Neil says teasingly. “I hear you sing well…” Katniss turns and glares at Peeta, who responds by putting his hands up.

“I didn’t tell him!” he says quickly, shaking his head. She then turns her glare on Gale who is looking back at her with a guilty look on his face.

“Sorry,” he says apologetically. “We were just trying to figure out what to do after dinner, and I mentioned you liked to sing karaoke sometimes.”

“There’s a new karaoke bar that opened up, and it’s walking distance from here, so we were going to suggest we go check it out,” Neil explains.

“What do you think?” Gale asks, raising his eyebrows. “We go, sing a few songs, have a few drinks, and then you two can catch a cab home and pick Peeta’s car up in the morning.” He looks to Peeta then, and for a moment, Katniss is afraid of what he might say. “I know you’re already over your one beer quota anyway, so what are a few more drinks and a cab ride home?”

Katniss groans in protest, but Peeta’s voice stops her.

“Come on, Katniss, it’ll be fun,” Peeta says encouragingly. She’s happy to see so much enthusiasm from him tonight since his mood has been so sour, but she knows that before they go, she has to talk to him.

“Fine,” Katniss grumbles.  

XX

The four get their first drink and sit at a booth close to the front of the stage. The place is a lot nicer than the karaoke bars Katniss has been to in the past. There is even a dance floor, though Katniss can’t imagine why anyone would want to dance to karaoke music. The stage is set a small step higher than the rest of the bar, with blue lights lighting a backdrop of the city. The monitors that display the lyrics are set on the floor and right in the center is a single microphone, set in a stand.

“Who’s going first?” Neil asks, taking a sip of his drink. Everyone begins to shake their heads and Neil laughs. “I figured that’d be the response. Not nearly enough alcohol in our systems yet. Let’s just watch people for a while.”

They watch as countless people take the stage and sing their renditions of popular songs, and applaud loudly when everyone finishes. Everyone that has gone up has seemed too drunk to care if they sang the words correctly, and that thought alone puts Katniss at ease a little. Even if she did go up and sing a song, everyone was too drunk to pay much attention to her.

“Come on, Peeta!” Neil announces loudly, draining his second Screwdriver. “Let’s do our song!”

Peeta resists at first, keeping himself firmly seated on the bench, clutching what remains of his second Kamikaze.

“Come on, Peeta, it’ll be fun.” Katniss nudges him, repeating what he said to her earlier in a mocking tone.

He sighs heavily and lets go of his drink, pushing himself up from the booth and following behind Neil to the side of the stage where everyone goes to pick their song.

“Is he all right?” Gale asks, turning to Katniss once Neil and Peeta are out of earshot. The concern in his voice matches the look on his face. Now that he has calmed down after the incident during dinner, he is able to see that something is wrong.

“I don’t know,” Katniss admits sadly. “He hasn’t been acting right since that drawer thing.”

“Still?” Gale says, shocked. “You need to talk to him about that, then. He’s making it a much bigger deal than he should be.”

“You’re the one that told me to give him time,” Katniss shoots back, lowering her voice to a whisper as a song ends.

“Well it seems like he has had enough time,” Gale replies. “If he hasn’t gotten over it by now, then you probably need to have another talk with him.”

“It’s not that easy,” Katniss admits sadly. “You were right earlier, you know. We can’t keep treating him like a wounded puppy, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“Maybe he’s too much for you,” Gale suggests, cringing at his words. Katniss shakes her head fiercely, taking a long sip of her drink through the straw before speaking.

“This is just another reason why I never bothered with long term relationships,” Katniss says angrily. “Time and time again I’ve told him that he can talk to me, but it just doesn’t seem to matter. It works for a little while, and then he starts to disappear again.”

“Then let him go,” Gale says gently. Katniss shakes her head and looks down into her drink.

“I can’t.”

XX

Neil and Peeta return a few minutes later, stating that they picked their song and were just waiting for it to be their turn. Peeta looks uneasy when he returns, sitting stiffly beside Katniss, swirling his straw around in his now empty glass.

“What song did you guys pick?” Gale asks curiously, leaning over the table closer to Peeta. “It’s _Baby Got Back_ , isn’t it, Peeta?”

Peeta looks up from his glass and laughs, shaking his head.

“I promise you, it’s not, though Neil may have made a comment about you in regards to that song,” Peeta smirks and lifts his empty glass. “I’m going to need a refill before I get up on that stage. Katniss? Do you want another Screwdriver?” He flashes a dirty look in Neil’s direction as though warning him not to make any crude jokes in response to his question and looks back to Katniss.

She nods and smiles, wondering why Peeta can’t be like this all the time. He leaves the table and she watches him walking casually to the bar to order their drinks. As much as she doesn’t want to dwell on Peeta’s distance when they are supposed to be out having fun, she can’t help it. “Katniss!” Gale’s voice interrupts her thoughts, and she tears her eyes away from Peeta’s form across the bar.

“What?” She asks exasperatedly.  

“Stop staring at his ass and go pick out a song,” Gale teases, but Katniss isn’t amused. “You know we’re only here because we want to hear you sing.”

“I wasn’t staring at his ass,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Let him know where I went.” She gets up from the table without another word, needing to get away from them for a few minutes while she finds a song to sing.

When she returns, there is a fresh drink waiting for her. She notices Peeta’s glass is already empty, and she looks at him, shocked.

“I needed another one in my system before we get called up there,” he says nervously.

“Haven’t you done this before?” Katniss questions, slipping back into the booth next to him.

“Never in front of you,” Peeta points out, grabbing the glass again while trying to drain any remaining alcohol that may be hiding at the bottom. He flashes Katniss a lopsided grin, and pulls her closer to him, pressing his lips to her temple. He stays there, sighing loudly, and resting his forehead against the side of her head.

“This guy needs to give it a rest, already,” Neil groans in complaint, turning away from the man currently on stage singing _Don’t Stop Believin’_ loudly and off key. “Everyone does that song.”

The song ends and the people in the bar applaud the clearly drunk man as he stumbles from the stage and staggers to get another drink. The man running the karaoke for the evening hops back on stage, a fake smile plastered across his face as he reads from a list.

“Next up we have Neil and Peter, singing _Wannabe_ by _The Spice Girls_.” Gale begins to cackle in his seat, while Katniss brings her hand to cover her face, embarrassed for Peeta, already.

“PEETA!” Neil yells out, “His name is Peeta!” Everyone turns in the direction of their table.

“Do you think I have time to run and get another drink?” Peeta whispers into Katniss’ ear. Katniss removes her hand from her eyes and turns to look at Peeta, taking his face in her hands.

“No,” she replies honestly, trying not to laugh. She places a chaste kiss on his lips before lightly slapping his cheek twice. “Now get up there and sing some _Spice Girls_.”

Peeta reluctantly follows Neil up to the stage, taking a second microphone but keeping it at his side as the music starts. He locks eyes with Katniss and immediately looks embarrassed.

“ _Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want_ ,” Neil sings enthusiastically, looking over to Peeta when he notices he’s hasn’t joined in, but continues to sing alone, having no other choice.

“He looks like he’s about to shit himself,” Gale laughs, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “He decided to start drinking heavily a little too late. It’s all going to hit him after he gets off that stage.”

Katniss locks eyes with Peeta and nods at him, motioning to him with her hands to start singing.

“Go on!” she mouths to him, smiling.

Neil finishes up the first verse and Peeta takes a deep breath, finally bringing the microphone to his mouth.

“ _I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want,”_ Peeta and Neil sing in unison. Neil smiles at Peeta and nods, pleased.

“No you won’t,” Gale says dryly, looking at Peeta on the stage.

“Gale!” Katniss snaps, giving him a dirty look. “That’s enough. He’s trying to have fun.”

Peeta seems to loosen up and begins to get into the song, singing the rest of the song perfectly in time with Neil, clearly having done this dozens of times before. Neither one of them can sing, but they are smiling and having a good time, and after the tension as of late, Katniss is happy to see Peeta doing something that’s familiar to him.

When the song finishes and they leave the stage, a woman takes their place, singing _Beautiful_ by _Christina Aguilera_ – Peeta looks at Katniss and cringes when the woman begins to sing.

“I’m sure we didn’t sound any better,” Peeta says, slipping back into the booth. “But that just pierced my eardrum. Am I bleeding?” They listen to the song for a minute before Peeta claps his hands together. “Hey, I’m going to pick another song,” he announces slurring slightly. “Do you think you can get another round of drinks while I’m doing that, Katniss?” He doesn’t wait for her to answer, standing up and walking away quickly to find a song.

“I told you the alcohol wouldn’t hit him until after the song,” Gale says, satisfied.

“He’s never been good at pacing himself,” Neil admits with a laugh, getting up from the booth himself. “Come on, Katniss, I’ll help you with the drinks. Unless you don’t think he should have any more?”

“Oh let him have one more,” Gale chimes in, not sounding so sober himself. “You know they say the truth comes out when you’re drunk. Maybe he’ll start talking if you fill him up with liquor.”

“You’re cut off after this one,” Neil threatens, grabbing Katniss’ arm and pulling her in the direction of the bar.

“They’re both cut off after this one,” Katniss adds loudly as she walks away, making sure Gale hears her.

XX

Just as Peeta is returning from picking his second song, Katniss gets called up to sing her first. He grabs her hand when they pass each other and the man on stage announces that Katniss will be singing _Dreams_ by _Fleetwood Mac_.

“Break a leg,” Peeta whispers as he passes her, giving her a lazy smile.

She stands on stage nervously as the song begins, belting out the first few lines of the song with a nervous shaking evident in her voice. She looks over to Peeta briefly, noticing the grin that has spread across his face at the sound of her voice, and by the time she reaches the chorus of the song, her nerves have lessened considerably.

“ _They say, women, they will come and they will go.”_ She looks to Peeta again; his gaze has turned from silly to serious as he continues to listen _._ “ _When the rain washes you clean, you'll know.”_

Her eyes scan the room and she notices that everyone in the bar has turned their attention to her. Some seem to have stopped mid-conversation to listen to her sing. Looking back to their tale, she catches Neil’s eye and he shakes his head, smirking at her.

When the song ends, she practically runs off the stage, sliding into the booth next to Peeta quickly and taking a large sip of her Screwdriver. Gale claps for her when she looks up, and Neil is still shaking his head at her.

“Holy shit, Katniss,” Neil says, shocked.  “Gale said you liked to sing, but I didn’t expect you to be _that_ good.”

All eyes fall on Peeta then, the only one that hasn’t commented on her song. He’s staring at Katniss, his eyes heavy and serious.

“Come here,” he murmurs, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her to him. He free hand lands on her thigh as his forehead rests on her temple. He breathes in deeply through his nose, rubbing her thigh, and moaning as he exhales.

“Let’s go pick out a song to do together,” Neil says to Gale, jumping out of the booth. Gale remains seated in the booth, staring at Peeta who is oblivious to the one man audience. “Come the fuck on!” Neil whispers through gritted teeth, pulling on Gale’s arm until he has no choice but to leave the booth and follow Neil.

“Let’s get out of here,” Peeta breathes in Katniss’ ear, planting a kiss under her earlobe.

“We can’t just leave Neil and Gale, and you still have to do your song,” Katniss reminds him, breathing out heavily when Peeta takes her earlobe between his lips and sucks gently.

“They’ll survive without us,” he replies, moving his mouth to her cheek and kissing it. “You know what your singing does to me.”

Katniss looks over to where Neil and Gale are standing, looking through the catalog of songs. Neil notices her looking and nods at her, motioning with his head toward the exit. She can’t be sure, but she thinks she even sees him mouth the word “Go.”

Peeta begins to rub even higher on her thigh, breathing heavily into her ear when the side of his hand grazes her middle. She looks once more to Neil and Gale, who have now stopped looking through the catalog and are now looking at them. Neil nods again, and Gale waves.

“Let’s go,” she says, obviously affected. She moves from the booth quickly and grabs her coat, throwing it on hastily. Peeta throws back the last of his final drink before reaching into his back pocket and taking out his wallet and throwing money down on the table. He grabs Katniss’s hand and they almost sprint out of the bar and to the sidewalk where Katniss waits as Peeta hails a cab.

XX

Peeta is on her as soon as the cab begins to drive away from the bar. His mouth finds hers in the dimly lit cab, nipping at her bottom lip while he runs his hand up her thigh again. The alcohol is making it difficult for Katniss to care that there is a total stranger witnessing what is happen.

“Wait,” Katniss says breathlessly, pushing Peeta away. “You never told me what song you were going to sing.” He gets in close to her ear, breathing heavily for a few seconds before he begins to sing.

“ _You and I must make a pact_ …” Katniss pushes him away a second time and looks at him, her eyebrows raised in amusement.

“The Jackson 5?” she asks between chuckles.

“Yeah,” Peeta says quietly, closing his eyes and gives a lazy nod, pulling her back to him. He peppers soft kisses on her cheek and jaw, while humming the tune of the song, then singing the words, “ _I’m so glad that I found you_.”

Briefly, she wonders if he chose to sing that line on purpose, and if he did, is this Peeta or the alcohol talking? She knows he’s very drunk, but she tries to take solace in what Gale brought up earlier: The truth does tend to come out when someone is drunk.

He goes right back to humming, but soon, they’re parked in front of Katniss’ apartment. She pulls on his arm, letting him know they’re there and they scoot out of the cab, Katniss stopping to pay while Peeta waits for her on the sidewalk.

“I could have gotten that,” Peeta says informatively.

“I know,” Katniss assures him. “But since you paid for the drinks, it was my turn to pay.” Over the last couple of months, they had come to an agreement on how to pay for things by simply taking turns. Katniss was convinced that it was her mentioning to Peeta that it was her turn to pay the bill that helped Delly warm up to her, though she never mentioned it to Peeta.

She begins to walk toward the apartment, Peeta following behind her quietly through the door, up the steps, and stopping while she pulls her keys from her purse to unlock the door. It’s the first time she realizes how drunk she is, too. She fiddles with her keys, trying to find the one with the green cover that denotes her apartment key.

Peeta makes the already difficult situation worse when he pushes against her and lowers his head to the crook of her neck. He kisses and sucks on the skin there, rubbing his hands over her hips. After what feels like a year, she finds the key and unlocks the door, throwing her purse to the floor loudly, not giving it a second glance before making her way to the bedroom, but Peeta’s hand grabs hers, pulling her back to him so their bodies are flush. Her back rests against his chest and he kisses her neck again.

“Here,” he mutters, pulling her coat from her shoulders.

He undresses her swiftly, stopping when she is left standing in the middle of the living room in just her panties. His hands come around and grab her breasts, kneading them in his hands, kissing her neck and down her shoulder and arm as he does it.

She backs up, grinding against his jeans, prompting him to move his hands from her breasts and down to her stomach, rubbing the creases of her thighs before grabbing her breasts once more. Finally, Katniss turns around and runs her hands through Peeta’s hair, trailing her hands down to cup his jaw with both hands as his grab her ass. 

Then his clothes start coming off quickly without any regard to where they end up. They work together without words, kissing deeply, breathing heavily.

Katniss drops to her knees and unzips Peeta’s jeans, pulling them and his boxer briefs down to his ankles. He is semi-hard when she wraps her hand around the shaft and twists as she pulls her hand up his length and back down slowly, agonizingly. When she stops, she plants her hands on his thighs and wastes no time wrapping her mouth around his dick, pushing him in as far as she can take him, running her tongue flat over his shaft. His breathing changes to moans in response to her actions, and she speeds up her pace, sucking and licking until she is sure every inch of him is coated in her saliva.

She pulls back until only the head of his dick is still in her mouth and she swirls her tongue around it and over the slit. Her hand wraps around him again, repeating the same movements as before, but faster this time.

“Every part of you feels so fucking good,” Peeta says, trying to laugh, but it turns into a moan when Katniss takes him further into her mouth again, moving in time with her hand.

She stops when she feels how hard he is in her mouth and hand, standing up and kissing him deeply while reaching her hand down between them to continue stroking him. Then she walks backward, pulling her panties off Peeta moves toward her as he struggles to take off his shoes, pulling his pants and boxer briefs off the rest of the way when he finally succeeds.

He closes the space between them, kissing her once more while pushing on her shoulders. When they drop down to their knees, Katniss pulls away from Peeta’s lips and settles down on her back, propping herself up slightly on her elbows to look at him. He pushes her legs apart and crawls on top of her, his right hand grabbing her side as he pulls her into another deep kiss, working his way from her lips down to her breasts and stomach until finally, he is between her legs.

With his hands on the insides of her thighs, he begins to slowly lick between her folds, speeding up and slowing down in response to her moans that are now getting higher in pitch with each passing second, his left hand to travels up her stomach as he works.

Then he spreads her legs even wider, running the tip of his tongue over her clit in quick, circular motions over and over until Katniss can’t take the sensation any longer and she climaxes, reaching out to grab his hair as the spasms claim her body.

Peeta doesn’t move from between her legs, pulling his focus off of her clit and back to licking long strokes up her middle, moaning as he tastes her, and not stopping until he seems satisfied. Only then does he climb back up and over her, looking into Katniss’ eyes, and without speaking or needing to be told, she grabs his dick as they kiss and guides him into her.

He thrusts into her, slowly at first, never breaking their kiss and she wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him into her deeper. Then, he begins to thrust harder, slapping his hips into hers with such force that her legs fall from his waist and her feet hit the floor.

He maintains this pace, only briefly before, without warning, he slows down and pulls out of the kiss, looking at Katniss in the eye and thrusting slowly, but deeply.

“Take what you want,” he says, almost harshly. Katniss isn’t sure what he’s trying to say and she furrows her eyebrows at him, confused. “Take what you want, Katniss,” he repeats, keeping his thrust slow. “Don’t be afraid.” What is he asking her to do? She still doesn’t respond or make a move; instead she hopes her silence tells him she’s still uncertain. “Push me down,” he instructs, thrusting a little harder. “Climb on top of me,” he pulls out of her completely then, settling back on his feet before speaking his final instructions. “And ride me until you come so hard you can’t breathe.”

This is what he has been wanting from her. He tells her every time that she needs to find her voice, take him how she wants to instead of waiting for him to lead, but tonight he seems especially dead set on getting it. She could usually deter him from these thoughts by clenching around him while he is inside of her, or grabbing his ass to push him in deeper, but he isn’t allowing that to happen this time.

This was the only time he is ever expressive like this. Physically, he is always there, always, but emotionally he can rarely be found. The cautious, leery Peeta disappears and is replaced with the confident, silver-tongued Peeta that she has heard so much about but never sees unless they’re being intimate.

She feels anger rise up within her. He is expecting something of her physically while he still was not putting any effort into being present emotionally. Then, something inside her snaps and she feels the sudden urge to show him that she is willing to move out of her own comfort zone to please him, and he should be willing to try the same for her.

Angrily, she pushes herself up from the floor and pushes on his chest, hard – harder than she probably needs to, but she has to release her frustrations somewhere.

She climbs on top of him, and he grabs his dick, running it teasingly between her folds a few times before she moves his hand away and takes his erection in her own hand, hovering over it and plunging herself down, swirling her hips in a circular motion to get used to the feeling of him.

Her hands come to rest behind her on his thighs and she begins to move on him in a gentle rhythm. His legs are flat on the floor, straight out in front of him and he stares up at her, moaning, but he keeps his hands down at his sides, forcing her to do all of the work.

But soon, he doesn’t seem to be able to resist any more and his hand moves up over her stomach and up to her breast. Katniss grabs it and pulls it off of her, pushing it away -- if he wanted her to take what she wanted, then he couldn’t touch her while she did. She uses the frustration that is still bubbling inside her to move harder and faster, and it feels incredible. She isn’t sure if it’s the control or the frustration that is making it feel so good. Her breathing is so heavy and her moans are so loud that she can’t even hear Peeta anymore.

Peeta tries to put his hands on her again but she grabs his wrists and pulls his hands off of her again and moves down, putting her hands on his shoulders and pushing down on him, hard. Peeta lets out a moan that she can hear this time that sounds like a mixture of pleasure and pain -- he looks enthralled.

She pushes their chests together, grabbing fistfuls of his hair forcefully and tilting his head up, kissing him hard. When she lets go and pulls away, she sets her hands down on the floor on either side of him and begins slow, deep movements for only a short time before she has to grab his hair again, gasping and kissing him.

For the third time, his hand comes up and rests on her thigh, but she is there quickly, throwing it off and pinning it to the floor above his head as she begins to pound down on him, their foreheads pressed together.

The sounds of their moans echo through the living room, and most certainly down the hall of the apartment, they are so loud. Katniss can barely breathe, barely see. All she can do is feel everything as she moves on top of him so fast, so hard, and she pins Peeta’s over arm above his head when she climaxes a second time, slowing her movements as she gasps almost painfully. But she feels no pain -- every nerve in her body is electrified and can only feel the intense bursts of pleasure.

Finally she lets go of his hands, allowing him to rest them on her thighs as she continues to move over him, not slowing her pace as a result of her orgasm.

“Is this what you wanted?” she asks him, her voice low and strained. Peeta moans in response and nods. “How does it feel?”

“Incredible,” Peeta answers, moaning loudly as she purposefully clenches around him, slamming down on him repeatedly. He throws his head back and she feels him stiffen and twitch, climaxing as his fingers dig into her thighs.

“How do you feel?” Katniss questions, her voice serious. It’s a loaded question and she knows it, but it had to be asked. Peeta lifts his head up and looks at her, his gaze deep and his eyes dark.

“Like I’m losing my mind,” he replies. His voice holds something that she can’t quite place -- fear, agony, maybe even sadness. It’s then that she realizes his answer is just as loaded as her question was.

Katniss lays down on his chest, resting her head on him. They are quiet, but their breathing is still erratic. She begins to think about what is going on with Peeta. He’s still holding back, and she knows she needs to help him change that. She also knows that what Gale said during dinner was right – they can’t go around treating Peeta like a wounded puppy forever.

Peeta needs to know what is at stake here.

They’ve been at a standstill, and that has to change. It’s not something Katniss is okay with anymore.

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This interlude is in Peeta's POV. I wanted to make it separate from chapter 9 for that very reason. While this does not have to be read, I do recommend it, as it'll make Peeta's behavior in chapter 9 more understandable.

"Hey man, come in," Gale says, stepping aside and letting Peeta walk into the apartment.   
  
They shake hands and Peeta gives Gale a friendly slap on the shoulder, shoving his hands into his pockets when he pulls away.  
  
"Thanks for inviting me over," Peeta says. He wonders for a moment if it was a stupid idea to agree to do this today. He and Gale aren’t exactly friends.  
  
Katniss mentioned Gale’s idea to him earlier in the week, but Peeta was hesitant. Would they have anything to talk about, or would they sit in awkward silence for a few hours until Peeta couldn’t take it anymore and left? When Gale called the next day and proposed the idea of hanging out at the apartment and playing video games, Peeta reluctantly agreed.

Between him, Katniss, and Neil, he knows Gale the least. It was difficult to truly get to know Gale when he was constantly surrounded by the two people in the world that know him better than anyone. It might be good to spend time with just Gale, but things are getting awkward, fast.  
  
"Let's go in the living room," Gale suggests, motioning for Peeta to follow him. "Like I said when I called you, Neil mentioned you were into video games, so I figured we’d play for a little and maybe order some pizza."   
  
"Yeah," Peeta answers, stopping abruptly when Gale veers off toward the TV set. He isn’t sure where to go, so he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a mint. The sound of the wrapper seems to catch Gale's attention.  
  
"What are you nervous about?" Gale asks with a laugh, pushing a button on the remote control that switches it over to the XBox screen.  
  
"Nothing really," Peeta lies. "Well, not nothing… I'm just not sure what to talk about without Katniss or Neil here." He laughs uncomfortably at himself. He isn’t used to having nothing to say, but Gale nods, understanding.  
  
"I hear ya," Gale replies, setting a stack of green XBox game cases on the coffee table. "I had to ask both of them what you're into so I’d know what to say to you. I didn't want to sit here in silence. But hey, that's why we are doing this, isn't it? So we can get to know each other?"  
  
"Yeah," Peeta says, relieved. "Do you play a lot of games?"  
  
"Not much since college, haven't had too much time," Gale explains, sitting down on the chair against the right wall. He waves, silently telling Peeta to have a seat on the couch. "But I've been playing a bit more now that Neil brought this along during the move."

Suddenly, Peeta knows exactly what he has to say, even if he doesn’t want to.  
  
"Sorry about what I said last week, by the way," Peeta says sheepishly.   
  
"It's fine,” Gale replies. "It’s in the past, now."  
  
"That still doesn't make it all right," Peeta says, the guilt heavy in his voice. "I've just been... a little out of sorts lately. I shouldn't have taken it out on you and Neil. You're just acting on what you feel. It isn’t your fault that I can’t manage to do the same."   
  
"Is that something you're having trouble with?" Gale asks, sounding interested. “Acting on what you feel?” Peeta nods, not meeting Gale's eye.  “Well, what’s going on?” he urges. Peeta hesitates, looking at Gale cautiously. There are so many reasons he can think of to not say another word about this to Gale, but the one that wins out in the end is the overpowering need to vent his frustrations to someone who isn’t Neil. Suddenly, his worries of having nothing to talk about begin to disappear.  
  
"Well,” Peeta begins uncertainly, “I'm not sure if Neil told you about some of my exes, but I have been pretty good at picking women eager to hurt me.” He looks at Gale, trying to gauge his reaction. He probably knows more about Peeta than he is admitting to. Peeta knows that Neil has a big mouth. When he can’t seem to decipher the look on Gale’s face, he continues. “I know it's not an excuse, but as hard as I try to ignore everything that I remember about those relationships, I find myself constantly failing. It’s like the minute that I think I have a handle on things, something changes and brings up old wounds again,” Peeta explains, almost rambling. “And it isn’t like I’m stupid and don’t see what’s happening, I see it as plain as day. The problem is that I can’t figure out how to stop it.” He isn’t sure why the words are coming so easily with Gale, but it is a relief to talk about it out loud.

“And you know that really hurts Katniss, right?” Gale says.

“Of course I know it hurts Katniss,” Peeta replies, annoyed.

“Why haven’t you talked to her about it?” Gale presses. His tone doesn’t match Peeta’s, but he’s clearly looking for answers, unlike Neil who rarely forces him explain himself.

“What can I possibly say?” Peeta asks fretfully. “ _Sorry that I’m so fucked up I have no idea how to behave in a relationship with a woman that deserves better than this?_ ” He points to himself, letting his hands fall down against the couch cushions.

“Oh come on,” Gale says skeptically. “Do you really believe that?”

Peeta shrugs. “I’m afraid that if I bring it to her attention, she’ll realize I’m right and get rid of me.”

“Well I think you’re full of shit,” Gale says, matter-of-factly.

“Thanks,” Peeta grumbles in reply. He sounds more sarcastic than he feels, but he isn’t sure if Gale’s response was supposed to be a compliment or not.

“Do you want to order that pizza now?” Gale says, suddenly changing the subject. He lets out a puff of air and pulls his phone from his pocket. “You need to talk about this, but this is the kind of conversation that needs food to go with it. Is cheese and pepperoni good for you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Peeta says, laughing nervously. “Hey, you’re not going to run back and tell Katniss any of this, are you? I kind of want to talk to her on my own when I’m ready. I owe her that.”

“I won’t tell her,” Gale promises. “But if you don’t talk to her soon, you may not get a chance,” he finishes warningly. Without another word, Gale sets the phone to his ear and orders the pizza.

XX

“And you think that because of the way those girls treated you, that it’s some kind of an indicator of your worth?” Gale asks before washing his last bite of pizza away with a sip of soda.

While they ate, Peeta revealed the details of his past to Gale, not leaving anything out. If he was going to be around Neil for the long haul, he was bound to find out anyway, if Neil hadn’t already told him.

“I can’t come to any other conclusion,” Peeta replies.

“Maybe there isn’t one,” Gale suggests with a shrug. “You’re not exactly an asshole, so I think it may be safe to say that they took advantage of you, because you let them. Ever think of that?”

“That’s too simple,” Peeta counters, shaking his head.

“It’s not rocket science, Peeta.”

“It pisses Katniss off that I won’t talk to her about what’s bothering me,” Peeta reveals, sadly.

“I know it does,” Gale nods.

“What has she told you?” Peeta asks, curiously. “I understand she’s going to tell you things, you’re her best friend, so just be honest with me.”

“Well she may have mentioned something about a drawer…” Gale trails off. Peeta puts his head in his hands and sighs.

“We were moving too fast,” Peeta explains. “We went from one extreme to almost living together overnight and it wasn’t until she brought up the drawer that it dawned on me. I totally fucked that up.”

“According to her you’ve been fucking up a lot of things since then.”

“I don’t want to make a mistake with this,” Peeta says. When he sees the look on Gale’s face, he replies for him. “But I am anyway, aren’t I?”

“Bingo,” Gale deadpans.

“Shit.”

“She just wants to know you’re serious about this relationship, because I can assure you, she is serious about it,” Gale explains.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this serious about a relationship,” Peeta admits, rubbing his palms on his jeans. “When I think about telling her, or doing something to let her know, it’s like my brain feeds me all of the bad things that can come along as a result and I freeze up.”

“Like what?” Gale asks, as though he’s challenging Peeta. As though he’s saying, _if you can tell me, then you can tell her._

“Well, what if we break up and you and Neil don’t? He’ll always be my brother and you’ll always be her best friend. The odds of us seeing each other, and often, are pretty high.”

“Why would you think of something like that?” Gale asks. “You can’t. I could say the same thing about me and Neil. What if we break up and you and Katniss don’t? I’ll definitely have to see him more than I would if you weren’t dating my best friend.”

“I didn’t think about that,” Peeta says honestly.

“You’re not the only one taking risks here,” Gale reminds him. “I gave up a lot to move in with Neil, but I’ll never know what could come from this if I don’t try. And what about Katniss? She’s taking a huge risk by letting you wedge yourself into her heart like you have. Especially when things are still so uncertain.”

“What do you mean uncertain?” Peeta asks, nervously.

“You’re not exactly giving her much hope, right now,” Gale says, informatively. “You need to change that.”

“I know,” Peeta grouses. “I just can’t get past the feeling that I’m doing all of the same things that I did before, and then somehow I end up wondering if she cares about me as much as I care about her.”

“She does,” Gale nods.

“Has she told you?” Peeta asks, hopefully. “She urges me to talk all the time, but doesn’t exactly give me much to go off of, either.”

“Indirectly, yes,” Gale replies. “You learn how to read what little she gives you after a while. Besides, I’ve seen Katniss in relationships before, and I can assure you that she cares about you a lot.”

 “I wish I knew how to get my mind to stop running with all of these horrible scenarios,” Peeta sighs.

“Live in the now,” Gale says simply.

“That sounds so clichéd,” Peeta laughs, but he stops abruptly when he sees the look on Gale’s face.

“Worry about what is happening today before you think about tomorrow,” Gale says seriously.

“Why can’t I talk to her the way I’m talking to you, right now?” Peeta sighs, running his hand through his hair. “You’re much easier to talk to, and I didn’t think you would be.”

“You’re not dating me,” Gale reminds him, laughing.

“Yeah, that probably makes a difference,” Peeta smiles, throwing a piece of pizza crust back into the box.

“Well, maybe it would be easier if you tried to do things in steps?” Gale suggests. “Talk to Katniss a little at a time, but give her something. Giving her nothing is only going to cause her to get fed up with you and it doesn’t exactly encourage her to open up, either.”

“Okay,” Peeta says, thinking over Gale’s suggestion. “I think I can do that.” He knows he has to give her something. He doesn’t need Gale to tell him that. Avoiding the inevitable conversations that they need to have is only making matters worse. Fortunately, he knows exactly where to start – he has been thinking about it for a few weeks, and now is the time to act on it.

“Are you ready to blow off some steam with a little Halo?” Gale asks, holding up the game case.

“More than ready,” Peeta nods, catching the controller that Gale’s throws to him and settling back into the couch. Now, he’s glad he agreed to do this today. He feels like he has a bit of a handle on his mind right now, and is looking forward to seeing Katniss later. It was time to take the first step in talking to her.


	10. Be Here Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you haven't read the interlude yet, now would be the time to do so! Again, while it doesn't need to be read, I recommend it so Peeta's behavior makes sense in this chapter.
> 
> Please enjoy!

“Why did you pick a song by _A Perfect Circle_?” Katniss complains. She keeps her eyes glued to the television screen while her fingers work tirelessly over the colored, plastic buttons on the guitar as she hits them in time with the colors that appear on the screen. “They’re always so long. I could have finished my dinner four times by now.”

“You’re only complaining because you’re losing,” Peeta replies smugly.

Katniss grumbles in his direction, hoping that it will break his concentration so she can at least have a chance to take the lead, but it’s no use. His focus is much better than hers and he wins easily.

“Finally,” Katniss sighs, setting her guitar down on the floor next to the couch and stretching her hands. “I’m done. It’s starting to give me a headache.”

They decided early in the day that tonight would be dedicated to eating Chinese take out and playing _Guitar Hero_ in their underwear, a practice Peeta was previously unfamiliar with. Before stripping down, there was a heated debate over whether Lo Mein or Chow Mein was better, and they refused to agree. That’s when they realized that ordering one main dish to share was not going to be an option for them when they ordered Chinese, and they ended up getting one order of both dishes.

Peeta mimics Katniss’s action and sets his guitar down on the floor before leaning over to grab their food cartons off of the coffee table. He hands Katniss her almost full order of Lo Mein, followed by her chopsticks, and then settles back into the couch, ripping open his package of Chow Mein noodles and dumping them into his own carton.

“Give me a band,” Katniss says quickly, grabbing the television remote from the coffee table. “I want to make you a Pandora station.”

“You have Pandora on your television?” Peeta asks, intrigued. He watches in silence as she navigates through a list of applications and pulls up Pandora. She looks over to Peeta expectantly and waits. “Let’s see… how about Alkaline Trio?” Katniss nods and begins to input the band name.

“I think my favorite Alkaline Trio song is _Burn_ ,” Katniss says as she hunts down the letters. She hears Peeta chuckle beside her, and when she looks at him, his face is twisted into an amused grin. “What?”

“That’s my favorite, too,” Peeta replies, jabbing his chopsticks into his Chow Mein. “Look at us, having shit in common.”

Katniss laughs, hits enter, and waits for the station to generate songs. She sits back against the couch after a Thrice song begins to play. They listen in silence for a short time as they eat, but there is something Katniss has wanted to ask Peeta since he got there.

“So,” she begins after finishing a bite of food. “Did you have a good time with Gale today?”

The Monday after their dinner at Gale and Neil’s apartment, Gale e-mailed Katniss at work and said that he and Neil had talked about Peeta spending some time with Gale outside of the confines of their relationships. Neil thought it might be good for Peeta to get to know Gale one-on-one.

Katniss thought it was a good idea too, and suggested it to Peeta that same night. Peeta seemed hesitant to agree at first, and did not give her a clear answer. It wasn’t until Gale called him the next day that he finally agreed to hang out at Neil and Gale’s apartment that afternoon while Neil worked the Saturday afternoon shift and while Katniss stayed home and focused on some much needed cleaning while Peeta was gone.

“It was pretty great, actually,” Peeta says, scraping the last of his Chow Mein from bottom of the carton. “Gale is a good guy. I mean, not that I ever doubted that, Neil wouldn’t love him so much if he wasn’t, but it’s kind of hard to get to know a person outside of their relationship when the person they’re dating is your brother.”

“Well, I’m glad you had a good time,” Katniss says, finishing up her own food.

“He seems pretty protective of you,” Peeta adds with a smirk.

“He is,” Katniss confirms with a nod. “Sometimes a little too protective, sometimes.”

“You know, you should plan a day like that with Neil,” Peeta suggests. “I think you two could be really good friends.”

“I should,” Katniss agrees. The time she has spent with Neil so far has been positive. She’d like to get to know him outside of his relationship with Gale.  

“I didn’t know Gale liked bowling,” Peeta mentions nonchalantly.

“Oh my God, he used to be on a league and everything,” Katniss laughs. “There was this old woman that had it bad for him. She sounded like she was one pack away from an oxygen tank, but she never missed bowling night. Come to think of it, I don’t think she even bowled. She just sat there and watched Gale. I went with him most weeks and she would give me the nastiest looks.”

“If she only knew,” Peeta chuckles. “Gale is pretty wise, too. He really seems to have his priorities in order with what he wants with Neil.”

“I think it’s all the Lifetime and Hallmark movies he watches,” Katniss replies, causing Peeta to laugh and shake his head. He takes her empty food carton from her hand and makes his way to the kitchen to throw them away just as a song ends and “ _For Me This Is Heaven_ ” by Jimmy Eat World begins to play.

“Holy shit, I love this song!” Peeta yells from the kitchen, walking back into the living room quickly. He stops in front of Katniss on the couch and puts his hand out to her. “Dance with me.”

“To _this_ song?” Katniss asks incredulously.

“Sure, why not?”

“It’s not much of a dancing kind of song,” Katniss points out.

“Who cares?” Peeta says with a shrug. We’re all alone, sitting around in our underwear, who’s going to be bothered?” He moves his hand closer. “Come on, before the song ends.”

He is smiling from ear to ear and Katniss can’t help but notice how relaxed he has been since returning from Gale’s, so she places her hand in his and agrees. He pulls her up from the couch and walks her to the open area between the living and dining rooms, locking their fingers together, and then wraps his free hand around Katniss’s waist, resting it on the small of her back.

Katniss looks at their hands linked together in mid-air and she begins to laugh at how silly they must look getting ready to dance to this song in their underwear, but  she snakes her hand up around Peeta’s neck anyway as they begin to lightly sway back and forth, slower than the melody would call for.

“You know, this song makes me think of you,” Peeta says, pausing briefly. “Us, really.”

“Does it?” Katniss asks, lightly dragging her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. “How so?”

“Everyone interprets this song differently,” Peeta begins, continuing to sway, “but for me, it makes me think about us – especially in the beginning. You know I used to sit around all day at work and wonder how to tell you everything? And when to tell you?”

“I didn’t know that,” Katniss replies quietly. She notices a look of guilt flash across Peeta’s face. He closes he eyes and sighs, as though he is forcing himself to continue.

“It isn’t like I’m oblivious to how much it hurts you when I keep running away from you, Katniss. I just…” Peeta breaks eye contact for the first time and takes a deep breath. “Sometimes I can’t help it, no matter how hard I try to fight against my mind when it starts to tell me that I’ll never have anything real.”

“Do you still think those things?” Katniss asks, tightening her grip on his hand.

“Yes,” Peeta replies, clearly embarrassed.

Katniss puts her head down against Peeta’s chest and kisses it, prompting Peeta to speak again.

“When I leave you, I get this feeling in my gut and I don’t know what it is. It isn’t butterflies like the song says, but like something is constantly pulling me back to you. No matter where I am it’s there if you’re not.” He rests his cheek on the top of Katniss’ head and continues, “I always wonder if you feel that too.”

She does. She knows exactly what feeling he is talking about. It’s that sensation in the pit of her stomach that gnaws at her when he’s not around. She nods against his chest, unable to formulate the words that Peeta seems to be able to right now.

Peeta removes his hand from hers and brings it down to rest where his other hand already sits on the small of her back. He pulls her in close and she moves her hand to his chest, keeping her head down, close to his neck.

“I want you to spend Thanksgiving with me,” Peeta says, breaking the silence that was consuming the room.

Katniss pulls her head from his chest, forcing Peeta to lift his head up and she looks at him, shocked. She didn’t expect him to bring this up. At least not tonight – Thanksgiving is still a month away.

“My family always has a big breakfast on Thanksgiving morning, and then we watch the parade. I was hoping you’d come with me. You can finally meet Spencer and his wife, too,” Peeta, says. He sounds almost as though he is reciting something that he has been practicing for a while now, and it makes Katniss wonder how long he has wanted to ask her this.

His idea makes sense. She would be able to go with Peeta, but also be able to see her family, namely Prim, for dinner. Prim. Katniss has told her so much about Peeta.

“So, we have breakfast with your family and I get to meet your other brother, then… maybe…” The words die in her throat, and she’s unsure if she should continue. Would the suggestion scare him? The idea scared her, but she really wanted Prim to meet him, so she forces herself to finish her sentence. “…dinner with my family, so you can meet my sister?” She looks at him for a second. “And I guess my parents, too,” she adds.

Peeta laughs as though he is amused at how tongue tied she is, but he doesn’t seem to realize how huge bringing someone home to meet the family is for her.

“You want me to meet your family?” Peeta asks, the weight of her question finally hitting him.

“Yes,” Katniss says, with confidence this time. “You need approval from Prim if I’m going to continue dating you.”

“Well, I was going to say no,” Peeta says jokingly. “But since you put it that way, I guess I’ll go.” He feigns annoyance and rolls his eyes, but quickly his face turns serious and he brings his forehead down to rest against Katniss’s. “Yes,” he says. “I’d love to meet your family.”

XX

Peeta keeps his eyes glued to the road as he navigates streets Katniss has never seen before. He showed up at her apartment Tuesday night, the last day of school before Thanksgiving break, with his bag in one hand and a pizza in the other and has been with her ever since, even tempting her enough that she called in sick to work Wednesday morning so they could stay in bed all day with their phones off, shutting out the world.

Katniss notices the silver Audi parked in the driveway when Peeta pulls the car up and parks – Peeta notices it, too.

“Spencer,” Peeta says with a sigh, pulling the keys from the ignition. He doesn’t sound very thrilled, despite the fact that he said he wanted Katniss to meet Spencer.

Her eyes land on the large, white, two story colonial house. It is seated on a hill with a lush, green lawn and rose bushes lining the red brick walkway that leads to front porch and cherry red front door.

“Is this where you grew up?” Katniss asks, in awe of just how beautiful the place is.

Peeta nods. “Misleading isn’t it?” he says wryly, opening his door. “Sit tight,” he adds before getting out and making his way around the car to open Katniss’s door.

Katniss takes his hand when she gets out of the car and notices him squeezing it tightly as they make their way up the walkway toward the front door.

Peeta opens the door, allowing Katniss to walk in first, but still keeping a firm grip on her hand. She immediately smells breakfast when she walks in, and the scent only grows stronger as Peeta leads her through the house and into the dining room where there is a spread of what appears to be freshly baked bread for toast, jam and butter, eggs, bacon, sausage, and waffles on the table.

“I bet you’re happy about the non-Eggo waffles,” Katniss says, pointing to the pile of homemade waffles on the table.

“It’s the only reason I still do this,” Peeta replies jokingly, smiling while he gently pulls her away from the table. He continues to lead her through the house, passing through a pair of white, French doors and stopping in what appears to be the living room.

There is a blonde man, who Katniss can only assume is Spencer, sitting on the hard wood floor in a pair of gray sock, khakis, and a blue, plaid shirt that is tucked in. Next to him is a small woman with equally blonde hair, who is staring at the television as the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade plays out.

“Hey, where are Mom and Dad?” Peeta asks, interrupting the couple, but confirming that this was indeed Spencer. While he didn’t look terribly different than Neil and Peeta, there was something about his presence that rubs Katniss the wrong way.

“In the kitchen,” Spencer replies dryly, not taking his eyes off the television. Peeta nods, rooted to the spot and staring at Spencer.

“Spencer,” Peeta says imploringly. “I want you to meet Katniss.”

Spencer’s head turns to them quickly at the mention of Katniss’s name, and he stares at her for a second too long before nodding.

“Nice to meet you, Katniss,” Spencer says coolly. He doesn’t get up from his spot on the floor to introduce himself further.

“You too,” Katniss replies, agitated.

“This is Naomi, Spencer’s wife,” Peeta continues, waving in Naomi’s direction. Naomi stands up from her spot on the floor and walks over to Peeta and Katniss, giving Peeta a cordial hug before moving to Katniss and shaking her hand.

“Ignore Spencer, he’s just tired and hungry,” Naomi whispers, laughing uncomfortably. Katniss smiles and nods in return, biting her cheek to try to stop herself from asking Naomi why she is making excuses for a man who is acting like a toddler. She knows why Spencer is acting so cold, and it has nothing to do with him being tired or hungry.

Katniss pushes her anger away, not caring at all what Spencer thinks of her. He wasn’t at dinner the night she yelled at Bev, and in the six months she has been with Peeta, this is the first time she has met him. As far as she knows, he and Peeta rarely speak, if at all, outside of family get-togethers like this. To her, his opinion means nothing.

“Let’s go say hello to my parents,” Peeta says, bringing her back through the dining room and through a swinging door into the kitchen.

Both Colin and Bev have their backs to the door and do not hear Katniss and Peeta enter over the sounds of more bacon frying. Bev stands at the stove, while Colin is stirring a bowl of what appears to be batter for more waffles.

The kitchen is spacious. Katniss thinks she can probably fit her kitchen in here at least three times. The floors are hard wood like the rest of the house, and the white cabinets almost shine against the gray marble countertops.

“Hey, Mom and Dad,” Peeta calls out trying to get their attention. Colin turns around first, smiling when he sees them standing in the kitchen.

“Peeta!” Colin exclaims, sounding shocked. “You made it, I’m glad. I know the last time we talked you said you weren’t sure if you were coming or not.” He shakes Peeta’s hand and pulls him in for a quick hug, turning his attention to Katniss when they break apart. “Katniss,” he smiles. “It’s nice to see you again.” He pulls Katniss into a similar hug before turning back to the waffle batter that is waiting on the countertop.

“We’ll be starting breakfast as soon as your brother gets there,” Bev says, forgoing the salutations. She turns around, frying pan in hand and looks right at Katniss. “He’s bringing his _friend_.” A small smirk plays on her lips, and Katniss can only assume it’s in response to the look on her face. “Katniss, there is a spot for you at the table next to Peeta.” With that, she turns back around quickly and grabs a spatula, saying nothing more.

Katniss did not know Gale would be coming today. Why didn’t he tell her?

“Let’s go wait for Neil and Gale on the porch,” Peeta suggests. They retrace their steps through the house and out the front door, where they stand on the porch and wait to see either Gale or Neil’s car drive up the street.

“Why weren’t you going to come today?” Katniss asks after a few minutes of silence. He didn’t mention anything to her about considering not coming today.

“I told you I wanted you to spend Thanksgiving with me,” Peeta begins to explain. “The last time I talked to my dad was before I asked you to come to breakfast with me. If you didn’t want to, I would have been fine with spending the morning with you alone. In bed,” he says, giving a coy smile. Katniss rolls her eyes at him.

“How long were you planning to ask me to come to breakfast with you?” Katniss finally asks.

“I thought about it not long after school started, when I was planning turkey themed art projects for the younger kids,” Peeta confesses. “I was just never able to work up the nerve to actually ask you.”

“What gave you the nerve the night you asked me?”

“Gale gave me a big push,” Peeta reveals. She knows that he and Gale had a nice chat the afternoon they hung out, but Gale refused to tell her any details, stating that he promised Peeta he wouldn’t. She admired Gale for respecting Peeta’s wishes, but deep down she often found herself wishing he wouldn’t. “Then that song came on, and I don’t know… it just felt like the perfect time.”

Katniss reaches her hand up and brushes the curls from Peeta’s forehead, smiling when he smirks down at her. She was happy that Peeta has been so open the last few weeks, but she has been trying to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that made her wonder how long it would last, but her thoughts are interrupted when she notices Gale’s car round the corner.

After Gale parks and he and Neil get out of the car, both couples congregate on the porch for a short time, prepping themselves to go in and face what breakfast will bring this year.

“So Katniss,” Neil starts. “What do you think of Spencer?”

“Would you be offended if I said he seems like a tight ass?” Katniss replies, looking to both Neil and Peeta.

“Absolutely not, because he is – just like Mom,” Neil says, laughing.

“Don’t be surprised if he says three words to you all morning,” Peeta adds.

“But he’ll probably throw in plenty of passive aggressive remarks, or snide looks,” Neil continues. “He may be a tight ass like mom, but he certainly doesn’t have her balls.”

XX

The table is silent as everyone fills their plates with food when breakfast finally begins. Gale, Neil, Katniss, and Peeta take up one side of the table, while Colin, Bev, Spencer, and Naomi take up the other half. Things feel divided, and Katniss can’t help but wonder if it was intentional.

The food is just as delicious as it smells. Peeta piles four waffles onto his plate and douses them with butter and syrup, swirling a piece of sausage around in the excess and taking a bite.

“What are your dinner plans tonight, Neil?” Bev asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Gale and I are going to try making our own dinner this year,” Neil replies, looking over to Gale.

“The keyword here is _try_ ,” Gale laughs. Katniss smiles at her plate and hears Peeta chuckle beside her, but when she looks up she notices Bev’s expression is unchanged.

“What about you two?” Bev asks, moving her focus to Katniss and Peeta.

“We’re going to my parents’ house,” Katniss replies informatively. Bev nods as though she is interested in what Katniss just said. The action shocks Katniss.

“Have you met her parents yet?” Bev asks Peeta. There is no sign of vitriol in her tone, and it seems that Peeta notices that in the way he hesitates before he answers.

“No,” Peeta says, tentatively. “This will be the first time.”

“Do you have any siblings, Katniss?” Spencer asks.

“Yes,” Katniss replies, in the same cautious tone that Peeta spoke in when he answered Bev. Something about this conversation is making her uneasy, but she ignores it. “Her name is Primrose, and she’s home from college for the holiday.”

“So your sister is in college, but you didn’t go?” Bev asks in the familiar, condescending voice that Katniss heard the last time this topic was brought up.

“Katniss actually gave her college fund to Prim,” Peeta interrupts.

“Did you really?” Neil chimes in, his face shocked. “That’s awesome, Katniss.”

“Because she wasn’t smart enough,” Bev says loudly, gaining everyone’s attention. It’s not a question, it’s a statement. As though she’s telling Katniss she is stupid. Katniss isn’t sure if it’s a warning to her, telling her she was not smart to make a scene at dinner, but when she looks up to Bev, she can see Spencer sneering, like he has been waiting for this moment.

“Can you give it a rest for one fucking day?!” Peeta yells, clearly agitated. The entire table comes to a halt, and Spencer’s sneer fades. Katniss notices Naomi’s mouth is hanging open. “It’s Thanksgiving! Can’t we function like a normal family for one damn day?”

“Normal families don’t cuss at the breakfast table. Did _she_ teach you that?” Bev asks, glaring at Katniss as she mumbles something about rudeness and inconsiderate guests.

“Says the woman who wrote the book on how to be rude,” Peeta scoffs, challenging Bev. He matches her glare as the entire table stares at the two of them. “If the only reason you didn’t put up a fuss about Katniss coming with me today was because you wanted to act like this, then we don’t have to be here.” Peeta throws his napkin down and pushes his chair back, standing up angrily. “Come on, Katniss. I’ll make you breakfast at my place.”

He puts his hand out for Katniss to take, and just as she puts her hand in his and stands up, Colin breaks the silence.

“Stop it!” Colin yells, causing Peeta and Katniss to freeze where they stand. He looks around at everyone, and their eyes are now focused on him. “Sit down, both of you,” he instructs, turning his gaze to Bev. “Can I talk to you in the kitchen?”

“Did Dad finally grow his balls back?” Neil whispers, after Colin and Bev disappear into the kitchen.

“Shut the hell up, Neil,” Spencer whispers back angrily.

“Why? Are you pissed because mom’s little plan backfired on her? Eat your waffle, and don’t be afraid to choke on it.”

Spencer jabs his fork into his food bitterly, not saying another word. Neil was right, they had planned this. Bev was trying to do anything she could think of to embarrass Katniss the way she had embarrassed Bev at dinner, and it didn’t work, thanks to Peeta finally speaking up against his mother and Colin finishing the job.

It’s then that Katniss notices she is still holding Peeta’s hand. She rubs her thumb over the top of his hand and squeezes it, an action the two of them have grown accustomed to doing when the other needs reassurance. Peeta did the right thing, though Katniss knows he’s probably telling himself that he ruined breakfast.

Suddenly, Gale gets up from his seat and walks over to Katniss and Peeta, crouching down and placing his hands on each of their shoulders.

“You okay, Katniss?” Gale asks, his voice low. At Katniss’s nod, Gale turns his attention to Peeta. “That was an impressive plate of shut the fuck up you served, man. Were you actually going to leave?”

“Yeah,” Peeta laughs. “I want Katniss to enjoy her breakfast today, so if I had to take matters into my own hands and make it for her myself, then I would have.”

“Good,” Gale says, pleased. “You did the right thing.” He slaps Peeta’s shoulder once lightly before standing up and walking back to sit down next to Neil.

They can hear Bev and Colin whispering loudly and argumentatively in the kitchen, but nobody can seem to make out what is being said. When they return Colin looks pleased with himself while Bev is expressionless.

“Spencer, after breakfast I want to talk to you,” Colin says sternly, picking up a piece of bacon from his plate and taking a bite.

XX

Katniss stands at the sink after breakfast, washing the dishes and pans that Peeta and Neil are bringing in from the dining room. Colin and Spencer enter the kitchen through a side door, and Spencer leaves the kitchen immediately while Colin moves next to Katniss at the sink. He picks up a towel and begins to dry the dishes that Katniss has just washed.

“Don’t worry about my wife,” Colin mutters, looking around for Bev who is moving between the kitchen and dining rooms. “She’s testing you.”

“Oh, I’m not worried about her. She can say whatever she wants to me,” Katniss replies, placing a dish under the running water.

“I didn’t think you’d be a crier like Naomi, but she was far worse on her than she has been on you,” Colin informs her. Katniss is taken aback by that. How could that woman possibly be any worse? “She doesn’t really know how to handle Gale, though. That may be why you’re getting all of it…” he looks around again, and drops his voice even further. “Don’t tell her this, but I think she has fun with you. You fight back.”

“She has a pretty skewed version of fun, then,” Katniss replies, causing Colin to laugh.

“I know.”

“Thank you for saying something earlier, I really didn’t want a repeat of our dinner at Capri,” Katniss says gratefully.

“Don’t mention it, just…” he trails off and looks around again. “Treat him well.”

Katniss knows he is talking about Peeta now and she nods at Colin, smiling.

“Don’t worry,” Katniss assures him. “I will, and I’m not going anywhere.”

XX

Colin and Bev sit on the couch in the living room, while everyone else fits a spot and gets comfortable on the floor to watch the parade. It makes Katniss wonder if this is how they’ve always done it since the boys were kids. She tries to imagine Peeta as a child, sitting on this very floor, watching the large parade floats. Did he have a favorite?

Peeta sits with his back against the coffee table, while Katniss is positioned between his legs, her back is flush against his chest. Their hands are linked together and resting on Katniss’ thighs.

“When did the parade start doing all of this singing shit?” Neil asks, irritated.

“Neil,” Bev warns.

“Sorry, let me rephrase that,” Neil begins sarcastically. “When did the parade start doing all of this singing stuff?” He then begins to mumble, “Twenty-seven years old and I can’t say the word shit.”

“I don’t know, but I kind of like it,” Gale chimes in.

“You would,” Neil says, rolling his eyes.

They are sitting differently than Katniss and Peeta. Gale sits next to Peeta, his back also up against the table, but Neil is lying on his side with his head in Gale’s lap.

Katniss glances over to Spencer and notices the scrutinizing look he is giving Neil and Gale. He doesn’t say a word, but continues to stare until it seems as though he feels Katniss’ eyes on him. He looks to her, and she gives him a look that is full of warning and disdain. She has barely spoken to him, but has the intense urge to tell him off.

He is nothing like his brothers, and Katniss begins to consider what separate hell Spencer put the two of them through in addition to Bev’s torment. The air in the room is suddenly thick and uncomfortable, but Katniss tries to ignore it for Peeta’s sake. She has no plans to move away from Peeta or to make it known how uncomfortable she is, that would only benefit Bev and Spencer in the end, so she leans back into Peeta’s chest even further and looks up at him.

“What was your favorite float when you were a kid?” Katniss asks softly.

“Snoopy!” Neil and Colin say in unison.

Katniss smiles up at Peeta as he nods.

“It was Snoopy,” Peeta confirms. “I always wanted a dog like Snoopy, but I couldn’t have one…”

“Because _Spencer_ is allergic,” Neil adds, bitterly.

“I had a Snoopy stuffed toy that I used to carry around as a substitute,” Peeta says.

“Didn’t you carry it around until you were like, seventeen?” Spencer asks, trying to join the conversation. Katniss can’t see the look Neil gives him, but it must have been one that told him to mind his business, because Spencer offers no more commentary.

“We still have that Snoopy,” Bev says. It’s the first thing she has said since breakfast ended. “It’s out in the garage.”

“Out in the garage with Peeta’s bike?” Neil asks.

“Shut up, Neil,” Peeta warns, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Bike?” Gale asks, jumping in. “Like a motorcycle bike or a bicycle with a bell kind of bike?”

“Motorcycle bike,” Neil replies. He moves from Gale’s lap, smiling widely in Peeta’s direction. “You mean you haven’t told Katniss about your bike, Peeta?”

“Shut up!” Peeta says angrily. He’s clearly embarrassed, but Katniss isn’t entirely sure why.

“You never told me about a motorcycle,” Katniss says, still looking up at him from her position against his chest. Peeta sighs and rolls his eyes, groaning unhappily and letting his head fall back.

He stands up quickly, forcing Katniss off of him as he walks toward the kitchen – she just stares at him as he walks away.

“Well?” Peeta asks, turning around. “Are you coming to the garage to see it or not?”

“You better make sure that thing isn’t leaking in my garage,” Bev says while Katniss gets up from the floor and makes her way to Peeta.

Peeta nods dismissively at Bev and then points an accusing finger at Neil.

“I hate you. So much,” Peeta says, irritated. He grabs Katniss’s hand and begins to lead her toward the garage.

“You love me!” Neil yells after they’re out of the room.

XX

“There it is,” Peeta says, flustered

Katniss stands next to him in the large garage staring at the motorcycle. It’s clearly very old, with red and white coloring amidst the rust. The left mirror is cracked, and she begins to wonder if it even runs.

“It’s a 1970 Honda. I bought it after I graduated from high school with intentions of fixing it up during the summer and when I’d come home from college,” Peeta explains quickly. “But then… Glimmer happened, so I never got the chance.” Katniss nods in understanding and lets him continue. “I don’t really take it out of this garage. It just sits here collecting dust, but I’ve taken it for a spin a few times.”

“So it runs?” Katniss asks, amazed.

“Last time I checked it did. I really should just sell it and forget about renewing my motorcycle license, but I just can’t get rid of it,” Peeta says, touching the handle of the bike.

“Well it’s yours,” Katniss reasons. “It’s special to you.” She nods happily at her logic, but silently hopes he never wants to take her out on a ride with it.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” Peeta asks suddenly. “I really don’t feel like sitting in that living room any more with my mom’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my skull.”

“Yes,” Katniss says, relieved. “If we stay I may end up punching Spencer for the way he keeps looking at Neil and Gale.”

They go back into the house to get their coats and tell everyone that they’re leaving. When Peeta announces that they’re leaving, Neil hops up from his place on the floor and smooths his jeans with his hands.

“We should probably get going, too,” Neil says, watching Gale as he pushes himself from the floor to stand. “We have to get that turkey in the oven soon. Otherwise, we’ll be eating at midnight.”

The four walk out together, wishing each other a Happy Thanksgiving as they get into their cars.

“And good luck making the feast on your own tonight!” Peeta calls out to Neil and Gale before they shut their doors. “We should try that next year,” he says to Katniss, turning the key in the ignition.

“What?” Katniss asks, stunned.

“Make a feast of our own, you and me,” Peeta says.

 Katniss is shocked that he is not only thinking of next year, but including her in his plans. She smiles at him, and nods. It was a nice idea.

“We still have hours before we have to be at your parents’ house. Did you want to go now?” Peeta asks, pulling out of the driveway.

“No!” Katniss says quickly. “I am really excited to see my sister, but that house is too suffocating to go this early.”

“Well, then should we go back to your apartment then?”

“Sure,” Katniss shrugs.

“Want to take a nap?”

“Yes. Definitely.”

XX

Katniss pulls into the driveway of her parents’ house right on time, taking a deep breath before putting the car in park and turning off the ignition.

“Wait there,” Peeta says, hopping out of the passenger seat and opening her door for her again.

Katniss laughs at him and shakes her head, and Peeta shrugs and grins demurely in return. When her feet hit the cement of the driveway, Peeta takes both of her hands in his and tucks the bottle of wine he brought under his arm.

“Are you nervous?” He asks tenderly, looking down at her as she stays seated in the car.

“I am,” Katniss nods.

“More nervous than when you met my parents?”

“About a million times more nervous,” Katniss sighs, finally standing up. “But I should be asking you that. Are _you_ nervous?”

“Maybe a little,” Peeta shrugs. “I don’t want them to hate me, of course, but I’m more excited… I think. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself this stomachache I’ve had the whole ride here is.”

Katniss begins to walk up the driveway, taking Peeta’s hand the same way he took hers when they got to his parents’ house that morning. She pulls open the side door and walks into a small hallway with coats hanging. She shrugs off her coat and hangs it up, taking Peeta’s and doing the same when he pulls his off.

“Katniss?” her mother asks from where she stands at the kitchen sink, her back to the door they came in from.

“It’s me, Mom,” Katniss confirms as she begins to walk up the three steps that lead from the small hallway up into the kitchen. Her mother turns around with a huge smile on her face as Katniss walks into her outstretched arms.

“It’s so good to see you! You really should visit more often,” she says, squeezing Katniss.

“Yeah,” Katniss says imperviously, breaking free from her mother’s grip and stepping to the side, revealing Peeta who is standing there with a nervous grin on his face. “Mom, this is Peeta. Peeta, this is my Mom, Abby.”

“Nice to meet you,” Peeta says, shaking Abby’s hand and offering her the bottle of wine.

“Thank you, Peeta,” Abby says, looking at the bottle in her hands. “It’s nice to meet you too. I wish I could say I’ve heard so much about you, but my daughter is a little quiet and doesn’t tell us too much.”

Peeta glances at Katniss nervously, but doesn’t say anything.

“Joe, Katniss is here!” Abby calls from the small kitchen. She peeks into the living room and shakes her head. “That kid sleeps like a rock.” This causes Katniss to peer in through the same doorway and she sees Prim curled up on the couch asleep under a blanket.

“Long time no see, Sweetheart!” Joe says, walking into the kitchen through the entry on the other side.

“Gross, Dad,” Katniss gripes. “That’s what my boss calls me.” Joe laughs and pulls her into a hug.

“You look great,” Joe says, pulling away to look at her. “Something is agreeing with you.” Just then, he glances over Katniss’s shoulder and locks eyes with Peeta. “And I’m going to guess that it’s you,” he says as Katniss moves out of the way. “Joe.” He takes Peeta’s hand and gives it a vigorous shake. “You’re probably too old to fall for any of my threats, so I’ll just skip that.”

“Thanks,” Peeta laughs nervously. “Peeta Mellark, nice to meet you.” He lets go of Joe’s hand and runs it through his hair, exhaling loudly.

“Peeta brought us wine, Joe,” Abby says, holding up the bottle for him to see.

“Looks like you know how to get on my good side already,” Joe says with a nod, impressed.

“Can I have some of that?” Katniss turns around to see Prim standing in the doorway, wrapped in her blanket and looking bleary eyed.

“No!” Katniss says quickly, but Prim scoffs in her direction.

“I’m twenty-one now, in case you forgot,” Prim says.

Katniss rushes to her and swallows her up in a hug, holding her close. When she pulls back to look at her sister, she realizes that it has been close to a year since she last saw Prim since she stays at school almost full time now.

“You can have _one_ glass with dinner, but that’s it,” Abby says, putting the bottle of wine in the fridge. Prim beams and then sticks her tongue out at Katniss.

“There’s how you prove you’re an adult,” Katniss says sarcastically. She puts her hand out toward Peeta and pulls him toward her after he takes it. “Peeta,” Katniss begins. “This is my baby sister, Prim. Prim, this is Peeta.”

Peeta shakes Prim’s hand and places the other over the top of it securely.

“Katniss talks about you all the time, it’s nice to finally meet the infamous Primrose.”

Katniss notices Prim blush a little, but she quickly ducks her head down to try and hide it.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, too,” Prim replies, lifting her head back up to look at Peeta again.

Prim is the only one that Katniss has talked to about Peeta, and she was sworn to secrecy, just in case something went wrong. Her parents didn’t know she was even dating anyone until she called to tell them she was bringing him to dinner.

“Okay, out of my kitchen. I have a turkey to finish up!” Abby says, shooing everyone out into the living room.

“Katniss?” Prim asks, stopping her from sitting down on the couch. “Can you come upstairs with me for a minute? I want to show you something in my room.”

“Sure. I’ll be right back,” Katniss says to Peeta before looking at her Dad. “Be nice,” she warns Joe.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Joe says innocently.

Katniss follows Prim up the stairs and they make their way down the short hallway to the room that Prim grew up in. It’s still decorated with unicorns, Prim’s favorite when she was little. Prim shuts the door and smiles widely at Katniss.

“Katniss, he is _so_ cute,” Prim beams. “And he seems sweet.”

“He is,” Katniss confirms.

“I can’t believe you brought him home to meet Mom and Dad.” Prim shakes her head at the concept. “What did Mom do when you told her you were bringing a guy to Thanksgiving dinner?”

“At first she thought I meant Gale, but then when I told her it wasn’t Gale, she realized that I meant an actual boyfriend,” Katniss explains.

“Did you call him your boyfriend when you talked to Mom?” Prim asks curiously. Her eyes grow wide when Katniss nods. “This is a big deal, isn’t it, Katniss?”

“Yeah, I think it is,” Katniss says quietly. She looks to the floor embarrassed. “So besides thinking he is cute, what do you think? I told him I’d dump him if you didn’t approve.”

“So far, so good,” Prim nods. “But I’ll let you know yes or no later tonight.”

“Sounds fair,” Katniss laughs, opening Prim’s door so they can head back downstairs.

When Katniss hits the landing on the first floor, she overhears Peeta and Joe talking about football.

“I never really got into football, but I wrestled a bit in junior high and high school,” Peeta explains.

“I always wanted to wrestle in school,” Joe admits.

“Both of my brothers wrestled too, it was just what we did, I guess. Spencer, my oldest brother, even got a scholarship to wrestle in college, but me and my other brother, Neil, stopped after high school,” Peeta says with a shrug. “It was really just something that I did to get out of working at the bakery after school.”

“The bakery?” Joe asks, intrigued.

“Yeah, our family runs a bakery. It has been in the family for several generations now, passed down. Spencer is the next in line to take it over,” Peeta says as Joe nods.

Joe turns his head when he notices Katniss and Prim have returned from upstairs.

“See, I didn’t hurt or threaten him at all, did I, Peeta?” Joe asks, smirking.

“No, he didn’t,” Peeta adds, smiling from ear to ear.

“Dinner will be ready shortly, guys,” Abby says, entering the dining room.

“Time to help set the table and bring the food out,” Joe says, getting up from the couch. “It was nice talking to you, Peeta, as brief as it was.”

“Do you want any help?” Peeta asks, getting ready to stand up too.

“Don’t be silly,” Joe says, putting his hand up to stop Peeta. “Relax and enjoy yourself.”

“They never let us help,” Prim tells Peeta. “It’s their _thing_ to do it all, I guess.”

“My mom usually makes my dad do everything,” Peeta says. “They do cook together though, so I guess that’s something.”

XX

“Are you ready for the million dollar question, Peeta?” Joe asks, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes.

The dinner is a traditional one complete with the turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, cranberries, and dinner rolls.

“Sure,” Peeta smiles, waiting.

“What do you do?” Joe asks.

“I teach art to elementary school students,” Peeta replies as though he’s answered the question a million times before.

“That’s sweet,” Abby smiles. “What is that like? And what is the youngest you’ve ever taught?”

“I taught at the library one summer, I think the youngest kids were two years old, but now I stick to elementary aged kids. The older ones are a lot of fun to teach the different styles of art to, because they are starting to understand it,” Peeta explains. “My favorite is introducing them to Monet’s _Water Garden and Bridge_.”

“That’s the guy that painted with dots, right?” Prim asks.

“Yeah, the dots,” Peeta answers with a laugh. “First I show them a small piece of the painting up close so they can’t quite make out what it is. Then, I show them the full size. I love watching their faces as they realized that a bunch of dots made a picture like that. Then I have them create their own picture with dots.”

Katniss looks down at the table, unable to suppress the smile that creeps up on her face. She can feel her cheeks start to hurt from how wide she must be smiling.

“Joe mentioned that your family has a bakery, but you’re a teacher. Do you consider teaching your calling?” Abby asks.

“I wasn’t sure at first, but the year I spent home teaching the toddlers at the library really opened my eyes and helped me see that teaching was where I wanted to be,” Peeta begins. “I always assumed I’d graduate with an art degree but never use it. I figured I’d end up working at the bakery forever with a degree gathering dust, but I’m glad I was wrong about that.”

“Well you sound very proud of what you do,” Abby says. “That’s rare.”

Katniss grabs Peeta’s hand under the table and gives it a squeeze. She’s happy that he seems to be having a good time tonight.

“So have you met Gale yet, Peeta?” Joe asks.

“Oh yeah,” Peeta nods, taking a sip of wine. “I’m quite familiar with Gale.” Katniss sees his eyes sweep across the table as everyone looks at him, waiting for him to continue. “He’s actually dating my brother.”

Abby and Joe look confused, so Peeta rehashes the story of how they all met so that it makes sense to them.

“I guess you can’t be mad at Gale for dragging you to speed dating, huh?” Joe says to Katniss.

“No,” Katniss agrees. “And I really wanted to hold that over his head for a while, too.”

“Remember the year Katniss brought Gale to Thanksgiving dinner and we thought he was her boyfriend?” Joe says, turning to Abby. Everyone at the table starts to laugh.

“How long did it take you guys to realize that it wasn’t true?” Peeta asks.

“I already knew,” Prim states proudly.

“Of course you did,” Abby says sarcastically. “Katniss tells you everything.” She doesn’t sound mad, but Katniss notices a hint of sadness in her tone.

“We didn’t find out until Abby made the mistake of asking them how long they’d been together,” Joe says. “It took the two of them at least fifteen minutes to stop laughing long enough to tell us that they weren’t together.”

“Gale is the only person Katniss has ever brought home to meet us… until you,” Abby adds. “And since she wasn’t dating Gale, I guess you’re the first boyfriend she’s ever brought to meet us.”

“Really?” Peeta says, shocked.

“Really,” Joe confirms. He looks at Katniss for a moment, as though he’s nervous to continue. “You must be pretty special if she brought you here to meet us.”

Peeta says nothing. Katniss looks at him. The look on his face is a mixture of shock and happiness.

“Well,” Peeta finally manages to say. “This is the first time I’ve ever been brought to meet someone’s parents.”

Now it’s Katniss’s turn to look shocked. She didn’t know that. She always just assumed that he’d met at least Glimmer’s parents since they were together for almost two years. She is now seeing that this is an even bigger deal than she previously thought it was.

Bringing Peeta home to meet her parents was a big step for her, but learning now that Peeta had never met the parents of any of his girlfriends before her was an even bigger step. Not for her, but for Peeta. The fact that he didn’t run away from it made her nerves and hesitation to take this step worth it.

XX

“Well that was a success, I think,” Peeta says, stretching his legs out as far as he can while he sits in the passenger seat of Katniss’s car.

They each enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner, and pumpkin pie for dessert. Initially, Abby was a little nervous to serve it to Peeta, considering his family owns a bakery, but he took his helping and complimented her on how delicious it was, and then helped clean up the table while conversing casually with Prim about school.

When the table was clear, he joined Katniss at the sink to help her wash dishes before they decided it was time to head back to Katniss’s apartment with plenty of leftovers packed up by Abby and sent along with them.

“Yeah, I think they like you,” Katniss agrees, smiling but keeping her eyes on the road.

“Your parents are way cooler than mine,” Peeta says. “They actually function like a team and you guys talk to each other like a family. I like that.”

“We’re not The Brady Bunch or anything,” Katniss laughs, shaking her head. “But we can usually get through the holidays without a screaming match.”

“I was a little worried when your Mom mentioned you hadn’t told her about me,” Peeta admits quietly.

“Don’t be,” Katniss assures him. “I never tell them anything, but Prim knew about you. I didn’t even tell them I got promoted at work last year.”

“Why don’t you talk to them? They seem like nice people,” Peeta says, confused.

“They are,” Katniss confirms. “I don’t know why, but I can only talk to Prim. When I used to tell them things their support always felt… strange.”

“What do you mean? I’d kill for some support from my parents.”

“It always felt patronizing. Like they were holding my hand and patting my head reassuringly so that I didn’t feel like the screw up of the family who couldn’t even get through college without running away from it,” Katniss explains. “So I just stopped telling them things unless I had to.”

“Screw up of the family?” Peeta repeats, puzzled. “I don’t think you’re a screw up, and from what I saw tonight, I really don’t think they do, either.” Silence consumes the car, and when Katniss doesn’t answer, Peeta begins to speak again. “I’m a screw up and I went to college. Being a screw up doesn’t depend on your education, Katniss. Trust me.”

Katniss peels her eyes from the road quickly to glance at him.

“You’re not.” Her tone is short, but also gentle, and she doesn’t offer him more than that, ignoring her phone when it goes off in her pocket.

They pull into the parking spot at Katniss’s apartment a short while later, and before Peeta can tell her to wait for him to open the door for her, she puts her hand up to stop him.

“Can you get the left overs my Mom gave us?” She asks. “I think I can manage opening the door on my own,” her tone is joking and she smiles warmly at him before opening her door and standing up.

Quickly, she pulls her phone from her pocket and looks at the screen. It’s a message from Prim that simply says, “Yes.”

 


	11. Take Your Steps Away From Me

The sound of loud knocking on the apartment door wakes Katniss from a deep sleep. Without thinking, she jumps out of bed, stumbling over the sheets that are still wrapped around her legs. The bright blue numbers on the alarm clock in the otherwise dark room reads 9:10am, and it’s then that she finally realizes what is going on.

It is Christmas morning, and Katniss and Peeta had agreed to exchange gifts with Gale and Neil at 9am at Katniss’s apartment.

Katniss rips her robe from the hook on her closet door and wraps it around her cold, shivering body, not bothering to look for her pajamas that are scattered across the floor at the moment. After fashioning a loose knot in the sash of her robe, she pulls open the blinds covering the windows, allowing sunlight to stream into the room.

“Get up, Peeta,” Katniss says loudly, pushing on his shoulder. He groans and pulls the comforter up higher, burrowing further into the mattress. “Gale and Neil are here, we overslept.”

With another groan, Peeta pulls himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, his hair unkempt, with curls sticking out in different directions. Katniss doesn’t wait for him to get up and make himself look presentable. She sprints from the room, leaving Peeta still sitting on the bed looking confused.

Katniss pulls the door open to find Gale and Neil standing at the threshold, waiting. They’re both dressed up and have clearly been awake for quite a while. Gale holds a wrapped box in his arms that Katniss is she and Peeta’s gift.

“Well, Merry Christmas, Sunshine,” Neil says with a chuckle.

“Merry Christmas,” Katniss grumbles, inviting them in.

Gale walks straight into the small dining room, and places the wrapped box down on the table near the tree with the other gifts that are already there. It’s a small tree, situated on top of the table. Since there is no room anywhere in the living room for the tree, and Katniss rarely uses the table to eat, anyway, she and Peeta decided that it was the best place for it. What matters to her isn’t that the tree is small, or that it has to be put on the table, but that the tree is real. It’s the first one she has ever put up in her own place, and she and Peeta picked it out together.

“Have a seat on the couch, Peeta and I can take the floor,” Katniss says, gesturing with her hand for them to sit down. “I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”

Katniss disappears into the small kitchen, quickly going through the motions of preparing a pot of coffee before grabbing her tea kettle from the stove and filling it with water. Placing the kettle down on the burner, she pulls a teabag from the cabinet above the stove, and sets it down next to the mug Peeta uses the mornings he is there.

After exiting the kitchen, she notices Gale and Neil snickering on the couch as they peer down the hall. Katniss follows their eyes and sees Peeta stumbling tiredly down the hallway. He still looks half asleep, but at least he has clothes on now — sort of. His light blue lounge pants are wrinkled, and the drawstrings are stuck under the waistband. In his hand he clutches a simple, white t-shirt that he quickly pulls over his head as he enters the living room.

“Merry Christmas,” Peeta says in Gale and Neil’s direction, sleep still heavy in his voice. Without a care, he moves to Katniss and grabs her hips, bringing her body closer before kissing her.

Katniss can taste toothpaste and for a moment feels uneasy. She jumped out of bed so quickly she didn’t have time to brush her teeth yet, but Peeta doesn’t seem to mind.

“Merry Christmas,” Peeta says again, but this time his tone indicates it’s only for Katniss to hear.

Katniss returns the sentiment, looking up at him. She brushes his hair from his forehead and smiles at the sight of it falling right back to the unkempt state it was just in. “There’s a kettle on for your tea and a pot of coffee for everyone else. I’m going to get dressed.”

“We woke you guys up, didn’t we?” Gale asks, amused. “We did say 9am, right?”

“Well, we overslept,” Katniss replies, moving away from Peeta.

“Up late knocking boots?” Neil chimes in with a considerable amount of implication in his voice. Peeta flips his middle finger up to Neil. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Katniss excuses herself to her bedroom to find her clothes. Piece by piece she plucks the discarded undergarments, lounge pants, and the t-shirt of Peeta’s she wore to bed from the floor. She looks at the navy blue shirt, another novelty from Peeta’s collection. The familiar red, Mario Brothers mushroom stares back at her before the words “size matters” catch her eye.

Shaking her head, she balls the t-shirt and her panties up and shoves them into the laundry basket. There was no way she was going to wear that shirt around Neil and Gale — she’d never hear the end of it.

While she dresses, she hears the tea kettle begin to whistle loudly, but almost as quickly as it started, the sound dies out, and she knows that Peeta must have gone and taken care of it.

Katniss can’t help but smile. He was finally starting to act like he was comfortable there again. Not long after Thanksgiving, Peeta once again stopped abiding by his rule to stay at his own apartment on work nights. Now, he spends one night a week at his own place, at best.

After brushing her teeth, Katniss goes back out to the living room to find Peeta sitting on the floor with two steaming mugs in front of him on the coffee table and another two in front of Gale and Neil.

“Black with one tablespoon of sugar, right?” Peeta asks, pointing to her mug. Katniss nods as she plops down on the floor beside him, reaching for her mug and wrapping her hands around it and letting the heat from the coffee warm her chilled hands. With Peeta wanting to sleep with the windows open, her bedroom was almost constantly way colder than the rest of the apartment now that winter had taken over.

“What the hell are these?” Neil asks, pointing at the table. Katniss’s eyes fall on the candy creatures that Peeta brought over with him two days ago. She looks to Peeta, waiting for him to explain.

“They were a project that I did with the kids in my first grade class the last day of school before break,” Peeta explains. “We used mints and gumdrops to create bugs, and after class, a few of them gave me theirs, so I brought them here.”

“Was the Hello Kitty air freshener girl one of them?” Gale asks, staring at a bug with a purple gumdrop face.

“She was,” Peeta confirms. He laughs loudly before a comfortable silence fills the room while they sip their drinks.

A short time later, Katniss sets her empty mug back on the coffee table and looks around. It looks much different in the apartment than it did last Christmas.

There was no tree last year. She didn’t want one, and didn’t see the need for one. The only person that saw her apartment on Christmas Day was Gale, anyway. He showed up after noon that day and let himself in with the key Katniss had given him. Katniss was in the shower preparing to go see her parents and Prim. When she walked out into the living room wrapped in a towel and saw Gale sitting on the couch eating the cookies her neighbor left for her, she was so startled that she made him give her the key back. To this day, that key still sat buried in the bottom of the empty vase that sat on the pass-through in the kitchen; she had almost forgotten it was even in there.

“Are you guys hungry?” Katniss asks. Peeta, Neil, and Gale all nod in unison. “How about we open gifts first, and then we can have breakfast?”

When everyone gets up from their places to grab the presents by the tree, Neil stays on the couch, fishing out an envelope from the inside pocket of his coat.

Even though they had all agreed to exchange gifts at Katniss’s apartment, Gale and Neil only showed up with one gift and the envelope that Neil just pulled from his coat. The fact that Gale doesn’t seem to have anything for Neil isn’t lost on Katniss, but she has no plans to ask about it.

Gale and Neil open their gift from Katniss and Peeta first. Katniss waits anxiously as Neil smooths his hand over the flat surface of the dark wood on the butcher block cutting board before looking up to her and Peeta.

“Do you guys like it?” Peeta asks worriedly. “Katniss insisted it was a good idea, because she saw the small, worn out cutting board you were using the night we came over for dinner.”

“It’s perfect, thank you,” Neil smiles. Gale nods, looking impressed with the choice.

“Yeah, thank you! Now I won’t have to be afraid of getting Salmonella from that old cutting board, anymore,” Gale jokes, pushing the present for Katniss and Peeta across the table in their direction. “Okay, now you guys open yours.”

It’s a pretty large box. Peeta scoots up on his knees and grabs it, pulling it down to the floor in front of him and Katniss. He takes the silver bow from the top of the box and sticks it to Katniss’s forehead.

“That’s a good look,” Peeta smirks. “Matches your eyes.” He brings his focus back to the gift and begins to rip the paper away. When Katniss sees what it is, she yanks the bow from her forehead and throws it into the pile of wrapping paper at her feet.

Katniss stares at the picture of the red KitchenAid mixer on the box in front of them. She has seen how much these things cost, and she glances at Peeta who seems to share her concern. Peeta is just about to shake his head “no” when Gale stops him.

“Don’t even think about telling us to take it back,” he warns. “We agonized for weeks over what to get you two, and this was the only thing we could agree on.”

Katniss doesn’t know what to say. The gift is great, expensive, and held implications that worried her. This wasn’t something that she and Peeta could each have a piece of separately. It isn’t a set of towels they could divvy up and split at the end of the day. This is something that was meant to exist in only one place. Katniss isn’t sure if Gale and Neil realized that implication when they bought the gift, but she suspects that they did. She looks over at Peeta to gauge his reaction.

Peeta appears to be smiling down at the box as he turns it around admiring the picture of the mixer.

“Well, it’ll be a lot easier to make you that Tiramisu now,” Peeta says with a shrug.

Katniss laughs in relief. He isn’t running away from the gift’s implications. The warmth she feels over the realization has her even more anxious for Peeta to open his gift. After exchanging thank yous, Katniss leans forward, grabbing the box with Peeta’s gift in it and puts it down in front of him.

“It’s your turn,” Katniss says, tapping the box twice anxiously before moving her hand away.

Peeta beams when he sees the 4-slice Belgian waffle maker.

“No more Eggos ever again,” Katniss says. She’s practically bouncing with excitement. He likes the gift. He can’t stop staring at it.

“You would have thought we all agreed to get each other kitchen stuff,” Neil chuckles. Katniss notices how big Neil’s smile is. The corners of his cheeks puff up under his eyes so much that it almost looks painful. “Hey Peeta?” He asks, breaking Peeta’s focus on reading the box. “Did you get Spencer’s Christmas card?”

“I got it, but I didn’t open it. It’s still sitting on my TV at my apartment,” Peeta confesses, though he doesn’t sound ashamed by it.

“So that’s why you didn’t bring it up,” Neil says.

“What would I have to say about a Christmas card?” Peeta asks, his nose crinkled in confusion. “It’s the same plasticized portrait of Spencer and Naomi in front of their fireplace every year.”

“Not this year,” Neil says, shaking his head. He looks at Gale, who nods.

“Might as well just tell me now, I’m not going back to my apartment before we stop by Mom and Dad’s this afternoon, so if there’s something I need to know… tell me,” Peeta.

“Naomi is pregnant,” Neil reveals, monotone. “The picture this year is their ultrasound and an announcement that there is a ‘New Mellark’ on the way.”

“Seriously?” Peeta looks dumbfounded at the news.

“Yep,” Neil nods. “Due in late July.”

“Wow…”

“Congratulations, Peeta! You’re going to be an uncle!” Neil cries sarcastically. His face quickly falls into a look of indifference over the situation. “Poor kid. You know Mom is going to smother it, and it’ll probably end up just like Spencer. That’s what we all need, isn’t it? Another Spencer.” Katniss makes a noise that rises up in the back of her throat. It causes Neil to look at her, and he laughs. “Katniss gets it.”

Although Katniss suspects that Peeta and Gale get it too, they remain quiet about the whole situation, until Peeta shakes his head quickly, as though he’s trying to clear it.

“Who’s next?” Peeta asks, tapping a tune out on the box of his waffle maker.

“I’ll go,” Neil volunteers, seizing the envelope and handing it to Gale.

Gale opens the envelope quickly, pulling out a card before beginning to read it out loud.

“I couldn’t put an entire cabin under the tree, so here is a card to let you know we’re going on a trip. I rented a cabin in the woods for a week, we leave in April,” Gale reads. His face is hidden behind the card, but Katniss notices the edge of excitement in his voice as he reads. “I haven’t been on vacation in almost four years.”

Finally, he sets the card down in his lap and turns to Neil.

“Do you like it?” Neil asks hopefully.

“Love it,” Gale smiles. He wraps his hand around the back of Neil’s neck and pulls him close, placing a lingering kiss on his lips. “Thank you, baby.”

“Should I show them what you got me, now?” Neil murmurs, his forehead resting against Gale’s.

“If you’re ready,” Gale nods, releasing his hold on Neil’s neck. That’s why Gale didn’t have a gift for Neil when they got there — he already gave it to him.

Neil stands up and grabs his coat that is slung over the arm of the couch. Reaching into the front pocket, he pulls something out and walks over to Katniss and Peeta. In his hand is a small, blue box and he opens it, showing them the contents.

It’s a ring. Katniss and Peeta study it silently for a while. The light from the ceiling fan causes a glare on the shiny silver of the ring. Katniss knows what it is, what it means, but still says nothing. She looks up at Neil quickly, and he’s smiling. Then, her gaze flies to Gale who has a lopsided grin on his face.

“Are you kidding me?” Katniss says excitedly. She jumps from her spot on the floor and runs to Gale who stands up from the couch and catches her just as she throws her arms around his neck and hugs him. “Congratulations,” she mutters into his neck.

As Gale sets her back down on the floor, her excitement fades suddenly. Peeta. She turns quickly to look at the spot on the floor where Peeta was sitting just a moment ago, but instead her eyes land on Peeta and Neil embracing and laughing. Relief floods her body and she lets her shoulders slump down in relaxation.

They switch places, and Peeta, beaming widely, shakes Gale’s hand, pulling him in for a quick hug. But when Peeta pulls away and turns around Katniss notices his face fall instantly. She can’t quite read the expression that is there, but it is a far cry from the look of excitement that painted his features less than a minute ago. Nobody else seems to notice.

Peeta sits back on the floor and brings his knees in close to his chest while resting his forearms on them and letting his hands hang down, clasped in front of him.

“Gale proposed this morning with the ring,” Neil begins. “He is going to be ordering an identical ring in a few weeks.”

“I wanted to make sure he said yes before I got a second one,” Gale laughs. Katniss smiles cordially at them, trying her best to not let either of them see the worry on her face.

“We’re aiming for a June wedding,” Neil continues.

“We know that’s quick by wedding standards, but we really don’t want to wait,” Gale adds.

“When it’s right, it’s right.” Neil and Gale are volleying back and forth with their words, ample amounts of excitement in their voices.

“No point in prolonging the inevitable.”

“It’s going to be simple, we want both of you to be part of it. You can be my Best Woman, Katniss,” Gale smiles at his play on words and she nods.

“And Peeta, my Best Man,” Neil says, looking at Peeta who is staring at Neil and Gale. He has a smile plastered on his face, but Katniss can see right through it. His eyes are blank and expressionless. “If you’ll agree, I mean.”

“Of course,” Peeta replies, giving Neil a halfhearted thumbs up.

“We don’t really want or need a wedding party beyond that, but that’s really all we have figured out so far. The rest will come in the weeks ahead,” Gale finishes.

“Sounds like you have a good start already,” Katniss says approvingly.

“So, Peeta… what’d you get for Katniss?” Gale asks. His question is innocent, Katniss knows it is, but she can see Peeta recoil at the words.

Peeta stands up and grabs the last gift on the coffee table, setting it down in front of Katniss almost reluctantly. Katniss wants to believe that it’s nerves over whether or not she will like the gift, but she isn’t hopeful that’s all it is. He stays standing for a second, his eyes landing on the candy creations from his students as though he wants to pick the mint off of one and eat it. Instead, he clenches his fists at his sides and sits back down next to Katniss.

Katniss begins to pull the wrapping paper slowly, listening to the sound of the paper ripping until Peeta’s voice stops her.

“It’s not a trip, or a ring…”

“It’s a baby, isn’t it!?” Neil asks jokingly. Neil smiles at Peeta, but the look Peeta gives in return clearly sends the message that he did not think Neil’s joke was very funny. “Sorry,” Neil says quickly, his eyes wide.

“Open your gift, Katniss,” Gale says, attempting to put the focus back where it needs to be. Katniss gives Gale a grateful smile, and he nods once in her direction.

Katniss resumes pulling the wrapping paper from the gift. She can feel the canvas and knows before even seeing it that it’s a painting. She flips it over to look at it, taking in the sight of what Peeta painted for her.

It’s a view of the bench that they sat on near the river the night they met and took their walk. The river shimmers with the reflection of the yellow lights that shine down on it. The trees above the bench are in full bloom, and the city’s buildings in the distance are alive with light and life.

It looks so real. It looks just like it did that night. Katniss reaches her hand out and touches the painting. She isn’t sure why she does it, but it’s pulling her in. It is making her remember that night. Their conversations about Neil, Peeta’s shoes, Prim. She remembers the way Peeta wiped the eyelash from her face, the coffee he forced himself to drink so he could spend more time with her, and their kiss before he left her apartment when he brought her home.

All of it comes rushing back to her. Every feeling, every butterfly, and every bit of joy and heartache that came with it. The feeling of his lips on hers, his hand in hers, his body moving above her. To Katniss, there is no better gift that she could get from him. He has given her memories and a reminder that she can keep, hang, and look at whenever she wants.

Katniss looks at Peeta, her eyes soft as she stares into his unsure and nervous gaze. She reaches her hand up and caresses his cheek. Peeta leans into it and closes his eyes as Katniss continues to move her hand up and through the messy curls.

Finally, she leans forward and captures his lips, kissing him the way that she remembers him kissing her that first night. Slowly, sensually, his lips between hers, her fingers combing through the hair on the back of his head.

“It’s beautiful, thank you,” Katniss murmurs when she pulls away.

She can’t stop the feelings of guilt that rise up. She gave him a waffle maker. It almost seems too thoughtless after what Peeta just gave her. But then she remembers the look on his face when he opened it. How genuinely happy he seemed to be to receive it, and she knows then that her gift meant just as much to him as his meant to her, because of the thought that went into it -- not because of what it was, or how much it was. How could he feel like he had to apologize because he didn’t book an expensive vacation or buy her a ring? It isn’t about money or flashy things. Katniss has never received a gift like this from anyone, and judging by the look on Peeta’s face when he opened his gift, he had never received a gift that was chosen thoughtfully.

“Jesus, do you think they’re going to remember we’re here before they go at it on the floor?” Gale whispers to Neil. Neil chuckles at the observation, causing Katniss and Peeta to break away from each other, both of them looking a little sheepish. Gale wasn’t wrong — she had forgotten there was anyone else there. She looks to the waffle maker, desperate for a reason to take the focus off of what just happened.

“Who wants waffles?” Katniss asks, pushing herself off the floor. Peeta follows, picking up his gift and disappearing into the kitchen.

XX

“Did you expect them to get engaged so quickly?” Peeta asks out of nowhere. Katniss freezes where she is standing at the sink, the water from the faucet making the small kitchen noisy. She turns around, but Peeta’s back is to her as he wipes down the inside of the waffle maker. His voice sounded genuinely curious as opposed to the scathing and judgmental tone he took when he called Neil and Gale fools for moving in together, but there is something else underneath it.

“It’s surprising and not surprising, really,” Katniss answers with a shrug that she knows Peeta can’t see. “I knew what Gale was looking for when he dragged me out the night he met Neil, I just didn’t expect it… right now. I thought they’d live together for a while first, and go from there.”

“Well I’m surprised all around,” Peeta states. “I really didn’t expect Neil to move so quickly. Living together is one thing, but marriage?”

“I guess they meant it when they said when it’s right, it’s right,” Katniss replies.

“And Spencer is going to be a father.” Peeta’s words are laced with bitterness now, and he doesn’t even seem to be trying to hide it. Katniss isn’t shocked, it is Spencer they’re talking about. “I just feel like I don’t know my brothers anymore,” he admits, sadly. “They’re getting married, having kids, and I can’t even put my clothes in a drawer.”

He sounds very much like he did the night he told Katniss he was losing his mind. There is anguish in his voice, like he is out in the middle of the sea without anyone to save him. He appears next to Katniss for a second before he sighs loudly and throws the rag into the sink, leaving the kitchen without letting Katniss reply.

Katniss walks into the living room after finishing the dishes and notices Peeta curled up on the couch, asleep. She looks at the painting propped against the coffee table, and then to the bare spot above the couch. It’s the perfect place to hang it, and she wants to hang it as soon as possible.

Taking a seat on the floor next to the couch, Katniss takes Peeta’s hand from where it was hanging over the side of the cushion and laces their fingers together. She’s scared. Scared that Peeta is beginning to pull away again, but for what reason? Because he couldn’t give her an expensive gift like Neil and Gale? Because he made her gift and put his heart into it? Because his brothers are at different places in their lives than him? Why did he always let himself become consumed with feeling inferior?

Katniss thinks about Bev. The things she said to him in just the two times she has been around her. She imagines similar, awful things that she probably said to him when he was growing up.

Is this Bev’s fault? Is it Clove, Glimmer, and Cashmere’s fault? Or is it Peeta’s fault? Katniss doesn’t know who to blame, or if she should blame anyone at all. Is it right for her to try to find someone to blame as these thoughts are eating Peeta alive?

She sets her head down on the couch cushion near Peeta’s head and closes her eyes.

XX

The month following Christmas was not a good one. The fuss Bev made over Spencer and Naomi when Katniss and Peeta were there on Christmas Day seemed to set off a side of Peeta that Katniss hasn’t yet seen.

The pregnancy was all Bev talked about in the short time they were there, even going as far as to ignore Gale and Neil’s engagement announcement to continue talking about Spencer giving her a grandchild. She made digs in regards to Peeta and Clove until not only Katniss and Peeta, but Gale and Neil stormed out of the house.

Since then, not only is Peeta growing distant again, but he is growing distant in entirely different ways — worse ways.

He still shows up at Katniss’s apartment just about every night, but he may as well not be there. He barely eats, they never go out, and half of the time he either goes right to sleep or lays around staring at the TV like he is in a trance.

She can’t even remember the last time they had sex. Two weeks, she’d guess, but she has been too worried to keep track.

They eat dinner in silence most nights, and half of the time she is the only one that is actually eating. When she hangs his painting over the couch and showed him, she expects him to be happy about it. Instead, he simply nods and said he is going to take a nap.

She has to do something.

She tries Delly first. When Peeta is in the shower one night, she swipes his phone from the bed side table and finds her in his contacts. Quickly, she jots down Delly’s e-mail address. She feels bad snooping in his phone, but she is trying to find someone to talk to about this. It is for his own good.

The next day at work, she e-mails Delly asking her for any information about Peeta that may help her help him, typing out in detail what she has been dealing with. Delly knew him better than Neil even did during their college years, and if anyone has answers, Katniss hopes it is Delly.

Delly’s reply is kind, but shocking. She gives Katniss a wealth of information on what Peeta was like in college, explaining that this is what Peeta does when he stays in his head too long. He gets distant, depressed, and down on himself. After his last breakup, he disappeared for an entire year before contacting Delly and her boyfriend Thom again. In that year, Delly would e-mail him, but the e-mails were never returned. He was unlisted in the phone book, changed his phone number, and had nothing online to find any information about him or a way to contact him. Delly had tried it all.

Delly closes the e-mail on a somber note, revealing to Katniss that she and Thom spent a lot of time during that year Peeta was away looking through the obituaries for his name, hoping they’d never, ever see it. She believes Peeta is in the midst of a depressive episode and apologizes to Katniss, telling her that if she ever needed to talk, she would be willing to listen.

This is far worse than Katniss ever imagined, and now she isn’t sure what to do. The only thing she knows is that sitting around isn’t going to help. Her silence has made everything worse. Something has to be done, and this has to be fixed no matter what it means for their future. Peeta could not continue like this.

XX

"Thanks for coming on such short notice,” Katniss says. She sits in the corner of a booth at the diner she and Peeta went to the night they met, and she pulls her coat around her tighter when the door opens and fills the small space with the cold January air.

 

“No problem, what’s going on?” Neil asks, sitting down across from her. He pulls his gloves off and sets them on the table, nodding when the waitress stops to offer him coffee.

“I’m worried about Peeta,” Katniss says, scooting over in the booth. They’ve barely seen Gale and Neil over the last month due to Peeta not wanting to do anything — they have no idea what is even happening, as far as she knows. Katniss tells Neil about Delly’s e-mail, and the more she says, the more Neil’s face drops. “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore.” Her breathing is erratic due to the rising panic that she feels saying all of this out loud. “It’s too much, and I don’t know how to make it better.”

“I’ve been waiting for this,” Neil sighs. “For the moment when you finally crack. I could see you trying to hold it together for him. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty impressed that you held it together with him for this long.”

“I don’t know how to get him to realize how valuable he is. He needs to see that he’s not a bad person,” Katniss explains as Neil nods at her.

“I have been trying for years to get Peeta to realize that he is respected and admired. It takes a special kind of person to be a teacher, but he never seems to believe what I tell him. I don’t know if it’s because I’m his brother and he thinks I am supposed to be telling him those things or what, but I don’t know what to say to him anymore, either,” Neil swallows hard as he searches Katniss’s eyes. She can see worry there, desperation, even. Did he worry about seeing Peeta’s name in the obituaries one day, too?

“How did you and Gale do it so flawlessly?” Katniss asks, defeated.

“What?”

“Fall in love.”

Neil laughs, but it’s cold and empty.

“It was far from flawless, Katniss.” This is news to Katniss. She raises her eyebrows at him, urging him to continue. “Some of the fights we had… still have.”

“About what?” Katniss asks, freezing. She isn’t sure if she’s allowed to ask him that.

“Gale’s high expectations, my lack of serious relationship experience,” Neil shrugs tiredly.

“You’ve never had a serious relationship?” Katniss questions.

“Not until Gale, and we fought about that a lot. He used to bring you up during those fight. Throw in my face how hard you were trying with Peeta despite the fact that you never wanted anything serious,” Neil explains. “And I was trying, the whole time I was trying, but it just didn’t meet up with Gale’s daydream, I guess, and it used to piss him off, and he would accuse me of not wanting us to work.”

Katniss is floored. Gale compared his relationship with Neil to Katniss’s relationship with Peeta? Their relationships are completely different, how could he compare them? And then it hits her — she has been doing the same thing. Looking at Gale and Neil and wondering why she and Peeta can’t be like that.

Instantly, she feels guilty for doing that. She and Peeta’s relationship is their own, and each couple has their own set of issues to sort out, even if they are hidden well like Gale and Neil’s.

“We had some close calls,” Neil confesses. “The worst was right after we moved in together. We fought for hours, though I can’t even remember what it was about now. I packed a bag and everything and was about to leave, but now I’m glad I didn’t.”

“Do you regret them?”

“The fights?” Neil asks. “No. Sometimes you have to get it off your chest. They help.” At Katniss’s nod, Neil proceeds. “Do you and Peeta ever fight?”

“No. Not like what you’re describing,” Katniss admits. “The only big fight we’ve really had was right after we met, I’m pretty sure he called you that night.”

“He did. And you haven’t had a fight since?”

“They say you have to choose your battles, but I never know which ones to choose,” Katniss says sadly.

“Well, that’s the problem,” Neil says, shaking his head. “You can’t be afraid to fight, Katniss. Fight with him… for him.”

Katniss sighs. She understands what Neil is saying, but she still feels broken, tired, and fed up.

“I just don’t know if I can do this anymore,” Katniss mutters, staring into her coffee mug longer than she intends before eventually looking up at Neil.

Neil is silent as her words sink in. Finally, he nods.

“Then you need to decide, Katniss,” Neil says seriously. “Neither one of you should continue living like this, it’s not fair.” She looks down into her mug once more, unable to look Neil in the eye any longer. “Do you love him?”

Katniss is quiet and still unable to look up from the mug in front of her. She thinks about Peeta, who is at the apartment right now, probably wondering where she is at. She thinks about the painting that hangs over the couch, the perfect replica of that perfect evening where everything felt right, good, and different in only the best ways.

What happened to that? To them? Tears spring to her eyes and in a choked voice, she looks up at Neil and whispers, “Yes, I do.”

“Then scream at him at the top of your lungs until he understands how much you love him.” He pauses and looks at her, his face soft, but distressed. “Even if you decide you can’t do it anymore, at least let him know how much you love him.”

XX

 

The apartment is dark and silent when Katniss opens the front door, but she knows Peeta is still there. She saw his car when she pulled into the parking lot. As she moves further into the apartment, she looks to the KitchenAid box on the dining room table, still unopened, still in the same spot they set it on Christmas Day. They haven’t touched it since.

Quietly, she walks down the hall and into the bedroom where she sees Peeta lying in bed above the covers in the dim room, breathing softly. Katniss crawls into bed with him and sits cross legged next to his sleeping form.

Reaching out, she traces the contours of his face with the tips of her fingers. Even asleep he looks troubled. She runs her fingers through his hair idly, looking at the stress lines between his eyebrows. His mouth twitches before his eyes open and look up at her.

“Hey,” she says gently, smiling down at him. “Are you hungry?” She plans to make a large dinner tonight, one they will have to use the dining room table for instead of the couch. From there she plans to talk to Peeta about his troubles, her troubles, her feelings for him — everything.

“Not really,” Peeta replies dully, rolling over and away from her. Her stomach drops at his actions, and she can feel the blood run cold in her veins.

As though a switch has been flipped, her sadness turns to frustrated anger. She knows Peeta is not asleep, but she speaks loudly anyway.

“I can’t do this anymore, Peeta.” With their close proximity to each other, Katniss can feel Peeta’s body go rigid next to her. “I don’t know how to read you. I don’t know what to do anymore. And whatever it is that we’ve been pretending to do since Thanksgiving isn’t working. This isn’t working.” Anger fills her tone, and Peeta is sitting up in bed now, his eyes widening as he realizes what is happening. “I just…” the words die in her throat. What was she going to say? She can’t even remember, so she just says the one thing that she is absolutely sure of. “We failed.”

She gets off of the bed and goes to leave the bedroom, but the sound of Peeta’s voice stops her.

“Katniss…” She turns around, and even though all she can truly see now is Peeta’s silhouette, she focuses on his defeated form. His breathing is erratic and finally, he manages to say, “Help me.”

His voice is hallow, cracked, and Katniss is quite certain that he’s on the verge of crying. On the verge of breaking completely. Because of her. Because of his life. Because of them.

For the second time that day she feels tears prick her eyes, and with her own cracked voice, she says to him, “I don’t know how to help you, Peeta. Or if I can help you.”

“Please…” Peeta begs.

She feels a tear slide down her cheek. He sounds so lost and desperate. It has finally become too much for him. She thinks about Gale and Neil’s wedding in June. How is this going to work now? How are they going to spend the entire day together after ending it like this?

Before Katniss can figure out what she’s doing, she is walking back into the bedroom and climbing into bed, flipping on the light and illuminating the room. She sees that Peeta’s eyes are rimmed in red, and there are dark circles under them, despite how much he has been sleeping. Maybe he hasn’t been sleeping at all, only shutting his eyes and mind to the world and his problems. She feels it making her angry again.

“Do you still think of us when you hear that song we danced to?” Katniss asks, almost harshly. “Do you still try to figure out and decide when it’s time to progress things? Because I need to know what’s going on between us. I need to know what’s going on with _you_.”

“That’s the problem,” Peeta replies shakily. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. People are getting married, they’re having babies, and here I am stalled out, unable to figure out how to function in a relationship that is more important to me than my own life.” He struggles to catch his breath as he rubs his hand over his forehead.

Katniss feels that sensation again at his words. The sensation of her blood running cold. Were Delly’s concerns valid?

“Well, you have a really weird way of showing it.” As hard as she tries not to, the anger in her voice is still clear.

“You’re not so great at it, yourself,” Peeta retorts defensively.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You say nothing. You let things bubble up inside of you and now look at us,” Peeta says, waving his hands between their bodies. This only makes Katniss angrier.

“It should _not_ be up to me to drag everything out of you, Peeta. It’s not my responsibility to chase after you every day and make sure that what I say isn’t going to scare you off again. I’ve done that and that didn’t work, either. How many times do I have to tell you that you can talk to me? This is up to you, Peeta. Not me.” She’s yelling now and she doesn’t care about trying not to anymore.

Peeta stares at her, but doesn’t make a sound.

“You got weird over me offering you a drawer to keep your clothes in, Peeta! And rather than saying that you weren’t ready to do that, you acted like someone just killed your dog in front of you.” She takes a deep breath, but quickly continues. “When are you going to notice that I’m not going to get mad at you for being honest with me? That’s all I want from you, Peeta. Honesty. Tell me what’s bothering you, tell me what makes you happy, tell me if you think we’re moving too fast. Tell me how you feel!”

Katniss jumps off the bed again and storms out of the bedroom, ignoring Peeta when he calls after her this time. She hears him jump off the bed as well, padding loudly across the floor after her, calling her name.

She stops in the middle of the living room and looks at the painting. She knows Peeta is behind her.

“I think it could have been good, you know. Us,” Katniss says sadly, not turning around. “Take this painting with you when you leave. I can’t be expected to keep it here. I can’t see it everyday. It hurts too much.”

“Katniss…”

“I can’t look at that and remember how perfect that night was. How sweet you were, how open you seemed.”

“Katniss…”

“The way you kissed me. I really thought…” she begins to choke up again, though her tears never truly left at all, but were only masked by anger. But she’s breaking now, too. “I don’t know what I thought… but I hoped.”

“What did you hope?” Peeta murmurs, almost inaudibly. Katniss still doesn’t turn to look at him, her eyes are fixated on the painting and she can’t tear them away.

“That maybe I’d finally stop being afraid to love.” The room goes silent for a long time.

“Katniss… turn around,” Peeta says finally.

Slowly, Katniss turns around, tears streaming down her face, and she notices that tears streak Peeta’s face, as well.

“I can’t lose you,” Peeta begins, shaking his head. “You’re the only thing outside of my job that makes sense. We make sense. Don’t you see that?”

“Don’t _you_ see that?” Katniss counters.

“I see it. I feel it. Please don’t do this,” Peeta presses.

“You did this,” Katniss mutters.

Peeta falls silent. He puts his head down and looks at the floor.

“I know,” Peeta admits, looking up. Tears well up behind his eyes and Katniss can tell he is trying not to blink so that they don’t fall. “And I know this probably means nothing to you right now, but I wish you’d give me a chance to fix this.”

“How can I trust that you won’t disappear again, Peeta?” Katniss asks, unconvinced.

“You can’t,” Peeta answers honestly. “But I would give anything in the world for you to believe me right now…” He takes a deep breath through his nose and clenches his jaw. “Because I’m in love with you.”

“Peeta…” This time, Peeta ignores her.

“I am so in love with you that sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe when I think about what I’ve been doing to you. It hurts more than anything to see how much this hurts you.”

Katniss wants to tell him that she knows. That she understands what it feels like, because his pain hurts her just as much as it hurts him. To see him so upset, so down on himself hurts her in ways she never imagined possible, but she can’t let his words sway her. She needs answers.

“Then why did you do it?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” Peeta admits. “I can’t control it… I need help.”

“We can get you help,” Katniss says reluctantly. Would he go for that? Talking to a stranger about the things he has dealt with his entire life? She sees Peeta’s lip trembling at her words and once again, her tears begin.

“I need you, Katniss.” At that moment Peeta stops trying to hold back his tears and they spill over as sobs wrack his body.

“I need you more,” Katniss replies through her own tears. In an instant, they close the space between them and embrace. Peeta’s grip is so tight around her body that she cannot move. His body is trembling against hers, his breathing coming out in gasps as he tries to regain control. 

Finally, they pull away. Tears soak Peeta’s shirt where Katniss rested her head, and she looks into Peeta’s eyes, brushing his hair from his forehead.

“I love you.”

“Promise?” Peeta asks. It makes Katniss wonder how many times Glimmer or Cashmere said it to him but never meant it.

“I promise,” Katniss nods, standing up on her tip toes and kissing his lips quickly. “And I promise to help you, but you have to help me, too. We won’t survive if we don’t help each other.”

“I promise,” Peeta nods, matching her kiss.

“Say it again.” Peeta looks at her like he isn’t sure what she means, but after she stares back at him imploringly, he seems to figure it out.

He leans in to her hair, his hands coming to rest on her hips, and he whispers, “I love you.”


	12. Outtake: Shut Down the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This outtake takes place immediately after the end of "Take Your Steps Away From Me". I had all of this in my head back when I originally outlined this story, but never planned on writing it. It wouldn't have worked with chapter 10, and definitely not with chapter 11, but after I posted chapter 10, I got to thinking more and more about all of this "in between" stuff that I was planning to keep hidden and I had this overwhelming urge to write a little bit of it, so here it is. Enjoy!

As soon as the words leave Peeta’s mouth, his head falls to the crook of Katniss’s neck and he whimpers feebly. Katniss can feel the warm tears against her skin as Peeta nestles his face against her, pulling her even further into his arms. Peeta grabs her, his hands gripping frantically at her shoulder and hip as though he’s trying to gather her up and bring her closer, while knowing she can’t ever possibly be close enough.

Katniss’s hand grips Peeta’s shoulder with comparable frenzy. She clutches the fabric of his t-shirt in one hand while her fingernails rake up and down the back of his neck with the other, causing him to shudder. The heat from Peeta’s mouth warms Katniss’s skin as he breathes heavily against her, letting the muffled sounds of his weeping vibrate against her neck.

“Peeta,” Katniss whispers soothingly. Her lips brush against Peeta’s ear as he pulls away to look at her, his eyes are so full of sentiment and sadness, Katniss feels as though she’ll be crushed under the weight of his gaze. “Let’s go to bed.”

Katniss and Peeta’s hands find each other without words. Their fingers lock together, and Katniss gives Peeta’s hands a gentle squeeze as she begins to lead him toward the bedroom. Their footsteps are muted by their socks, and the silence isn’t broken until Katniss closes the bedroom door and clicks the lock securely into place.

“So it’s just you and me,” Katniss explains in response to Peeta’s questioning look. She knows it sounds absurd. There is nobody that would threaten to walk into the bedroom – or the apartment for that matter. Gale hasn’t had a key in over a year. But it makes sense to Katniss. Locking the door means locking out everything. It means shutting down the world, even if it’s only for the night.

Reluctantly, Katniss lets go of Peeta’s hand and gives her dresser a look before deciding that she doesn’t care about changing out of her sweater and jeans – she’ll just sleep in her clothes. Any semblance of energy that she came home with has been sapped from her body.

When Katniss feels Peeta’s hand gently brush down her spine, she turns to see him staring at her with pleading eyes. The tears seem to have dried for now, but the sadness still remains. She takes a step closer, allowing Peeta’s hands to slide under the loose cotton sweater, lingering over her stomach. The tips of Peeta’s fingers trace around Katniss’s bellybutton. The touches are light, almost non-existent and Katniss closes her eyes, letting the feather-like touches calm her tired muscles.

“I need to feel your skin,” Peeta says, deflated. “Hold you.” His hands latch on to the hem of Katniss’s sweater. “Please.” He swallows hard, screwing his eyes shut briefly as tears begin to well up once more.

Katniss reaches a shaking hand up, dragging the pad of her thumb under Peeta’s eye. She catches a stray tear and wipes it from his face just as his eyes flutter open. With her thumb still caressing his cheek, Katniss nods.

Peeta’s hands tug at the bottom of the sweater as she hoists it up and over Katniss’s head in a slow, but smooth motion. His hands immediately return to her skin once the black cotton has hit the floor. His touches are deft and never idle in one spot for very long, but the trail of heat the touches leave behind force Katniss’s hands to emulate the touches along Peeta’s body, stopping only to remove the t-shirt that blocked her hands him feeling his skin, too.

Before long, Peeta is tugging at Katniss’s jeans. Katniss leans forward, holding herself up against Peeta’s shoulders as he gingerly pulls the jeans down and off her legs. Peeta’s sweatpants come off much more easily, and he kicks them from around his feet before pulling Katniss into him and enveloping her in his body.

Gently, Katniss coaxes Peeta to the bed, lying down on her back right in the center before extending her arms out to him. Peeta crawls on top of her, stopping halfway and laying his head on top of her chest. Katniss’s arms instinctively move around Peeta’s body, her fingers ghosting along the contour of his back.

The room is silent for what feels like an eternity. Katniss keeps her eyes shut, trying to force sleep, but nothing comes. All she can focus on is the weight of Peeta’s head resting on her chest and the grip his hand has on her shoulder. Katniss rests her chin on the top of Peeta’s head as she continues to languidly brush her fingers up and down his back.

Katniss is just beginning to drift to sleep when a gasp from Peeta steals it from her. They way her hands tighten over Peeta’s skin cause him to look up.

“I’m sorry,” Peeta murmurs. “I didn’t want to wake you.” Katniss can see tears wetting the corners of his eyes again.

“I wasn’t asleep,” Katniss assures him, running her hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead.

“You should sleep,” Peeta insists firmly, though his voice is shaky and forced.

“Not until you do,” Katniss counters.

“I can’t,” Peeta whimpers, defeated. He shifts, tightening his grip on Katniss. “What’s wrong with me?” The question is full of despair and tinged with what Katniss thinks may be hope. Hope that she may have an answer for him.

“Shhh,” Katniss coos, pulling her fingers through Peeta’s hair soothingly. “It’s going to be okay now.”

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” Peeta chokes out tiredly.

“Get some sleep,” Katniss urges, kissing the top of his head. She continues to run her fingers through his hair, down his back, and over his cheek until she feels his breathing finally switch from uneven hiccups to a steady, deep rhythm. Katniss finally closes her eyes, pushing away the thoughts of how much work they have ahead of them and how many more nights like this they’ll have until things begin to feel better – until they can begin to breathe again.

XX

The night proceeds in a pattern. Peeta never is able to gain enough control over his mind to sleep restfully. He tosses and turns, sighs and fusses, calming only when Katniss begins to touch him again.

How long has he been fighting nights like this? How long has he kept himself locked in his own personal hell for Katniss’s sake? She thinks to his insistence on spending at least one night a week at his own place and she begins to imagine what those nights must be like for him. Is that when he allows himself to crack?

At some point during the night, Peeta rolls onto his stomach, clutching a pillow tightly to his chest.  Katniss pushes her body against his, using his back as a pillow and keeping a firm hold on his upper arm as she drifts in and out of sleep.

When Katniss’s eyes catch the clock at 6:00am, she silently moves away from Peeta’s body and slithers out of bed. She grabs her phone from the pocket of her jeans on the floor and calls into work, leaving a message for her boss stating that she is taking a personal day, vaguely alluding to a family emergency. She is sure she’ll have a strongly worded note on her desk for taking a personal day on a Monday, but she doesn’t care right now. Peeta needs her.

By the time she ends the call and locks the phone, Peeta has woken up. He has rolled over onto his back, propped against the headboard.

“What was that about?” Peeta asks, yawning.

“I called work. I’m taking a personal day,” Katniss explains, sliding back into bed and setting her phone down on Peeta’s lap. “And so are you.”

“Katniss, no…” Peeta argues, pushing her phone from his lap. “I can’t miss work.” Katniss can see his pulse pounding in his neck and sweat forming at his hairline. She places her hand on his chest and can feel his heart pounding against her palm.

“Please stop putting on an act for everyone, Peeta,” Katniss begs. “Remember when you asked me to call off work to stay here in bed with you?” Peeta nods, remembering the day just before Thanksgiving when they wasted the entire day in bed, laughing and joking, and dropping chocolate ice cream on the sheets. “Now I’m asking you to do the same. Please.”

The circumstances are entirely different. Deep down, Katniss knows that even if Peeta tries to goes to work today, he won’t last through the day. She refuses to let him wear himself down even further. Peeta sighs and looks into Katniss’s eyes.

“Okay,” Peeta resigns, picking Katniss’s phone off of the mattress and dialing a number. It takes him only a few minutes to finish, not even needing to leave a message that he wouldn’t be in.

“Do you have to find a sub?” Katniss asks.

“No, I’m not part of the faculty payroll,” Peeta shakes his head. “The kids will just have extra recess or a game day during their scheduled art time. I’m a free bird today.” He tries to smile, but it falters.

Katniss wedges herself next to Peeta. His arm comes up around her and pulls her into his side securely. Together, they both drift back to sleep, their minds free of any responsibility for the day.

There is a sliver of sun streaming through the crack in the curtain when Katniss wakes up again. It beams down against Peeta’s chest, making it easy for Katniss to see his heavy, even breathing. He is clearly in a deep sleep. Katniss begins to lazily ghost her fingers up and down his chest where the sunlight hits, gradually moving her hand lower and lower, tracing the line of hair under his bellybutton and stopping where it disappears below the waistband of his boxer briefs.

Katniss knows she shouldn’t be thinking about this right now, but she cannot get her hand to stop inching further down until the tips of her fingers are underneath the elastic. She smooths her fingers across his skin, stopping when she reaches his hip.

“Lower,” Peeta breaks in. Katniss freezes, not realizing he was awake. He shifts his hips and kicks the sheet off of his body with his legs and instantly, Katniss can see his need. She pulls her hand away from his hip and dips it further down, brushing against him with her palm. He hisses and pushes his hips up at the contact.

Katniss moves off of Peeta quickly, throwing her leg over him and straddling his hips. She leans forward, holding herself up by placing her hands on Peeta’s shoulders and places a light kiss on his lips, pulling back slowly and looking into his eyes.

Peeta thrusts himself forward and away from where he was propped against the headboard, dropping his hands on Katniss’s hips and tugging at her panties. Katniss lifts herself up and allows him to remove them. At the same time, Katniss reaches back and unclasps her bra, shrugging her shoulders and letting it fall from her frame. Peeta sighs loudly at the sight of her. He lifts up, allowing Katniss to pull his boxer briefs off his hips and down his legs just enough so she can take him in her hand.

Slowly, she guides him into her, stopping only when their hips meet each other. They cease their movements, and Katniss revels at the feeling of him filling her again after so much time without him.

“I missed you,” Katniss whispers, wrapping her hand around the back of Peeta’s neck. She pulls him closer and drops her forehead to his. Peeta’s palms lie flush against Katniss’s back, and she finally begins to move on top of him. Slowly, with purpose, making sure they feel each other.

“I love you,” Katniss moans.

Peeta exhales loudly. His mouth is open and a soft moan follows Katniss’s words. He closes his eyes and nips Katniss’s bottom lip, pushing her body against his with his hands.

“I love the look you get when you’re concentrating,” Katniss continues, keeping the slow, leisurely rhythm against Peeta’s hips. “I love the way your cheeks flush when you’re turned on. I love your passion. I love how you make me feel safe.” She begins to pepper light kisses across his mouth and cheeks. “I love that you always try to open the car door for me. I love spending nights with you on the couch.”

“Katniss…” Peeta moans, dropping his hands to the small of her back and pushing on her to move even deeper inside of her.

“I love the sounds you make that let me know you’re enjoying yourself. I love going out for pizza with you. I love seeing movies at the drive-in with you.” Katniss shudders when Peeta hits a certain spot inside of her. “I love what you do to me.”

“I can’t…” Peeta chokes out, gasping for air. He shakes his head, as though he is trying to tell Katniss that he can’t hold back any longer.

“It’s okay,” Katniss assures him. “Let go. I need to feel you.” She swirls her hips, close to being pushed over the edge herself and she bears down, feeling Peeta hit that same spot again.

With a strangled cry, Peeta pulls Katniss into him wrapping the length of his arms around her entire body until she feels as though she’s fused to him. He pants hard, moaning. Katniss concentrates on how he feels throbbing inside of her, and the noises he is making and all at once she is clenching around him, matching his moans.

“I love you,” Peeta sighs, pulling Katniss down with him on the mattress. She lies on top of him, not wanting to move. Not wanting to end this brief moment where all of their problems were locked away somewhere else. Soon, they will have to leave these four walls and face their problems head on. The thought of it overwhelms her and before she can find it in her stop herself, she begins to weep against Peeta’s chest.

What if Peeta changes his mind and refuses to get help? Where would that leave them? They cannot do this on their own.

“Katniss, what’s wrong? Peeta asks fearfully. The panic in his voice is unwavering. Katniss shakes her head, trying to regain her composure. She has to keep it together for Peeta today. She leans forward and kisses him gently, feeling a tear drop from her face.

When she pulls away, she notices that her tear landed on Peeta’s cheek and she smiles at him, wiping it away with her thumb.

“I love you,” Katniss says lightly.

“I love you, too,” Peeta replies, smiling at her, confused.

And at that moment, Katniss knows that they can do this, as long as they do it together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow me on Tumblr, mellarkloves.tumblr.com!


	13. Still With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for all of the amazing responses to chapter 10 and the outtake! I am still working through answering you guys, but I am trying to get to everyone. Please enjoy!

“Is that the last of it?” Gale asks. His eyes remain fixed on Neil’s form as he carries a box down the sidewalk toward the parking lot of Peeta’s apartment complex.

“That’s it,” Peeta confirms with a nod. “I don’t have much.” He looks across the lawn at the line of units on the other side. The corner of his mouth quirks up into a smile. “I’m going to run and say goodbye to my neighbor, I’ll be right back.”

Peeta’s neighbor Iris is a sweet older woman that has been doting on Peeta since he moved in two years ago. He has told Katniss stories of evenings before they met, when Iris would show up with dinner for no reason other than noticing that they both could use some company.

Gale leans into Katniss and nudges her with his shoulder once Peeta is out of earshot. “So, did you ever think you’d get to this point?”

“I wasn’t sure that we would,” Katniss admits, shaking her head. She stares across the lawn at Iris’s unit, watching as Peeta raps on the door and then disappears inside.

“Did everything fit in the truck?” Gale asks Neil, who is walking back up the sidewalk toward them.

“Perfectly,” Neil says with a satisfied smile. “What do you think, Katniss? Are you ready to live with my brother?”

“Sure.” Katniss shrugs, nonchalantly. “We’ve practically been living together since February, anyway.”

\--

_“Did you have a nice birthday?” Katniss asks, dragging her thumb through the blue frosting covering her slice of cake. She brings the digit up to Peeta’s lips, and he takes it in his mouth and sucks it clean._

_“I did,” Peeta confirms with a satisfied grin. Katniss looks up at him from where she lay with her head in his lap. “Having Gale and Neil over for cake was nice, too.” Peeta nods and looks at the table where his birthday gifts reside, and he smiles. “Thank you.”_

_“Oh!” Katniss yelps, sitting up abruptly. “I have one last gift for you. Wait here.” She hands her plate to Peeta and pads to the hallway, grabbing the vase that has sat virtually untouched in the middle of the pass-through to the kitchen._

_When Katniss notices Peeta eyeing her intently, she turns away from him and reaches her arm into the vase, searching for the object with the tips of her fingers._

_“Okay,” Katniss says, walking back to the couch with her hand balled into a fist. Peeta sits up straighter, indicating he is ready for his gift and Katniss opens her hand. Resting in her palm is a silver key with a simple key ring dangling from the top._

_The length of time in which he stares at the key in her hand makes her nervous. They have talked about Peeta having his own key at least three times in the last month, and he hasn’t been back to his apartment in almost three weeks. She refuses to believe she read him wrong again. Her mind is put at ease when Peeta finally pulls his head up and looks at her with the widest grin she has ever seen._

_“So I don’t have to knock anymore?” Peeta asks sarcastically, plucking the key from Katniss’s hand and examining it._

_\--_

“Yeah, but now he has nowhere to go and hide when you get mad at him for dropping an entire pizza on the couch,” Neil reminds her. Katniss laughs at the reminder.

“I had to have the couch steam cleaned to get that cheese off the cushion,” Katniss replies defensively.

“Probably better off,” Neil says. “Who knows what the hell else you two got on that couch. I’m always afraid to sit on it.”

“Like you should talk,” Katniss retorts, amused. “Gale is still my best friend, you know. He still tells me stories.”

“Touché!” Neil laughs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “We are done here!”

Peeta emerges from Iris’s unit and jogs across the lawn. He pulls his keys from his pocket and removes one, taking it to the mailbox where he pulls out an envelope and stuffs the key inside.

“I have to drop this in the mailbox at the leasing office when we leave,” Peeta explains. He hops up on the landing in front of the door to his unit and shuts the door, twisting the knob twice to ensure it’s locked. “All right,” he smiles walking toward Katniss. “Ready to go home?”

XX

Katniss and Peeta sit in a comfortable silence in his car as they drive back to the apartment. Gale and Neil follow behind in Gale’s truck, where the majority of Peeta’s belongings are tucked away. The only things not in Gale’s truck are Peeta’s painting supplies. Peeta insisted that they stay with him, and though it was a tight fit, he managed to get everything into his small car, unharmed.

“We can set up your easel in the computer room. There is that closet in there that I don’t think I’ve ever used where you can store your paints and canvases,” Katniss explains, looking over her shoulder at the containers full of paint that rest on the floor.

Katniss used to question why she rents a two bedroom apartment. The computer room she had envisioned when she was apartment hunting never quite became what she wanted it to be. Instead of the relaxing space she had pictured, the spare room remains sterile and white, with her laptop sitting on a desk that was older than Prim. With Peeta moving in, maybe they would be able to make the room into a spot that they could enjoy being in, together.

“Thank you,” Peeta says gratefully.

“For what?” Katniss asks.

“For sharing your computer room with me.”

“It’s your apartment now, too. Besides, I was hardly ever in that room. It was too quiet and too lonely,” Katniss says. In all of the time she and Peeta have been dating, she can’t remember the last time she went in there.

“Well it won’t be anymore,” Peeta replies with a smile.

At the apartment, they begin to unload boxes, gathering them in the living room for Peeta to go through and unpack later. When all of the boxes have been brought up, Peeta disappears into the spare room with his easel and paints. Katniss follows him and watches him in the doorway as he carefully, but quickly sets up his easel in the corner of the room.

“I like it there,” Katniss says from the doorway. “We should paint this room.”

“I was going to suggest the same thing,” Peeta says, turning around. “White isn’t very inspiring.”

“We should go to Home Depot tomorrow and pick up some samples,” Katniss suggests.

“We should,” Peeta agrees. “But first let’s go see about those boxes in the living room.”

Katniss and Peeta reappear a short time later and stand in front of the pile of boxes at their feet, evaluating the task ahead of them.

“What time is your session with the therapist today?” Katniss asks, turning to Peeta.

\--

Peeta began one on one therapy with Dr. Aurelius the last week in January, after a long phone conversation that ended with Peeta thanking the doctor at least a dozen times. They had searched for hours for a therapist, reading testimonials on the Internet and researching each therapist’s credentials when they came across Dr. Aurelius. When Peeta called him the next day to schedule an appointment, Katniss noticed the look of defeat cross his feature immediately.

While he continued to listen to Dr. Aurelius talk, Peeta mouthed the words, _“No appointments for a month.”_ As they continued to talk, Dr. Aurelius must have found a way to juggle his schedule enough to get Peeta in to see him just two days later.

After seeing Dr. Aurelius for two weeks, he suggested that both Katniss and Peeta attend couples counseling with his colleague, Dr. Plutarch. Katniss was reluctant at first. She wondered how she had gotten roped into this. But after a long discussion with Peeta, she decided to go for it. If it was part of Peeta’s healing, she was willing to give it a try -- for him.

In just three weeks, the twice-weekly sessions with Dr. Plutarch proved vital to Katniss and Peeta’s relationship. Katniss learned more about herself than she ever thought possible. Dr. Plutarch pointed out her self-esteem issues, along with a fear of emotional intimacy and said it was most likely brought on by additional issues with control and not wanting to let her heart make her decisions the way her mother’s did. In the next breath, Dr. Plutarch commended Katniss for agreeing to do this with Peeta, and he encouraged her to stick with it. She decided she was going to -- for both of them.

Katniss and Peeta have made amazing progress since then. They’ve learned how to be open with each other, taking time out of each evening to catch up with each other and talk through any obstacles they may have run into through the day. Just that alone has helped, and coupled with Peeta’s individual therapy, it was almost like meeting a new person. They’ve even learned how to fight in therapy. Now, they have arguments that do not resemble anything like the explosion in January. They are both learning to address issues as they happen instead of letting them stew until things get out of control.

There have been good days, and there have been bad days. There are some days when Peeta would come back from a session so beat down and so exhausted that he couldn’t do anything but listen to Katniss as she sang and ran her fingers through his hair. But so far, they have always bounced back from it. That sense of hopelessness that she felt that night in January has never returned. Katniss could not thank Dr. Aurelius and Dr. Plutarch enough for all of their help so far.

\--

“In about an hour, so I should probably get going,” Peeta says, glancing down at his watch. He rubs Katniss’s shoulder gently and places a tender kiss on her lips.

“Remember, we’re having Delly and Thom over for dinner on Tuesday, so don’t forget that when you schedule next week’s sessions,” Katniss reminds him. She cringes at how much she sounds like her mother. Quickly, she tries to think of something to counter her last statement, but can only manage to say, “Um…”

Peeta chuckles at her. “I won’t.” He rubs her shoulder again before turning to Neil and Gale. “Sorry I can’t stay and have lunch with you guys.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Neil says, putting his hand out for Peeta to shake and then pulling him into a hug. “We’re proud of you.”

“Congratulations on the big move,” Gale adds, shaking Peeta’s hand.

Peeta grabs his keys off the table next to the front door and heads out, glancing back once at Katniss before closing the door.

“Are things still going well?” Gale asks, concern heavy in his words.

“They are,” Katniss confirms with a nod. “Very well.”

And that isn’t a lie. Things are going well for Peeta. He is learning not to blame himself for feeling the way he does about things, as well as learning how to find closure by learning from his past but recognizing that each relationship is different.

He has gotten to a place where he can accept responsibility for his actions but also understand that it isn’t the same thing as blaming himself.

“He seems a lot more… relaxed,” Gale notes.

“I’m pretty excited for you, Katniss,” Neil admits. “You’re finally meeting the Peeta that I’ve always known.”

The hardest thing for Peeta so far has been forgiving his exes, and forgiving himself. There are still days where he has to remind himself that forgiving them is not the same thing as condoning what they did to him.

“What do you guys want for lunch?” Katniss asks.

“Pizza,” Gale says.

“Chinese,” Neil counters.

“Really, guys?” Katniss says exasperatedly. “I don’t care what we get, so you two can fight about it and figure it out. But remember, we have to order something for Peeta to eat when he gets home.”

 _Home._ Katniss likes the sound of that.

XX

A couple of hours later, Katniss sits cross-legged on the couch watching TV when she hears Peeta’s keys jiggling the lock. She gives him a hopeful smile when he walks in the door. Peeta looks drained and drags his feet as he walks into the living room, throwing himself down on the couch. He sighs loudly, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

“Was it a bad one today?” Katniss asks, scooting closer to Peeta. She rests her chin on his shoulder and combs her fingers through his hair, watching his face as he nods and closes his eyes.

“We started talking about my mother,” Peeta replies, letting his head fall back to rest on the couch.

“Sit on the floor,” Katniss urges. She pulls her head from his shoulder and allows him to move down the couch. Peeta knows what this means. This is what they do after particularly difficult sessions, whether it’s Peeta’s solo sessions or their sessions together. “Do you want to talk, or do you want me to sing?”

“Talk,” Peeta says. He emits a satisfied groaned as Katniss begins to massage his shoulders. Katniss can feel the tension there. “I’m going to start learning that what she thinks of me isn’t who I am, and that her distorted opinion of me doesn’t mean anything as long as I can start to see how destructive it is.”

“Do you think you can do that?” Katniss asks gently.

“Maybe one day. Dr. Aurelius said that it’s not my job to make her happy and I shouldn’t beat myself up for never being able to,” Peeta explains, rolling his head forward when Katniss moves her hands to the back of his neck. “He also said that it sounds like that burden has fallen on Spencer.”

“What does that mean?”

“Dr. Aurelius thinks that my mother is putting pressure on Spencer by having unrealistic expectations of his duties as a son, and I should consider that when dealing with him,” Peeta says.

“So he was telling you to hate Spencer a little less?” Katniss scoffs.

Peeta chuckles. “I think that’s what he was trying to say.”

“That still doesn’t give him the right to be a self-righteous prick,” Katniss reminds him.

“I know. I guess I’ll learn how to deal with that, too,” Peeta shrugs.

“Did Dr. Aurelius give you any homework?”

“Yeah…” Peeta hesitates slightly. “He wants me to visit her.”

“What for?” Katniss asks incredulously.

“To confront her, set boundaries, and make it clear that what she does is disrespectful and won’t be tolerated anymore,” Peeta explains, reciting the words as though he has been going through them over and over since leaving Dr. Aurelius’s office.

“Wow…” Katniss doesn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah… but he also said that it’s alright for me to distance myself from her and Spencer if I felt that was the best thing to do,” Peeta says. He almost sounds excited by the prospect of shutting his mother and oldest brother out -- too excited.

“You should talk to her first and then decide if that’s something you should do,” Katniss says.

“I will,” Peeta assures her.

“When were you planning to do this?”

“Well,” Peeta begins, rubbing his palms on his jeans. “I don’t have to do it by the next session, but Dr. Aurelius would like me to do it within the next two weeks. So, I was thinking next weekend.”

“Do you think you’ll be ready then?” Katniss asks.

“I won’t know if I don’t at least try,” Peeta replies, determined. “Will you come with me? I was thinking maybe Saturday after your breakfast with Gale.”

Katniss can’t help but feel nervous. What if this makes things worse? Peeta has made so much progress over the last few months. She has been dreading this day -- the day that he would have to face his issues with his mother. Bev is so seemingly uncaring and unfeeling that Katniss fears she will try to do anything in her power to make Peeta feel weak again.

But at the same time, it was these same worries that makes Katniss want to be there even more. It is Peeta’s job to confront her, but he is going to need all of the support Katniss gives him at home. She is going to be there for him, no matter what.

“Sure,” Katniss says, squeezing Peeta’s shoulders. “I’ll be there.”

XX

“Your dress will probably be ready any day now, so expect a call from the dress shop,” Gale says, looking down at his notebook while tapping at the page with his pen.

“Check.”

“And Peeta didn’t forget about getting fitted for his tuxedo in the morning, did he?”

“Nope.”

“Good. I’ve got everything marked on this book. His tux is the blue marker. Mine and Neil’s tuxes are the green marker if you wanted to see what they look like. The address is on the back of the booklet if he isn’t sure where it is.” Gale doesn’t even look up from the notebook as he slides the catalog across the table to Katniss.

“Check.”

“Ten AM, sharp. I will text him tonight to remind him again.”

“Check,” Katniss says, unable to hold her laugh in any longer.

“What?” Gale says, finally looking up from his notebook.

“Is this the part where I throw a drink at you and call you a Bridezilla? Because I don’t even know what’s going on with you.” She’s not angry, just amused at his organization over this wedding. Katniss isn’t going to tell Gale, but she’s glad Neil has to work today. Otherwise, it would be double the nagging.

“You try planning a wedding, and we’ll see how you act,” Gale grumbles.

Katniss’s phone goes off. The sound of the text alert tells her without looking that it’s Peeta. She glances at the screen quickly to see a single word, _“Nervous.”_ She glances up at Gale whose face is back in his notebook.

Quickly, Katniss types her reply, _“It’ll be okay, I won’t leave your side.”_

In a matter of seconds, Peeta sends back a smile and then follows it with another text _“I missed you waking up with me this morning, but I liked the letter you left on the bedside table.”_

During their first session with Dr. Plutarch, Katniss had a resolve to be with Peeta every step of the way until he reminded Katniss how unrealistic that idea was. Instead, they developed a technique that had them list new ways to keep in touch with each other that went beyond text messages, e-mails, or even phone calls.

One week, after a rough time in therapy, Peeta came up with writing letters. He wrote Katniss a letter and sent it to her in the mail with a list of all of the things he was feeling but wasn’t quite able to say out loud yet. Since then, Katniss and Peeta have taken to leaving each other letters around the apartment. Sometimes they leave them on the bedside tables on their sides of the bed, sometimes they leave them in the bathroom, or even in each other’s lunches for a pick me up in the middle of the day.

 _“I was afraid you wouldn’t see it,”_ Katniss texts back. She sets her phone down on the table and notices Gale is looking at her, smirking.

“Peeta?” He asks in a sing-song voice. Katniss nods. “I can tell by that grin on your face.”

Katniss’s phone chimes again, and she can’t help but break into a full smile at his Peeta’s message.

_“You picked the perfect day to write it. I needed that.”_

Katniss sends one last message before getting back to Gale, _“I’ll see you in an hour <3.”_

With her phone back in her pocket, Katniss looks at Gale. She takes a sip of her coffee and flips through the catalog in front of her quickly. She knows Gale has something to say, it was just a matter of waiting for him to say it.

“You know,” Gale says finally. “It has been almost a year since the night we met Neil and Peeta.”

“I was just thinking about that the other day,” Katniss replies.

“It has been an interesting year,” Gale says, almost over-come.

“It has been the fastest year,” Katniss adds. “I can’t believe you’re getting married in less than two months.”

“Either can I sometimes,” Gale admits.

“Do you ever have second thoughts?” Katniss asks seriously. Gale stares at her intently. Katniss isn’t sure she has ever seen him look so serious.

“Not once,” Gale answers.

“When did you know?” Katniss questions, pushing her scrambled eggs around in her plate. “When did you know that you wanted to marry Neil?”

“Not long after we moved in together,” Gale begins. “I woke up one morning and looked at him, and something just felt right. I knew I could wake up next to him every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it.” He pauses, as though he is waiting for Katniss to make fun of him or pretend to gag, but she never does, so he continues. “Then one night we were watching some TV before bed and he said to me, _‘When we’re married,’_ and that’s when I really knew.”

“It’s going to be kind of strange with you being married to Neil,” Katniss says, almost sadly.

“Why?”

“You and Neil will be husbands, you and Peeta will be brothers in law, and I’m just Katniss.” She shrugs and looks down into her food sheepishly.

“Well, ‘Just Katniss’, you’re part of this little family we’ve created whether you think you are or not,” Gale lectures, pointing his finger at Katniss accusingly.

“Thanks for the reassurance,” Katniss laughs. “Does it ever scare you?”

“Does _what_ ever scare me?” Gale asks, confused.

“How much you love him,” Katniss says. “Does it ever scare you?”

“Are we talking about me and Neil, or you and Peeta right now?” Gale asks with a smile. Katniss averts her eyes from Gale’s and he laughs when he realizes he caught her. “Why does it scare you?”

“Sometimes it just feels so overwhelming,” Katniss admits.

“What’s wrong with that?” Gale asks.

“I am starting to understand my mother,” Katniss says, staring down at her plate.

“But you’re not her,” Gale reminds her. “Have you mentioned this in therapy?”

“Briefly,” Katniss mumbles.  

“So,” Gale says. Katniss knows he is trying to think of something to change the subject. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” He drags his last bite of pancake through the pool of syrup in his plate.

“We’re going to talk to your future mother in law,” Katniss smiles brazenly.

Gale cringes. “Part of the process?” he asks.

Katniss nods, but reveals nothing more. Even though Gale and Neil are aware of the therapy, it isn’t something that they discuss the details of. They are aware of their basic progress, and how she and Peeta are dealing with things, but the details are only between Katniss, Peeta, and the therapists.

“Has Neil talked to her or seen her since Christmas?” Katniss asks.

“Nope,” Gale replies, shaking his head. “He’ll have to see her at the wedding, but I don’t think he is planning to until then. If she even comes.”

Katniss’s eyes soften as she looks at Gale. He may act like Bev’s lack of acceptance doesn’t bother him, but Katniss can tell it does. She wishes she knew what to say to him. Instead, she reaches out for his hand across the table and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“I should probably get going,” Katniss says, grabbing her check from the table. “I have a very important date with a shrew.”

Gale laughs before bringing his coffee cup up and saluting Katniss with it. “I wish you luck.”

XX

Katniss sits in the passenger seat of Peeta’s car, staring out the window as the familiar sites near her apartment pass her by when she notices that Peeta is taking a different route than she remembers him taking on Thanksgiving.

“Where are we going?” Katniss asks.

“My mom’s at the bakery today,” Peeta reveals. “I’m taking you there.”

“Oh.” Katniss has never been to the bakery before. In a way, she feels excited despite the reason that they’re going. She wants to see where Peeta spent most of his time as a child. It is a part of his life she knows almost nothing about.

A short time later, they pull up to a small brick building on a quaint street. Katniss remembers coming down here with her parents as a child to get ice cream at the small ice cream parlor across the street.  It was always a special treat coming out here to get ice cream, but Katniss’s father insists that it is the best ice cream in the area and is worth the longer drive to the other side of town. Even though they never visited the bakery, Katniss can’t help but wonder how many times was she here at the same time Peeta was. The thought of being so close to him and having no idea almost makes her light-headed.

“It’s usually pretty dead at this time of the day on Saturdays,” Peeta explains, turning off the car. “Perfect time to have a discussion.”

They walk into the bakery and Katniss looks around quickly. It’s just as quaint as the street it’s on. Immediately, she spots the bowl of mints on the counter and smiles that a part of Peeta’s childhood still remains there.

To Katniss’s right is a door with the words “Employees Only” written on it, and she assumes it is the storage closet Peeta told her that he and Neil used to hide in when their mother flew off the handle. Everything from walls, countertops, floors, and tables where patrons could sit and eat practically glowed, pristine and white – it’s just as misleading as the Mellark’s beautiful home. 

Spencer rounds the corner carrying a large sack of flour on his shoulder. He smiles, but it quickly falters. “Oh, I thought you were customers,” he says, disappointed.

“Mom is here today, right?” Peeta asks shortly.

“Yeah... why?” Spencer asks, eyeing Peeta and Katniss suspiciously.

“Because I need to talk to her, okay?” Peeta spits.

“Fine,” Spencer replies. “I’ll get her.” He drops the sack of flour on a large table behind the counter and disappears into the back of the bakery. 

Peeta directs Katniss to a table and tells her to sit down, stating that he has something for her before dipping behind the counter and out of sight. He returns a minute later and sets a plate down in front of Katniss.

“Remember at the diner when I told you that our apple pie was better than theirs?” Katniss nods, looking down at the fresh slice of apple pie. Peeta waves his hand over the plate. “Now you can taste it for yourself.”

Katniss takes a bite and is in love immediately. It is hands down the best apple pie she has ever eaten. “Why have you been keeping this from me for so long?” she asks, floored.

Peeta shrugs. “It’s good, isn’t it?”

“Delicious.”

Peeta sits down across from Katniss and watches as she finishes the entire piece in what is probably record time. Katniss gets up from her seat and dips her hand into the bowl of mints, fishing out two. She pops one in her mouth as she has seen Peeta do plenty of times, then dangles the other in front of Peeta.

“No thanks, I’m trying to quit,” Peeta says sarcastically.

“Just for today,” Katniss says, unwrapping the mint and placing it in his mouth. She rubs her thumb over his bottom lip after he licks it and lean over to kiss him, tasting the mint from both of their mouths. “You can do this, okay?” Katniss says, kissing him again.

The sound of Bev clearing her throat behind Peeta and Katniss stops them. Katniss turns around with her head down and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Hey, mom,” Peeta says contemptuously. Bev looks at them with the same suspicious glare Spencer gave them. “Can you sit down? I want to talk to you about something.”

Without breaking her suspicious stare, Bev hesitantly moves to the seat Katniss was just sitting in. At last, she moves her eyes from Peeta and Katniss, down to the empty plate before her.

“I hope you’re going to pay for that,” Bev says, looking at Katniss menacingly. Katniss glares in return.

“She’s family, she doesn’t have to pay for it,” Peeta speaks up.

Bev raises her eyebrows at Peeta, as though she is challenging him. Peeta takes a deep breath in response, and Katniss takes this as a sign that he is about to begin talking. She moves closer to his side and takes his hand in hers, making sure Bev sees it.

“I am sure you’ve heard that I moved in with Katniss...” He stops talking as he waits for a reaction from Bev, and all at once, Katniss understands how he has decided to approach this.

Bev nods, still studying both Katniss and Peeta. She lets her eyes linger on their hands a little longer than necessary. “Couldn’t afford to live alone anymore?” Bev sneers. “You need her to support you, now?”

Peeta leans back a little in his chair, and Katniss notices the small grin playing on his lips that she can only describe as satisfied. His plan is working.

“No, nothing like that,” Peeta begins. “Not that it’s any of your business, but that does lead me to my next point.” Katniss grips Peeta’s hand tightly, almost squeezing the life out of it. He isn’t faltering. He isn’t yelling out of sheer frustration. He is finally telling her the way that it is. “I don’t care what you think of me or my relationship with Katniss, because this is how I’ve decided to live my life.” Bev goes to speak but Peeta puts his hand up, silencing her. “I’m not finished.” Bev glares, but allows him to continue. “I know you don’t care, and I’m not asking you to, but I am asking you to realize that the way you behave in front of my girlfriend and in front of Neil’s fiancé is not only embarrassing, but disrespectful to everyone in the room, and I’m not going to tolerate it anymore.”

Bev looks like she wants to laugh at his final sentences but Katniss can tell she is doing her best to keep her face as indifferent as possible. When Peeta doesn’t say anything else, Bev finally leans forward and lets out the laugh she has clearly been holding in. Katniss knows that this is the moment she has been dreading.

“I thought you were coming here to tell me she was pregnant or something,” Bev chuckles, more at herself than anything.

Without missing a beat, Peeta leans forward in his seat, his shoulders squared with a new found confidence in his body language. “And what if she _is_ pregnant?”

Katniss can tell immediately that Bev was not expecting that answer when the color drains from her face as her eyes lock onto Katniss’s. Katniss matches her stare and the corner of her mouth turns up into a half smirk.

“Like I said,” Peeta says coolly. “This is the life I’ve chosen to live, and you can either respect that, or you don’t have to see your grandchild. But something tells me Dad is going to have a problem with that.” He lets go of Katniss’s hand and reaches across the table to grab the empty plate in front of Bev. He stands up and kisses Katniss on the cheek. “I’ll be right back,” he says, before disappearing behind the counter once more.

Katniss stands next to the table, rooted to the spot while Bev scans Katniss’s body for some sign of pregnancy. Katniss moves her hand up to her stomach slowly and smiles at Bev as she runs her hand over the front of her shirt. She can see Bev chewing on the inside of her lip as though she is trying to stop herself from saying something, but refuses to.

“Ready to go?” Peeta asks when he returns. He looks at his watch. “We still have an hour before Prim meets us at the park.”

“We can go early,” Katniss replies with her hand still over her stomach. Peeta notices this and grins, taking her hand.

“I’ll see you at the wedding, Mom,” Peeta says with a slight wave. Without another word, Peeta and Katniss begin to walk toward the front door. Just as Peeta opens the door, he looks over his shoulder at Bev one more time. “By the way,” he says. “Katniss isn’t pregnant.”

XX

“I can’t believe you told your mother I was pregnant,” Katniss says, shaking her head. She smiles, her gaze set on the view of the shining ripples of water on the river from where she and Peeta sit on the bench in the park. The trees above them are fully flowered, the same way they were the night they came here almost a year ago. The ground is littered with small pink petals that have blown off the trees in the strong breeze that is blowing today -- each time the wind picks up, the petals dance across the ground.

“I never told her you were. I just let her make the assumption,” Peeta says defensively. He is leaning forward, staring out into the river as well. “Thank you for going along with it.”

“I’m not exactly sure that’s what Dr. Aurelius had in mind for your homework, though,” Katniss points out.

“I know,” Peeta sighs. “But I also know this isn’t the last of it. I still have a long way to go with her, but I think I made an impression, even if it wasn’t exactly what Dr. Aurelius was hoping for.”

“Did you see her face?” Katniss says, unable to hold back the laughter any longer. “I thought her skin was melting off.”

“That alone was worth going there today,” Peeta says, chuckling in response. “I know I have to do a better job, though. I kind of fucked up today.”

“You didn’t,” Katniss says, shaking her head. “You told her what you needed to.” Peeta raises his eyebrows disbelievingly. “Okay, so maybe you embellished a little at the end, but I don’t think it’s going to be a conversation she’s going to forget anytime soon. Do you?”

“Probably not,” Peeta agrees. “She’ll probably have nightmares about the day we really do have pregnancy news.” He looks away and back to the river, clenching his jaw as though he is mentally scolding himself for saying that out loud.

They have never talked about starting a family. It hasn’t even come up in therapy, yet. Katniss lets Peeta’s words wash over her and tries to think of how Dr. Plutarch would interpret Peeta’s comment. _Focus on what that actually means, Katniss._ She can hear him in her head reminding her to try to understand what an assumption like this really meant.

“I think she’ll be able to rest easy on that one for a while,” Katniss replies easily.

The soft smile that paints Peeta’s face tells her that he understands what she means. Like Neil’s comment to Gale that indicated he was ready for the next step, Katniss was telling Peeta that she thought of their future, but they were nowhere near being ready for a step like that anytime soon.

A few months ago, Peeta probably would have interpreted Katniss’s comment in an entirely different way. To see him give her an understanding nod to go with his smile showed his progress.

“Hey, is that Prim?” Peeta asks abruptly, pointing beyond Katniss’s shoulder. Katniss turns her body and sees Prim walking toward them with her arms full of things Katniss can’t quite make out in the distance between them.

“I’ll go help her,” Katniss says, hopping off the bench and jogging toward her sister. Prim smiles when she notices Katniss coming her way.

“Hey,” Prim says breathlessly. Katniss pulls a drink tray from Prim’s hand and her jacket from her arm. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making time for us little people,” Katniss jokes. “I know you’re only in town until morning, but I couldn’t let you visit and not see you.”

“I wanted to see you guys, too,” Prim says, hoisting her tote bag higher on her shoulder. “By the way, I brought you those pamphlets you asked me for.” She reaches into the tote and pulls them out, handing them to Katniss who shoves them into her back pocket quickly and pulls her shirt down over them.

“You’re the best,” Katniss grins. “And you brought Starbucks.” Peeta waves at them as they get closer, causing Prim to snicker. “What?”

“I don’t know,” Prim answers, shaking her head. “On anyone else, an orange Hawaiian shirt would just be wrong, but for some reason it works for him. It’s cute.”

“Are you moving into the park, Prim?” Peeta asks, pointing at Prim’s bulging tote bag when they finally make it back to the bench.

“I just might,” Prim replies sarcastically.

“Prim brought Starbucks,” Katniss says, lifting up the tray.

“Two coffees and a tea,” Prim recites. “Coffee makes you gag, right, Peeta?”

“Something like that,” Peeta laughs.

“I may not be around much, but I know things.” Katniss can’t believe Prim remembers that. She only told Prim about that one time, almost a year ago, after her brunch date with Peeta. Prim takes a seat between Katniss and Peeta on the bench and stares out into the river.

“How’s school going?” Katniss asks, breaking the silence.

“Not bad. Last week of classes starts tomorrow, and then finals after that,” Prim explains.

“When do you graduate?” Peeta asks.

“If I stay on track through this next year, then I should be done next spring,” Prim says. She takes a sip of her coffee before continuing. “But let’s not talk about me right now, I want to hear about how you two. How are you enjoying living together?”

“Well, it has only been a week,” Katniss reminds her.

“But so far, so good,” Peeta adds.

Prim nods and smiles just enough that Katniss notices the dimple on her left cheek. “I’m really happy for you guys.”

They fill up the next hour with small talk ranging from Prim’s summer plans, to what movies they are looking forward to seeing. When the conversation dies and the drinks are drained, Katniss is about ready to call it a day, until Peeta speaks up.

“Are you excited for Gale’s wedding, Prim?” Peeta asks. Katniss had completely forgotten Prim and her parents are invited.

“Oh, I can’t wait,” Prim says, smiling widely.

“It should be fun as long as Gale doesn’t drive himself crazy before the day gets here,” Katniss explains.

“Neil isn’t much better,” Peeta adds. “He has called four times just today to remind me about my tux fitting in the morning.”

“That’s right!” Prim says, the realization dawning on her. “I’ll get to meet your brother. Sometimes I forget that Gale is marrying him. Are there any other eligible bachelors on your side of the family, Peeta?”

“Prim!” Katniss admonishes.

Peeta laughs and shakes his head. “Not really, sorry!”

“Oh, it’s fine. I just thought I’d try,” Prim replies glumly.

“Doesn’t Gale have a brother about your age?” Peeta asks. His eyes widen at the look Katniss gives him.

“You need to focus on school right now, Prim,” Katniss lectures.

Prim scoffs. “You sound like Mom.”

“Maybe because she’s right,” Katniss says.

In the silence that follows, Katniss stares back out toward the river, noticing the people who are walking by. Some are on bikes, some are walking dogs. There couples with strollers and even a few people on rollerblades passing by. The park is just as she remembers it being her entire life. It’s like nothing has changed, even though everything has.

“So,” Prim says teasingly, breaking the silence. “When are you two getting married?”


	14. The First Knot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As many of you are aware, Speed Date will be ending soon. Including this chapter, there are 4 chapters left. I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has read this story, added it to your bookmarks, and taken the time to review. Even though this is a bit premature, I still wanted to take a moment to tell you all how much I appreciate the support this story has gotten, and hope you'll all join me when I begin to post my next AU story, "The Only Lake is Erie", once Speed Date wraps up. 
> 
> Thanks once again, please enjoy!

_“When are you two getting married?” Prim asks with a sly grin on her face._

_Katniss’s breath hitches in her throat at the question.  She whips her head around to look at Prim. Katniss’s eyes are wide, but Prim doesn’t seem to think anything is wrong with her question as she continues to smile and wait for an answer._

 

_Katniss doesn’t have an answer._

 

_It’s the sound of Peeta’s eventual laughter that relaxes Katniss’s muscles enough to allow her to turn her body in his direction. Prim has also turned her head to look at him, almost buzzing as she waits for him to answer._

 

_"I think one wedding is all we can handle right now,” Peeta replies demurely. His eyes are soft and still trained on the river as he speaks, while the corner of his mouth is turned up into a smirk. There is nothing in his expression that seems uncomfortable, and his answer is just vague enough to both answer and not answer Prim’s question._

 

_Prim rests against the back of the bench and drains her coffee. “Fair enough.”_

 

XX

 

Gale paces back and forth across the length of the small room inside the wedding venue. His black tuxedo jacket is slung over the arm of the chair Katniss is sitting in as she watches her best friend move nervously across the carpet. His white dress shirt is tucked neatly into his black tuxedo pants, and his blue cummberbund is wrapped snugly around his waist. His matching blue bowtie, however, remains undone and hangs around his neck.

 

Peeta and Neil are sanctioned off in a similar room down the hall where Peeta is probably helping Neil calm his nerves and making sure his tuxedo, which is identical to Gale’s, looks perfect, too.

 

“Calm down a little,” Katniss urges. “The day you’ve been planning for as long as I’ve known you is here. What’s there to be nervous about?”

 

"I’m still allowed to be nervous, you know. Let’s see how calm you are when _you_ get married,” Gale chides, narrowing his eyes at Katniss.

 

“Who even said I wanted to get married?” Katniss retorts. She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at Gale, daring him to respond.

 

Gale bursts into laughter, shaking his head. “Nobody, Katniss,” he says dubiously. He turns and walks away without another word, leaving Katniss to sit in the chair trying to think of something to say back to him.

 

“Should I put some mousse or hairspray in my hair or something? It looks like shit,” Gale says, stepping over to the full length mirror in the center of the room.

 

Katniss hoists herself out of the chair and moves to Gale, combing through his hair with her fingers when she reaches him. She moves a few strands around with the tips of her fingers and then takes a step back, admiring her work.

 

“It’s fine,” Katniss says, nodding proudly. “You look like Gale Hawthorne. That’s who Neil wants to marry. Nobody else.”

 

“Thanks for being my best woman,” Gale says gratefully. He ties his bowtie and slips into his jacket when Katniss hands it to him.

 

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Katniss smiles, straightening Gale’s bowtie and pulling a stray thread from the breast of his jacket.

 

“Have you seen Peeta in his tux, yet?” Gale asks.

 

“No. He wouldn’t model it for me after he picked it up the other day, no matter how many times I asked him to,” Katniss grouses.

 

“That’s a shame. He looked good in it during the fitting,” Gale teases. “I think you’ll like it. I _know_ he’ll like how you look in your dress.”

 

Gale picked Katniss’s dress. Blue chiffon to match Peeta’s tie and vest. The knee length, strapless dress is light and comfortable with a sweetheart neckline and criss-cross ruching to shape the bodice. Despite the details, there is a simplicity to the design, just the way Katniss likes it.

 

There is a soft knock on the door before it opens slightly and Portia, the wedding’s officiant, peeks her head in.

 

“The guests are all seated, are you ready to begin?” Portia asks, smiling politely.

 

Katniss looks to Gale expectantly, knowing that nobody but him can give Portia the proper answer.

 

Gale takes a deep breath and looks back to Portia, giving her a nod. “Yes,” he says.

 

“Great. As we discussed during rehearsal, you and Neil will meet at the end of the runner and walk up together,” Portia explains. “Katniss, you and Peeta will do the same after Neil and Gale reach the center row of chairs.” Katniss gives a firm nod, which is returned by Portia. “They’re waiting.”

 

Gale takes another deep breath in and lets it out shakily. “You and Peeta should just get married with us,” he says apprehensively. “I’d be less nervous if you were doing this with me.”

 

“Don’t be silly, this is your day and I _am_ doing this with you, I’ll be right next to you,” Katniss assuages. “Come on, you heard Portia -- the boys are waiting.”

 

XX

 

Gale and Katniss leave the confines of the small room they spent the last several hours in and make their way outside where the ceremony will be taking place. Gale and Katniss have not seen Neil or Peeta since they arrived this morning, not because of tradition, but because Gale and Neil decided they wanted one last morning with their best friends before they were married.

 

Neil and Peeta’s backs are to Gale and Katniss as they approach, and they appear to be talking quietly. Gale and Katniss approach slowly, and Gale clears his throat once they’re in earshot.

 

“Ready?” Gale asks.

 

Neil and Peeta turn around and smile when their eyes land on Gale and Katniss. Their resemblance is striking. The same smile, the same crinkle in the corners of their equally blue eyes. It’s as if Katniss is just remembering that they are brothers.

 

Peeta is dressed in a black tuxedo and white dress shirt identical to the ones Neil and Gale are wearing, but instead of a cummberbund and bowtie, Peeta is wearing a blue vest and tie. Katniss glances to Gale, expecting him to still be waiting for her to help him gain his nerve again, but he isn’t.

 

He is with Neil and they are standing face to face, gazing at eachother with their hands clasped together tightly. They look at each other as if nobody else on the planet exists right now.

 

Katniss looks to Peeta and catches his eye. His smile fills her with a sense of calm and peace, and she realizes that the shift that has been happening between the four of them throughout the last year is beginning to come to fruition. And just like that, Katniss knows her job is truly done.

The four get into place. Neil and Gale stand side by side, not touching. They will walk down the runner together, but will not link arms until they are married. It is their way of symbolizing the link they are creating by marrying each other.

 

Peeta offers his arm to Katniss and smiles at her while raising his eyebrows, encouraging her to take it. Gale and Neil left it up to them to decide if they would link arms as they walked. Katniss slips her arm through Peeta’s and waits.

 

At last, the music begins to play and Gale and Neil descend the white runner that is rolled out between the rows of chairs that have been set up underneath a large oak tree to block the guests from the late June sun. The end of each row of chairs is blocked by green, leafy foliage and small, blue flowers. The white gazebo that marks the end of the runner has an archway in front of it, fashioned from the same foliage and flowers. It is here that Gale and Neil will stand during the ceremony. Portia stands under the archway, watching as Gale and Neil make their way toward her.

 

Katniss scans the area and notices Hazelle Hawthorne and her husband in the front row of chairs on the left side, and Peeta’s parents are in the first row of chairs on the left side. She sees Spencer sitting in the very last seat in the very last row on the left side, holding Naomi’s hand. Naomi is standing, fanning herself with the wedding program that she is clutching with her free hand. Her stomach is large and she looks ready to pop. Naomi looks miserable, and Katniss wonders if standing is the only comfortable option for her right now.

 

And then Katniss notices her family. Prim, her mother, and her father. They’re four rows behind Gale’s family. Prim is turned around in her seat, and though everyone is looking at Gale and Neil right now, Prim is looking at Katniss and Peeta and smirking. Katniss looks away, setting her eyes straight ahead on Gale and Neil’s backs just as they hit the center row of chairs -- this is Katniss and Peeta’s cue to start walking.

 

“Ready?” Peeta whispers.

 

“Yep,” Katniss replies, keeping her eyes forward.

 

They walk leisurely, arm in arm. Katniss has to keep reminding herself to smile -- people are watching. She looks to the left and catches Prim’s eye again. She is beaming at Katniss, and Katniss gives Prim a look of warning. She smirks ever so slightly when the smile drops from Prim’s face. Katniss refuses to look to her right. She doesn’t want to see Bev’s face right now. Not when she is supposed to be happy.

 

Katniss can hear the shutter of the photographer’s camera as she and Peeta reach the end of the runner. Katniss moves to the left and stands by Gale, and Peeta moves to the right by Neil. She has a clear view of Peeta from where they stand, and they smile at each other as Portia begins the ceremony.

 

Portia thanks everyone for joining them as Gale and Neil are wed, and explains that she will not hold the ceremony up by carrying on.

 

“Today we celebrate Gale and Neil. Who they are as individuals, as a couple, and who they will become as husbands,” Portia says. “The first time I met Gale and Neil, they amused me. Rather than meeting with me in a quiet place like their home, my office, or even a small restaurant, do you know what they did? They took me golfing.” The guests laugh lightly at the story, and Portia continues. “Even though I’d never golfed a day in my life, I went with them and had quite a lot of fun. The day I spent with them told me that these two are special.”

 

Portia continues the ceremony by asking Gale and Neil what brought them here and why they love each other, and then tells them that they should always remember those reasons, even when times are tough.

 

“Remind yourself every day, because a marriage takes more than just love,” Portia finishes. She remains silent for a moment before looking to Peeta and then to Katniss. “Peeta and Katniss, can you please pass the rings forward?”

 

Peeta reaches into his pocket and pulls out Gale’s ring while Katniss goes to her wrist. Since she doesn’t have pockets to keep the ring, Gale came up with putting Neil’s ring in a small pouch and then tying it to Katniss’s wrist to keep it safe.

 

Once the rings are passed forward, the vows begin.

 

Gale’s back is to Katniss as he and Neil exchange rings and recite their vows. Katniss takes this moment to watch Peeta. He is watching Gale and Neil intently, glancing between their hands and faces. His hands are clasped together in front of him, and he grins happily once Gale has finished his vows and placed the ring on Neil’s finger.

 

Peeta looks up and catches Katniss staring at him. With the grin still plastered on his face, he takes a deep breath and maintains eye contact with Katniss as Neil begins to recite his vows to Gale. There is something in his eyes that mesmerizes Katniss. It’s a mixture of love, desire, and even longing. It causes Katniss’s stomach to feel like it has just dropped into her toes. Guilt rises up when Katniss realizes that she hasn’t heard a word Neil has been saying. She has been too focused on Peeta and the look he is giving her. Katniss looks back at Peeta and wonders if her eyes show the same love, desire, and longing that his do. Is that what is causing Peeta to stare unwaveringly, despite the fact that Neil has finished his vows and Portia is closing the ceremony by announcing Gale and Neil as husbands?

 

It’s not until Gale and Neil move in to kiss each other, signifying the end of the ceremony and the beginning of their marriage that Katniss and Peeta tear their eyes away from each other. Katniss looks around, noticing that all of the guests are now on their feet, applauding the newly married couple.

 

Gale and Neil link their arms together and begin to make their way back up the white runner happily. Katniss isn’t sure she has ever seen Gale look so relieved in her life. Once Katniss is certain that the focus is only on Gale and Neil, she moves to Peeta quickly, linking her arm around his. The electricity between them in palpable. She feels vibrant and alive in a way she never has before and all she wants to do is drag Peeta off into a dark corner, cover his mouth with hers, and get lost. She wants to tell him all of the things that she can’t figure out how to say out loud right now, but she has a duty today, so those feelings will have to wait.

 

XX

 

While Gale and Neil talk to the wedding guests as they leave the venue, Katniss and Peeta stand inside the gazebo, looking out beyond at the trees that surround the area. Peeta is leaning forward, his hands resting on the white banister while Katniss sits on top of it, her legs crossed and her body pointing in Peeta’s direction. They have a little bit of time before they have to leave for the park Gale and Neil chose for photos. The reception will follow later in the evening.

 

“I wonder why they didn’t want to take pictures here. It’s beautiful,” Katniss says. A warm breeze passes through the trees, causing the leaves to rustle gently.

 

“They wanted to be difficult. They could have at least gotten a limo for us since we have to go all over town for them,” Peeta jokes.

 

With the wedding party being so minimal, Gale and Neil decided not to get a limo for the day. Instead, they used the money that they would have spent on a limo to hire the best photographer in the city. To them, pictures were more important than transportation, and Katniss and Peeta agreed that it was worth it and had no problem driving themselves to the park and reception hall.

 

“I really liked the ceremony. It was simple. The weddings I’ve been to in the past always seemed to go on forever,” Katniss says, fixing a bobby pin that is beginning to come loose from her hair.

 

“I know,” Peeta agrees. “I like that their ceremony focused on love and why we were here today over anything else. I want it to be like that when I get married.” He meets Katniss’s eyes, and he has that look again. There is something about the way that he says it and the way that he looks at her that tells her he isn’t talking about this in general terms. He chose his words carefully, but she knows he means when he marries her.

 

At first, Katniss is overcome with something that she thinks is fear. The lump in her throat at his words, the light sweat that forms on her temples, and the pounding of her heart against her chest are all ways she normally reacts when she’s afraid, but the more she thinks about it the more she realizes that what she’s feeling isn’t fear at all -- it’s joy. It’s certainty.

 

XX

 

When the last of the guests have gone, Katniss and Peeta find Gale and Neil standing just at the end of the runner used during the ceremony. Neil is dabbing his forehead with a handkerchief.

 

“We should have staged that receiving line out of the sun. I’m going to smell like swamp ass by the reception,” Neil huffs.

 

“That’s very romantic, Neil,” Gale says sarcastically, laughing and wiping his own forehead.

 

Neil pulls the handkerchief from his face and notices Katniss and Peeta standing there. “There you are,” he says, surprised. “You two disappeared for a while.”

 

“We were just over there in the gazebo being anti-social,” Peeta explains.

 

“I like that idea,” Gale says, turning to Neil. “Remind me again why we didn’t elope?”

 

“Because you wanted something out of a movie,” Neil deadpans. “But you forgot that also means talking to people. So I guess that part is your punishment for the six months of nagging I had to put up with.”

 

Gale laughs. “You did your share of nagging too, don’t try to act innocent in front of Katniss and Peeta.”

 

Neil shrugs, joining in on the laughter when he realizes he is busted. “Ready to get these pictures taken?” he asks.

 

After Gale makes sure Katniss and Peeta have the directions to the park, they head to their cars. Gale and Neil speed off quickly before Katniss and Peeta are even in the car. It is another few minutes before they take off down the road, miles behind Neil and Gale.

 

XX

 

The drive to the park is relatively quiet. Peeta concentrates on the written directions in his lap, and Katniss watches his profile. There is a look of concentration etched on Peeta’s face, and she finds herself smiling at the way he keeps biting the inside of his cheek every time he glances down at the paper. Katniss thinks back to the ceremony. The look in Peeta’s eyes as Gale and Neil said their vows, his declaration of the kind of wedding he wants, all of it seems to culminate all at once and ignites a fire through her body.

 

Katniss reaches out and begins to play with Peeta’s hair idly. She pushes the curls behind his ear and traces it with the tip of her finger. Then, she releases her seatbelt and leans over the center console to kiss his cheek. Once, twice, three time she kisses him before taking his earlobe into her mouth and sucking gently.

 

A moan slips past Peeta’s lips, but he continues to drive, focused on where he is headed. Katniss moves down to his neck and sucks the spot just under his jaw -- too lightly to leave a mark, but just enough to elicit another moan.

 

“What are you doing?” Peeta asks gravelly.

 

“Pull over,” Katniss breathes into his ear.

 

“We can’t right now, Katniss. We have somewhere to be.” Peeta has not taken his focus off of the deserted road in front of him. The trees that line each side of the road are lush and green, encapsulating them in seclusion.

 

Katniss ignores Peeta’s refusal and continues to suck on his neck. His breathing is getting heavier with each kiss of her lips, his resolve breaking with every swipe of her tongue.

 

With a heavy groan, Peeta swerves the car to the side of the road stepping hard on the breaks as the tires lock and skid across the pavement. He throws the car into park and shuts down the engine before turning his face to meet Katniss’s eager mouth. Their tongues slide over each other instantly.

 

Katniss knows as soon as Peeta kisses her that he was feeling this too. That there is no way either of them were going to make it through the rest of the day without this, no matter how unaffected Peeta tried to act. The feelings are too consuming. They have to be together, feel each other, hear each other, even if only for a quick moment.

 

With careful haste, Katniss moves across the center console and straddles Peeta’s lap as he pulls the lever on the side of his seat and pushes it back so he is in a lying position. Katniss hoists her dress up, holding the skirt under her arms as she begins to pull Peeta’s shirt from his pants and unbuckle his belt.

 

The moments of frantic fumbling that follow as Katniss tries to free Peeta from his pants and move her panties to the side are agonizing. Their breathing is loud and labored, but as soon as Katniss lowers herself onto Peeta, their sighs of relief flood the small space of the car.

 

XX

 

As soon as Katniss and Peeta pull into the parking lot of the park they see Gale, Neil, and the photographer staring at the car as they park. Neil looks down at his watch, then back to the car with a confused look.

 

Katniss fixes her dress as she steps out of the car, smoothing the skirt down over her legs, then quickly looks at her hair in the reflection of the window, adjusting it just slightly before making her way around to Peeta’s side of the car.

 

Once Peeta steps out of the car, he begins to tuck his shirt back in and re-buckle his belt. Katniss pushes the knot of his tie back up to his collar and straightens the tie over his chest. She moves her hand up to his hair and fixes it, moving it around to recreate the purposefully messy look that it was in before they pulled off to the side of the road.

 

“Do I look all right?” Peeta asks, checking his own reflection in the window.

 

“Fine. What about me?” Katniss replies, standing next to him to check herself a second time.

 

“Beautiful,” Peeta whispers. He takes her hand. “We look really guilty, don’t we?”

 

“Yep,” Katniss says quickly as she looks at their reflections staring back at them before they both erupt into laughter.

 

As they get closer, Katniss notices that Gale is cringing and Neil is laughing while shaking his head. They know. Neil leans over and says something to the photographer, and she walks off, going to the spot in the grass where her tripod is set up and waiting for them to begin.

 

“Sorry we’re late,” Peeta says. He doesn’t make an excuse, but also doesn’t elaborate any further.

 

“All better, then?” Neil asks, still shaking his head and he turns to look at Gale. “I thought _we_ were the newlyweds?”

 

Katniss feels her cheeks begin to burn, and Peeta looks down at the ground sheepishly.

 

“That’s what I thought too,” Gale says with mock confusion in his voice before he begins to laugh with Neil. “You guys are shit at playing it cool.”

 

Neil takes a step forward and forms a square with this thumbs and forefingers. “May as well write ‘We had a quickie!’ on your forehead.” He looks over to the photographer. “She’s ready. Come on, let’s go immortalize your guilty after-sex faces.”

 

XX

 

Katniss sits at the wedding party table in the reception hall, taking in the beautiful room before her. The guest tables are set up around the shining, polished dance floor that is situated in the center, where two large, glass chandeliers hang from the ceiling casting a muted yellow hue across the beige walls and crown moulding. A similar blue glow is cast across the room, hitting the crystals of the chandeliers and casting shadows onto the high ceilings.

 

On each table is a set of three glasses in various sizes filled with water. In the water are twigs of various sizes collected by Gale and Neil during their camping trip in April. At the top of the glasses sits a floating candle that helps illuminate the table.

 

Katniss is beginning to feel nervous. Gale talked her into giving a speech before dinner, and now she is heavily regretting cracking under the pressure and agreeing to do it. Peeta is also going to deliver a speech, but he is not at all nervous about it. He does this kind of thing all the time at fundraisers, so he is used to it. Katniss on the other hand is far less experienced with delivering any sort of speech beyond announcing that she has to pause the DVR to take go into the kitchen on a snack run.

 

Peeta goes first. He stands up, thanking everyone for coming to support his brother and new brother-in-law. He then dives into a speech about him and Neil that is tied in with support, love, and how Neil has helped him and continues to help him. He regales the guests by telling them a story of Neil letting Peeta climb up and stand on his back so he could reach the mint bowl in the bakery when Peeta was four. He tells everyone that they were a team and in some respects, always will be a team. He finishes up by welcoming Gale to the family and tells him that he is now part of the team, too.

 

There isn’t a look, a word, or even a number to express how much love Katniss feels for Peeta at this moment. His poise, his confidence, his sincerity, and the obvious love he has for his brother all shine in his speech. However, this only heightens Katniss’s nerves. How can she possibly follow that? She takes a sip of water before grabbing her notecards from the table. Everyone calms and quiets down as they wait for her to begin.

 

Katniss looks down at her cards, but the words that she wrote just a week ago look like they were written by someone else and in a completely different language. She can’t seem to figure out how to read them.

 

After a few seconds of awkward silence, and Peeta moving slightly as though he wants to stand up and help Katniss, she finally begins to speak.

 

“I helped you this morning,” Katniss says, facing Gale. Gale gives her a confused smile. “You put your pants on backwards, you lost your shoes, you didn’t know if you should fix your hair better, and I was there to help you -- like I’ve always been.” She drops her hands, deciding that what she had written on the notecards was too impersonal. “Peeta said he and Neil were a team, and that is what you and I were. We were always there for each other. We had ice cream dates after breakups and dinner dates when we knew there was nobody else out there who would have us as their company. We always had each other’s backs.

 

“But more importantly, it was the comfort we provided to each other. Knowing that there was at least one person out there who accepted us for who we were, no questions asked was a comfort that I never took for granted. I don’t think you did, either. Sure, there was teasing, there was fighting, but can you really call yourself someone’s best friend without them?” Katniss pauses for a moment as the emotions threaten to consume and drown her. She looks to Peeta, and he nods. It fills her with the confidence she needs to continue. “And then you saw Neil this afternoon, and I saw the look on your face. That’s when I knew that my job as the best friend that you spend every moment with was done.

 

“You realized this long before I did, you told me as much not long after I met Peeta, but I didn’t understand it then. I do now. I am happy for you. You found the one you’ve been waiting for, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to pass the torch to.” She looks at Neil then, a smile that is tinged with sadness is etched on her face. “Neil, take care of my best friend and I will take care of yours.”

 

There is a hush over the crowd as Katniss clears her throat and sits down abruptly. She is looking down into her empty dinner plate when the applause begins and Gale grabs her hand. He brings it to his mouth and kisses it, whispering a thank you as he sets her hand back down on her lap.

 

XX

 

The guests gather around the cake and try to provoke Gale and Neil as they stand poised, each of them with a slice of cake in their hands. Neil strikes first, smashing the slice of cake into Gale's mouth, dipping his thumb into the frosting and smearing it across the tip of Gale's nose just as Gale shoves his slice into Neil's face hard, rubbing it in with his palm.

 

"It's in my nose!" Neil shouts with an amused chuckle. He drags his hand down his face, clearing the cake. He shakes his hand, sending cake and frosting flying and guests running.

 

Gale pulls Neil to him with his clean hand and kisses him. What Gale doesn't notice is Neil putting his hand out behind him. Peeta moves quickly, darting over to the cake table and grabbing another slice of cake. He drops it into Neil's hand and Neil wastes no time smashing it into the side of Gale's head.

 

After Gale and Neil clean themselves off, the focus shifts to the dance floor where the guests line up around the perimeter and wait to watch the newlyweds have their first dance.

 

As Gale laces his fingers through Neil’s _“All the Way”_ by Frank Sinatra begins to play. They sway together to the music, seemingly unperturbed by the large audience surrounding them.

 

“Gale still has some cake on his earlobe,” Peeta whispers with a chuckle.

 

Katniss and Peeta are invited to the dance floor for the second slow dance of the night. As soon as they begin to move languidly to the soft, slow tune, Katniss can understand how Gale and Neil weren’t bothered with all of the eyes on them. Katniss’s arms are wrapped around Peeta’s back while his encircle her neck, and his cheek rests on Katniss’s forehead. They hold each other tightly, their bodies so close Katniss doesn’t think anything can come between them. The world is lost. All Katniss can hear is Peeta breathing contently, all she can feel are his arms wrapped around her and the curls at the back of his neck lightly tickling her wrist.

 

She closes her eyes and lets the moment take over.

 

When the time comes for Gale to dance with his mother, Katniss is sitting at an empty table, rubbing the soles of her feet. She smiles warmly as Gale whisks Hazelle across the dance floor, laughing and talking a mile a minute as they move.

 

Then she spots Neil and Peeta. They stand on the other side of the dance floor near a speaker, their faces holding a noticeable amount of sadness. Neil’s eyes flick from Gale and Hazelle over to where Bev sits holding her wine glass several times before Peeta says something, squeezes Neil’s shoulder, and directs him to the bar.

 

It’s a rare, private moment that Katniss suspects she isn’t supposed to see. Neil is always the one to play it cool when it came to Bev. Brushing her off never seems to be a problem, but ever since his engagement announcement was ignored on Christmas Day, Katniss has witnessed his composure crumbling, bit by bit.

 

As the dance between Gale and Hazelle ends, Katniss pushes her feet back into her heels and walks out onto the dance floor.

 

“I’m sorry, Hazelle, can I borrow Gale for a minute?” Katniss asks. the urgency in her voice must be noticeable as Hazelle nods quickly and tells them to go.

 

“Did Neil want to dance with his mother?” Katniss asks Gale after she’s pulled him away from the dance floor.

 

“Well, yeah,” Gale replies. “Why?”

 

“He didn’t look too happy a minute ago,” Katniss says sadly. “I don’t want it to ruin your day so I wanted you to know. He’s at the bar with Peeta.”

 

Gale nods and rubs Katniss’s shoulder quickly before dashing off in the direction of the bar to find Neil.

 

XX

 

Katniss loses count of how many times she has gone out to the dance floor to slow dance with Peeta, but as far as she knows, they haven’t missed a single one. They were even out in the middle of the floor when everyone else was too busy watching Gale’s college buddies throw him into the air in celebration in the lobby of the hall.

 

Every so often, Peeta whispers something into Katniss’s ear while they dance. _“I’m so lucky”, “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me”, “I love you”,_ and asKatniss leans her head down to rest on Peeta’s chest, she thinks she hears him lightly humming to the tune of the song.

 

She remembers the night in her apartment, the first time she slow danced with Peeta. Back then, she thought it couldn’t get any better. She wants to laugh at how wrong she was that day. The charge she feels between her and Peeta now is almost overwhelming by comparison. Among the love and the support they’ve given to each this year are unspoken promises of a future that is waiting for them as soon as they were willing to begin chasing it.

 

Katniss is momentarily ripped from her bliss when she notices that Prim and Gale’s younger brother Rory have stepped onto the dance floor. Katniss observes the comfortable distance between them as they begin to rock back and forth to the music. They quickly begin a conversation as they dance. The smile on Prim’s face prompts Katniss to let it go. Prim is not a little girl anymore, and there is nothing she can do to stop her from mingling. If Katniss could feel this happy, then why shouldn’t Prim be able to have that same happiness? It is tough to watch her little sister get that close to a man, but she is determined not to interfere tonight.

 

“I need another drink if I am going to have to watch Prim slow dance with Rory all night,” Katniss says once the song has ended and a faster dance song begins.

 

“I need to use the bathroom, but do you think you can get me a beer?” Peeta asks. At Katniss’s nod, he heads in the direction of the bathrooms while Katniss heads in the opposite direction toward the bar.

 

Spencer is at the bar when Katniss approaches. He is placing a tip in the bartender’s jar and thanking him when he turns around and almost runs right into Katniss.

 

“Hey, Katniss,” Spencer says, pivoting to the side to avoid crashing into her.

 

“Hello,” Katniss replies, shocked that he acknowledged her. “Where’s Naomi?”

 

“At home,” Spencer answers listlessly. “She’s miserable and uncomfortable right now, so she’s probably curled up in bed eating ice cream in her pajamas.” His face grows suddenly serious. “I liked your speech.” 

 

“Thanks,” Katniss says leerily. There is nothing negative in his words, but Katniss still doesn’t know if she can trust that what he says.

 

It’s as though Spencer senses this. “I know I didn’t give you much of a chance before this, but you have to understand... my mother...”

 

Katniss cuts him off by putting her hand up. She tips the bartender and takes her drink and Peeta’s beer and motions with her head for Spencer to follow her away from the crowded bar. Her filter is a little thinner than usual thanks to the cocktails she has already had tonight and it’s this that spurs her to speak.

 

“What I’d like to understand isn’t your mother, but why you listen to her,” Katniss says. She is clutching Peeta’s beer so hard the cold bottle is beginning to hurt her hand.

 

Spencer sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Because I’m the only one who will,” he says sadly.

 

“You don’t have to, you know,” Katniss reminds him.

 

“And then make my life miserable having to work with her all the time?” Spencer counters.

 

“Is it any better now?”

 

“It’s quiet and uneventful,” Spencer says with a nod. “That’s how I like it.”

 

“Is it worth alienating your brothers for?” Katniss asks harshly.

 

“They can do whatever they want, who cares if I’m alienating them?” Spencer retorts, downing the rest of his drink.

 

“They care... and I think you do, too.” Katniss clenches her jaw to stop herself from yelling. “Don’t get jealous because they had the balls to do what they wanted instead of listening to _her_. That was your choice.”

 

“I never asked to be born with my career already decided for me,” Spencer says desperately.

 

“Your brothers didn’t either, and they did something about it,” Katniss stresses.

 

“But this is what I’m supposed to do,” Neil says unhappily.

 

“Says who?” Katniss presses.

 

“Says _her_ ,” Spencer hisses.

 

Katniss rolls her eyes. “Of course she does, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. You’re the only one that listening, and that’s why you’re her favorite.”

 

“She doesn’t have a favorite,” Spencer scoffs. “Just one she hates the least.”

 

For the first time, Katniss feels sorry for Spencer, but she doesn’t know what else to say to him. “You know what you should do then?” she asks. “Talk to your brothers. Talking to me about this isn’t going to solve anything.”

  
Katniss turns to walk away but Spencer calling her name stops her. She turns around and stares at him, waiting for him to speak.

 

“I’m sorry... about everything,” Spencer says sheepishly. He looks down at his shoes for a moment before meeting Katniss’s eyes once more. “Be good to my brother.”

 

“I am,” Katniss replies. Spencer lets her walk away this time.

 

XX

 

Katniss watches Prim and Peeta on the dance floor as they both do “ _The Twist”_ together. They’re laughing and having a great time, and Katniss is almost content to stand there and watch them for the rest of the night, but something is pulling her toward them. Just as she is about to run out on the dance floor and join them, she hears a voice behind her.

 

“You’re next, aren’t you?” Bev asks. Katniss freezes at the sound of her voice. This is not what she needs right now.

 

Katniss turns around and looks at Bev. “What?” she asks.

 

“You’re the next to get married,” Bev reiterates.

 

“I don’t know. I’m just trying to enjoy my friends’ wedding,” Katniss answers shortly.

 

“Don’t give me that,” Bev says disbelievingly. “I saw you two out there on the dance floor.”

 

Katniss isn’t sure what’s going on tonight. Why had the Mellarks decided that tonight was the night to talk to her? “I’m going to go dance with my sister,” she says, attempting to end the conversation.

 

“Wait...” Bev says roughly. Katniss huffs and stares at Bev impatiently. She notices Bev’s eyes pass her shoulder and look to the dance floor before landing back on Katniss. “Don’t mess up.”

 

Katniss stands still for a moment and replays the words in her head. Was this Bev’s way of accepting her? She decides that it is as close as she is probably going to get to acceptance or apology and for now, that is enough for her.

 

With a final look over her shoulder, Katniss knows she has only one thing to say to Bev.

 

“You should have danced with your son,” Katniss says bitterly.

 

Quickly, before anyone has the chance to stop her again, Katniss ambles away and joins Prim and Peeta on the dance floor just as Gale and Neil run out to the dance floor holding hands. Katniss gives Gale a look, silently asking him if Neil is all right. Gale nods and gives a subtle smile as they both begin to do The Twist with Prim and Peeta, laughing at Neil who reluctantly joins them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. I Know a Man

"Shh!" Gale's finger goes to his lips quickly, stopping Neil in his tracks.  
  
"Sorry!" Neil whispers loudly, freezing mid-step.  
  
Katniss concentrates on the spot of foliage in front of her where Gale's finger points to as a rabbit darts out from under a pile of leaves.   
  
"Scared it off," Gale gripes, sighing. "You walk so fucking loud."  
  
"Sorry!" Neil repeats. "It runs in the family."  
  
"Peeta walks loudly, too," Katniss and Neil say in unison, then laugh together. Katniss taps on Gale's backpack, and he moves his hand around to the zipper. He shoves his hand in blindly and begins to dig around.  
  
"Speaking of Peeta," Gale begins. "Don't forget to tell him he's a bum for not coming with us today." He finds a cold bottle of water and pulls it from his bag, handing it to Katniss who opens it quickly and takes a long pull. It's hot and humid, even under the shade of the trees on the hiking trail she, Gale, and Neil are walking today.  
  
"If I had service on my phone out here, I'd text him and tell him right now," Neil complains, kicking a twig with his boot. "Who passes up hiking?"  
  
"Give him a break guys," Katniss says defensively. "You know how hard he has been working preparing for his new job. School starts next week, remember. The end of August is always busy for him."  
  
"All the more reason for him to take a break to hike with us," Neil says flippantly.   
  
Peeta worked hard with Dr. Aurelius for weeks after he and Peeta decided that he should look for a new job. Dr. Aurelius helped Peeta see that he needed to go after a job that would help shape his future. and told Peeta that he had to let go of feeling like he owed the old school something for hiring him in the first place.   
  
Once Peeta realized that it was time to move on to bigger and better things, he prepped hard for interviews with new schools. Katniss helped him put together examples of lesson plans and went through every possible interview question with him that they could think of until he was confident with his answers and ready for anything.   
  
He got the call back with a job offer in May and accepted it two days later. For a long time, the only person who knew about the job was Katniss, as Peeta didn't want to tell anyone until after Gale and Neil's wedding. He refused to take anything away from them by announcing a brand new - and great - job.  
  
The new job is a faculty position where he will be placed on the payroll and receive full benefits. Peeta was so happy the day he realized he would no longer have to attend fundraisers to ensure he earned a living. Once the school year begins, Peeta will be teaching K-8 and working with a team of teachers that collaborate together and all have input on the art curriculum and year end benchmarks around the entire school district. It was his unique lesson plans that helped Peeta get the job over the other candidates, even those that held masters degrees as opposed to his bachelors degree, but no matter how many times Katniss tried to tell Peeta that it was his creativity that got him the job, he still believes it was all because of the help she gave him organizing everything.  
  
Peeta has been working almost non-stop for the last week trying to get everything in order for the first day of school. When Gale and Neil asked him and Katniss to go hiking with them, Peeta knew he wouldn't have the time to spend an entire day out, but told Katniss she should go and have fun with Gale and Neil anyway.   
  
"Back off a little, Neil," Gale warns, giving Neil a disbelieving look. "You know how excited Peeta is about this."  
  
"Katniss knows I was only joking," Neil scoffs. "We have all fall to hike again. Now can we get back to it or are we going to keep looking at bunnies?" Gale shoves Neil playfully as the three resume their trek up the trail.   
  
"So how is married life treating you guys? It's almost your two month anniversary," Katniss asks, breaking the silence. "Is it everything you ever dreamed it would be?" she adds sarcastically.   
  
Gale turns around to face Katniss, walking up the trail backward. "Good," he says pointedly. "No disasters to speak of yet."  
  
"Well there's going to be one if you keep walking backwards," Neil retorts, causing Gale to turn back around quickly to walk the right way.  
  
Katniss walks faster and wedges herself between Gale and Neil. "Is there anything different?" she asks. "About being married as opposed to simply living together?"  
  
"In a way there is, but in a way there isn't," Neil says with a shrug.   
  
"In what ways is it different?" Katniss presses.   
  
"Bills," Neil and Gale both reply.   
  
"We are boring now. Some nights we sit and work on our budget when before we'd be out at a bar dancing until two in the morning or having dinner somewhere nice," Neil explains.   
  
"I don't mind it too much," Gale says, pulling his backpack higher on his shoulders. "Even though it's boring, there's something comforting about it. I kind of look forward to those nights."   
  
"He just likes to watch my face when I try to do math," Neil jokes. A proud smile appears on his face when Gale nods fervently.   
  
"And how is it the same?" Katniss asks without hesitation.   
  
"The simpler things haven't changed," Gale explains. "We still relax together every night and have our designated one night a week where we catch up on what's on the DVR."  
  
"Same routine in the morning," Neil adds.   
  
"The day to day stuff is what it always was. Only now we're married," Gale finishes.  
  
"Were you wondering if the sex is different?" Neil questions.  
  
"Nope." Katniss shakes her head. "I'm good."  
  
"I mean, we don't stop off on the side of the road for quickies or anything like that.."  
  
"I said I'm good!" Katniss yells. She walks faster and puts herself a few paces ahead of Gale and Neil before slowing down a little.   
  
As the three continue to walk, Katniss's mind drifts to Peeta and what he may be working on now. She hopes he has at least taken a break since she left this morning. Will he be hungry when she gets home later, or will he have already made a quick snack? She wants to call him, but her phone service is spotty at best in the thick of the trees.   
  
Instead, she decides to take pictures for Peeta to show him what she saw since he can't be there himself. Maybe he will want to try to paint one. Katniss has found that she really loves to watch Peeta paint. They have spent more time in the spare room in the last four months than Katniss has spent the entire time she lived there before Peeta moved in.   
  
Peeta has been doing a lot of painting lately. A wide variety of things, but for some reason, he won't hang any of them. He just puts them all into the closet and begins the next one.   
Katniss thinks about bringing up the paintings later and asking if he could hang a few around the apartment to go with the painting of the river above the couch. She wants Peeta to be proud of his work. What's the point of painting them if he's going to stuff them into a closet?  
  
"What are you thinking about up there? A certain blond with curls that get in his  _ocean-blue eye_ s because he refuses to let his brother cut them?" Neil says in a sing-song voice from behind Katniss.  
  
"Shut up," Katniss snaps, rolling her eyes even though Neil can't see her. She doesn't turn around but the sound of Gale and Neil's laughter is enough to tell her they know Neil was right.  
  
Katniss stops several time over the next two hours to snap a few pictures with her phone for Peeta, in hopes that at least one is good enough for him to try and paint. She spots a lone tree with leaves that have already begun to turn orange and red hidden in a sea of green, and later, a black squirrel running near a stream of water. The downward slope of the path they're following looks like something Peeta has painted before but she snaps the picture anyway when she notices the raccoon tracks in the mud along the edge. She can almost hear Peeta in her head talking about how fun it would be to try to paint it so the tracks are the main focus.  
  
After Gale and Neil have finally led Katniss out of the woods and back to the parking lot, Gale notes that it's almost five o'clock and they should decide what to do for dinner.   
  
"I need to get a shower before I think about food," Neil says. "What are you and Peeta doing for dinner, Katniss?"  
  
"I'm not sure. I'll have to check with Peeta when I get home, but I'll let you guys know. If I can drag him away from those lesson plans maybe we can meet somewhere so Peeta can get out of the apartment for a few hours," Katniss explains.   
  
"Great," Neil nods, grinning inscrutably. "Let me know your answer."  
  
"Talk to you later, Katniss," Gale says, grinning as he hurriedly gets into the car.

XX

  
Forty-five minutes later, Katniss is sliding the key into the apartment door's lock. The drive home brought on undeniable fatigue, and all she can focus on is how filthy she feels from old sweat and dirt. She pushes the door open and sets her keys next to Peeta's on the small table at the entrance.   
  
After setting her bag down on the floor, Katniss looks up to see Peeta sitting cross-legged on the couch, holding papers in his hand and looking at her. He's smiling gently, as though he's just as happy to see her as she is to see him.   
  
Spotting all of the papers on the floor, Katniss walks carefully to the couch as to not disturb the papers Peeta has strategically placed across the floor and coffee table. Peeta's arms are out and wrapped around Katniss's middle as soon as she reaches him. His head is tilted up to look at her as she brushes the curls away from his eyes, smiling as she remembers Neil's comment from earlier.   
  
"Hey," Katniss says whimsically.   
  
Peeta rests his head against Katniss's stomach and breathes in deeply. "Hey," he says in return, echoing her tone.   
  
"I missed you today," Katniss sighs, smoothing her hand over the back of his neck.   
  
"Missed you too," Peeta replies against her stomach.   
  
Katniss pulls away to look at him better. Despite the papers everywhere, he looks like he has had a relaxing day. Bare feet stick out from the light gray sweatpants he is wearing, and she suspects the white t-shirt is from the brand new pack he bought last week because it's so unnaturally white and clean. "You look comfortable," she notes, wishing she were clean and comfortable right along with him.  
  
"It's an illusion," Peeta disputes. "This stuff is stressing me out." he sighs, sounding a little shaky. Katniss pulls him to her again, cradling the back of his head in her hands before leaning down and kissing the top of his head. "I'm making dinner though," he adds. "It's in the oven now and should be ready in about an hour."  
  
Katniss sniffs the air. "What is it?"   
  
"Nope," Peeta says, shaking his head stubbornly. "You know I won't tell you. You'll see when it's time to eat, no kitchen for you until it's ready."   
  
Katniss laughs and nods her head in understanding. Peeta always does this when he makes dinner. Katniss has come home from work quite a few times to Peeta in the kitchen, running out to tell her to stay out and that she isn't allowed to peek, and he always has her write her guesses, no more than three, to see if she's right when the time comes to eat. Katniss doesn't get the chance to cook dinner as often. Due to their schedules, Peeta is usually the one that gets home first and gets dinner started.   
  
"Well in that case, I'm going to take a shower while the food cooks, since you won't let me in the kitchen to help anyway," Katniss says, feigning annoyance.   
  
"There's nothing to do anyway," Peeta assures her. "Just don't forget to write your guesses down."   
  
"I'll put them on my phone and have them done by dinner."   
  
As Katniss walks away and up the hall toward the bedroom, she glances into the kitchen's pass-through, but she can't see inside the oven from this position. Quickly, she scans the area for some kind of evidence for what Peeta may be cooking - like garbage he forgot to throw away or a spoon with something on it - but she can't find anything.   
  
"No peeking!" Peeta yells from the couch, causing Katniss to laugh and continue to the bedroom.

XX

  
  
  
Katniss emerges from the bedroom in a pair of light blue lounge pants and a white tank top feeling worlds better. She can smell something delicious as soon as she steps into the hallway and takes a minute to try and decipher the smell before she makes her three guesses as to what it might be.   
  
Throwing her hair into a lazy bun, she walks down the hall and immediately notices that Peeta has set the dining room table.   
  
"My stuff is in the way in the living room, so I figured we could survive one night without the couch while we ate," Peeta explains quickly. He grips a kitchen towel in his hands and pulls at it a little nervously.  
  
Katniss isn't sure why they never eat in the dining room. It is a perfectly good dining room set, but they have always eaten in the living room. The table always felt too big and depressing when it was just Katniss and she never wanted to sit alone. Once Peeta started coming around, the habit seemed to have rubbed off on him.   
  
"It smells great," Katniss says, breathing in the simultaneously sweet and savory scent.   
  
"Did you make your three guesses?" Peeta asks, smiling.  
  
"I just have to write them down," Katniss nods, pulling up the notes on her phone and typing her guesses. When she finishes, she hands her phone to Peeta and sits down at the table to wait.   
  
Peeta looks at her phone and reads through the list. "Macaroni and cheese?" he asks, disappointed.   
  
"What's wrong with macaroni and cheese?!" Katniss exclaims, throwing her hands in the air.   
  
"Nothing is with with macaroni and cheese, I just didn't expect that as a guess. It's not macaroni and cheese. Next!" Peeta looks at the phone again and reads the next guess. "Baked Ziti. Close, but no..." he eyes her suspiciously. "Did you peek?"  
  
"No, but I tried," Katniss laughs. "I couldn't find any hints."  
  
Peeta gives her a look of fake anger before turning his eyes back to the phone. He laughs loudly at the last guess. "Some kind of casserole? I think that's cheating," he hands the phone back to Katniss and shakes his head. "I can't accept that answer. Some kind of casserole could mean a lot."  
  
"Fine," Katniss says. "Tuna noodle casserole."  
  
Peeta crinkles his nose and narrows his eyes at Katniss. "I'm pretty sure the smell would give that one away," he says.   
  
"Fine," Katniss says sarcastically. "You win. What is it?"  
  
Peeta disappears into the kitchen and returns a moment later carrying a long baking dish. He sets it down on a matt in the middle of the table and waves his hand over it. "Lasagna," he says proudly.  
  
"Oh come on!" Katniss laughs. "You won't accept my baked ziti guess for lasagna?!" She can feel her stomach growl in response to the stronger aroma now that Peeta has brought it into the room.  
  
"Nope!" Peeta says, laughing with Katniss. "This is lasagna, not baked ziti."  
  
"It's basically the same thing," Katniss argues.  
  
"It's not," Peeta counters. "Different noodles. Try again!"   
  
Katniss knows she will never tire of this banter. She loves the comfort level they have reached over the last few months. Peeta's sense of humor and ability to make something basic a cause for laughter that brings a tear to her eye is incredible.   
  
"It looks delicious," Katniss finally manages to say once the laughter has subsided.   
  
"Well don't eat too much, because I'm making an apple pie, too," Peeta reveals.  
  
" _The_  apple pie?" Katniss asks with a smile.  
  
"That's the one," Peeta returns the smile as he begins to dish out the food.

XX

  
Katniss curls up next to Peeta on the couch. Her legs are curled up under her, and her head is resting on Peeta's upper arm. Despite what Peeta said, they both ate too much anyway. Katniss feels relaxed and tired against Peeta's warm body and begins to close her eyes.   
  
Just as Katniss is about to drift off to sleep, she feels Peeta's body shift. When she opens her eyes, she notices that he is pointing to various stacks of paper that are on the floor.  
  
"What are you doing?" Katniss asks, confused.   
  
"These papers on the floor are lesson plans arranged by grade level," he explains. "Each one is going to have its own place in that binder on the coffee table so that they're easier to find now that I'm going to be teaching a wider age range than before. I just wanted to make sure that they were all where they should be."  
  
"Can I see?" Katniss says gently. She notices Peeta's nervous posture and the way he wrings his hands together while speaking. He really is stressed about this.   
  
Peeta leans forward and picks up a small stack of papers. "This is Kindergarten," he says, placing the papers on his lap before beginning to flip through the pages. "Here are projects for holidays. Basic stuff like paper hearts for Valentine's day, or painting a flower pot for Mother's day."   
  
"That's cute," Katniss smiles. Peeta sets the stack of papers back where he took them from and grabs another, showing her in the same way.  
  
"This is eighth grade," Peeta states. "More involved projects like trying to emulate Picasso and writing about how their painting is similar and how it's different. Same with Mondrian." He shuffles through a few more pages and points to one near the end of the stack. "And this one is an idea I've been toying with that I think they might like. I want to see how they'd respond to creating 8-bit video game characters on graph paper. You know, like Space Invaders, but I'll have them come up with their own."   
  
"I think that sounds great, Peeta," Katniss assures him. "You have nothing to worry about." She looks at the pictures on the pages strewn across the coffee table and remembers her pictures from the hike. "I took pictures for you today."  
  
"Oh really?" Peeta says huskily, raising his eyebrows.   
  
"Not those kind of pictures," Katniss says, rolling her eyes. "Pictures of stuff I thought you might like to paint from the hike this afternoon."  
  
Peeta smiles and sets down the paper, returning to the couch looking more relaxed than he did before. "Can I see them?" he asks eagerly.   
  
Katniss grabs her phone and shows Peeta the pictures one by one, going slowly so Peeta can take in everything.   
  
"Oh, I like that one," Peeta says, pointing to the screen when Katniss switches to the picture of the raccoon tracks in the mud. "I'd like to try and paint that one to see if I could keep the tracks the main focus."  
  
"I had a feeling you'd say that," Katniss says, smiling widely.   
  
"Send them all to me," Peeta requests, grabbing his phone from the coffee table. His phone beeps and he looks through them, nodding. "Thank you for taking these for me."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
"I got new pictures of Sadie from Spencer today," Peeta says with a grin.  
  
Spencer's first daughter, Sadie, was born just a few days after Gale's birthday last month. Katniss and Peeta went to the hospital to visit her after Spencer called to share the news of Sadie's birth.   
  
Spencer and Peeta have been talking more lately. Between what Peeta is working on with Dr. Aurelius and Spencer's re-evaluation of his relationship with his brothers, things have been a lot less tense between Peeta and Spencer. Neil has been more resistant to let Spencer in, but Katniss is happy to see Peeta responding so positively.   
  
Katniss and Peeta have even been to Spencer and Naomi's house to visit a few times since Sadie was born. Peeta adores her, and he seems very happy that Spencer is allowing him to be part of Sadie's life. Every time Katniss and Peeta go to a store and pass by the baby section, Peeta always stops briefly and contemplates buying something for Sadie. Sometimes he picks up something, and other times he doesn't. He always seems worried he's trying too hard. Despite his reaction to the pregnancy, he has really taken his role as Uncle Peeta very seriously.  
  
"She looks so different from when we last saw her," Katniss notes as Peeta shows her the pictures.   
  
"I know. Look at that one," Peeta laughs pointing at the picture of Sadie in her crib. "She looks lost in there. We should go see her again soon."   
  
Sadie is a small baby and looks even smaller in the center of her large crib. She doesn't have any hair yet, but she makes up for it with her big brown eyes, like Naomi's. She's just a little over a month old, and from what Katniss can see is still the calm baby she was when they last visited her.   
  
"Maybe we can try to get Neil to come with us," Katniss suggests, but Peeta shakes his head solemnly.   
  
"He yelled at me the last time I brought it up," Peeta says. "I don't think we should try to force him anymore." He puts his phone away and sighs when he looks back at the stacks of papers still littering the floor. "I wish this was done, because I bought us a new game to play."  
  
"Really?" Katniss asks. "You went out today?"  
  
"Yeah. I didn't plan to, but then I really wanted to make lasagna and I knew we didn't have the noodles. I went and got them then stopped in GameStop on my way home and picked up the game."  
  
"What game is it?"   
  
"I put the case by the X-Box, go check it out," Peeta urges, pointing in the direction of the TV stand.  
  
Peeta has done this before. The last game he brought home almost caused World War III in the apartment after they both tried, but failed, to beat a level dozens of times. They haven't played that game since and Katniss hopes this game is better, or at least easier.  
  
Katniss kneels down on the floor and grabs the case to see the title. Immediately, she notices that it's "Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock". She is confused. She already has this game. In fact, it's the first game she and Peeta ever played together after their date to the pizza parlour when Peeta asked her to be his girlfriend.   
  
Does he really not remember that? Does she tell him that she already has the game and they've even played it together or does she let it go? Just as she's moving her hand to set the game back down, Peeta stops her by speaking.  
  
"Can you check to make sure the disc isn't scratched? I bought it used and forgot to look. I'd hate to try and play it later and have it not work."  
  
Katniss shrugs and suddenly feels awful. He really doesn't remember. It shouldn't matter so much, it's just a game. But for some reason, it matters to her - a lot. The lasagna suddenly feels like rocks in her stomach, but she pops the case open anyway, determined not to let herself get upset over something so trivial.   
  
All Katniss sees is green as she pries the two sides of the case from each other. The disc isn't scratched. It isn't there at all. As she opens the case the rest of the way, something silver catches her eye and it's only then that she notices the ring that is just barely balancing over the knob in the middle of the case.   
  
Katniss is frozen, staring at the ring. Three circular diamond stones on top with smaller ones are fastened into the inlay. It's beautiful, but simple. Before Katniss can even realize what's happening, Peeta is standing next to her. He gets down on the floor with Katniss, on one knee, and begins to gently pull the game case from her hands. She notices his hands shaking as he plucks the ring from where it lay and clutches it between his thumb and forefinger.   
  
Peeta takes a deep breath before taking Katniss's hand in his own. They stare at each other, not moving, not speaking.   
  
"You know," Peeta begins. Katniss can tell he is doing everything he can to keep his voice even and sounding confident. "I know that there are some men who are funny, brave, and smart. Other men are bold and perfect. These are the men that can love effortlessly and live easily." He shakes his head as tears well up in his eyes. "I am not..." he stops when his voice catches in his throat and he closes his eyes, letting the tears spill over before inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. "I am not one of those men.  
  
"I'm a man who doesn't have all of the answers, and I'm not always brave..." he stops again to attempt to compose himself and it's the last that Katniss can take before she lets her own tears fall. This seems to only make things worse. Peeta lowers his head and begins to breath deeply in attempts to still his shaking hands and find his voice again. "I'm definitely not always smart." Katniss grips his hand tightly, wanting so badly to tell him how untrue that is, but she knows she has to let him finish.   
  
"Some things come with great difficulty for me, and perfect is a word that I don't think will ever describe me." Katniss begins to shake her head hoping that it will convey to him that no matter what, he is perfect to her just the way he is. "There is one things that I do know..." he lets his voice die as he stares into Katniss's eyes and smiles before continuing. "I know that I love you with all of my heart. You gave me chances that nobody else would and support I never believed existed." He bites his lip as his face contorts under what appears to be an incredible urge to cry harder. "I want to spend the rest of my life helping you make your dreams come true." He shifts on his knee and brings the ring up to eye level. "Katniss, will you marry me?"  
  
All at once Katniss is pulled under the pressure of the emotions that have been coursing through her body as she listened to Peeta speak. There is happiness tinged with sorrow over his words, and joy mixed with nervousness over the inevitability of their future.   
  
Unable to speak, Katniss shakes her head yes, and she she wipes her tears with her free hand, Peeta slips the ring onto her finger just before Katniss thrusts herself up further onto her knees so she can reach Peeta's face. She takes his head in her hands and kisses him. It's breathless and frantic and Peeta smiles widely against her mouth as Katniss begins to plant small pecks to the corners of his.   
  
Katniss kisses him over and over, for what feels like hours. No words, just the sound of their breathing and the smack of their lips as they consume each other. Katniss runs her hands through Peeta's hair as he wraps his arms around her waist.  
  
Once the kisses finally cease, Katniss sits back down on her feet and looks at the ring on her finger. It's nothing that she ever expected for herself, but at the same time... it is.   
  
"Remind me to thank Gale and Neil for taking you on that hike today," Peeta says, smiling triumphantly when Katniss's head shoots up to look at him, her expression shocked.  
  
"They knew?" Katniss asks.   
  
"They've known for months," Peeta reveals.   
  
"Months?" Katniss is completely bowled over. How could Gale keep this from her for months?  
  
"Since Gale went with me to pick out the ring and I made him swear not to tell you," Peeta says. "I've been selling my painting so I could afford it."  
  
It is then that Katniss realizes the reason why Peeta hasn't hung any of his paintings. He has been selling them. She has never looked in the closet where he keeps them, because that is his space. He knew she wouldn't look in there.   
  
"You didn't have to sell your paintings for me," Katniss says guiltily.   
  
"I wanted to do this for you. Besides, what's the point in painting it I can't sell some of my work?" Peeta says.  
  
Katniss pushes herself back up on her knees and kisses Peeta again. Longer and deeper. All of her thoughts are washed away. She can't even find it in her to be shocked that Gale didn't tell her. If anything, she feels proud because he kept Peeta's secret.  
  
And then she remembers the look on Neil's face and what he said before he and Gale left the park - "Let me know your answer."  
  
At the time it sounded like he just wanted to know her answer about dinner, but now that she thinks about it further, she believes his statement held a different meaning entirely.  
  
"So I guess all of the complaining Neil did about you being a bum for not coming today was just an act?" Katniss asks, trying to put all of the pieces together.  
  
"Yeah, he's been practicing for weeks," Peeta laughs.   
  
Katniss smiles and shakes her head at Peeta. She can't believe the three of them pull this off under her nose and she didn't suspect it. It wasn't like she didn't know it would happen, she just never expected it to be today. And of course Peeta knew that if he did anything over the top she would figure it out.   
  
It all feels perfect exactly how it happened. Nothing fancy, nothing that isn't them. They are in their sweats in the middle of a living room full of papers scattered in various piles. It was them and it was more than Katniss could have ever hoped for.   
  
Katniss kisses Peeta again, this time grabbing a fistful of his hair before Peeta pulls away and looks at her.  
  
"I think the pie should be cooled by now," Peeta says, getting up from the floor and pulling Katniss to her feet.

XX

  
Katniss sits on top of the dining room table, legs wrapped around Peeta's sweaty body as they both struggle to catch their breath.   
  
"So we used the table twice today," Peeta laughs, burying his head in Katniss's neck and planting a kiss on her collarbone.  
  
"Twice, but for very different things," Katniss corrects. A slice of untouched pie sits at arms reach, the ice cream is melted and pools at the bottom of the plate. "I think that piece is beyond saving."  
  
"I'll get another one," Peeta says, pulls himself out of the grip Katniss's legs have around his body. He slips his boxer briefs on, grabs the plate and brings it into the kitchen.   
  
Katniss grabs her own underwear and slips them on while she waits for Peeta. She is just about to hop off the table to look for her bra when Peeta comes back in with a fresh piece of pie.   
  
"No," Peeta says, pushing Katniss back down onto the table top. "Stay." He positions himself back between her legs as they go right back up around Peeta's body where they were before. Peeta puts a bite of pie on the fork and brings it to Katniss's mouth, feeding her the bite, and Katniss mimics his action, taking the plate and fork from him to give him a bite.   
  
They kiss and feed each other until the slice of pie is crumbs and the dollop of ice cream has disappeared.   
  
Peeta pulls away first and looks into Katniss's eyes. She pushes the hair from his forehead and snakes her hand down to rest on his neck.   
  
"When did you know?" Katniss asks.   
  
It takes Peeta less than a second to understand her question. "In January," he begins. "The morning after my breakdown when you called off work to be with me. I thought that if we could survive that, we could survive anything. I knew that if we made it out of that together, I was going to marry you." He grins and runs the pad of his thumb down Katniss's cheek. "When did you know?"  
  
"When I had breakfast with Gale the day we went to see your mother," Katniss admits. "He was telling me what it felt like to know you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone, and everything he said I just... I got it. I knew what that meant."  
  
Peeta's lips find hers instantly, and he captures her lip between his teeth in a playful kiss. Katniss runs her hand down Peeta's chest and pushes him away, and he looks at her, confused as to why she'd push him away.   
  
"I should call your brother," Katniss says, patting Peeta's chest.   
  
"Oh come on," Peeta whines as Katniss hops off the table and begins to walk toward the living room to retrieve her phone. "You're going to abandon me for my brother?"  
  
"Just for a minute," Katniss soothes. "He has been waiting for my answer all night."


	16. We Are the Lucky Ones

“He has been waiting for my answer all night.” Katniss turns around to see Peeta standing at the table with his hands in the air. “Just a few minutes!” she promises.  
  
The phone is barely past the first ring when Neil picks it up. “Am I speaking to the future Mrs. Peeta Mellark?”  
  
“Yes, you are,” Katniss laughs. She spots a laundry basket on the floor near the couch and quickly pulls Peeta’s black Hawaiian shirt out. She slips her arms through and buttons it halfway before turning to Peeta and giving him a sheepish smile.  
  
“Trying to talk to my brother with no clothes on, I see,” Peeta jokingly whispers.  
  
“I covered up,” Katniss shoots back, covering the phone with her hand. She hears Neil sigh in relief on the other end.  
  
“Gale just gave me the nastiest look and I realized that I wasn’t even sure if that was why you were calling,” Neil says nervously.  
  
“You could have ruined the whole thing just now, Neil,” Katniss teases.  
  
“I’m a terrible person,” Neil retorts sarcastically.  
  
“The worst.”  
  
“Sorry I couldn’t tell you, I really wanted to,” Neil says apologetically.  
  
“Don’t worry about it,” Katniss assures him. “The surprise was better anyway, and Gale would’ve been pissed at you for weeks if you told.”  
  
“You’re right, he would have,” Neil chuckles into the phone. A brief silences falls over the line before Neil continues to speak. “Congratulations. I don’t think you realize how happy you make him.”  
  
“I don’t think he realizes how happy he makes me,” Katniss counters. She looks over to Peeta who is now wiping down the dining room table. He smiles in her direction, but then his face quickly contorts and he crinkles his nose and purses his lips while pointing at the table top. Katniss rolls her eyes and matches Peeta’s revolted expression before laughing at him. She’ll have to thank him later for cleaning up.  
  
“I’ll let you get back to your fiancee now,” Neil says, breaking Katniss’s focus on Peeta. “That giggle did not sound innocent at all. I’m glad you called to let me know, though.”  
  
“Well, you told me to,” Katniss reminds him.  
  
“You figured it out, huh?”  Neil says. Katniss can practically hear his smile through the phone.  
  
“After the fact, but yeah,” Katniss replies.  
  
“Hang on a second, Gale wants to get on for a second.” Katniss hears Neil hand the phone over to Gale and he clears his throat before speaking.  
  
“Judging by what Neil was saying, I take it you said yes?” Gale deadpans.  
  
“I said yes,” Katniss confirms.  
  
“Congratulations!” Gale’s voice has gone from monotone to almost impossibly excited in a matter of seconds. “We have planning to do!”  
  
Katniss groans and rolls her eyes. “Don’t get all weird about my wedding now,” she warns.  
  
“All I ask is that you keep me in the loop with your plans,” Gale requests innocently.  
  
“I guess we can do that, but if you try to take things over like you did when we painted the living room, I’m cutting you off,” Katniss says.  
  
Gales laughs at the threat. “That’s fine. I will let you go, I just wanted to congratulate you. How did Prim take it?”  
  
“Shit, I forgot all about calling Prim! I just remembered Neil’s weird comment from earlier and decided to call him,” Katniss says guiltily.  
  
“I’m sure she won’t mind,” Gale says.  
  
“Okay, I’m going to hang up so I can call her now.” Gale congratulates her one last time before she ends the call, and Katniss wastes no time hitting Prim’s speed dial number and hitting the call button.  
  
“Hey, Katniss.” Prim’s voice instantly brings a smile to Katniss’s face.  
  
“Hey,” Katniss replies easily. “How have you been?”  
  
“Not too bad. Just enjoying the last few days of break,” Prim answers. There’s something in her voice now that is unsettling to Katniss. Prim almost sounds suspicious. Katniss doesn’t call Prim often, preferring to text or send e-mails instead. She usually only calls Prim when something is wrong. “What’s up?”  
  
Peeta comes to sit down next to Katniss on the couch, watching as Katniss takes a deep breath in preparation.  
  
“Peeta and I are engaged,” Katniss spits out hurriedly. This is the first time she’s said it out loud and the words sound foreign as they fall from her lips and hang in the air. The silence on the other end is deafening. Why isn’t Prim saying anything?  
  
“Oh thank goodness he finally asked you!” Prim says, finally. “I was going to explode trying to stay quiet.” Her tone is filled with relief and excitement.  
  
Katniss’s head turns to Peeta quickly, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “What the fuck? Prim knew too?!” Katniss asks, still in disbelief.  
  
“I didn’t say anything to Prim!” Peeta says defensively.  
  
“Oh yes he did!” Prim argues. Her voice grows so loud that Katniss has to pull the phone from her ear. “June 29th, dancing at Gale and Neil’s wedding. He took my hand and spun me around and then said to me ‘I’m going to ask your sister to marry me,’ but then he tried to shush me by putting his finger over his lips and he missed completely -- his finger landed in the middle of his cheek instead. That’s when I realized he was totally trashed, so he probably doesn’t even remember that he told me.”  
  
Katniss’s expression changes from one of disbelief to one of amusement as she shakes her head at Peeta curiously.  
  
“Give me that phone!” Peeta bellows, taking the phone from Katniss’s outstretched hand. “I never told you!” he says to Prim before going silent. Katniss can hear Prim lecturing Peeta despite the phone being tightly wedged between his head and shoulder.  
  
The longer Prim reprises the story of what Peeta did at Gale and Neil’s wedding, the paler Peeta’s face becomes until finally his mouth is shaped into a perfect “O.” and his eyes are full of guilt.  
  
“Whoops,” Peeta says, embarrassed. “That must have been after the Jagerbombs. Sorry, Prim! I’m giving Katniss the phone back now.” He pulls the phone from his ear quickly and shoves it back to Katniss.  
  
Katniss and Peeta both laugh as they hear Prim scream “Congratulations!” loudly into the phone. Peeta yells his thanks back to her as Katniss gets back on the line.  
  
“I’m back,” Katniss says, still laughing.  
  
“Okay,” Prim breathes excitedly. “Tell me everything!”  
  


XX

  
“Come on, Peeta, I’m starving. I’m not waiting for these two to get their burgers before I eat,” Neil says, pushing his chair back and rising from the table. Peeta stands and follows his brother away from the table and in the direction of the small salad bar on the other side of the restaurant.  
  
“Since when does Peeta eat the salad bar?” Gale asks, confused.  
  
“He doesn’t,” Katniss says. “He just likes the pea soup, so he pays for the salad bar, but just eats a ton of soup until he’s so full that he can’t even look at it anymore.” She looks over to where Peeta and Neil stand at the salad bar. Peeta is holding a bowl of soup as he stands at the end of the bar, waiting for Neil to finish up.  
  
Gale laughs at Katniss’s story but quickly stops. He stares at the glass of Coke sitting in front of him, dragging his finger along the condensation that has collected on the outside. “Things have changed a lot, huh?” he asks.  
  
“Yeah,” Katniss nods, meeting his eyes. “Almost beyond recognition.”  
  
“Do you ever wonder if maybe they were always out there waiting for us to find them?” Gale says feebly.  
  
Katniss narrows her eyes at him. She has come to understand a lot of the things Gale says, but this is almost too much. “No, not really,” she admits.  
  
“What are the odds that we’d both meet the person we’re going to marry on the very same night, and how rare is it for them to be brothers?” Gale asks seriously.  
  
“I never really thought about it that way,” Katniss says with a shrug. “I don’t like to believe anyone was ever waiting for me find them, because I was never looking for anyone.”  
  
“You and Peeta are lucky, you know,” Gale points out, rolling a stray bit of his straw’s wrapper between his fingers.  
  
“I’m not following,” Katniss confesses. “What makes us lucky?”  
  
Gale shakes his head, his eyes widening as though he has just realized what his statement sounded like. “I don’t mean you’re lucky because you have someone,” he assures her. “I meant that both of you are lucky to have been able to tackle the issues you have and come out on the other side better because of them.”  
  
“I see,” Katniss says wearily. She still isn’t sure how that makes them lucky, but she is willing to hear Gale out.  
  
“You guys have already had an incredible test and strain on your relationship that you were able to overcome and are still overcoming. Neil and I? We haven’t had that, yet. Not really.” He sighs and glances over in the direction of the salad bar. When he brings his eyes back to Katniss, he looks scared. “I’m not naive enough to believe that there won’t come a day when we almost lose this, or that our relationship won’t be put to the test in some way.”  
  
“What are you saying?” Katniss asks, urging Gale to elaborate.  
  
“I’m saying that I hope when the day comes where my relationship with Neil is put under stress, we can handle it with even half as much support and understanding for each other as I’ve seen between you and Peeta this year,” Gale explains. “Don’t you see? You’ve been tested already, and you are both still here. I think that makes you two the lucky ones.”  
  
Katniss wants to respond. She wants to tell Gale that she does see his point, but Neil and Peeta are walking back. If Gale had wanted them to hear this he wouldn’t have waited until they were gone to speak up. Instead of answering, she nods and smiles at him, hoping that it’s enough to silently tell him that she understands.  
  
Peeta sits back down in his seat next to Katniss and pushes a bowl of pea soup in her direction. “Here, I snuck one for you,” he says with a smile.  
  
“You didn’t sneak me a salad?” Gale asks Neil, offended.  
  
“What?” Neil replies. He looks around the table, his mouth agape. “But you don’t even like salad!”  
  
Gale laughs and reaches a hand out to rub Neil’s shoulder. “I know, I’m just kidding.”  
  
“Neil is the worst at sensing sarcasm,” Peeta whispers to Katniss. “See that face? That’s Neil giving himself an ulcer.”  
  
Gale laughs louder, having heard Peeta’s commentary. “He really is the worst, considering he is the master of sarcasm himself.” He reaches to the middle of the table and grabs a roll from a basket and takes a large bite. “So, what are you guys doing after we get out of here?” he asks while still chewing.  
  
“We’re going to the drive-in a few towns over,” Peeta says.  
  
“A drive-in in the afternoon?” Neil asks. “What’s the fun in that? Everyone can see you in your car, even if you steam up the windows.”  
  
Katniss rolls her eyes at Neil and shakes her head. “Maybe we actually like to watch the movie?”  
  
“That’s not how you do drive-in movies,” Neil scoffs.  
  
“So let’s talk about the wedding,” Gale urges, trying to change the subject.  
  
Katniss and Peeta both groan in unison. They can never go long without Gale or Neil wanting to bring up the wedding.  
  
“You booked the venue already, right?” Gale asks.  
  
Katniss clenches her jaw and counts down from three before answering. “That was the first thing we did,” she replies, annoyed.  
  
“So we are in agreeance then that we want a completely outdoor wedding?” Katniss asks. Her laptop is resting on the arm of the couch as she and Peeta browse through tabs of possible places to book their wedding.  
  
“Yes,” Peeta confirms, looking closer at the screen.  
  
“Just making sure,” Katniss says as she begins to close the tabs they had open with indoor venues.  
  
“And casual,” Peeta adds. “We should have the ceremony, pictures, and reception all at the same place so guests don’t have to go to two different places.”  
  
Katniss nods in agreement and closes even more tabs. “That leaves us with four places, then,” she says. She pulls up the first tab and they are met with a picture of an outdoor chapel. The carefully crafted white structure glows against a backdrop of pine trees, and though it is beautiful, Katniss knows right away that it’s too much for them.  
  
As though echoing her thoughts, Peeta shakes his head. “Too big,” he says. “Our guest list doesn’t require something like that.”  
  
“My thoughts exactly,” Katniss agrees, closing out the tab and moving to the next one. “This one is a garden,” Katniss explains as she points to the picture. Red bricks make up the aisle and at the end a very small pavilion where they would stand during the ceremony.  
  
“It’s nice,” Peeta says waveringly. “Just not what I had in mind.”  
  
“I still think it’s too much,” Katniss says. They have agreed to make things as low key and as casual as they possibly can, and all of the venues they have searched so far have been far too grandiose for what they have in mind.  
  
“Next,” Peeta says with a laugh. “Now I can see why Gale and Neil were so meticulous about everything.”  
  
“This is another garden, but it’s a lot smaller,” Katniss says.  
  
“I like that fountain,” Peeta says, taking in the picture. “Do you think they’d let us get married right there?”  
  
“Why not?” Katniss asks. “We are paying for it, aren’t we?”  
  
“Yeah.” Peeta smiles and nods approvingly at the picture. “Keep that one open, let’s look at the last one.”  
  
“This one is my favorite,” Katniss says. “It’s small, but the way it’s set up I think it would be perfect.” She scrolls down to the picture which looks like it was taken as the sun was setting. Couches and white sand cover the area. Off to one side there is an elegant firepit, and across from it, a small man-made waterfall.  
  
“What about dinner?” Peeta asks. “There doesn’t look like there’s anywhere for people to eat.”  
  
“It’s on the other side,” Katniss explains. She scrolls down to a second picture of a large pavilion with dining tables set up and in the middle, a large dance floor.  
  
“So we can have dinner and dancing there, and mingling on the other side so people don’t have to scream in order to talk,” Peeta says out loud.  
  
“That was my thought, too,” Katniss says excitedly. “I want everyone to be comfortable and forget they’re at a wedding.”  
  
Katniss and Peeta look at each other and immediately they know that they need to visit this one. Every place they have looked at has been nice, but this one just felt right. Peeta nods, but says nothing, and Katniss takes this as his silent approval -- the green light.  
  
“Find the phone number,” Peeta says, pulling his phone from his pocket.  
  
Three days later they are visiting and quickly booking the venue, and at the same time choosing a wedding date of August 9th, 2014, a little less than a year away.  
  
“We sent out the save the date cards last week,” Peeta adds. “You should have gotten yours by now.”  
  
“Oh we got ours. ‘Save the date: August 9th, 2014’” Neil recites. “Did you draw that picture on the card, Peeta?”  
  
“Yeah, did you like it?” Peeta asks. There’s an edge of sarcasm in his voice. He had said Neil was going to bring this up when they sent the cards out.  
  
“Sure, but usually couples put pictures of themselves on the card instead of just cartoon drawings of them,” Neil teases.  
  
“Well Katniss thinks engagement photos are dorky,” Peeta reveals, silencing the whole table.  
  
“I mean, we could have taken some really beautiful shots in the snow like you and Gale did...” Katniss adds.  
  
The table stays silent for a long time until finally, Peeta bursts into laughter. The pictures of Gale and Neil were nice and fit them, but if Neil is going to make fun of them for their approach, Katniss and Peeta are going to tease them, too.  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Peeta says between gasps. “They were very nice pictures.”  
  
Katniss tries to stifle her own laughter, but the longer Gale and Neil stay silent, the less she can hold back and she ends up laughing loudly, burying her face in Peeta’s shoulder to try to silence it.  
  
Thankfully, after a few more seconds Gale and Neil join in on the laughter, too.  
  
“Gale didn’t want to do any of those poses,” Neil admits. “But the photographer made us. He kept saying ‘You do the poses I tell you, and I’ll make them great!’, like he knew what we were comfortable with better than we did.” Gale starts laughing even harder at Neil’s impression of the old man.  
  
“I even got into an argument with him over some of the poses, but we were powerless and he already cashed our check,” Gale shrugs. “That’s why we were so picky with a wedding photographer. The first thing we asked her was if we could veto some of her directions.”  
  
“Let’s be sure not to use that guy for our wedding,” Katniss whispers to Peeta, causing him to get that goofy smile on his face that he does every time Katniss brings it up.  
  
Beyond securing a venue and choosing a date, the planning has been minimal, so far. They both agreed that they would have a very small guest list -- family and close friends only. Everything else is still up in the air.  
  
Their jobs have been very demanding. Not only has Peeta started his new job, but Katniss received another promotion less than two months ago. Between work, therapy, and finding time for each other, wedding planning has been an afterthought.  
  
“You’d better find a photographer soon, they schedule pretty far in advance,” Gale warns.  
  
“I know,” Katniss snaps. She knows Gale and Neil mean well, but it still agitated her at times. “We just haven’t had time to think about it.”  
  
Gale opens his mouth to say something else, but lucky for him the waitress arrives with their burgers. After Peeta and Neil go up for another round of soup and salad, they dig into their meal without another word about the wedding, and Katniss can’t be more relieved.  
  


XX

  
  
The spare room is quiet as Peeta sits on a stool in the corner in front of his easel. Taped to it is a picture of the trees that Katniss took on her hike with Gale and Neil. He has been working on painting it for the last few weeks, and once it is finished they plan to hang it above the new loveseat they bought for the room.  
  
What was once a bare, boring room has become a haven for the two of them. Katniss sits on the brown loveseat with her legs curled under her and her laptop balancing on her thigh as she surfs the web.  
  
“Sorry the movie was shitty,” Peeta says, breaking the comfortable silence that had been filling the room.  
  
“It’s fine, I needed a nap anyway,” Katniss chuckles. “We’ll just have to do a better job of reading up on what movie we’re thinking about seeing next time.”  
  
“That was the worst movie I’ve seen since Battlefield Earth,” Peeta complains.  
  
“I thought you fell asleep?” Katniss says, confused.  
  
“No, I stayed awake to watch it, hoping it’d get better but it never did,” Peeta explains with a sign.  
  
Katniss closes her laptop and looks at Peeta sympathetically. He has been working so hard and is so proud of his new job, he barely has time to sleep lately. Peeta catches Katniss staring at him and he smiles weakly.  
  
“Come here,” Katniss says, stretching her arms out in his direction. Peeta wastes no time putting his paintbrush down in the cup of water in front of him and moving to sit next to Katniss on the loveseat.  
  
Katniss shifts her body, placing her laptop on the arm of the couch and bringing her legs up to sit cross-legged. Gently, she pulls Peeta toward her and kisses his lips gently. “Lie down,” she urges.  
  
Peeta moves his head down to rest in Katniss’s lap and curls up. It’s a tight fit on the loveseat, but Peeta doesn’t seem to mind. The same comfortable silence from earlier falls over the room once again as Katniss resumes using her laptop. One hand moves across the touchpad while the other lightly rakes through Peeta’s hair.  
  
Suddenly, something catches Katniss’s eye and she gasps quietly to herself. Not wanting to disturb Peeta, Katniss sits on the webpage, staring at the screen for several minutes as she listens to Peeta’s even breathing indicating that he has, in fact, fallen asleep.  
  
“Peeta,” Katniss says gently, ruffling his hair with her hand to try to rouse him. “Peeta, look at this.” Peeta groans but lifts his head from Katniss’s lap, blinking several times as he tries to focus his eyes on the screen in front of him. “Do you like that?”  
  
On the screen is a strapless ivory dress.  
  
“It’s beautiful,” Peeta says. “But I think it’d look better on you.”  
  
Katniss smiles at his joke. “I think that’s the one I want.”  
  
“Shouldn’t you try it on first? I’ve seen those TLC shows,” Peeta asks.  
  
“I can order it now and if I don’t like it, I have time to send it back and start over,” Katniss explains. “I really don’t want to do the trying on dresses thing.”  
  
“I didn’t expect you would.” Peeta smiles and looks at the picture again. He squints his eyes a bit as though he’s taking the time to imagine Katniss wearing it. His smile grows wider as he nods, so wide that Katniss fears it’ll get stuck that way. “Do it,” he says, still nodding.  
  
Peeta watches intently as Katniss goes through the ordering process for the dress. Carefully she chooses the size and inputs the address. When she reaches the checkout screen, she moves to get her purse, but Peeta grabs her arms and stops her. He shifts upward and pulls his wallet from his back pocket and takes his debit card from inside.  
  
“Peeta, no,” Katniss begins to argue, but is cut off when Peeta kisses her gently and pushes the card into her hand.  
  
Peeta rests his forehead against hers and sighs. “Please let me do this for you.”  
  
Katniss thinks about it. All of the paintings Peeta has sold and continued to sell because he finally feels confident enough to do it, the way he has dug himself out of debt little by little and has started a job where he doesn’t have to beg strangers to donate money for him to get paid. She nods, understanding.  
  
“But only if you let me buy what you wear,” Katniss says.  
  
Peeta laughs, his breath tickling Katniss’s face. “I think that sounds like a fair deal.”  
  
Katniss pulls away and focuses back on the screen, putting in the required information and checking out.  
  
“Well,” Katniss says with a sigh. “I think I just bought my wedding dress.”  
  
“That was kind of anticlimactic, if I’m being honest,” Peeta jokes.  
  
“I didn’t even hear choirs sing.” Katniss closes her laptop and sets it down on the floor. Peeta moves back to his position in her lap and she resumes running her fingers through his hair. She lets her head fall back onto the couch and she closes her eyes as relaxation begins to wash over her.  
  
Katniss begins to think about how things are beginning to fall into place in ways she never expected them to. It’s not what she would have ever pictured for herself, but at the same time, it feels right.  
  
“How did you know that becoming a teacher was where your heart was?” Katniss asks suddenly, waking Peeta once again.  
  
“What?” Peeta says groggily.  
  
Katniss feels bad for bothering him a second time, but this is something she has to know. “When you decided to become a teacher, how did you know that’s what you wanted?”  
  
“Well, you know I volunteered at the library teaching an art class one summer when I was home from college,” Peeta begins. Katniss nods, remembering the story. “When I was doing that instead of working at the bakery, I would wake up every single day and feel excited about what I was going to do. There was something about the looks on the kids’ faces when they finished a project that made me feel good. Like I had some part in shaping who they would become in some way. Nothing ever felt forced. It always felt right to me and I knew then that I wanted to bring these things into kids’ lives for a long time to come.”  
  
“I thought so,” Katniss says thoughtfully.  
  
Peeta looks at her quizzically. “What do you mean?”  
  
Katniss bites the inside of her cheek. She knows it’s time she talk to Peeta about this. “I’ve been thinking alot lately. Well, longer than lately. Since earlier in the year, really.” She meets Peeta’s eyes and he raises his eyebrows slightly, waiting for her to finish. “I’ve been thinking about maybe going back to school.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Peeta asks immediately.  
  
“I didn’t want to say something that could potentially become empty words. I wanted to know for sure that this was what I wanted before I dragged you into it,” Katniss tries to explain. She knows there is no excuse for not saying anything to Peeta.  
  
Peeta nods and doesn’t press the issue. “What are you thinking about doing?”  
  
“Hang on a second,” Katniss says. She gets up from the loveseat and disappears out the door, returning moments later with papers in her hand. She sits back down and hands them to Peeta. “Prim brought these pamphlets to me back in April when she met us at the park. It’s information on distance learning opportunities where she goes to school. I had been looking it up online, but I wanted information that I could hold. It made it real, to me. That probably sounds stupid.”  
  
“It doesn’t,” Peeta shakes his head and looks through the pamphlets Katniss has handed him. “Music therapy?”  
  
“Yeah.” Peeta looks at Katniss, waiting for her to elaborate. “I saw how much simply singing to you helps you, and that’s only the beginning of it. I thought about all of the people I could help and all of the different ways I could help them if i did this. I want to give others the chance to heal, because we wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for the chances we were given.”  
  
Peeta smiles at her and looks back down at the pamphlets. “I think this sounds great, Katniss.”  
  
“So you support me with this?” Katniss asks.  
  
“As long as this is what you really want, of course I do,” Peeta replies. “You’ll have to interact with a lot of people every day, are you ready for that?”  
  
“I’m never ready for that,” Katniss laughs. “But if it’s with the intention of helping them, I can do it.”  
  
“When did you want to start?”  
  
“I thought about starting this spring. I could get my bachelors degree while still working where I am now,” Katniss explains.  
  
“Starting school, working full time, and planning a wedding?” Peeta points out. “I’m not trying to discourage you, I’m just being realistic.”  
  
“I know,” Katniss counters. “I thought about that, but why wait? The sooner I start, the sooner I finish and then we can figure out what to do when I have to start my internship.”  
  
Peeta chews on his lip. Katniss can tell that this was only going to make their suddenly busy lives even busier, but he doesn’t argue. “We’ll make it work.”  
  
“I can even go for my masters online if I wanted to later,” Katniss says.  
  
“That’s pretty ambitious,” Peeta laughs. He smiles and nods in the direction of the pamphlets.  
  
Katniss lets out a sigh of relief. She has been keeping that a secret for so long. She didn’t even tell Prim exactly why she wanted the pamphlets, and Prim knew not to ask. Now that she has told Peeta, she feels so much better. His support was what she needed to make this decision once and for all, and his vow to make it work between both of their jobs, planning a wedding, and then an impending internship makes things a little less scary.  
  
She removes the pamphlets from Peeta’s hands and sets them down on top of her laptop. She moves back and finds Peeta’s lips, kissing him deeply trying to convey every last thank you for everything. The love, the support, and the faith he has in her that she can do this -- that they can do it.  
  
  
  



	17. The Double Knot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We have reached the end of "Speed Date". I just wanted to take a second thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for reading this story, giving kudos, reviewing, and adding it to your bookmarks. When I started writing fanfiction last April I had no intentions of ever writing an entire story, let alone an AU story, so to be in a position where I've not only written one, but completed it is pretty big for me.

The strong breeze brings the smell of burning charcoal across the picnic table where Katniss sits, smoothing the page of her notebook down when the breeze threatens to take it away. As the air around her calms, she sighs loudly and pushes her hair away from her eyes before attempting to concentrate on the page in front of her.  
  
“How’s the studying going, Katniss?” Neil asks, plopping himself down on the seat across from her.  
  
“Done,” Katniss remarks. She taps the top of her textbook with her pen and then looks down at the notebook page in front of her. There are words scrawled on the page that look as though they were written with the wrong hand, and large sections of black ink appear between the words having been scratched out in frustration. “I’m trying to work on my vows.”  
  
“Ooh,” Neil says quietly. “What do you have so far?”  
  
“Nothing,” Katniss answers sharply. “Remind me again why I thought it would be a good idea to write vows?”  
  
Neil looks at Katniss sympathetically, but she looks away, irritated by the way he is looking at her with pity. Her eyes sweep across the park and land on Gale across the grass, tossing a football with Spencer while talking loudly so Spencer can hear him. Peeta is off to the side, sitting on a blanket with Naomi and Sadie, who is now ten months old. Peeta and Naomi talk busily while Sadie holds onto Peeta’s fingers and stands on the blanket.  
  
It has been six months since Neil and Spencer had their talk. To this day, neither one of them will tell anyone what was said, but it seems to have done them a lot of good. Peeta has commented on several occasions that for the first time in his life, it feels like the three of them are really brothers -- a team.  
  
“I don’t know,” Neil cuts in, causing Katniss to whip her head back around to meet Neil’s gaze. “I think I remember you telling us something about wanting this whole wedding to be specific to you and Peeta, and _only_ you and Peeta instead of based on old traditions. Does that sound familiar?”  
  
Katniss groans and drops her head into her hands, remembering that day. It made so much more sense back then, but now it just feels silly. She wonders if it’s too late to change her mind, but then remembers that Peeta already finished his vows.  
  
Neil grabs Katniss’s notebook before she can protest  and begins to read what little she has written that has not been scratched out.  
  
“I probably won’t use any of that, I was just jotting down ideas,” Katniss lies. She can feel her cheeks and neck heat up as Neil’s eyebrows furrow while he reads the words. “I wish I had a gift with words like Peeta does. He finished his weeks ago.”  
  
Neil looks up from the page, his expression unreadable. “ _You make me want to be a better person_? Isn’t that a line from _As Good as It Gets_?”  
  
“What? No!” Katniss says defensively, just as Jack Nicholson’s voice begins echoing through her head, and all at once she realizes that Neil is right. “Okay, maybe it is... a little. I don’t know what to say, though!”  
  
Neil gives her a stern look and shakes his head disapprovingly. “You two wanted to write your own vows so you can do it _your_ way, right?” Katniss nods quickly, deciding not to argue. “This doesn’t sound like you. Speak from your heart, Katniss.” He turns to a fresh page and sets the notebook back in front of Katniss. “It doesn’t matter how you say it, but tell him what’s in here,” he says, pointing to his heart. “No matter what it may be.”  
  
“Thanks,” Katniss says as she watches Neil rise from the table.  
  
“You’re welcome,” Neil smirks. He taps the top of the table with the palm of his hand and begins to walk away, but stops mid-step and turns back around. “And for the record, Peeta isn’t done with his, either.”  
  
Katniss stares blankly at the back of Neil’s head as he walks away from the picnic table and back over to the blanket with Peeta and Naomi. He plucks Sadie up and lifts her high into the air over his head before bringing her back down and blowing raspberries on her stomach.  
  
Peeta _wasn’t_ done with his vows. The more she thought about it the more she realized that she had only assumed he was done. In fact, he never did tell her that he had finished writing them, she just suddenly didn’t see him writing them anymore and took it to mean that he was finished.  
  
Katniss lets out an angry puff of air and turns back to her notebook. The fresh, white page stares back at her tauntingly. She hovers her pen over the page for a second before closing her eyes and pulling the first word that comes to her mind: _Risk_.  
  
She underlines it twice and then moves to the next line, writing quickly while taking in the sounds around her. She can hear Sadie’s laughter as Neil runs with her, making a revving motor sound with his mouth. Naomi calls out for him to be careful, because Sadie just ate. Peeta’s laughter cuts through the air and then his voice is calling out encouragingly for Sadie to puke on Uncle Neil. Katniss laughs to herself and tunes her ears to the muffled sounds of Gale and Spencer’s voices across the lawn and suddenly, the words are pouring from her pen, covering the once blank page in black ink and curling it under the pressure of her hand.

XX

  
The day that Katniss told her father that she wouldn’t be walking down the aisle, he wasn’t angry. Truth be told, there wouldn’t be an aisle for them to walk down in the first place.  
  
His response to Katniss’s revelation that day was a simple nod before he confessed that he somehow expected that Katniss would try to break away from traditions, but he supported her decision as he always had.  
  
Not long after that day, however, Joe called and told Katniss that if he couldn’t walk her down the aisle, he at least wanted to bring Katniss to the ceremony. Katniss talked to Peeta about it and he liked the idea and coaxed Katniss into agreeing, though the guilt Katniss felt denying her father the chance to walk her down the aisle was enough to get her to agree, even without Peeta’s urging.  
  
Joe’s approach was unexpected. A few days after his original request to bring them to the venue, he called again and informed Katniss that he would be renting a luxury car for the day and picking her and Peeta up at the apartment so he could escort them to the venue.  
  
Katniss tried to tell him not to go through all of that. His presence for her wedding day was all she needed, but he insisted, stating that he wanted to give his little girl the grandest entry that she would allow. Finally, Katniss relented and agreed.  
  
And now here Katniss and Peeta are, sitting in the backseat of the rented black Cadillac CTS, their hands linked together tightly as they rest in Peeta’s lap.  
  
Katniss catches her father’s eyes in the rearview mirror and he smiles at her. “Are you nervous yet?” he asks.  
  
“Getting there,” Katniss replies meekly.  
  
Peeta squeezes her hand. “Don’t be nervous,” he murmurs, resting his forehead against the side of Katniss’s head. “I’ll be by your side the whole time.” The car pulls up to the venue and Peeta quickly drops Katniss’s hand and begins to slide out of the car.  
  
“You should let your dad help you out of the car, though. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side,” Peeta winks at her and exits out of the back passenger door, and suddenly Katniss understands what Peeta is trying to do.  
  
The door to her left opens and she sees her father crouched over and peering in at her. His smile is large as he extends his hand toward his daughter. “Are you ready?” he asks gently.  
  
Katniss knows her answer: _To see everyone? No. To marry Peeta? Yes._ She takes her father’s hand and scoots across the seat, smoothing her dress down after she stands.  
  
Joe pushes a strand of hair out of Katniss’s eyes and smiles at her. “I love seeing you so happy, so sure. You have a good man here.” He turns to Peeta and shakes his hand exuberantly. “You can take it from here.”  
  
Peeta offers Katniss his hand and she smiles at her father as she laces her fingers through Peeta’s. He may not be able to walk her down the aisle, but she can tell that his involvement today has made him happier than he will admit. It reminds Katniss of herself, and her smile grows wider at the realization.  
  
“Make sure you say hello to your sister when you get in there,” Joe says. “She was really mad that I wouldn’t let her drive with me.”  
  
“I will find her,” Katniss says with a laugh before beginning to walk toward the venue, hand-in-hand with Peeta.

XX

  
Katniss and Peeta spot Gale and Neil first, wildly waving their arms above their heads to get their attention. Katniss adjusts her grip on Peeta’s hand as they make their way through everyone to get to them. She can hear light whispering as their guests start to notice that she and Peeta have arrived.  
  
As they walk, Katniss scans the area and finds Prim and her mother sitting comfortably on one of the couches on the sandy side of the venue. Prim waves enthusiastically at Katniss and Peeta, and they return the gesture happily before Katniss puts her finger up to Prim, indicating that they’ll be back around to talk to her and their mother.  
  
Neil and Gale finally stop waving when Katniss and Peeta approach them. They each have a martini in their hand and look sharp in their light khaki colored suits that match Peeta’s pants.  
  
“Cocktail hour and dinner _before_ the ceremony was probably the best idea ever,” Neil compliments. “Next time I get married, that’s what I’m doing.”  
  
“What?” Gale asks, bewildered.  
  
Neil laughs and shakes his head, bringing his hand to rest on Gale’s shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m kidding. And you guys say I’m the worst at sensing sarcasm.”  
  
Despite the lighthearted conversation, once Katniss spots the photographer off to the side snapping pictures of her and Peeta, the nervousness begins to reach the breaking point. Walking in and seeing everyone, no matter how small their guest list is, is beginning to intimidate her, but she smiles at Gale and Neil, chuckling nervously.  
  
“I really thought you were joking with me when you told me that you were wearing this,” Neil says, eyeing Peeta’s outfit choice. Katniss turns her head to look at Peeta as he shrugs his shoulders and laughs.  
  
They decided together that he should wear a Hawaiian shirt to the wedding and Katniss bought it special just for today. White on white with black buttons, and light khaki pants -- it is comfortable but sharp.  
  
“I wasn’t joking,” Peeta says, pushing his hair out of his eyes with the hand that still clutches Katniss’s.  
  
“I like it,” Katniss says smiling.  
  
“You always did.” Neil shakes his head once more. “You guys look great.”  
  
They begin to turn and head back to where Prim and Abby sit, but suddenly, Peeta stops and looks back to Gale and Neil. “Wait,” he says, pulling Katniss back. “We haven’t gotten to talk to you guys in a few days so I didn’t get to ask you, did you guys get those papers filed?”  
  
Gale and Neil look at each other and their faces break out into large grins before they look back to Katniss and Peeta and nod.  
  
“We met with the agency on Thursday and turned in the paperwork,” Gale explains.  
  
“Wow,” Katniss says, almost stunned. “So you guys are adopting a baby...”  
  
“Eventually,” Neil corrects her. “For now, we wait.”  
  
“Well enjoy yourselves tonight, might as well do it before the craziness begins,” Peeta says, extending his free hand to Neil and then Gale. “Congratulations.”  
  
They head back to Prim and Abby, and as they make their way toward the couch, Katniss notices that her father has now joined them. Katniss and Peeta let go of each other’s hands only briefly so that they can hug Prim and Abby.  
  
Abby takes in the sight of her daughter and immediately begins to blubber and coo over how beautiful she looks. It is doing nothing to calm Katniss’s nerves, but the sight of Prim standing behind Abby making faces helps a little.  
  
“How is school going, Katniss?” Abby asks.  
  
School. She didn’t want to talk about school today, but she knew this question was coming, and it probably won’t be the only time she hears it today. “Not so bad. I’m on a short break right now before fall semester begins in a couple weeks. I’m just waiting for grades from the summer sessions to post. I think I did well, though.” She had practiced that over and over again in the days leading to the wedding, and it’s what she will continue to tell everyone that asks her.  
  
She really is doing well in school. Great, even, but she did not want to talk about it on her wedding day. Her first semester was tough between getting in the swing of being in school in addition to working full time and planning the rest of the wedding, but she and Peeta made it work. It went so well that she decided to knock a couple classes off of her list by doing summer sessions as well. At this point she has settled into a comfortable routine that Peeta helps her with every step of the way.  
  
“You guys did an awesome job,” Prim says, changing the subject. “I mean, couches instead of those uncomfortable chairs? This is great!”  
  
After Peeta asks three times if they are comfortable and enjoying themselves, they finally tear themselves away to continue greeting their guests. They move to Peeta’s family next, spotting Colin and Bev standing and talking to Spencer and Naomi.  
  
Naomi holds twelve month old Sadie, who is fidgeting and trying to break free, in her arms.  
“Don’t drop my niece,” Peeta says, getting everyone’s attention. Sadie squeals delightfully and squirms even more at the sight of Peeta. Katniss nods to him and lets go of his hand just in time for Peeta to put his arms out to Sadie as she practically throws herself into them.  
  
Sadie is dressed in a sleeveless white dress, while a white headband is wrapped around her head just above the light blonde hair that has begun to curl at the nape of her neck.  
  
Peeta greets Sadie warmly and plants a soft kiss on her tiny cheek. “Thanks for coming, everyone,” he says, not taking his eyes off Sadie.  
  
Colin is beaming at Katniss and Peeta while Bev is a bit more subdued. She doesn’t look angry, or even particularly cold, but her expression is unreadable. She looks as though she wants to say something. Peeta seems to notice the same thing as he is now starting right at her.  
  
“You look very nice, Mom,” Peeta compliments. Katniss suspects that this is simply his way of getting her to say whatever it is that she feels that she needs to say, but Bev doesn’t seem to notice.  
  
“Thanks,” Bev replies, sounding a bit caught off guard. Her eyes fall to Katniss’s dress and she braces herself for whatever abrasive comment Bev is about to make. “Where did you get your dress, Katniss?”  
  
“I found it online, actually,” Katniss says, knowing that this will be the answer that gets the remark. “I’m not one for dress shopping.”  
  
Bev nods. “It’s a very nice dress. You look like you fit right in out here in the sand,” she says, finally pulling her eyes from Katniss’s dress and bringing them to Peeta’s outfit. “You both do.”  
  
The shock is palpable among the entire group and Bev, sensing this, speaks again. “The ceremony is at sunset, correct?” she questions.  
  
“That’s right,” Peeta confirms.  
  
“After dinner?”  
  
“Just like the invitation said,” Peeta says, his tone slightly biting.  
  
“A little backwards...” Bev’s tone isn’t entirely condescending, but Katniss can tell that she wants to go there.  
  
“I know. Because that’s what _we_ wanted, Mom,” Peeta says confidently, grabbing hold of Katniss’s hand while holding Sadie with his left arm.  
  
Katniss can see the realization flash over Bev’s face as though she remembers that day at the bakery over a year ago, as well as the constant reminders from Peeta telling her that he no longer cares what she thinks of his choices.  
  
After that day at the bakery, there were several more encounters with Bev where Peeta made it clear that he was not going to let her push him around or make him feel bad for the choices he makes. Little by little, Bev has been less harsh when talking to him, but she still has moments where she falls into her old habits. Luckily, Peeta’s confidence has grown by leaps and bounds since Katniss first met him, and he never hesitates to remind Bev that his life is his, not hers.  
  
As the afternoon wears on, Katniss and Peeta make their way through to each guest, having brief but meaningful conversations with everyone. Delly looks so happy to see them and almost crushes Katniss with the force of her hug. Katniss understands Delly’s happiness. There were times when she probably wasn’t sure Peeta would ever see this day. Delly grabs Thom’s hand and smiles widely at the bride and groom, telling them time and time again how happy she is to have been invited to share this day with them before they are finally able to sneak off to greet others.  
  
Katniss and Peeta walk around, keeping their hands tightly linked together, supporting each other, and dropping them only to give hugs or handshakes to everyone they are greeting. Katniss begins to feel the nervousness dissipate with each person they talk to.  
  
All at once she is extremely glad that they decided not to have a grand entrance or wait to see their guests until the ceremony began. This makes more sense for her and Peeta. There would have been no time for them to get their bearings and work up their nerve to get through the ceremony without messing up something or stumbling over words and embarrassing themselves if they hadn’t done this. 

XX

  
Katniss and Peeta sit at the center of the head table under the large, white pavilion where dinner and dancing will be held. Neil is at Peeta’s side while Gale and Prim are at Katniss’s. The guest tables are situated in a half circle around the large dance floor in the center. Everything is pristine and white, with simple black sashes tied around each chair.  
  
After the Caesar salads have been distributed, Peeta grabs the microphone from the DJ and calmly asks for everyone’s attention. As the guests begin to quiet, Katniss hoists herself up to stand next to Peeta. She has no plans to speak, but she still wants to support Peeta’s words so everyone knows how grateful she is to all of them.  
  
“First of all, I wanted to thank all of you for coming today. We wanted to make this a very small affair with only the people who are closest to us, so to see you all here supporting us tonight really means a lot to both of us. I think Gale has a few words to say before he will allow any of you to eat, so I’m going to let him talk, thank you all again,” Peeta says, handing the mic over to Gale who immediately brings it to his mouth and clears his throat before he speaks.  
  
“Thanks everyone for letting me talk,” Gale begins. “I am sure you’re all very anxious to start eating, but you had to be expecting this. These two did an amazing job with their planning, don’t you think?” The guests begin to clap, and Spencer catcalls from his seat, causing Katniss and Peeta to smile at each other. “They worked very hard to reflect what they wanted their day to be, so even if it isn’t the way a wedding traditionally goes, know that it was done that way because these two crazy kids wanted it to be that way.” Katniss rolls her eyes at Gale, but can’t hold back the smile at how happy he sounds.  
  
“When I got married a little over a year ago, Katniss made a speech that I know I won’t be able to ever top, and it would only be an embarrassment to me if I even tried. All I want to say right now is this,” Gale takes a deep breath and looks at Katniss. “Let’s marry them, then we can be related.” Everyone begins to laugh, but nobody is laughing harder than Gale, Katniss, Neil, and Peeta. Swiping a hand over his face, Gale continues. “Peeta, even though I was too stupid to see how happy you made Katniss at first, I take all of that back now. I can’t imagine a more perfect match for my best friend. I love you both very much and I wish you every last bit of happiness you have worked so hard far.”  
  
As Gale falls back into his seat, he hands the microphone across the table to Neil who stands up abruptly and brings it to his mouth. “I see you chewing Spencer!” he yells. “Give us a few more minutes, man. We’re almost done.” The laughter grows louder around the pavilion and Neil stills, waiting for everyone to calm down. “I’m actually joking, you guys can eat if you want, but I do have some things to say and I’m pretty sure that Prim does, too.”  
  
Prim stands up and Neil puts the mic to her mouth. “I don’t have much to say, I’m not a speech giver,” Prim begins nervously. “I just wanted to wish my sister and Peeta the best. I knew just from the sound of her voice the day she first told me about Peeta that we’d be here one day, so the day Peeta drunkenly told me he was going to propose to my sister was one I’d been expecting, even if he doesn’t remember it.” Prim sits back down quickly amidst another round of laughter, and Neil brings the microphone back to his mouth.  
  
The sound of forks hitting plates is evident as the laughter once again subsides and Neil nods at everyone, looking satisfied. “Good, good, eat up! Enjoy this food, you wouldn’t believe the trouble they went through deciding what to serve all of you.” He flashes a charismatic smile to everyone quickly before growing serious. “The first time I met Katniss, I mean really met Katniss, I really had this feeling that she might be someone that would be good for my brother.  
  
“That said, I did have to maintain my distance early on. I still had a little brother to protect. I needed to be sure, you know, but little by little, the more time I spent with her and saw the way she and Peeta interacted, even when things were tough, it was special. Every moment I spent with both of them was like peeling off another layer revealing more and more of how truly beautiful Katniss is, inside and out.    
  
“Peeta, you are the strongest person that I know and though I probably have never told you before, I want to tell you now... you inspire me every single day. You have a girl here that is protective, loving, and as genuine as they come and I’m so glad that you’re the one who gets to reap all of the benefits of her big heart. It couldn’t have happened to a better person.” Neil’s lips quirk up into a proud smile. “One last thing, Katniss. Since you said it to me, I will say it to you... take care of my best friend and I will take care of yours.”  
  
As everyone begins to applaud, Neil passes the microphone back to the DJ and sits down, stabbing at his salad and shoving the leafy greens into his mouth without looking at anyone.  
  
Katniss looks at Peeta and the floored expression on his face probably matches her own. She did not know what she expected from Neil’s speech, but for some reason, that wasn’t it. It was taking every ounce of willpower not to jump across the table and hug him for saying what he did. For now, she is going to have to be content with nodding at Neil and mouthing the words _thank you_ after Peeta puts his arm around Neil’s shoulder and pulls him into a hug. 

XX

  
All of the guests have found a place to sit amongst the couches as nightfall begins to engulf and darken the area. Everything is being illuminated by dimmed lights and the glowing fire pit that sits on a large circular platform at the front.  
  
The lineup mimics the way they sat at the dinner table: Katniss, Gale, and Prim stand on one side of the fire pit while Peeta and Neil stand on the other. Gale and Neil hold the rings, just as Katniss and Peeta did for them at their wedding, and even though Katniss feels bad that the wedding is so low key that she did not have anything special for Prim to do, Prim is happy to simply be included and stands happily at her sister’s side, smiling widely.  
  
Everyone stands on an angle so that the fire can still be seen between Katniss and Peeta as Cinna, the wedding’s officiant, clears his throat to call attention to everyone and indicate that ceremony is about to begin. Things begin quietly and without fanfare or music. Cinna welcomes everyone and thanks them for coming to witness Katniss and Peeta’s wedding, and just as Portia did for Gale and Neil, Cinna shares a few stories about the bride and groom.  
  
As Cinna speaks and the crowd listens, Katniss lets her mind drift to the last two years of her life with the man standing in front of her. The difference in him is astounding. The way he stands before her confidently with a smile on his face that she knows won’t be going anywhere anytime soon is vastly different from the way he stood at her door, shoulders slumped and head downcast the day he picked her up for brunch.  
  
The nerves Katniss felt earlier begin to return as the time for her to speak draws nearer. Peeta seems to notice this, because she can see his arm move as though he wants to reach out to her. Cinna stops talking as his eyes flick down to the movement and Peeta looks at him sheepishly.  
  
“I’m sorry, but... can I hold her hand?” Peeta asks, causing everyone to laugh.  
  
“Of course,” Cinna replies with a smile.  
  
Peeta reaches out and takes Katniss’s hand, squeezing it in his own tightly. “Don’t let me go of me,” he whispers.  
  
As Cinna turns to ask Gale and Neil for the rings, Katniss takes a deep breath, going over the vows she has committed to memory, hoping that her nerves won’t cause her to draw a blank. Cinna announcing that she and Peeta have decided to write their own vows breaks her from her thoughts and she looks at him, scared. He nods gently, coaxing her to begin.  
  
Katniss steadies herself the best that she can, looks at Peeta, and begins. “Before I met you, I never took a single risk in my life. I did everything that I could to protect myself from getting hurt by people. I was an expert at running away and a novice at going after what I wanted... and then you came into my life.  
  
“I started taking risks that first night simply by agreeing to take that walk with you, and then I took another by admitting to myself that I did not want the night to end. Eventually, I found myself takings risks by telling you things I’ve never told anyone else before and allowing you to work your way inside my heart and rooting yourself there, and by admitting that I am in love with you. The biggest risk of all was realizing that I was all right with the idea that I would do anything that I could to protect you, and doing just that from that day forward.  
  
“We were given reasons to carry on from unlikely sources sometimes, and we did it.” Katniss does everything in her power not to look over to Bev, choosing instead to squeeze Peeta’s hand to remind her what she is supposed to be doing. “All of the ways I have had to make myself vulnerable for this to work have been worth it. You have been worth every single risk I have taken these last two years, and even on days when it feels like we’ve taken a step backward, I know that I am exactly where I want to be, always.”  
  
Quietly, Cinna turns his attention to Peeta and nods, indicating it’s his turn to recite his vows.  
  
Peeta squeezes Katniss’s hand so hard that she feels as though all of the blood has stopped moving through it. She tries to squeeze back but is unable to move at all. Just as she is about to ask him to ease up, he releases the pressure and begins to speak.  
  
“I rewrote my vows at least a dozen times. Each time I started it off simply by saying that I wished I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever, but each time I finished and thought what I had was it, I was unhappy with it. It wasn’t until I realized one very important thing that I understood why the vows weren’t working: I don’t want to freeze this moment and live in it forever.  
  
“At first I thought it would be the perfect life to be able to see you smiling like this forever. I wanted to see that light that your eyes seem to get in them, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to freeze anything, because what good would come from that?  
  
“I’d miss so many other smiles, laughs, eye rolls when I crack a joke with a bad pun in it, and I’d even miss the tears that you so desperately try to hide. I want to experience everything with you, the good and the bad. Every new smile and laugh, every scowl, eyeroll, and tear, I will be there, because I see now that love isn’t just about the smiles, but rather is about everything, and what makes us strong is the way we grow as a result.  
  
“Freezing one good moment won’t keep us together. Allowing ourselves to live life and grow old together will, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.”  
  
As Katniss takes in everything Peeta just said, Cinna takes over once more, stating that their rings do not have an end, and that they symbolize the ceaseless love that Katniss and Peeta share. Katniss is still so entranced by Peeta’s words, that she almost doesn’t hear Cinna declare that it is time to exchange rings.  
  
Without words, Katniss carefully slips the platinum wedding band over Peeta’s knuckle and smiles at him, feeling her heart begin to beat so hard she fears it may fly straight out of her chest, and as Peeta sets the wedding band on her finger, nestling it against her engagement ring, he lifts her hand to his lips and places a gentle kiss on her ring finger.  
  
The feeling of Peeta’s lips linger on Katniss’s finger as Cinna closes up the ceremony by declaring Katniss and Peeta husband and wife. Their kiss is tender and sweet. Peeta places his hand on Katniss’s jaw and gently tilts her head up to meet his mouth -- they smile against each other’s lips when they hear everyone begin to applaud.  
  
Cinna’s final words are short and sweet, introducing the newlyweds to their guests as _Katniss and Peeta Mellark_ for the very first time.  
  
Relief floods through Katniss’s body. They did it, and the best part about it is that nothing feels any different. They’re still Katniss and Peeta as they always have been, and the declaration of marriage has done nothing to alter either of them. Everything feels as though it is fitting perfectly with the way they wanted their day to go. Their terms, their wedding, their love, and nobody was going to change that about them.  
  
Now, they were free to celebrate and have fun with their guests. 

XX

  
“That Delly can dance to anything, can’t she?” Gale asks. He leans against the sturdy leg of the pavilion and laughs at the sight of Delly in the middle of the dance floor, dancing to a song that she clearly requested.  
  
“She even dances when there’s no music,” Thom confirms, draining the last of his beer from the bottle. “I better go out there and dance with her or I’ll never heard the end of it.”  
  
As Thom walks aways from the group to join Delly on the dance floor, Neil scoots over closer to Peeta. “I’ve met them before, right?” he asks.  
  
“Yeah,” Peeta nods. “One of the times you came to visit me when I was in college. Then you called me after you left to tell me that you thought Thom was hot.”  
  
“Oh yeah,” Neil chuckles. “I knew he looked familiar.”  
  
“He kind of looks like you, Gale,” Katniss observes, laughing at the similarities between the two men.  
  
“Awe,” Peeta croons, playfully. “Neil has a type.”  
  
“Simmer down over there,” Neil retorts. “Katniss and Gale look like they could be brother and sister sometimes.”  
  
“Would you date me, Neil?” Katniss asks, taking a sip from her drink. Peeta lets out a bellowing laugh at the question, and looks to Neil, waiting for his answer.  
  
“Am I even allowed to answer that considering you’re now basically my sister?” Neil says in attempts to avoid the question.  
  
Gale laughs before setting his chin down on Neil’s shoulder and looking at Peeta and Katniss. “You’ve made him uncomfortable, I hope you’re happy.”  
  
“Very,” Katniss and Peeta reply in unison.  
  
“Hey.” Gale nudges Neil’s head with his own to get his attention. “I dare you to go up to the DJ and request _Wake Me Up_ by _Wham!_ ”  
  
Katniss watches Neil’s face contort into the biggest cringe she has ever seen before he turns his head abruptly, forcing Gale’s head off his shoulder. They stare each other down for a minute until Neil leans in and presses a kiss to Gale’s lips. “Fine,” he says with a smile. “I’ll do it, but only because I know you love it so much.”  
  
“I do not love it!” Gale yells at Neil’s form that is now walking confidently in the direction of the DJ.  
  
Neil looks over his shoulder and smirks. “I’ve seen your iPod playlist!” he yells back.  
  
Katniss can’t help but laugh at the exchange, feeling grateful for the small guest list for the evening. When most couples would still be making their rounds to talk to their guests, Katniss and Peeta were already finished and now the rest of the night is theirs.  
  
The smile on Neil’s face when he returns is wide and unyielding. “I did it,” he says confidently. “Now Gale has to go dance to it when it comes on.”  
  
“No way,” Gale scoffs. “This is my dare, you can’t dare back.”  
  
“Says who?” Neil retorts  
  
“Says everyone that has ever given a dare before.” Gale crosses his arms, refusing to budge.  
  
Gale and Neil go back and forth every so often for the next few minutes, and when the song comes on Neil continues to urge Gale to go out to the dance floor, but Gale won’t agree. Katniss knows that it’s hopeless to get Gale to agree to anything when he has his mind set, but it doesn’t stop Neil from trying.  
  
“Fuck it,” Peeta says throwing his arms in the air. “I’ll do it, but I need a partner.” He looks at Katniss but she immediately shakes her head. She loves Peeta, but there is no way she was going to go out there and dance to this song. Peeta huffs and looks around the area quickly, smiling at himself and walking off quickly.  
  
Katniss, Gale, and Neil watch as Peeta makes his way toward the table the Mellarks and Everdeens are sharing. He sets his beer down and starts talking to his mother who is holding Sadie in her arms.  
  
To their surprise, Peeta and Bev start laughing together and Bev quickly hands Sadie over to Peeta. They can’t hear him, but Peeta says something to Sadie before she starts squirming a little. Then he walks with her out to the dance floor. Sadie’s tiny hand is nestled in Peeta’s larger one, while his other hand rests on her back as he spins her around the middle of the dance floor. They can see Sadie laughing from across the room.  
  
The warmth that spreads through Katniss’s body as she watches Peeta dance with Sadie is overwhelming, and before she realizes it, she’s setting her own drink down on the empty table in front of them. “To Hell with dignity,” she says as she marches out to the dance floor to be with Peeta and Sadie.  
  
Katniss waves to Peeta when she reaches them, and he smiles widely at her presence.  
  
“Want a turn?” Peeta asks. With Katniss’s nod, Peeta hands Sadie to Katniss. She emulates Peeta’s motions, placing her hand on the toddler’s back and grabbing her hand before beginning to dance around with Sadie, who is still laughing.  
  
Katniss’s eyes meet Bev’s from across the dance floor briefly, and she is taken aback when she notices that Bev is actually smiling at them. While it’s not a particularly large smile, and could maybe even be considered more of a smirk, it’s there and despite making eye contact with Katniss, Bev is making no attempts to hide it.  
  
Peeta is missing when Katniss turns around, but she quickly spots him talking to the DJ, nodding his head animatedly before shaking his hand and making his way back to the dance floor. He smiles innocently at Katniss when he reaches her and places his hand on her back as the song finally ends and is immediately replaced by another uptempo song. Katniss continues to move to the music, but Sadie has begun to rub her eyes tiredly.  
  
“Someone looks tired,” Peeta says just loud enough to be heard just before Katniss feels a light tapping on her shoulder. She turns around and is face to face with Bev.  
  
“May I?” Bev asks, pointing to Sadie.  
  
“Sure,” Katniss says with a nod, handing the tired Sadie over to her grandmother.  
  
As if they hadn’t been surprised enough for one day, rather than taking Sadie back to the table, Bev begins to move to the music, mimicking the movements that Peeta and Katniss had been doing. They hear Bev ask Sadie if she likes to dance, but Sadie has already set her head down on Bev’s shoulder, her eyelids quickly drooping lower and lower. Katniss looks to Peeta and sees him smiling at the scene.  
  
Unlike Neil, Peeta doesn’t want to dance with his mother. It was never a concern to him and Katniss suspects that Peeta’s therapy with Dr. Aurelius is what helped bring Peeta to this decision.  
  
Peeta and Katniss begin dancing to the song, and Bev stays out on the dance floor the entire time, though she moves slower than everyone else, using the rhythm to lull Sadie to sleep.  
  
When the next song begins, Katniss knows what it is immediately. She looks up just in time to see Peeta close the space between them and put his hand out to her. “Dance with me,” he says.  
  
Katniss smirks at him. “To _this_ song?” she says, taking his hand.  
  
Peeta pulls Katniss even closer to him, their bodies flush as they begin to sway to the sounds of _For Me This is Heaven_ by _Jimmy Eat World_. “Sure, why not?” Peeta asks.  
  
“It’s not much of a dancing song,” Katniss replies, watching Peeta’s smile reach his eyes at the realization that she remembers their conversation from the night they first danced to this song.  
  
“Who cares?” Peeta says calmly.  
  
“Not me.” Katniss rests her head in the crook of Peeta’s neck and neither of them say another word.  
  
As the song ends and fades into an even slower one, Katniss and Peeta continue to dance. Katniss notices that Bev has left the dance floor, and is now back at the table talking to Abby while holding Sadie who is asleep on her shoulder. She also notices that Joe and Colin seem to be wrapped up in a conversation of their own and she smiles at the feeling of calm that washes over her.  
  
“May I cut in?” Gale’s voice rings out behind Katniss and Peeta pulls back, looking at Gale with a smile.  
  
“Sure,” Peeta says, letting go of Katniss. She spins around and grabs Gale’s hand, moving in close.  
  
“So,” Gale begins, moving in time with the melody. “You’re someone’s wife now.”  
  
“And you’re going to be someone’s dad, soon,” Katniss adds.  
  
“Crazy, isn’t it?” Gale laughs. “And look at your sister. She’s dancing with my brother again.”  
  
Katniss looks around the dance floor and spots Prim and Rory slow dancing not far from them. Katniss knows that Prim and Rory have been in contact over the last year, but Prim has been very tight lipped on what is going on between them. Katniss smiles at the pair, feeling content.“Where’s your husband?” she asks Gale.  
  
Gale cranes his neck and looks over Katniss’s shoulder. “Over there, eating some cake,” he says. “By the way, you guys suck for not smashing it in each other’s faces.”  
  
“Peeta didn’t want to waste good cake,” Katniss explains. “He’s still a little strange about money.” Her tone grows low at the revelation, and Gale nods, understanding.  
  
“Well I guess I can forgive you then,” Gale says, looking over Katniss’s shoulder once more. “There’s an intimidating looking man standing behind you that I think wants to dance with the bride.” Katniss knits her eyebrows together in confusion. “I won’t keep her from you, Joe.” Gale places a chaste kiss on Katniss’s cheek and rushes off, leaving Katniss and her father standing in the middle of the dance floor.  
  
“Do you have the time for a quick dance with your old man?” Joe asks.  
  
“Sure, Daddy.” Katniss smiles, taking his hand.  
  
“You haven’t called me that in years,” Joe points out as he spins Katniss around.  
  
“It feels appropriate today,” Katniss says with a shrug.  
  
“I was really scared that you would choose not to share this day with people,” Joe admits sadly. “I know how you are about this sort of thing, but I think the way that you and Peeta approached this wedding felt very much like you two.”  
  
“You’re not mad that we decided not to have designated dances, either?” Katniss asks, concern evident in her tone.  
  
“Hey, I’m still dancing with my little girl, aren’t I?” Joe asks. “I’m just glad you two decided to share your special day with all of us.”  
  
Any trepidation over their decisions for the wedding are completely washed away with her father’s words. Like Prim, he was happy to just be there watching his first daughter get married. Katniss and Peeta are spending their wedding day with the people they care about the most, and in the end, that is all that matters.

XX

  
“I can’t believe they’re _still_ dancing,” Katniss says, grabbing the bottle of champagne from Peeta’s hand and taking a long pull. “My feet hurt and I wasn’t out there nearly as long as they were.”  
  
After dancing with her father, Katniss escaped the dance floor and went to sit with Peeta who had joined his own father at their table. The three of them had a nice conversation about things ranging from Peeta’s painting, to Katniss’s favorite songs to sing for karaoke.  
  
Now, with the crowd beginning to thin, Katniss, Peeta, Gale, and Neil, occupy an empty corner of the pavilion, each possessing a leftover bottle of champagne. They laugh as they watch Delly and Thom continue to dance -- they’ve barely left the dance floor all night.  
  
“They’re _really_ into each other,” Peeta says. “Always have been.”  
  
“I can tell,” Neil say, slurring his words slightly.  
  
“Ok, ok, do it! Go!” Peeta chants, drumming on the tabletop.  
  
Neil stands up and walks a few feet away before turning around and sauntering back to the table, sitting down across from Gale as Katniss and Peeta watch from the side. “Hey, my name’s Neil,”  he says, cordially.  
  
“I”m Gale. Have you ever been speed dating before?” Gale purses his lips together, as though he is trying to hold back laughter.  
  
“No, this is my first time, what about you?” Neil replies, a grin spreading across his face.  
  
“First time as well.” Gale’s tone is cool and collected. “So, are you a top or a bottom?” At Katniss’s gasp, Gale begins to laugh. “No, no I’m kidding! I didn’t ask him that!”  
  
“Do it right!” Peeta whines. He is drunk. Katniss knew that when he began to whine, he was officially drunk. “You’re supposed to be showing us how you met!”  
  
“But why?” Gale questions. “This is your wedding, you should be showing us!”  
  
“Fine,” Peeta says resolutely. He turns to Katniss and they stare at eachother for a long moment before they both burst into laughter. “I can’t remember what I said!”  
  
“Who cares, just get to the good stuff,” Gale coaxes. “Like when you kissed her like a gentleman on the threshold of her apartment.”  
  
“You guys kissed on the first night?!” Neil chimes in, almost jumping across the table to slap Peeta’s arm. “You never told me that, Peeta!”  
  
Peeta is roaring with laughter. He brings his finger to the corner of his eye and wipes away a tear that has formed as a result of his laughing. “You told Gale that I kissed you like a gentleman?”  
  
“Well you didn’t try to stick your tongue down my throat,” Katniss says defensively, holding back laughter of her own.  
  
“No, that was later,” Peeta reminds her.  
  
“Tell us more,” Gale urges, moving closer.  
  
“Let’s not!” Neil cringes.  
  
Peeta ignores Neil’s comment and bites the inside of his cheek, as though he is thinking of what to say next. “And then we had sex on the couch.”  
  
Neil makes a disapproving noise and grabs the bottle of champagne. He takes an extra long pull and slams it on the table before turning to Gale “See! I told you we should be leery of that couch!”  
  
“You should be leery of the dining room table, too,” Katniss says quietly, slapping her hand over her mouth after she realizes what she just said.  
  
“Okay, now I’ve _really_ heard enough!” Neil groans.  
  
Gale is laughing loudly as he reaches over and rips the champagne bottle from Katniss’s grip. “That’s enough for you. Champagne apparently gives you diarrhea of the mouth.”  
  
“That’s an attractive visual,” Peeta cringes.  
  
As everyone begins another round of laughter, Katniss pauses briefly to look at the three men sitting with her. With her and Peeta now officially married, and Gale and Neil getting ready to embark on a journey that will bring a child into their lives, it hits her just how much has changed in the last two years with all of them. But despite the jealously, misunderstandings, distrust, and lessons they’ve all learned, the four of them are still a family. Katniss knows that no matter how many more changes they will go through in their lives they will always be there for one another defending and supporting each other through all of it, and she can’t think of anything better than that.

** THE END **

  
  



End file.
